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Post by Deleted on Jun 4, 2015 0:10:57 GMT 8
Red hot for the living Christ. The one that made me me, transgendered, and Christian.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2015 19:22:49 GMT 8
All he'll is breaking loose at home.
Wife is hurt bad. I'm being blamed for allowing demonic access.
I don't understand.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Jun 9, 2015 19:37:35 GMT 8
Is your wife blaming you? When people are hurt and frustrated, they will lash out at those closest to them and say things they don't mean to, that they will later regret.
Don't let it get to you. She fell and injured herself, neither of you are at fault. Accidents happen, it's out of our control.
We are here for you, dear friend. Always.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 9, 2015 20:09:42 GMT 8
Hi
There's something going on, something evil.
Both she and I make an impact for Christ. I'm so in every ones face as a Christian who is trans that I am hated on principle by a whole lot of folks. Add being psychic and leaving the occult makes me a focal point.
I'm being sifted, I know it. I nerd to not fight that, and let it purge out.
It will result in blessings.
Love you all.
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jun 11, 2015 19:15:52 GMT 8
I had written a beautiful post and my sip deleted it. I was saying that I had forgiven the folks that have been condemning trans. But it's gone. Doing better here. Sad to lose a post that had healing and the Lord's Spirit in it. But I need to do better, walk with Him more, avoiding all bitterness and anger, replacing it with unconditional love, for everyone. Trinity
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Post by Whisper on Jun 12, 2015 8:03:26 GMT 8
people seem to place their own opinions into religious beliefs.
"its not me that hates someone, its god." stuff like this has been going on since the beginning of recorded written time.
i kinda think i see through now, what is people's opinion and what is more in line with a creator.
moses did it, paul did it, modern theologians do it.
jesus didn't do it.
Malachite, i do believe you have a purpose.
as for rigid denominations, i will stay far away from them. i don't want to fight them. i would rather stay in a peaceful sanctuary, one's own place and peace.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 15, 2015 19:13:00 GMT 8
I'm still struggling, it's probably controversial to have some psychic gifts, but these gifts are God given, not me driven or created.
I feel the burden of the cross, the truth of the need for it, I am convinced the bible is true, I've lived it out.
More self examination. More questions, less fear.
But nothing I speak of is against scripture, the pentacostals do it, I just was trained, so it was easier to wire in.
I am afraid, dear ones, I have been defeated before, for a purpose. My wife's fear is terrible, it feeds mine, this is where I need combined prayer support. Including purging my own sin nature.
It's always been a spiritual battle around me.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2015 2:08:07 GMT 8
Wild ride.
Shaken up, but drawing closer to Christ. I have no idea what will happen, I only know it's time.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Jun 21, 2015 13:27:19 GMT 8
That's wonderful news, Laura The liver is an incredibly sturdy organ. I was at high risk of getting fatty liver disease, I had poor diet, zero exercise and drank heavily in my life back then. I was told that if I kept going the way I was, I would end up with cirrhosis. Now, fast forward a year or so, I adopted a healthy diet, plenty of exercise and cut out the booze - all my levels are within the healthy range and any signs of fatty liver disease have completely vanished. Maybe stopping the cycle of negativity and allowing to love, accept yourself has allowed His love to overwhelm you and shower you with the gift of perfect health. You've got a second chance!
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Post by Deleted on Jun 21, 2015 18:50:17 GMT 8
That's great Laura!
Don't let booze sneak up on you....you know where I still am right now.
Praise God.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 25, 2015 18:16:26 GMT 8
Doing ok here, the heavy stuff, we are using it to advantage, making bad into good, understanding the why's. Learning, praying. Reconnected to my prayer partners.
A course correction. It's ok. Vision and clarity is the result.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2015 18:45:27 GMT 8
Did times square church yesterday online feed, it was great. Pretty sure we know what God is doing, I'm hitting bottom on job abuse, unhealthy. Gunna need a lot of prayer.
Working hard on bitterness, went over the edge yesterday. Way too much stress, and the ruminating ball started up about living as Sh'e. I got to suicidal and suicidal fantasy thinking about using the shotgun, saying goodbye, what wall to have behind me, then I got that shut down.
I am not in a good place right now.
It's all gotta be handled just right.
Dysphoria hurts. Wife asked if all the hurts and pain we've had was the devil having permission because I'm trans. Then she asked if I was into porn. I told her no, that's truth. But lately with all the stress I've been tempted, it's an addictive, unhealthy escape.
Day at a time.
I have no time for self or balance now, I am poured out like water, the mind fatigue and fear is getting to me.
Something has to give. I snapped yesterday, if I want to kill my life, I might as well do it without killing the body or the loved ones tender little hearts. So that shotgun is now pointed at stress creators. No not people. Mental, physical stuff. Not literally dears, it's a metaphor.
Much is being asked of me. Christ living in me, only way through it. Staying compassionate and wired in.
I've done it before, we have, we live by other rules, by the leading and direction of Jesus through the Holy Spirit.
Living it. Radical Christianity...as much as we are able to do it.
I've lived through too much for anything but truth to be enough, the wild, dangerous, powerful, loving Christ that is my closest friend, and has been from the day He spoke into my mind, as I saved a little worm in a mud puddle, and He said He loved me for loving His little worm. Clear as a bell, third grade, and the beginning of outrageous bullying then.
Bullying His loved one. Not a good move.
Off to work, have to walk the walk now of sacrificial compassion, and meet the deadlines in a place ruled by fear and unequal scales. God always balances the scales, and I'm dirty anyway, when fatigue hits I email friends, that's stealing time, have to stop that now.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Mingma on Jun 29, 2015 23:59:20 GMT 8
There is an old heuristic that God will never give you more than you can handle. It doesn't work that way, God frequently gives me more than I can deal with. But, so far at least, I have always been given the tools of grace to release the pain and the fear. Pointing the shotgun at your tormentors or at yourself is not the answer that the Prince of Peace condones. His solution is found in Mathew five among other places: But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he makes his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.
This passage does not mean that we capitulate to trouble or to evil, rather it means that we do the work and God arranges the outcomes
The blessings of the beatitudes are the blessing of faith in the eternal goodness of God. No matter what transpires in your life reliance on the infinite makes it possible for trans people to carry on and even to thrive. I would not write this way outside of a religious conversation because I am sometimes castigated for how I approach faith and belief. For me the point of both is that when the burden is too much, when I can't find a way forward, I have a way to search inward where the answers dwell and sanctuary can be found.
Ming
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 4:06:52 GMT 8
This is good stuff here. My nature is loving. It's who I am.
That's been tested lately.
I need to remain true to core.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 10:09:00 GMT 8
Falling into His arms. I have to somehow get past stuff and get back into the love of Christ.
Blessings.
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