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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2015 20:32:30 GMT 8
Gunna keep you in prayer. You have been on my mind. I am struggling too, but not with being out. Bitterness is my problem, and late transition. These trials do develop us, but its hard. I still have not told my extended family or my mother. They do not need to know, Mom will blame herself since I am DES transbirthed, and she is too old and has anxiety problems, Dad knows and supports strongly, my other siblings I havet told, its irrelevant for them, why do it. The transphobes? Not telling them anything they'll codependent me to the max. So talk to us Malachite, whats happening, can you open up more so we can chat? It would really be great. Who needs to know, who do you want to know, and who is stuck in misinterpreted scripture trying to stick their nose into that which is not their business? I have a lot of respect for you hon. Blessings my dear. Hi Trinity, I don't want anyone to know, but sadly, my mom, dad, and two sisters, and my brother-in-law are the primary ones that need to know. With the exception of my dad, the family are conservative black charasmatics, so you know this isn't going to go well chances are. Before everyone else, my mother needs to know because I live with her. She might kick me out of the house for attempting to be who I am, or if by some chance she will let me stay, she will make my life hell with guilt and condemnation, even though she is a drunkard herself. I don't know where else to go. I know I will get the typical "God doesn't make mistakes/ God made you a woman." type stuff. I'm quite a fundamentalist myself, so the show down will be interesting in itself.....them condemning me to Hell because I chose to bring my body closer to who I know I am. and me essentially condeming them to Hell for teaching a work's salvation, something I am strongly against. At the end of the day, I know hearts will be broken and tears will be shed, and I don''t know if I could deal with that emotionally. I'm pretty much isolated in my county with no support I can physically see or touch, aside from my King James Bible and laptop. Jeremiah 20 14-18 has come to be my favorite scriptures because of this....because I really wish that I died in the womb. @jamie thanks. I plan on telling my family here how the reaction went.... This has me really nervous. I have to prepare for a storm. You're welcome Malachite. If you always prepare for a storm though, you will make it through. You're right and your family is right. God don't make mistakes but sometimes nature does though. Man makes mistakes like with the DES stuff. Like pumping food animals such as cows, chickens and so on with artificial hormones to yield more meat. Fertilizers and stuff used on crops may change the makeup of the human body including the brain. I seem to always use the argument that God made me who I am, nature made me what I look like. The Spirit or Soul is supposedly Eternal. The body is not. It goes back to the Earth. In 1000 years after I die and my grave is dug up, my skeleton will still be there, DNA will still show male, Skeletal features will still show male. My timy boobs will be long gone, my brain will be nothing but dried up matter if even that. What ever my clothes are that I was wearing before being burried will be gone or rotted away. But the part of me that is writing this will still go on because the Spirit is Devine, the body is natural and will remain a part of this planet until the sun dies and annihalates the Solar System. I can dig up every grave and the remants of the human body will be there, so the body don't go to heaven. If so every Casket would be empty. Hearts may be broken and tears shed, but what about yours Malachite? It will sound selfish but sometimes we have to do what is best for ourselves and our own happiness. You didn't die in the womb though. Why? Because there is something for you. We all have missions, some for others and some for ourselves but we all touch each other lives in ways that are unimaginable. Trans or cis, our Souls are all Children of God and we are all brothers and sisters. OK so you are who you are and it maybe because of your family and teaching them learning to look past what they percieve and see deeper the Creations of God. Also Malachite and really think about this one. Why would a loving God put us through a living hell and then condemn us to hell? You are stronger than what you think. We all are. Most normal cisgender people could not live one day of our lives. It is more selfish for people to keep you as their perceptions of you instead of letting you be free to be who you are. I hope this helps and it is a few arguments that you can use if need be and Good luck. My thoughts are with you.
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Post by Malachite on May 13, 2015 9:24:12 GMT 8
Adult children of alcoholics. Another important read is the book codependent no more. On forum, Cynthia is our codependency expert. How old are you dear? You read early 20s. Safety is first concern, mental and physical. Kjv translates to conservative but the original languages have too many key nuances to ignore. I have a pentacostal preacher evangelist that has no issue with me as trans. She is black, and more concerned with Jesus than trans. Can get you in contact. My wife and kids want to take me to a Baptist church, I don't wanna go. I go suicidal when they preach the bigotry. I assume that their women are not allowed to speak, etc, legalistic foolishness missing Christ heart totally on us, a grave sin and error, missing His love for us. And the foolishness of god don't make mistakes used as a club. No He doesn't. He made us trans on purpose, with the courage to change the world in His strength. Yesterday, I asked my mom if she was getting anything from AA, and she told me no. I asked her if that has made her cut back on her drinking, and she said no That made me sad. I told her that she should try to get something out of it, and she said okay. I knew she was saying okay just to shut me up, and it is sad because I really wanted that to help her change her life. I am 23 years old. I wouldn't mind getting in contact with that preacher. Is she also trans, or is she a cisgendered ally? I wish to settle down spiritually in a Baptist church as my theological beliefs tend to align with IFB Baptists, but I would be automatically condemned by virture of who I am. If there is a liberal Baptist church in your area, I'd say go for it. Some southern Baptist or even reformed churches may not be that bad, but you're more likely to find the type of baptists you describe at independent, fundamental, King James only churches, or maybe even free will Baptist churches, so I would tread carefully. I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of being trans, if there is one for myself, but I do agree that it is foolish to wield the "God doesn't make mistakes" club around. Though it may be true, it has an extremely dismissive attitude to those born with physical birth defects, etc. if I had a quarter for every time I'd hear that in my life, I'd be rich. @jamie That is what I told my sister a few years back that I agree: God doesn't make mistakes. People make mistakes. Nature makes mistakes, but she doesn't want to hear that. It is true that if you dig up my body 1,000 years from now my DNA and bone structure will say female, and no matter what I change on the outside, my chromosomes will say female. However, I am more than just a bundle of chromosomes and DNA. What I feel should count the most: my heart and soul….is male, and that should be the most important thing. That is the main point I want to get through to them, but I have a feeling they won’t accept that. I’ve shed so many tears over this matter. I don’t think God would make us go through Hell just to be condemned in the end. I don’t know why I have to go through this, if there is a reason. It very well could be to reach others that otherwise may not be reached. If that is the case, then I really hope my story will touch them, but I don’t expect it to.
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2015 9:42:54 GMT 8
Adult children of alcoholics. Another important read is the book codependent no more. On forum, Cynthia is our codependency expert. How old are you dear? You read early 20s. Safety is first concern, mental and physical. Kjv translates to conservative but the original languages have too many key nuances to ignore. I have a pentacostal preacher evangelist that has no issue with me as trans. She is black, and more concerned with Jesus than trans. Can get you in contact. My wife and kids want to take me to a Baptist church, I don't wanna go. I go suicidal when they preach the bigotry. I assume that their women are not allowed to speak, etc, legalistic foolishness missing Christ heart totally on us, a grave sin and error, missing His love for us. And the foolishness of god don't make mistakes used as a club. No He doesn't. He made us trans on purpose, with the courage to change the world in His strength. Yesterday, I asked my mom if she was getting anything from AA, and she told me no. I asked her if that has made her cut back on her drinking, and she said no That made me sad. I told her that she should try to get something out of it, and she said okay. I knew she was saying okay just to shut me up, and it is sad because I really wanted that to help her change her life. I am 23 years old. I wouldn't mind getting in contact with that preacher. Is she also trans, or is she a cisgendered ally? I wish to settle down spiritually in a Baptist church as my theological beliefs tend to align with IFB Baptists, but I would be automatically condemned by virture of who I am. If there is a liberal Baptist church in your area, I'd say go for it. Some southern Baptist or even reformed churches may not be that bad, but you're more likely to find the type of baptists you describe at independent, fundamental, King James only churches, or maybe even free will Baptist churches, so I would tread carefully. I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of being trans, if there is one for myself, but I do agree that it is foolish to wield the "God doesn't make mistakes" club around. Though it may be true, it has an extremely dismissive attitude to those born with physical birth defects, etc. if I had a quarter for every time I'd hear that in my life, I'd be rich. @jamie That is what I told my sister a few years back that I agree: God doesn't make mistakes. People make mistakes. Nature makes mistakes, but she doesn't want to hear that. It is true that if you dig up my body 1,000 years from now my DNA and bone structure will say female, and no matter what I change on the outside, my chromosomes will say female. However, I am more than just a bundle of chromosomes and DNA. What I feel should count the most: my heart and soul….is male, and that should be the most important thing. That is the main point I want to get through to them, but I have a feeling they won’t accept that. I’ve shed so many tears over this matter. I don’t think God would make us go through Hell just to be condemned in the end. I don’t know why I have to go through this, if there is a reason. It very well could be to reach others that otherwise may not be reached. If that is the case, then I really hope my story will touch them, but I don’t expect it to. Kinda reeling here. Some of it was a spiritual attack, not on forum, a trap. The preacher is cis, Pentecostal. Her husband split and booze is a factor. Aa works but in my experience only those desperate to get sober and willing to do anything to do it get sober. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Because of her alcoholism you will have been affected and will need training to uninstall the stuff that gets in us there. Your best bet is al anon. Pm Cynthia she is a black belt in this. The church will sort it out for me, I use times square church www.tscnyc.org live stream. Twenty three is young and a hard transition point, lean on us here. You have time to tell of transition. First task is independence to get therapy and hormones. There are members that did it without support. Lean on God, lean on us. He told me to trust Him. Reach out to Jesus. First learn the way to free yourself from tyranny of controllers, then focus on transition. A gender therapist can help the coming out process. Advice here, not control. The people are here for you. Reach out to us. Blessings in Christ Satin Joy aka Trinity
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2015 10:04:09 GMT 8
Text sent to the preacher. I am out to her, no issues.
If she feels called, I'll pm you her number.
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2015 15:37:29 GMT 8
Adult children of alcoholics. Another important read is the book codependent no more. On forum, Cynthia is our codependency expert. How old are you dear? You read early 20s. Safety is first concern, mental and physical. Kjv translates to conservative but the original languages have too many key nuances to ignore. I have a pentacostal preacher evangelist that has no issue with me as trans. She is black, and more concerned with Jesus than trans. Can get you in contact. My wife and kids want to take me to a Baptist church, I don't wanna go. I go suicidal when they preach the bigotry. I assume that their women are not allowed to speak, etc, legalistic foolishness missing Christ heart totally on us, a grave sin and error, missing His love for us. And the foolishness of god don't make mistakes used as a club. No He doesn't. He made us trans on purpose, with the courage to change the world in His strength. Yesterday, I asked my mom if she was getting anything from AA, and she told me no. I asked her if that has made her cut back on her drinking, and she said no That made me sad. I told her that she should try to get something out of it, and she said okay. I knew she was saying okay just to shut me up, and it is sad because I really wanted that to help her change her life. I am 23 years old. I wouldn't mind getting in contact with that preacher. Is she also trans, or is she a cisgendered ally? I wish to settle down spiritually in a Baptist church as my theological beliefs tend to align with IFB Baptists, but I would be automatically condemned by virture of who I am. If there is a liberal Baptist church in your area, I'd say go for it. Some southern Baptist or even reformed churches may not be that bad, but you're more likely to find the type of baptists you describe at independent, fundamental, King James only churches, or maybe even free will Baptist churches, so I would tread carefully. I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of being trans, if there is one for myself, but I do agree that it is foolish to wield the "God doesn't make mistakes" club around. Though it may be true, it has an extremely dismissive attitude to those born with physical birth defects, etc. if I had a quarter for every time I'd hear that in my life, I'd be rich. @jamie That is what I told my sister a few years back that I agree: God doesn't make mistakes. People make mistakes. Nature makes mistakes, but she doesn't want to hear that. It is true that if you dig up my body 1,000 years from now my DNA and bone structure will say female, and no matter what I change on the outside, my chromosomes will say female. However, I am more than just a bundle of chromosomes and DNA. What I feel should count the most: my heart and soul….is male, and that should be the most important thing. That is the main point I want to get through to them, but I have a feeling they won’t accept that. I’ve shed so many tears over this matter. I don’t think God would make us go through Hell just to be condemned in the end. I don’t know why I have to go through this, if there is a reason. It very well could be to reach others that otherwise may not be reached. If that is the case, then I really hope my story will touch them, but I don’t expect it to. Yeah Malachite we are way more than chromosomes and DNA. Your heart and your Soul that is the very essence of you. Don't sweat why we should go through this hell. We do. But ther is a reason. What? I don't know. I really wish I could tell you but I think it is different for each of us. I really wish I had the answer though. But Sweetie, most people don't want to face what your sister didn't want to. That would blow thier whole sense of self identity. I can understand that. The unknown is scary. We face this everyday and we feel and know. the body and Spirit are seperate. Some people can't accept that. Never ever discount ourself of the good you can do. If you can save one life that is pure Divinity. Even though we go through hell on Earth, it should never end before it's time. If you can ever help someone whether trans related or not then that is Divine too. My DNA and Chromsomes are not me. Me is what is typing right now. Me is the part that cares. Me is me. Not goo or bad but just me. the body is not me. Yeah I'm kind of tied to it and have made it my own and it kind of made me a little more comfy in the world but it isn't me. Me is the part that will go on forever. There is a reaosn we are trans. We may be the new rung on the evolutionary ladder or maybe we need to go through hell before we experience heaven. I don't have those answers. But you are you and you are as special as anyone else. There is a rhyme and reason. What? I don't know.
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2015 23:31:05 GMT 8
Not disorder
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Post by Malachite on May 14, 2015 1:25:59 GMT 8
Yesterday, I asked my mom if she was getting anything from AA, and she told me no. I asked her if that has made her cut back on her drinking, and she said no That made me sad. I told her that she should try to get something out of it, and she said okay. I knew she was saying okay just to shut me up, and it is sad because I really wanted that to help her change her life. I am 23 years old. I wouldn't mind getting in contact with that preacher. Is she also trans, or is she a cisgendered ally? I wish to settle down spiritually in a Baptist church as my theological beliefs tend to align with IFB Baptists, but I would be automatically condemned by virture of who I am. If there is a liberal Baptist church in your area, I'd say go for it. Some southern Baptist or even reformed churches may not be that bad, but you're more likely to find the type of baptists you describe at independent, fundamental, King James only churches, or maybe even free will Baptist churches, so I would tread carefully. I'm still trying to figure out the purpose of being trans, if there is one for myself, but I do agree that it is foolish to wield the "God doesn't make mistakes" club around. Though it may be true, it has an extremely dismissive attitude to those born with physical birth defects, etc. if I had a quarter for every time I'd hear that in my life, I'd be rich. @jamie That is what I told my sister a few years back that I agree: God doesn't make mistakes. People make mistakes. Nature makes mistakes, but she doesn't want to hear that. It is true that if you dig up my body 1,000 years from now my DNA and bone structure will say female, and no matter what I change on the outside, my chromosomes will say female. However, I am more than just a bundle of chromosomes and DNA. What I feel should count the most: my heart and soul….is male, and that should be the most important thing. That is the main point I want to get through to them, but I have a feeling they won’t accept that. I’ve shed so many tears over this matter. I don’t think God would make us go through Hell just to be condemned in the end. I don’t know why I have to go through this, if there is a reason. It very well could be to reach others that otherwise may not be reached. If that is the case, then I really hope my story will touch them, but I don’t expect it to. Kinda reeling here. Some of it was a spiritual attack, not on forum, a trap. The preacher is cis, Pentecostal. Her husband split and booze is a factor. Aa works but in my experience only those desperate to get sober and willing to do anything to do it get sober. It was the hardest thing I ever did. Because of her alcoholism you will have been affected and will need training to uninstall the stuff that gets in us there. Your best bet is al anon. Pm Cynthia she is a black belt in this. The church will sort it out for me, I use times square church www.tscnyc.org live stream. Twenty three is young and a hard transition point, lean on us here. You have time to tell of transition. First task is independence to get therapy and hormones. There are members that did it without support. Lean on God, lean on us. He told me to trust Him. Reach out to Jesus. First learn the way to free yourself from tyranny of controllers, then focus on transition. A gender therapist can help the coming out process. Advice here, not control. The people are here for you. Reach out to us. Blessings in Christ Satin Joy aka Trinity Yeah, I don't think my mother wants to learn anything from the classes. I think she just just doing that because she was at-fault for a DUI collision (which I was in the car for). I checked out the tscnyc website and hopefully I am able to catch a lives tream in the near future. I am interested in seeing a couple of their sermons. Does your pastor/the church have a Facebook page? I'd feel more comfortable talking to her through there if possible. I wish I had the funds to get more gender therapy, but I just had enough to get my top surgery letter. The hormones have to wait due to finances sadly. It was cheaper to just get the surgery out of the way. I'm nervous about this journey, but I try to remember that God is in my corner, despite what the "ex-gays/ex-transgenders" might think. I had a dream last month that basically confirmed that God is with me, and I could message you with the dream if you'd like. @jamie That last part you said really resignated with me: "or maybe we need to go through hell before we experience heaven." On another forum my signature it literally, "Sometimes you have to go through outer hell to get to inner heaven." I thought it was funny that you mentioned that.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 17:34:23 GMT 8
Malachite please check in.
I am reviving slightly since I wrote the open letter.
Christ is the church, we are in Him. So we have the right to be our own temples, God living in us. It's time to pool our strength and overcome it.
Trinity
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Post by Malachite on May 27, 2015 23:08:09 GMT 8
I'm here-kinda fell into a another depression for unrelated reasons: primarily due to a detransitioner who has mde it her goal to attack our community now. I'm trying to hang in there. I saw your latest post in the Christian support forum, and I will be praying for you, sister.
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2015 23:15:35 GMT 8
Time for us to take it into our own hands together to maintain our fire. Enough of those blowing candles out. Light em up!
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Post by Malachite on May 28, 2015 1:28:28 GMT 8
Time for us to take it into our own hands together to maintain our fire. Enough of those blowing candles out. Light em up! I know that's right!!!!! Amen!!!!
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2015 17:55:18 GMT 8
I restarted this thread and all hell broke loose at work, here, and at home.
It has an odd feel to it, a demonic attack on the forest, I see more than satanic influence being dealt with, I see spiritual warfare in play. None of the nonchristians being a source.
I have no issues with them or even with the occultism or the white witch.
But I see the influence of the destroyer getting pissed off as truth is exposed. He has folks he controls inside the church.
Pray. Our God knows the outcomes.
God is involved on this thread, I can feel him, and the enemy of our souls is in His sites.
See through the patterns, you can see it, if you can.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2015 21:54:11 GMT 8
With Mark taken out, Shan taken out , and I sat listening to a sermon on spiritual warfare, needing it. And then they said accepting homosexuality was a doctrine of demons.
I'm.not a demon. Far from it. I'm not wired into demons.
Every time they do this, I want to put a shotgun in my mouth.. it hurts that much.
But the author of life, what about Him?
I love Christ, I loved the Pentecostal church, I am cast out, told I am controlled by a demon.
I give up on them.
We need our own church.
When I first accepted being trans, there was great demonic interference, attempting to distort the truth, use it to destroy the marriage and kill me. The enemy uses anything he can to go after us. Including doctrine.
I am sick of it.
They are cutting me down, but the answers are in the book and in prayer.
We must survive it. I am not reprobate. I met Him, I know Him. I mean it.
Why is that so offensive?
Why did the enemy take down Mark? It was an obvious set up. I see it clear as day, using feelings to take someone out. .it didn't have to happen. It's a terrible blow to the place we need her the most.
And we still have that word of knowledge that had come, it appears to be crazy, that's probably why it was sent. And aisla said it was concurrent worldwide with an outbreak demonizing trans. A rebuttal from above.
They are stuck in rigid legalism., the demonized not aisla. They cannot see who we are. They are blind guides.
They cannot or will not understand.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2015 17:57:50 GMT 8
LJ great to see you dear.
Even if you don't feel called to this forum, we could really use your help here. When you feel the Spirit call you.
Star, many thanks as well. We are trying to get back what others have interfered with, a deep communion with Christ.
Whenever someone interferes with a relationship there is usually anger.
They can only interfere with ours with Christ if we let them, and ours with our trans selves as well.
But we must walk in truth, the enemy of our souls is a master of deception.
Saw your original post, can we help restore you to happy again? Your church is in your heart...you have a big one.
Blessings dear
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jun 1, 2015 19:59:45 GMT 8
Oh how I liked that post.
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