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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 20:15:47 GMT 8
How are you doing today? Is there anything separating you from God, blocking your prayer life? Do you think He is mad at you? Happy with you? On this day today, are your growing towards Jesus, or drifting away? Do you have His fire inside right now? Do you need help lighting a smoldering wick? Whatcha wanna do today to get closer to Him, draw people into Him, by being you? Let your light shine here. Let your pain and darkness out here, so we can help you, on any given day. A thread for the daily needs of us, a way to start the day, draw strength, put on the armor of God and venture out. And pardon the joke but I finally need a new breastplate.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 3, 2015 20:26:53 GMT 8
Because of the responses in here after I felt crushed again in the church, I am drawing closer, feeling better, rekindling the wick that was nearly blown out by their innocent or ignorant misunderstanding of who the LGBT community is. I have yet to finish the research due to time constraints, but to have the scriptures and support systems at my fingertips is priceless.
Instead of reaching for the forum phone this morning I reached for the heart of God in prayer. I saw so many needing intercessory prayer, close people, and people I wanna pray for that are part of our overall forum family.
I also am praying that we can have sanctuary here, to freely discuss and be who we are as Christians, without straying into diatribes on that which is outside of the docrines as recorded in the Bible itself. There is plenty of psychology and new age stuff out there, but I personally need an island where I can practice what I know and understand, denominationally pentacostal Christianity, not legalist, but wired in by the Holy Spirit living in my core.
I am trying to create a safe place for Christian trans. The bitterness out there undermines this, and we need a place that will allow us to stregnthen and grow, without being pulled into the spiritual battles that rage in flesh and spirit for those that are not accepting of this way of life.
There are many other threads where that can be openly debated, challenged, worked through. This is not one of them. This is a place for daily rest after battle. The battle with principalities and powers that use trans against us, in addition to the many other weapons of war that the enemy of our souls who I will not name, he doesnt deserve one, those on top of others, this is a place and time to repel. And the way he uses trans against us is to mislabel it, to try to make selfishness, anger, resentment, fear, all of his deadly tools, misunderstanding, hiding and deception, there are a million ways the enemy can use trans against us, even in the church. Gee, if we are such a threat to the enemy by being saved and trans, we must be special. Trans is not sin. What can be done with it can be, the rules are no different for us than for the cis. There is no sin in gender and gender nonconformity. There is sin in scripture twisting and bitterness though...
Let us extinguish the firey darts of the enemy, the arrows that burn, if we are not well armed, then those with shields, step forward.
Yes, today I feel very much better. I may not have a church, except Times Square Church online, which unfortunately has not been trans accepting but is very spot on about Jesus, but I do have this little church. And all of you are warriors who know how to keep your faith in the face of adversary.
Do you know the great value of that my dears? Loved ones of God? Forgiven and ready to be at the banquet prepared for us, if we finish the race?
Love to all here.
Trin
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Post by Laura J on Mar 4, 2015 0:07:29 GMT 8
My walk with Christ is strong now, probably stronger than its ever been.
In years past, the alcohol I abused twisted my faith, took my hope, left me empty, always trying to fill the void inside with things that never left me with any kind of peace or accomplishment.
Discovering my trans has also added to my ultimate fulfillment, and I am certain beyond a doubt that God not only made me this way for a reason, but delights in my own exploration of myself.
The mixture of no more poison in my veins and my opening up my true trans self has been one of the best and most powerful steps I've ever experienced to bring me closer to Christ in love, and accepting his love for me as a whole perfectly made creation of his hands.
Today my walk is strong, despite health problems, I feel loved and watched over.
In this mixed up world where right is now considered wrong, and wrong seems to be taking over in the world, I could never get through a day now without the peace and timeless wisdom of Christ, the God within me.
Lovely topic, I cried reading it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 4, 2015 21:39:47 GMT 8
In a moment of time, the words came into my mind this morning.
...after all I brought you through, do you really think I would leave you when you transitioned?
He always speaks few words and says so much...
Love to all here...
Blessings
Trinity
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Post by Laura J on Mar 4, 2015 23:54:58 GMT 8
I woke up feeling poorly, and complaining.
I started sinking down into self pity and doubt. I really understand how some who don't know Christ can dig themselves into a hole they haven't the power or strength to get out of. I used to fall into those pits.
I stopped my own thinking, and went into prayer. There is a sanctuary within ones own heart where the troubles of the world can not go, its that place where the living God resides within me. I go there often, gain strength, give my sadness or frustration over a situation over to God to deal with.
I wonder sometimes why I ever choose my own way in doing certain things, when his ways are always so much better, wiser, and long lasting answers to problems.?
I'm doing better now, much more ready for today's tasks, with a much better attitude.
In Christ we can do all things. That's very real, and one of the gifts for accepting him into our lives and hearts.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2015 1:20:49 GMT 8
For those who have trouble with this, please, trigger warning here, don't get triggered. But I need to say this stuff....
Yes I am experiencing spiritual whiplash today, pretty intense, but its all flesh. I am well aware right now of both outside interference from the unseen world, internal conflict that can only be fought scripturally and by recognizing sources, and other serious issues affecting all of us.
We, and we are truth seekers and truth speakers with very high personal standards, every one of us on the forum does that, we are dealing with a stronghold that has crushed our people for millennia upon millennia.
It comes down with prayer, an eye to truth, selflessness, love, understanding, and respect.
Some folks are destroyed by this, due to the manipulation of religion by those with misunderstandings, ignorance, or personal agendas. Some, live to fight another day. The topics are incendiary, because for thousands of years, that which was supposed to heal us, is used to kill us. The distortion, which is one of the most useful and hateful tools of the enemy of our souls, is only destroyed by truth. I call that distortion evil.
This is another tightrope for us all to walk. Hold hands, and hold on.
And don’t underestimate either the enemy of our souls, or the God that brought us to this day.
Above all, if I may be so bold, and it is not my place to say it but it needs saying, please pray for each other. We have gifted minds here, in this forum. To silence those tongues is a great evil. But wisdom is paramount, we must be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.
I am intimidated now. Very much so. And I agree with others, gender has no place in scripture, but when those who use scripture do so to interfere with our gender, it is time to take up the sword of the Spirit and the word revealed to us, and slay the devil behind it. Not the people, but the spiritual forces that brought the planet down, that distort and murder truth within our own Christian religion, that is what we fight against. Not each other, not those outside the faith. And I am speaking only within our own faith, we have no business commenting on others beliefs or needs. Not in any way, shape or form. They need to be free of condemnation from us, and free to find their own ways, their own truths. We are no better and no worse than anyone else, there is no holier than thou, there is no feeling of being less than. If they are drawn to us, to this way of life, they will come, they will ask. And we will then answer.
If I am in error, or speaking from ego, would you please tell me. I do not wish to offend, overstep, or mess up. I also am in my low end THC cycle and that is not exactly good for anxiety levels.
The primary destabilizing force in my life right now is the elements that are using the Bible to cause me to go into a pit of insanity and pain by thinking heaven is barred to me, because I am bisexual transgender. We got the other heavies out. I cant be the only one like this….I am sure many others suffer.
Please, if I am out of bounds here, tell me.
Blessings.
Trinity Satin Joy
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Post by Deleted on Mar 5, 2015 20:46:13 GMT 8
I am hanging in there, unexpectedly, and this little Christian thread is making a big difference, an immediate one in my daily walk.
It has strengthened me personally, I pray it stregthens you too.
How are you doing this morning, are you getting closer to Him, or moving away?
I want to be close to Him. I fear I may anger Him today with my human anger and pride and self will and former bonds to the psychic, but I know He will forgive. I just want to be careful not to let Him down. Thats all. Just be a good example, let Him have control. Nothing more than let His Spirit live inside and get out of His way.
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Post by Laura J on Mar 6, 2015 7:31:52 GMT 8
I've been quite consumed by the world today, not a good day as far as following Christ in my daily life..
I think it was from getting up early, and having a list of appointments and things to do, that both really exhausted me physically, but kept my mind worrying about things that really were not that important..
Even after a couple hours of rest, I still feel distant from my spiritual ties to God.. This isn't anything new, we all have those days, it's just difficult getting back into the mindset and place I want to be.. That I need to be..
I'll probably take more time tonight reading the word, and finding some quiet space here.. I do keep others here in my spiritual thoughts, in prayer. Today hasn't felt as intimate a walk as some days, and I long for those days, they truly are filled with the spirit of God, and the peace and contentment is a sense once felt, is wanted each day, and in all things I do and say.
Peace & God bless.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 8:43:45 GMT 8
In a moment of time, the words came into my mind this morning. ...after all I brought you through, do you really think I would leave you when you transitioned?He always speaks few words and says so much... Love to all here... Blessings Trinity I've known an old Christian trans woman who transitioned in South Carolina and even had SRS back in the late sixties before it was heard of like it is now. Her comment to me about that was, "Jesus paid for my sins and forgives me, God is not doing to dump me forever just because I had my dick cut off" A little straight talk from a crusty old broad, but her point was well taken.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 6, 2015 11:41:11 GMT 8
Yup.
I could share other moments when I cried out in prayer or pain and He was there.
Long day, we bought time for wife, they told her to find a new job but did not execute dismissal papers.
I spent the night discussing mindfulness. And not falling off the edge, she ruminate s like I do.
Not well centered now, listened to the kids music, was good, not the usual drag.
Grace time.
Thanks all.
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Post by Laura J on Mar 7, 2015 6:16:16 GMT 8
My weakness has been keeping me down for 2 days now, I feel it on almost a cellular level. Maybe this has been his way of getting me ready for another weekend, with my wife off, and us hoping to, and needing to do things together.?
I walked down town early this morning, just down old main street, past the old shops I love so much, preserved in 1900 styles for tourists who make a special effort to pass through. The streets were quiet though, so I could reflect and let God move me in heart and mind, as he saw fit. This is where I feel most feminine, on these streets, peering in the storefront windows. For some reason my mind goes back in time there, like walking through a rip in the fabric of time, I feel more like I belong there than anywhere else sometimes. I feel the spirit strong, and often get answers to prayerful questions and needs I have.
I go to my main doctor next week, full blood workup from my visit yesterday to give them a few fresh vials, and next Friday I'll get my six month full update. Thats been in my prayers much of the time lately, just praying I'm not getting worse. Physically improving would be nice, but I know thats not likely, and just an "about the same" wouldn't be bad news at this stage by any means. But 5 hours in bed this afternoon to get back my strength after a 1 hour walk this morning gets monotonous at some point, and I almost wish things would change, even for the worse, as it would push the doctors to actually doing something new, other than maintaining a mediocrity existence month after month.
I felt a peace this morning, and also now, and have unshakable faith and hope, that carry's me along my journey, not knowing where the end will be.
I also lift up those of you here that are suffering and need help, that is the realest way I can touch your lives with mine, something I long to do for each of you. And I know God does touch you, and know you, even if you think its crazy.
Time to get up, and have some coffee, something to eat, and get back into things again. My wife will be home soon, and I want to be my old self for her.
To Trin and wife, so many doors are opened all the time for us, with others closing behind, and with each one God is waiting inside the new one, hand out stretched, inviting us is, and calming our uncertainty and anxiety. I know that whatever happens, it will be blessed, and the right place to be.
Blessings and grace to all.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2015 0:01:17 GMT 8
A good service from times square church on the internet, calming wifey down.
They preached Romans one,,but I get that is about the baths, promiscuity, and much more flesh issues than that too.
Anyway, heading for docs with wife, following Christ, living this out per His word and plan.
God forgive my wrath. Those that hurt her are fools, they know not what they do, and if they do, they will answer to the One that protects us.
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Post by Laura J on Mar 9, 2015 11:17:00 GMT 8
I'm still shaking my head from going to a new church this morning.. It's actually my wifes home church. It's called "New Life" I think.? I was disappointed and still am confused how to think about it.??
It was a really big church, 500 people at least. the Pastor, and the message were all on video, and being streamed to 3-4 different churches at once. It bothered me that people were actually talking to the Pastor in the video like it was a real person standing there, it just felt odd.?
I must be getting old... I actually expected to see the Pastor in person, but instead, an empty stage with giant video display..
This will take some prayer, some time, and insight to figure out how to handle this with my wife.?
But blessings to us all here, you all are always in my prayers regardless what my day holds..
Grace means everything..
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Post by Whisper on Mar 9, 2015 15:19:17 GMT 8
Everyone's bad experiences with churches, reaffirms my decision to stay away from them, although the real driving force came from personal experiences. In my mind, Jesus wouldn't probably go to them. If he did, he would be angry about the complexity and cultures, as well as prejudice and intolerance that plague many. I could imagine him sitting in the back, whispering to me, "lets get out of here." We head to the nearest park or beach and talk to each other personally.
Sometimes I watch that GLBT church in Atlanta, since they have internet service streaming, which have a Pentecostal flare. I watch it maybe 4 times a year.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 9, 2015 19:17:41 GMT 8
We Jack into times square church Sunday mornings, they are excellent. They unfortunately do not validate gay stuff, but they also do not focus on it much. It's great, formally pastored by Dave Wilkerson, who was our pastor there in ny for about ten years, now it's Carter conlon. My posts and everything else is heavily influenced by that church, it's where getting ...wired in....s from, my words, but their teaching based on the indwelling Holy Spirit. Www.tscnyc.orgNot for everyone though, some would be offended. I'll stay with online services now. Had good experience with tiny churches too, but it depends on their pastor. Better this morning, adapting to having to be on a bare bones budget. And very angry.
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