inherit
704
0
Feb 21, 2024 9:02:26 GMT 8
408
Iona
293
Mar 6, 2019 21:43:50 GMT 8
March 2019
jos
Non-Binary
transfeminine / agender
She/Her
She/her//they/them
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Post by Iona on Apr 20, 2020 5:37:39 GMT 8
My wife has really sweetly taken to calling me Josie from time to time. Which is lovely, but it confirms that it doesn't feel right. Now I'm having trouble introducing the name Hana to her... Ok, so I really wrote that to get into the mindset to tell her. Which I just did. She said she thinks I'm more of a Hana than a Josie. I agree.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Apr 20, 2020 6:46:25 GMT 8
My wife has really sweetly taken to calling me Josie from time to time. Which is lovely, but it confirms that it doesn't feel right. Now I'm having trouble introducing the name Hana to her... Ok, so I really wrote that to get into the mindset to tell her. Which I just did. She said she thinks I'm more of a Hana than a Josie. I agree. Niiiiiiiice
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nyx
Full Member
Posts: 175
Gender: FTM Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/His/Him
Orientation: Queer
inherit
918
0
Feb 7, 2022 13:19:36 GMT 8
231
nyx
175
Oct 1, 2020 21:28:50 GMT 8
October 2020
nyx
FTM Non-Binary
He/His/Him
Queer
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Post by nyx on Jan 25, 2021 19:10:59 GMT 8
I've been using the name 'Rin' since last november among the few people I came out to. Good thing is that partner and I call each other by names oftenly (although sometimes we use just stupidtalk like boo or any weird noises we come up with). He likes it and other people just said 'ok' so I guess it's fine. But I still tend to use my given name when talking about myself even if only my partner is around. I started trying out nb stuff when I began playing DnD last spring. My character is a gnome rogue called Nyx, named of course after the greek goddess of the night and therefore not exactly nb, still a she but I created the charakter looking completely androgynous with a personality that is similar to mine, grumpy and quiet but once one gained her trust, a good friend. Doesn't mind being called 'little lady' but sometimes sighs about it because lady is the least fitting word for Nyx. So now you know where my nickname comes from... In the second campaign I played in, I created a character that is completely nb and refuses to answer questions about their gender, saying 'it doesn't matter so why ask about it, I am who I am'. They are a true hero and believe in the goodness of all people - I first picked these traits to make them a bit of a hero-meme character but if I'm honest it might be a bit of how I would like to be... when I was little, my dream was to be a superhero and I actually dreamed of being an anthropomorph black panther wearing a cape and scooting through the sky, fighting evil! Ok well you know I'm a crazy noodle sometimes. Anyways, I recently quit playing in the campaign because when we started with a session, I said 'Hi' and freaked out about the sound of my voice (it is very high-pitched), not sure why in this moment but I couldn't talk anymore, feeling so dysphoric.. after 15 minutes of not being able to talk, I wrote (we play on Discord) that I was feeling not well and logged out, tears already running over my face. My partner who is the DM asked me what's wrong and I told him it's fine I just don't feel well and need some time for myself... explained the thruth later when feeling better again. I couldn't bring myself to play again since that. I thought about this and now I think that maybe it happened BECAUSE I was out to these people that I wanted to be myself and the dysphoria hit me so hard because I realized there was a mismatch? While around people I'm not out to, I probably play a role and with the mask on it doesn't hurt so much because it is just a mask? Does this make any sense?
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inherit
704
0
Feb 21, 2024 9:02:26 GMT 8
408
Iona
293
Mar 6, 2019 21:43:50 GMT 8
March 2019
jos
Non-Binary
transfeminine / agender
She/Her
She/her//they/them
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Post by Iona on Jan 25, 2021 20:43:06 GMT 8
Anyways, I recently quit playing in the campaign because when we started with a session, I said 'Hi' and freaked out about the sound of my voice (it is very high-pitched), not sure why in this moment but I couldn't talk anymore, feeling so dysphoric.. after 15 minutes of not being able to talk, I wrote (we play on Discord) that I was feeling not well and logged out, tears already running over my face. My partner who is the DM asked me what's wrong and I told him it's fine I just don't feel well and need some time for myself... explained the thruth later when feeling better again. I couldn't bring myself to play again since that. I thought about this and now I think that maybe it happened BECAUSE I was out to these people that I wanted to be myself and the dysphoria hit me so hard because I realized there was a mismatch? While around people I'm not out to, I probably play a role and with the mask on it doesn't hurt so much because it is just a mask? Does this make any sense? Oh yes, it makes a lot of sense to me. I'm finding my voice is providing me with the most dysphoria now. And I hadn't thought about that, but yes it probably hits me harder when with people I'm out to. I think you're right that idea that the mismatch feels more pronounced then. I guess part of what we're doing is projecting what we think they think 'male' and 'female' voices are supposed to sound like - which itself is a problematic idea, but I'm not sure it's as easy as just deciding not to think like that any more. Perhaps it is about working on our voices in as much as it feels good and right to us, while working on dropping those assumptions we have about what we're 'supposed' to sound like. Easier said than done, but I think I need to resist being led more by those assumptions than what feels right. I think I have a whole lot more I could say about this, so I see if I can either find or start a thread in a more relevant place. Edit: it's right next door, here
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