How many of you are Out as Non binaries?

[Petri]

Apr 13, 2018 21:25:04 GMT 8 Becky said:

Apr 13, 2018 20:51:06 GMT 8 Petri said:

I came out to my mom today and she was like "yeah cool but I won't use your preferred name or the right pronouns". She doesn't get it at all but I'll keep talking to her, I think she might come round. She just thinks it's strange and asks things like; if you don't know what you are how can you be married? how can you have sex? what does your husband think about you removing your breasts?

Petri, it was incredibly brave of you to come out to your mother.  If I could, I would give a thumbs up for your bravery and a thumbs down for your Mom's comments.  Her response is exactly what I would expect if I came out to my own parents.  Older generations have a very binary way of thinking about most things, including gender.

I hope that this at least is a weight off of your shoulders.

I was super nervous about telling her, but she wasn't all that surprised. While we've been spending time together yesterday and today she has actually tried to use my preferred name. Don't know if she'll ever learn the pronoun. It feels good that she knows even though she doesn't understand.

[Petri]

Apr 13, 2018 23:29:55 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Apr 13, 2018 20:51:06 GMT 8 Petri said:

I came out to my mom today and she was like "yeah cool but I won't use your preferred name or the right pronouns". She doesn't get it at all but I'll keep talking to her, I think she might come round. She just thinks it's strange and asks things like; if you don't know what you are how can you be married? how can you have sex? what does your husband think about you removing your breasts?

Not a cool response from her.

Shot some fear darts at you, the marriage stuff feels way out of bounds.

I grew a pair, know who I am, my wife uses he pronouns on me but we both know I am nonbinary she.   And I sleep in her arms.

Don't take the fear darts, nor the frankly rude and disrespectful name and pronoun thing to heart.

My loved ones dont do my trans name nor my yrans pronouns.  It doesnt bother me.

Good for you for being so stron and well centered.

Yeah my thoughts exactly. Stay out of my sex life mom. I'll handle it. It's hard when you open up to someone and they start to question things that really doesn't have anything to do with the thing you just told them.. She did start to use my preferred name though! Even if it's a struggle, and I have to remind her, it's a start.

[Petri]

I told my sister today. She took it really well, she's a worrier just like me so when I said that there was something I wanted to tell her, she got really anxious something bad had happened. So I think she got kinda relieved when it was just "Hi Im non binary". Just like my mom she had trouble accepting me wanting to be called Petri, and they/them. But she wasn't negative or anything, mostly just happy I told her. She said she was gonna start talking to her boyfriend about it (he is an absolute HORROR to talk to if it's something he questions. Convincing him of something is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.) I'd rather she did it.

(And Im proud I actually TOLD her! Face to face! Didn't write it down or anything ;D)

[Becky]

Apr 23, 2018 2:03:43 GMT 8 Petri said:

I told my sister today. She took it really well, she's a worrier just like me so when I said that there was something I wanted to tell her, she got really anxious something bad had happened. So I think she got kinda relieved when it was just "Hi Im non binary". Just like my mom she had trouble accepting me wanting to be called Petri, and they/them. But she wasn't negative or anything, mostly just happy I told her. She said she was gonna start talking to her boyfriend about it (he is an absolute HORROR to talk to if it's something he questions. Convincing him of something is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.) I'd rather she did it.

(And Im proud I actually TOLD her! Face to face! Didn't write it down or anything ;D)

Petri, you are AMAZING!  Good for you.

I am planning to come out to my sister first.  She and I are really close, and she has the most open mind.

[Petri]

Apr 23, 2018 2:41:27 GMT 8 Becky said:

Apr 23, 2018 2:03:43 GMT 8 Petri said:

I told my sister today. She took it really well, she's a worrier just like me so when I said that there was something I wanted to tell her, she got really anxious something bad had happened. So I think she got kinda relieved when it was just "Hi Im non binary". Just like my mom she had trouble accepting me wanting to be called Petri, and they/them. But she wasn't negative or anything, mostly just happy I told her. She said she was gonna start talking to her boyfriend about it (he is an absolute HORROR to talk to if it's something he questions. Convincing him of something is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.) I'd rather she did it.

(And Im proud I actually TOLD her! Face to face! Didn't write it down or anything ;D)

Petri, you are AMAZING!  Good for you.

I am planning to come out to my sister first.  She and I are really close, and she has the most open mind.

THANK YOU! And good luck<3

[Von]

Apr 23, 2018 2:03:43 GMT 8 Petri said:

I told my sister today. She took it really well, she's a worrier just like me so when I said that there was something I wanted to tell her, she got really anxious something bad had happened. So I think she got kinda relieved when it was just "Hi Im non binary". Just like my mom she had trouble accepting me wanting to be called Petri, and they/them. But she wasn't negative or anything, mostly just happy I told her. She said she was gonna start talking to her boyfriend about it (he is an absolute HORROR to talk to if it's something he questions. Convincing him of something is like trying to squeeze blood from a stone.) I'd rather she did it.

(And Im proud I actually TOLD her! Face to face! Didn't write it down or anything ;D)

Coming out to family can be so hard!  Like, I knew my family wouldn't turn on me or anything, they're not that way.  But I expected some hefty criticism and scoffing at my new identification.  They took it as smoothly as I could have hoped.  My dad doesn't really understand, but he was the first one to readily call me Von.  :3  "I don't care what you're called, you're still the only child I have that still loves me.  And I love you no matter what."
I think the last person i told was his sister, my Aunt Rose.  She's more a mother figure to me, since my own mom was a terror (and would never have approved of me now).  I told her last year on a stopover at her house on our way to our vacation spot.  She just got really teary and hugged me and said it was ok.  I dunno what was going through her head, but I'm glad I still have her on my side.   

Congrats on a positive conversation!

[timelessexplorer]

I am pretty much out as non-binary, but I am older and have so little to loose. I have always enjoyed mixing gender clothing and decoration and honestly, as a University Professor, no one seemed to care. I would love to be even more daring but that too may happen one of these days. 

[Avery]

I don't know if it's the high of starting hormones and having a successful consult for top surgery, or the lingering pain of knowing my grandfather could die any day without knowing my name, or the overwhelming homesickness for my beautiful island province that I've been feeling since passing the one year mark of not being home. Whatever it is, I finally wrote the letter to my parents and siblings that I have been thinking about for months. I texted my brother, who already knows, and he said my folks are out to dinner so I will send the letter in a couple of hours if I don't chicken out.

They are the last to know, once they know I will finally change my answer on this thread to "completely out"

Wish me luck.

[Becky]

May 5, 2018 4:08:23 GMT 8 Avery said:

I don't know if it's the high of starting hormones and having a successful consult for top surgery, or the lingering pain of knowing my grandfather could die any day without knowing my name, or the overwhelming homesickness for my beautiful island province that I've been feeling since passing the one year mark of not being home. Whatever it is, I finally wrote the letter to my parents and siblings that I have been thinking about for months. I texted my brother, who already knows, and he said my folks are out to dinner so I will send the letter in a couple of hours if I don't chicken out.

They are the last to know, once they know I will finally change my answer on this thread to "completely out"

Wish me luck.

Avery, good luck!  You are so brave!

[Avery]

Haha my queasy stomach would disagree with you!

[~k×tten]

I voted no, but Im hoping to change that in few days ^.^ because I am gonna come out to family real soon if I dont change my mind~

I had a very short talk with them about it when I first found out, but they didnt get head or tail of what I was trying to tell them, I was so scared I was beating around the bush XD so Im gonna do it properly now ^.^

[webbs]

I'm fully out, but it's very new to me. For 9 years, I'd have selected "somewhat"!

[Leena]

I guess I'm somewhat out though my family doesn't know I'm transitioning. I came out as trans as a kid and they weren't accepting. I've tried a few times since then but they still weren't. I'm going to have to either the next time I see them in person, if not before because the changes are pretty noticeable.

[Iona]

I went with 'somewhat' about a year and a half ago... and it's still the case. Slowly coming out to more friends, and thinking about working on the family too.

[akaslendy]

i think i'm a bit of a unique person in terms of how i handle myself? for me, if people ask me what i identify as then i tell them but otherwise, personally, i don't think it's any of their business. in the same way it's none of my business to ask someone what's between their legs/what they identify as. if i get it wrong when addressing them, of course i want to be corrected and i'll change how i speak to them but otherwise - i don't really care. you are who you are and i'm me.

so, if a server calls me 'he' or 'she' i don't correct them. because sometimes i wear a baggy sweatshirt out and it's hard to tell if i'm binding or not, so people assume i'm a she. sometimes i'm wearing a polo and my binder, so i get called a he.

my family knows and again, i'm a very logical and unique person in this case i think? maybe it has to do with my autism - i think that's a lot of the reasons why i react the way i do vs other people. when i told my parents it was a very logical decision to me. i don't want boobs but i don't want a penis. i don't want to be a man but i would love to get rid of my uterus and boobs. there are things from both genders i would like - facial hair? yeah. i'd like that. but i'd never grow hair under my arms.

so i don't fit in the boxes of male or female. so, the best label for me is non-binary and when i told my parents that they were okay with it. they are logical like i am. they gave me a very gender neutral name luckily, so i don't need to change that. i'm also very very laid back about pronouns. i don't ask my family whose called me she/her for all 20+ years of my life to start calling me they/them. which, my mom has said she would try if it truly mattered to me. but in my head? it almost seems unfair when it doesn't bother me. my mom has told all of her friends about me and they know i prefer they/them, my friends online know and they switched to they/them.

it's an interesting thing to me because i am so different/logical about things. but that's just me.