inherit
704
0
Feb 21, 2024 9:02:26 GMT 8
408
Iona
293
Mar 6, 2019 21:43:50 GMT 8
March 2019
jos
Non-Binary
transfeminine / agender
She/Her
She/her//they/them
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Post by Iona on Sept 11, 2021 18:21:58 GMT 8
I don't know simply waiting is a good idea. It's very easy to hope something will change Absolutely - really that's what I have been doing. I can't just hope any more, but I have to live my life before transition, I think, to have a chance to live it after. I'm certainly not just waiting now!
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inherit
704
0
Feb 21, 2024 9:02:26 GMT 8
408
Iona
293
Mar 6, 2019 21:43:50 GMT 8
March 2019
jos
Non-Binary
transfeminine / agender
She/Her
She/her//they/them
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Post by Iona on Sept 11, 2021 18:24:17 GMT 8
Only you know what your wife is to you and whether your love is important enough to take her hand in reassurance and stop long enough to listen before you move forward again. Yes, entirely, very much this.
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inherit
131
0
1
Apr 19, 2024 4:09:58 GMT 8
7,159
Trinity
DES Trans
14,574
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Sept 12, 2021 10:38:44 GMT 8
there remains tension and rejection at my own home. My middle daughter who's son we are helping raise and who has a bunch of issues, she does not accept me being trans, thinks its demonic, doesn't like her son seeing me at night or wearing a dress. She can get pretty difficult, hurtful.
They can't change me unless I let them, I can't change them either. I accept that things are the way they are, and just live as I am.
If they reject or walk away, that is their choice.
I am enmeshed with my wife, but we are older, in our sixties, so its probably a bit different in some ways, but I started transitioning when she was 52. So,not the same, and there was city and rural tensions too, in the end we got into kind of a mix, small city and in suburbia, kind of the best of both worlds, but we go to church in the rural and like that.
I had a lot of work and help to do to get my stuff together and was doing that before transition, it made a big difference, but I needed and continue to get more.
Just know that you are not alone, in who you are. For me, the relationships are worth saving, compromise and boundaries and bending, but I can't afford to lose myself the way that I did in middle age. It was not good for me, but I didn't know any better at the time.
We do the best we can with what we have. Its very hard to transition when you are in a marriage and in love. It can be done, and has been done, but it takes a ton of patience and sacrifice and wisdom.
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