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Post by Von on Mar 27, 2018 2:08:55 GMT 8
I am. I wear my pride things openly, which mean nothing to anyone who doesn't know what they are, but puts up a "HEY I'M WITH YOU" to anyone else IDing as such. My family and my boyfriend's family knows. I came out on Facebook, and eventually followed up with family like my father and Aunt who don't use much internet.
I'm glad my mother isn't alive for this, she would have been blatantly abusive to me, the way she talked about other trans folks. I'm contemplating going to a coffee-shop gathering open for LGBTQA+ peeps in April.
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Petri
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Gender: Non-Binary
Presentation: Female
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Pansexual
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Post by Petri on Mar 27, 2018 13:15:55 GMT 8
I am. I wear my pride things openly, which mean nothing to anyone who doesn't know what they are, but puts up a "HEY I'M WITH YOU" to anyone else IDing as such. My family and my boyfriend's family knows. I came out on Facebook, and eventually followed up with family like my father and Aunt who don't use much internet. I'm glad my mother isn't alive for this, she would have been blatantly abusive to me, the way she talked about other trans folks. I'm contemplating going to a coffee-shop gathering open for LGBTQA+ peeps in April. Omg I get so happy when I see someone wearing the pride colours! Last time I went swimming the personnel there had a little pride flag on their t-shirts and it made my day. On a brave day I can don my pride bandana and my pan bracelet. I want to make a non-binary bracelet also ^^ The other day my partner said that it isn't a question of IF Im going to come out, it's a question of WHEN, and that made me glad because I want to but worry that I never will. My father passed a couple years ago and sometimes it's a relief because he would not have accepted me as a non-binary, he'd probably just ignore it all together.
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Post by Von on Mar 28, 2018 0:23:55 GMT 8
Omg I get so happy when I see someone wearing the pride colours! Last time I went swimming the personnel there had a little pride flag on their t-shirts and it made my day. On a brave day I can don my pride bandana and my pan bracelet. I want to make a non-binary bracelet also ^^ The other day my partner said that it isn't a question of IF Im going to come out, it's a question of WHEN, and that made me glad because I want to but worry that I never will. My father passed a couple years ago and sometimes it's a relief because he would not have accepted me as a non-binary, he'd probably just ignore it all together. Same on the parents. My mom passed before I told anyone, and I'm glad it happened that way. She was abusive, and the words she used to refer to the LGBTQIA+ community? Repugnant. She would not have accepted me. Or seemed to do so to my face, then talk shit about me when I was gone. My dad is confused, but supportive! He doesn't care just so long as I call every now and then to chat, because he's lonely. ;___;
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Post by Becky on Apr 9, 2018 10:42:25 GMT 8
Well, folks, I may now be out to my wife...sort of.
On Friday, we were discussing her going on a girl's night out with some friends. "You should come, too," she said, "You're mostly a girl."
Totally floored, I tried to come up with something to say. What came out was "No, I can stay home. It's a girl's night out, not a girl and non-binary night out."
As soon as I said it, I realized that I have never used the term non-binary with my wife. Who knows? She may have needed to google it later in private.
I need to do some thinking. It probably would be best for me to come out fully and clearly, especially since she may appreciate hearing that I'm not planning to transition any time soon.
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Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
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Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Apr 9, 2018 10:45:51 GMT 8
Well, folks, I may now be out to my wife...sort of. On Friday, we were discussing her going on a girl's night out with some friends. "You should come, too," she said, "You're mostly a girl." Totally floored, I tried to come up with something to say. What came out was "No, I can stay home. It's a girl's night out, not a girl and non-binary night out." As soon as I said it, I realized that I have never used the term non-binary with my wife. Who knows? She may have needed to google it later in private. I need to do some thinking. It probably would be best for me to come out fully and clearly, especially since she may appreciate hearing that I'm not planning to transition any time soon. I always emphasize to my wife that I am a blend. It takes her fear of being a lesbian out of it. Communication is so huge. That was big, good for you!
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Post by EchelonHunt on Apr 9, 2018 15:20:52 GMT 8
I get to change my Somewhat (I'm out to people I trust only) to Yes since I came out on FB on TDOV, my mum is on my friends list so she would've seen it.
Still have mixed feelings on coming out, it's liberating on one hand, on the other, it feels like I'm more vulnerable than before.
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Post by Becky on Apr 9, 2018 19:34:32 GMT 8
Congratulations, Jacey! This is a big, brave step. I have to imagine there's a tremendous weight off of your shoulders.
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Post by Von on Apr 9, 2018 22:18:24 GMT 8
Well, folks, I may now be out to my wife...sort of. On Friday, we were discussing her going on a girl's night out with some friends. "You should come, too," she said, "You're mostly a girl." Totally floored, I tried to come up with something to say. What came out was "No, I can stay home. It's a girl's night out, not a girl and non-binary night out." As soon as I said it, I realized that I have never used the term non-binary with my wife. Who knows? She may have needed to google it later in private. I need to do some thinking. It probably would be best for me to come out fully and clearly, especially since she may appreciate hearing that I'm not planning to transition any time soon. Well, she seems to be on.. some sort of track. Maybe not the right one, but closer! But I would sit her down and talk frankly about your feelings. She's your wife - there shouldn't be too many secrets. If there are, can she be trusted with your heart? You may find that even if she doesn't quite understand Nonbinary, there may be some relief that you still retain some of the traits she married you for. You're still you at the end of the day. The only thing that needs to change is her perspective on it. Here's to hoping your love takes it well. Good luck, and lots of love.
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Post by Becky on Apr 10, 2018 0:35:29 GMT 8
You may find that even if she doesn't quite understand Nonbinary, there may be some relief that you still retain some of the traits she married you for. You're still you at the end of the day. The only thing that needs to change is her perspective on it. I'm so happy to hear you say this. This is the hope that I'm hanging on to at this point. We have had a wonderful, stable marriage for 15 years. It's clear that she likes my sensitivity and ability to empathize, my cooking and sewing, and even my makeup tips from time to time. That is all part of the feminine me (the Rebecca, if you will), and it's a big part of who I am. I think we're getting close to the real deal. Time to get a babysitter for the little one and take her out to dinner! (GULP)
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Sept 28, 2015 3:08:16 GMT 8
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soullessdhampir
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trans woman
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Post by Valerie on Apr 10, 2018 0:52:20 GMT 8
Kinda, yes & no! I’m pretty sure I’ve commented on this before? But whatevs things change, and I mean let’s face it I’ve changed quite a bit in almost a year now!
So far only people I’m actually out to as nonbinary is my best friend, boyfriend, boyfriend’s family (although I think they think I’m a trans girl, and not a nonbinary girl. Which is fine hah), and well online hah!
I’m out to my family about being on hrt, and well since I changed my name on fb, I’m pretty sure that can put two & two together. However, I haven’t really said anything to anyone in my immediate family about my preferred pronouns, or call me Valerie. I just chicken out, and don’t really want to put them through getting use to referring me differently. I know I should at some point. My dad asked if I wanted to be called Valerie, now, and I honestly chickened out & just said I really don’t care either way. Which is also true I really don’t care that much, but it would be nice to not being called he/or hear my birth name. I’ll wait until I get the courage to speak up. My little brother calls me sis. Valerie, and refers me as they/them or she/her so that’s cool haha
As for being out as transgender?? Well I’m out to family, and pretty much live openly, of course bc it’s clearly obvs since I have boobs coming in now, and starting to look curvy. So based on that I’m sure anyone could tell I’m a trans by the obviousness. Although sometimes I feel kinda meeehhh about being obvious trans & people could clock me, but I also could careless as well.
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Petri
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Gender: Non-Binary
Presentation: Female
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Pansexual
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Post by Petri on Apr 13, 2018 0:34:22 GMT 8
I've just finished writing a coming out-letter to my mom. We are going on a little trip tomorrow and I will give it to her so she can read it. Kind of nervous, wish me luck!
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Moira
New Member
Posts: 41
Gender: Genderqueer
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Pansexual
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Post by Moira on Apr 13, 2018 1:44:04 GMT 8
I'm out to my girlfriend and some good friends, as well as a few random lgbt+ people I have met. I'm not actively hiding it, but I'm not in any hurry to announce it to the world.
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Petri
Junior Member
Posts: 92
Gender: Non-Binary
Presentation: Female
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Pansexual
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Female
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Pansexual
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Post by Petri on Apr 13, 2018 20:51:06 GMT 8
I came out to my mom today and she was like "yeah cool but I won't use your preferred name or the right pronouns". She doesn't get it at all but I'll keep talking to her, I think she might come round. She just thinks it's strange and asks things like; if you don't know what you are how can you be married? how can you have sex? what does your husband think about you removing your breasts?
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Post by Becky on Apr 13, 2018 21:25:04 GMT 8
I came out to my mom today and she was like "yeah cool but I won't use your preferred name or the right pronouns". She doesn't get it at all but I'll keep talking to her, I think she might come round. She just thinks it's strange and asks things like; if you don't know what you are how can you be married? how can you have sex? what does your husband think about you removing your breasts? Petri, it was incredibly brave of you to come out to your mother. If I could, I would give a thumbs up for your bravery and a thumbs down for your Mom's comments. Her response is exactly what I would expect if I came out to my own parents. Older generations have a very binary way of thinking about most things, including gender. I hope that this at least is a weight off of your shoulders.
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Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
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Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Apr 13, 2018 23:29:55 GMT 8
I came out to my mom today and she was like "yeah cool but I won't use your preferred name or the right pronouns". She doesn't get it at all but I'll keep talking to her, I think she might come round. She just thinks it's strange and asks things like; if you don't know what you are how can you be married? how can you have sex? what does your husband think about you removing your breasts? Not a cool response from her. Shot some fear darts at you, the marriage stuff feels way out of bounds. I grew a pair, know who I am, my wife uses he pronouns on me but we both know I am nonbinary she. And I sleep in her arms. Don't take the fear darts, nor the frankly rude and disrespectful name and pronoun thing to heart. My loved ones dont do my trans name nor my yrans pronouns. It doesnt bother me. Good for you for being so stron and well centered.
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