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Post by Taka on Nov 19, 2014 16:18:40 GMT 8
many of us already know each other, but that does not mean that all who end up visiting this place already know.
so let's tell each other again. what kind of non-binary are you?
i am having a hard time finding a good term for myself. every time i think i'm starting to get it, the thought slips away from me. in the end i have concluded that i am just me, and no label is needed.
but then you can ask, who am i? i am a person who is usually manlike or boyish. i am also often very womanly, usually in the fierce mother bear protecting way. or is it the evil big sister who will punish anyone other than myself for bullying my younger siblings...? my body seems to scream "female!" it is probably right. i have used it once for the ultimate purpose of a female body, and it has been proven to work. this however, means that i've also lost any and all desire to use my body as a female body ever again.
suddenly one day, being female just stopped working for me. i already suspected it wasn't the rightest thing ever, but it was a little shocking to suddenly one day find my body absolutely useless to me. i thought i wanted to be a man. found out that i was wrong, as i also want to be a woman. just not a female, that's something i'm done with. my goal for my bodily development is to make it less female, and more male. without becoming male completely, because living all the rest of my life as a man would be too tiring, just like i found it is tiring to always be a woman.
i feel happy about this decision. much happier than i felt when i was about to decide on a full ftm transition.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2014 18:12:40 GMT 8
I am a non binary mtf genderqueer genderfluid GenderFreed no op transsexual not male not female with a core that is fully a transperson. On full and heavy hrt.
I present mostly gq socially, or full transition at home privately.
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Post by Ayla on Nov 19, 2014 20:39:17 GMT 8
Ah Trinity now I know who you are! Well my gender sense is that I am a gender fluid MAAB NB who oscillates around andro in presentation when casual but after nearly 4 years on low dose hrt, mild ffs (FAS ie ffs with an andro spin), full beard removal (ouch) I have fundamentally shifted in my understanding of my gender and in my journey. Along the way I realised that I was not MTF, managed to keep my marriage, family, friends and career together while progressively moving towards a more nuanced and honest understanding and presentation of me.
I don't believe that my journey is anywhere near to completion. I suspect there will be many more twists and turns as my brain and emotions continue to re-map and I become more comfortable with an androgynous and more fluid identity. My search is essentially for self understanding, acceptance and expression. Getting to my core and loving my core is my life journey.
I no longer feel defective, broken or 'nature's little joke. In many ways I feel blessed to be non binary and in many ways 2 spirited. Certainly the wonderful folk (and many of them are already here on this forum) who I have met on my journey have enriched my life immensely. I consider myself blessed.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Ayla on Nov 19, 2014 22:12:41 GMT 8
Julie
It isn't so much losing something precious but recognising when I need to move on. We are designed to travel, to evolve and to learn. I could sit under a mango tree but I prefer to walk, to ride, to kayak, to cycle etc. different backdrops, different situations, different paths and different teachers. The good experiences I carry with me, rather than loss I feel growth, wonder and excitement. There appear to be no boundaries to this forest - time to explore
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2014 23:29:33 GMT 8
I am genetically male who once thought I wanted to become female, but changed mid stream in that transition and morphed into an androgynous appearing, non binary person who is still transitioning in a sense as our lives are forever in the ebb and flow of flux since we are all living organisms.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Nov 20, 2014 0:18:02 GMT 8
I was born female with a birth intersex condition that led me to grow up believing I was a boy, I was adamant that puberty would just simply fix my genitals so I could pee standing up. When it didn't happen and instead, breasts began to grow and periods began, depression hit hard - hard to the point I could see no future for myself that I planned to commit suicide on my 18th birthday, which was supposed to be a day of celebrating my turning of legal age of finally being an "adult". The attempt fell through and I did soul-searching as I realized I did not want to leave this Earth until I found out who I was... my identity was something I had no clue of and struggled to figure myself out during early adolescence. At 25, I am still figuring things out but for the most part, I have accepted my identity is fluid based on my mood. My physical body I am in the midst of medical transitioning? It has to closer to effeminate male than female. My gender identity? It can be harder to pin down at times. It comes in waves at times. Female, andro, male, both, everything at once or nothing at all. For what has been more constant than other waves, the genderless aspect is very strong, so is being androgyne. Androgyne, to me, describes my male body, my desire to dress and appear socially as female but legally male on paper ... I might as well call myself a femboy but even that isn't quite hitting the mark. Like the wall my previous identities always slammed into in the past, it is close but not close enough. Man ----> Femboy ----> ? ----> Me Ultimately, I am Jacey, that is what kind of non-binary I am.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 2:31:28 GMT 8
I am a girl - but also not a girl. I will never be and never have been a boy. For a time (too long a time) I lived as a man. Today I live as a lover. A lover of people, a lover of life, a lover of children, a lover of you who see this post. Mostly I am a child of a bi-modal curve who is skewed to the feminine, but refuses to deny her past and her experience. I celebrate the man I tried so hard to be and the woman who evolved from that spirit. Aisla, and Trinity I am delighted to see you, but I hope you are not sacrificing something precious. I hope none of us are. Peace, Julie Not a time for misgivings or regrets sweet hearts, stand fast to your convictions and uphold what is right. Time to move ahead in the continual and ongoing evolution as new creations in a modern time!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 2:35:33 GMT 8
I was born female with a birth intersex condition that led me to grow up believing I was a boy, I was adamant that puberty would just simply fix my genitals so I could pee standing up. When it didn't happen and instead, breasts began to grow and periods began, depression hit hard - hard to the point I could see no future for myself that I planned to commit suicide on my 18th birthday, which was supposed to be a day of celebrating my turning of legal age of finally being an "adult". The attempt fell through and I did soul-searching as I realized I did not want to leave this Earth until I found out who I was... my identity was something I had no clue of and struggled to figure myself out during early adolescence. At 25, I am still figuring things out but for the most part, I have accepted my identity is fluid based on my mood. My physical body I am in the midst of medical transitioning? It has to closer to effeminate male than female. My gender identity? It can be harder to pin down at times. It comes in waves at times. Female, andro, male, both, everything at once or nothing at all. For what has been more constant than other waves, the genderless aspect is very strong, so is being androgyne. Androgyne, to me, describes my male body, my desire to dress and appear socially as female but legally male on paper ... I might as well call myself a femboy but even that isn't quite hitting the mark. Like the wall my previous identities always slammed into in the past, it is close but not close enough. Man ----> Femboy ----> ? ----> Me Ultimately, I am Jacey, that is what kind of non-binary I am. You are so cool Jacey consider yourself loved by all who are thankful to you for creating this wonderful meeting place.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 2:40:29 GMT 8
I was MAAB, but have known for a long time that i should have been FAABulous (thanks Cameron), I tool steps to correct that, but dislike the box labeled women and female as defined by society. I identify as being a demigirl, because i'm female bodied and kind of feminine, but mostly i don't think about gender at all when it comes to me.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 3:18:22 GMT 8
I was MAAB, but have known for a long time that i should have been FAABulous (thanks Cameron), I tool steps to correct that, but dislike the box labeled women and female as defined by society. I identify as being a demigirl, because i'm female bodied and kind of feminine, but mostly i don't think about gender at all when it comes to me. A mostly hot looking demigirl at that! ( Been keeping it a secret, I still really like girls)
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Post by Taka on Nov 20, 2014 4:11:43 GMT 8
you too!? i really need to ask some questions soon...
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Post by Ayla on Nov 20, 2014 17:05:27 GMT 8
Julie It isn't so much losing something precious but recognising when I need to move on. We are designed to travel, to evolve and to learn. I could sit under a mango tree but I prefer to walk, to ride, to kayak, to cycle etc. different backdrops, different situations, different paths and different teachers. The good experiences I carry with me, rather than loss I feel growth, wonder and excitement. There appear to be no boundaries to this forest - time to explore Safe travels Aisla You have a mango tree? That's it I gotta move. Well we also have macadamia and banana trees, passion fruit, kiwi fruit and the rest. Oz is a beautiful place but there again I love Seattle, WA, BC and the great NW so don't pretend that you are doing it tough!
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Post by Ayla on Nov 22, 2014 9:59:31 GMT 8
Julie - Is this like tinnitus which I thought involved ringing in your ears? If it does then this is a good thing as I love jewellery and wordplay.
Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2014 10:38:55 GMT 8
I really don't know. That is the big pink elphant in my room. At this point I really don't know if it matters even. What kind? Maybe more MTF non binary. Yesterday I was called sir, yesterday I also got wolf whistled taking the trash out. But when called sir it was jeans and t shirt, male mode, and when whistled at cutoffs and a tank top. So yeah a little confusing sometimes.
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Post by Patty on Nov 22, 2014 12:36:44 GMT 8
Fluid ? Bi ? Yes, but definitely female at the core.
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