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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 10:37:17 GMT 8
Listening to an old Dave Wilkerson sermon. I drifted, missed it. Forgive me please, for falling short.
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 17:40:40 GMT 8
It's becoming clear to me that the negativity of some in church, the negative response in our own community, the bullying, the devil, and just dysphoria and the fear that goes with it, have deeply eroded my faith and my walk. Clearly I need to reset.
At the heart of the issue is somewhere an agreement with their words, for if there was none, no fear could be triggered, no low self esteem.
I must find my way back to my Christian core, the one that got us through so much. I must find within the unconditional love of the fairy, that candle that has become dim, by the cares and worries of the world, and by darts that got into my mind.
I must guard my mind. Too much damage was done, the finger of Christ must cast out all fear, all pain, all anger, and heal my heart.
So, daily sanctuary, how's it going.
Hitting bottom on codependency, hitting bottom on spiritual loss of faith, on bitterness at what I perceive to be exclusion by those whose arms should be wide open.
To really be Christian requires me to love them anyway, see past the ignorance into the why, love them like He did.
I'm willing. I can only do that with Him in full control, only if I completely yield my spirit to Him, nothing held back.
Love to all. Please post here too, it's not about me, it's an us thread. I'm just really vocal on it.
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 2, 2015 3:56:05 GMT 8
The Lord is requiring me to love every single person that has hurt me, cursed me, mocked me. Unconditional love for all.
I feel like most who Jesus asks a question of, to follow Him.
He goes right to the very root of it all, asks the hardest thing of us, doesn’t He? And the rewards for obedience, to surrender to His will… they are eternal rewards, never ending joys.
It’s the core of defeating bitterness, it’s the answer to my prayers. Loving them all.
If you felt what I feel, your body wouldn’t have bone or muscle in it, I am that rocked by this.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 6, 2015 2:19:40 GMT 8
Pretty interesting, this total love and forgiveness thing. Pretty impossible.
Searching deep inside, doing the loving thing, irritated today, imbalances at home. Too much insanity here, yeah, the real kind, the special needs kind. I've been helping with it for years, it tires you out.
Anyway, pulling back from negativity, a great sermon this morning from Times Square Church, a thousand questions about the future, but clear direction about the present.
Hows it going... In Christ and Trans? A Christian transsexual.
Its going in a way that makes me determined to be out as a Christian transsexual, becuase we need to stand up for our faith. God made us trans, that'll drive some people crazy, but for me and I believe for all of us its true. So, why did He do that? What is His purpose?
To love and help others. To love the hate right out of this world, and live free and head up heart open.
No small task. Gotta have Christ living inside to do it, using His stregnth and not our own. This is like the early church for us, that opposition is so strong, they overcame it all with love.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 10, 2015 18:06:22 GMT 8
Tons of changes, all good.
How's everyone else doing?
Seems the Lord shook everything up here, work is falling apart, not my fault though.
Time to soul.search here. Lot of junk to ditch.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 14, 2015 17:35:02 GMT 8
Everything changed for me.in how I see what's been going on.
Dunno if I stay or move. Dreams indicate N.Y..
Word of knowledge indicates my job is going down.
Intuition and gut says sell some assets and get out of austerity.
I knocked on doors, old contacts. None open yet.
Trusting. God.
Wife woke up screaming middle of the night. Demonic attack, usually I wake up when her breathing pattern shifts, wake her out of it. Pray. Didn't feel it in the room. Hate it when I do.
Demons that feed on fear.
Doing ok. Feel.clean, and owning my body, sexuality, gender, spirit.
Just living clean. I dropped the f word in therapy a couple times. That was off. Appropriate for expression of feelings, but over the top spirituality. It's a small thing. F isn't a biblical one, but the worst to.say nonetheless, except using His name as a curse word. That's the worst one to do.
Wife wants me to quit therapy and seek Christian stuff.
I think it unwise. Money is driving that. I don't make enough to live on, and they think her arm is broke, that messes her job up.
Still, the Lord is sustaining us. And there are breakthroughs in gender perception that will help me with business presentation comfortably. I know myself better. I feel better.
You do not have to give up who you are to be Christian. See what will help others, and ditch any selfishness or hate. It's hard, but it's our calling as trans to love unconditionally like He does. With responsibility and grace.
Blessings dear ones.
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2015 1:05:58 GMT 8
Poor woman was screaming cause she thought I'd do just like Jenner. Take it to the max.
I just told her we have nonbinaries that don't go that way, and that I'm Nonbinary, so she needs to trust me.
I'm beginning to trust that too.
Poor girl. My fault, mishandled it. Fixing that.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2015 1:04:58 GMT 8
She confronted me on being addicted to the forum, on putting being trans before following Christ. My balance is off.
So, I need it. Still experiencing spiritual warfare, dealing with mind darts or arrows. That and flesh, addiction.
I need more clarity on my motives, so it's time to pull back, reconnect in prayer, get the flesh out of it. That's not gender, it is how I react to my gender though.
Time to see it all from God's eyes. Time for it all to fall into place.
Prayer support is welcome.
God Bless,
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 18, 2015 19:09:58 GMT 8
Saw a scripture in galations about neither man nor woman, slave or free...
I forget where.
It went on to discuss equality in God's eyes, adoption as sons.
I'm not listening to those who condemn me for being a different gender. Scriptures says I am his child.
As are all of us who accept and rely on him and His cross, the way off the planet to paradise.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 2:13:15 GMT 8
Been talking a. Lot with wife. Praying.
The question asked of me, is if I completely give my gender and myself to God,, what am I afraid of losing?
I'll probably lose anything that's of addiction, pride, flesh. Ego. Wanting to be pretty. Noticed. Listened to.
Ya know, at the end of the day, it's just my gender, nothing more.
Just like all of humanity has. Mines just trans.
Some think I would surrender it all and I'd become Cis. But they are not trans.
I think I'd surrender it all and stop fighting myself and accept who I am.
And that is simply me. Nonbinary, living comfortably under the radar if I want, but with a different gender. Not pushing it, just being it.
God Bless. Back to being in sanctuary. Reconnecting, healing. Letting go, to see what stays.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jul 19, 2015 3:41:12 GMT 8
The change in perception has plenty of room for religious wants and needs, but they can shift as well, they should for the better. Shifting your perception is giving up what you don't need, you'll just see what isn't necessary and get rid of it. You keep the things that are the closest to you, the things that matter. You learn to get rid of things from the past that weigh you down on your journey. God is just as important as always, in fact, your perception should become sharper if need be. When you get rid of what weighs you down, the lightness can be unnerving if a lot of it happens at once, but you get used to it. It allows you to do the things you want and need in a much easier fashion. All religions teach that very thing, the words are different, the meaning is the same, so look for them if you need to. But don't do things or doubt a positive shift in perception, it is difficult enough to find in the first place. Don't waste it on ruminating over whether it is right or wrong, you already know what is and isn't, just look, see it. In view of your journey, you have no time for petty thoughts.
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 4:42:18 GMT 8
Yup, all of that.
And the perception shift is profound really.
I know it's right. And awareness jumped.
Yup. Ditching the stuff that's now obsolete.
The clarity is really something.
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 4:59:04 GMT 8
That which fetters,,that which clouds, it's fading. I'm just worried about my job, and that's in God's hands too.
But my gender is clear, and there is no sin in being me. It's my gender, I was born with it.
No she vs he now. All just trinity, and my body and life.
A different gender.
One others have too.
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2015 20:08:47 GMT 8
Woke up feeling whole.
Praying for freedom from fear, pride, the anger is gone, the people pleasing of matrix folk is also gone.
Free.
Had an anxiety attack last night. All work related, N.Y.related fear.
I need to know my capabilities free from fear and gender ruminations.
Gotta go. Limited or no access today.
Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2015 0:25:09 GMT 8
Went To church.
It was great.
I feel better.
Ativans help has helped too.
I feel more hope and faith. It is good.
I am at peace with my gender.
I am unjacked.
God Bless.
Trinity
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