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Post by Deleted on Sept 29, 2015 6:45:13 GMT 8
Yup its a darn good thread. And Jayce you didnt say nothin wrong. You exposed something important, that we react to being pushed, harden, tribe up and try to protect our feelings. Cause getting squashed by people that think their better than you hurts and when they do it we think they are less than because frankly their attitude sucks and kills people. Agents of the matrix.
And folk have come and been turned off by what they think is us vs them attitude in us. Put there by...a construct. Yup. A virus. But once identified it can be rooted out by simply invalidating it as somebody elses deal, unthreatening to us and just there deal. Hey have at it, enjoy it, but dont make me live your truth cause i want mine. Speaking to no one one the boards right now.
But if their construct threatens and causes fear...look out. Evil can play. Fear drives it to enforcement, or attacking it. Fear causes us to hide in a construct we hate so something wont be taken away from us, and in so doing, much that matters is taken away.
I was not so lucky with acceptance. Youve been picking up the shredded pieces of me for several years now. So much that the wounds have healed, but id love to create havok on those that did this to me.
Because that male bullshit consruct...to me not to those for whom it is truth...crap i think they are attractive and have to keep my legs together...but that construct was forced on me and i didnt fit it and desperately wanted to and i split and then you unsplit me. Not did split but gender wreckage instead where parts of self fight for control. That was all birthed in the matrix.
Nope im no girl and have lots of social guy but my gender is something new and fun and glorious. Personally i have a new self image and its freed from all or nothing thinking, allowing me to live in a new construct based on the truth of how i feel and what i like and who i am. Not who i was told i had to be or should be orvwould inevitably transition to.
Im realizing i can be my own construct.
So can you.
We can be unplugged, jack in, and enjoy all the matrix has for us. Flying the spectrum, until we forget we jacked in. Then we need to return to core and look at the matrix from that perspective, use what is good and real and free, understand there are those who cannot be unplugged, and walk safely among them all knowing our oelwn truth and celebrating our freedom. In heels, in leather, in muscle or in satin, its all ours for the taking.
And thats not sin for love and truth and spirit are the tools that set us free. Real is still real, but laws that are not of truth and contrary to that intended to set us free from suffering and bondage and pain and sin need to be cast aside in favor of the unconditional love once shown us, that was hidden in constructs of those who may not understand.
If they did they would rejoice in the ending of hate and the freeing of bound souls, those chained to a matrix of rules we were to be freed from, in favor of forgiveness and unconditional love and a unity of ourselves with the one who made us trans and grieves of the brutality of those who do not understand the heart he has for us.
I got all religous on you. But i really believe this.
Trinity.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 29, 2015 11:04:05 GMT 8
'If we see fit',.. 'I'm realizing I can be my own construct'... Yes, we use constructs all the time, we make them all the time. The ability to see them for what they are, gives you a better understanding of the ones you want to use and the ability to make the ones you want. At the same time, you are able to see the ones that are harming you or others. You have an opportunity to change them sometimes, but mostly you can see them for what they are. You can use them or ignore them, society sometimes demands that the majority rules, and sometimes that's only fair, but that's agreed on before hand, or should be understood to be. But the biggest group and the constructs they like to use are theirs, others don't have to follow them, use them. The ones who shout the loudest are just that, the largest groups and the groups that use a construct in common can't always dictate the constructs of others. When you see their constructs for what they are, you can be the judge of whether you want to use them, be in agreement with them, or not.
Is gender a construct? Yes. Is your birth sex? No. The word gender is often used interchangeably with sex, but one is a construct and the other is a real thing. The things you can touch, pick up, drop, run your fingers across and feel the texture, those fingers themselves, the breeze blowing past you, all of that is real. Look around you, the things that humans build are real and are made out of real things. Other living things are real as well... But look at what we use real things for, why we use them the way we do, we construct things, we do it for a reason, for reasons... There are reasons why we talk to each other, especially in groups, we have tribes, communities, metropolitan areas jammed packed with people. The reasons are put together in the discussions we have as groups, etc., we make constructs out of them, we're good at it, really good. But sometimes they are so good, they become a real thing to some people, some groups, etc... They become more than just an agreement of opinions of what to build, what to do, how to do, where to do,.. They take on something of their own and become real things for some, when they're not, they are just a construct, maybe an important one, but one just the same. We do this with our selves, we make our own as a way to live our lives, we use them as a tool to help guide us and more. We share them all the time and get together in those groups and such and because we know this construct, because we use it all the time as well, it can seem to be a real thing.
It's in looking at those constructs, dissecting them maybe, just knowing what they are and where they come from, that's a part of the ability to know what is real and what isn't. The question of whether gender is a construct or not, just taking the time to look at it becomes the way we then see it for what it is, and if we want to use it. We use it all the time, we use it as if it is real. We do this with a lot of things. The problems with that is when some refuse to see them for what they are and also declare just what they are and how we can use them.
Someone brought up their way of dealing with gender, is to ignore it as much as possible, not both, not neither, but refusing to use it as if it is a real thing. We use constructs to make a lot of very real things, and we make them because we have, or use, an agreement about them. Some people use gender as a real thing, they think of the construct as real and that it is the same thing as a persons sex, which works for a lot of people. It's when that doesn't work, then we see it as not real, because we can know the truth, that sex is real, gender is a construct. Trans can be defined as a space, it can use a real space to do that, like using transatlantic. It can also be used for a space that isn't a real thing. Like using it with gender, transgender. See where this is going? Some people believe that gender is a real thing, they confuse it with sex, which is real. When we use transsexual, it is referring to an imaginary space between sex's, transition across it and it's a part of some transgender peoples gender, their construct. But there are people who see gender, or hear it, and and claim it to be a real thing and they even make up rules that they think are real as well. Gender is the made up thing that we use all the time, we gender things, real things, clothes, bathrooms. We gender things that are just constructs as well, personalities are gendered all the time... they're combinations of mostly self constructs. The list of things that are real is huge, so is the list of things we gender that are just constructs of society. In some ways, that makes life harder for transgender people, because society use's it for some real things. And a lot of people tend to think of gender as a real thing and those rules for it are real as well. The construct becomes our problem, we ask about it, we talk about it, we try to explain it as we see it, but the description doesn't work for those who think of it as a real thing. The question of whether it is a construct, the answer is that it is.
We define things that aren't real sometimes by categorizing them as, not sex, but gender. 'That's such a (insert manly or womanly) thing to do'. There's so many ways we all use gender to help describe other constructs, the way it's used as a construct for real things is the same as other constructs. I can see why gender can be a real thing for people that using it interchangeably, that doesn't affect them, and they don't want us changing that real thing into a construct. That means the rules have changed as well, and that can affect them, it inflicts the 'what if' questions on them. What if it changes them as well? What if it changes this or that, they draw the lines at places like public bathrooms, how dare we change the fricken rules, they want none of that... Not all those people, but some are a lot louder than the ones who don't care. They know it as a construct, probably not directly, but if explained to them this way, sure, they can agree with that, it doesn't change them at all.
Is gender a social construct? I think it is. I think sex is a real thing, and it can be wrong as well, it's not as reliable of an indicator for the social construct of gender as some would like it to be, or think it is. I think I referred to myself as a gender anarchist somewhere. Yep, lets get rid of the funny looking indicators on public bathrooms and install single stalls in all of them. Yep, that'll bring down civilization as we know it, a breakdown of society, for sure. Anarchy everywhere..., (*sarcasm) A gender free society? Nah, it can be useful, even for NB's. We like to use it in reference to things, the differences between us and them, lol. What if we didn't have it? Would everyone then become NB as well? I doubt it.
It's useful as a construct, but not as a real thing, with 'real' rules. As a construct, we can change the definitions, turning it from that 'real' thing and back into a construct and society will remain as safe as ever. I think it's important to know that distinction, that it's not a real thing and that it is a construct.
Now I have to think about how sexuality fits into this, is LGB a social construct? If it's not, what makes it real? As a societal world, most everything has some sort of construct to it or can be used with it, even if it is a real thing. Recognizing the difference and knowing what constructs are might seem like a hard thing to get through, it reminds me of that graffiti that says 'question everything'. And that someone always writes 'why?' after it. Just ask yourself if it really is real or not. Seems like I have always done that quite a bit growing up and growing old. Might be because I questioned those gender rules until I questioned gender itself. Is gender real or is gender a construct? It might seem like a fine line, but so is the difference between fishing and standing on the shore and thinking you're really fishing... Ativan
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Post by Ayla on Sept 29, 2015 11:52:07 GMT 8
Interesting twists and turns on this thread. Like most, I think that gender is, in general, socially constructed. Certainly gender is typically described in social terms. Gendered attributes and qualities seem socially constructed. Gendered presentation also seems socially constructed. However, like Foxglove, I have a harder time seeing 'gender identity' as a social construct if it is in essence 'self identity'. At the point that it becomes your identity, is it a construct if it is similar to, opposed to, or shares similarities with social categories or constructs; or is it just your sense of self and is therefore in essence, the product of your experience of social, psychological and biological factors?
My sense is that it is the latter. In this I am aligned with the those proponents and researchers in Affect Regulation. I find their view/paradigm most amenable to an understanding of dysphoria and the power of hormonal, psychological and social therapies in dealing with this. For want of a better word I refer to my dysphoria as gender dysphoria when 'self dysphoria' is perhaps a more accurate term. Nevertheless my dysphoria is real and dealing with this has led me to understand gender identity as more than a social construct.
Am I missing something? I have made the same point in discussions with leading feminist Professors and they have yet to produce a satisfactory response which reflects my lived experience, dysphoria and the impact/need of/for low dose hrt.
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by EchelonHunt on Sept 29, 2015 17:21:56 GMT 8
In my opinion, the invisible rules and expectations surrounding sex and gender are social constructs.
Gender stereotypes, gender roles, gendered clothes, stereotypical activities, media such as advertisements (sports at men, beauty at women), the expectation to fulfill one's "man/woman" role of being a "father/mother", to have a family, children... etc.
Biological sex, sexual attraction and gender identity are not social constructs.
Biological sex is self-explanatory. Society doesn't construct penis, testicles, vagina, boobs, ovaries or the hormones involved.
Sexual attraction, who you are attracted to and fall in love with... this cannot be constructed by society. Roles and expectations regarding sex and sexuality (including gender roles "Men must be dominant/women must be submissive"), yes but the feelings aren't generated by society. They are innate or they may be fluid. Just because you cannot touch love or attraction physically like gender identity, it doesn't make it any less real.
If sexual attraction was a social construct, it would be easy to convert gay men or lesbians into a straight men/women with those barbaric conversion therapy.
Wouldn't that open a new can of worms? Is love a social construct? What if empathy is a social construct? What if being human is a social construct?
Gender identity is innate or it can be fluid, there is evidence to suggest the hormones babies get in the womb can affect their development. Environment may play a factor in developing a child but if gender identity was a social construct, many transgender children would slide into their expected roles as men/women, instead of insisting they are who they truly feel they are.
One example: A boy had a botched circumcision, the doctor changed his genitals into a female's and he was brought up as a girl, hormones and all. He was not told of the surgery he had as a child yet somehow, he instinctively knew without a doubt that he was male and began to seek transitioning. If gender identity was a social construct, he would have been brought up as a girl without questioning it.
Another example: An artist creates artwork, you can touch the artwork and feel the texture and effort put into the canvas. The artwork is objective reality. What if someone came along and told them that their creativity, what makes them create their artwork to the world in the first place... a social construct because creativity is not something you can physically touch? It doesn't make the creativity any less real, society didn't construct creativity within that person.
Aisla, I don't think there will ever be a satisfactory response because it's all semantics and theory. There's no concrete answers, just conflicting opinions.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2015 0:28:32 GMT 8
But there is dysphoria and thats not a construct.
I cant think my way out of what i like and physically need. And the body craves being sh'e if you will. Thats my sex and sexuality. And tied up right in it is to be eye candy behind closed doors.
No construct? And trouble when its screwed with or threatened.
Same as e, cant live without it.
But self perception does change based on agreement or disagreement with consyructs.
Now these can be manipulated a bit. Lokked at different ways, expressed diff ways.
Eh, no time to write. More when able.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 30, 2015 2:24:48 GMT 8
I don't mean it to sound like conflicting opinions or anything else, it's my perceptions, nothing more. I've spent an abnormal amount of time thinking about what is real and what it is if it isn't, because it's usually something right there, up front. Woke up one day and had no idea who I was, but certain things stuck and others didn't. Over time, this progress's into some very different things, not just gender. If fact gender is lower of the list of things, to be honest. But much of the discussions I've had circled around it, without addressing it, leaving it as a could be, might be, probably is, what if it isn't... These discussions center on things that I end up questioning with my psychologists and therapists, but it circles around gender, that's their thing. The discussions refer to it, and sometimes are the question to begin with, but usually run off into other things that can be used as examples.
It's a real thing if you think it is. Can't take that away from anyone, it's theirs, not mine to say. But I have had plenty of times that real things suddenly changed with a thought into a construct, with the construct becoming what is real. Confusing to have that happen, at least it is for me. Totally screws with perceptions of more than just that one thing, everything is to interrelated, usually. It goes the other way as well, so it really comes down to the perspective that it's coming from or is in. I have lots of personal constructs that I know they are, but I treat them as real, because there simply isn't anything around to fit into them that could be real. I have to wonder if they really are real or not, take them apart and put them back together and often times the result is the same.
In a couple hours, I'll be sitting down with my therapist. Last week walking out the door, I asked her how I'm doing, and she smiled and laughed a little. She says I'm complicated and it's interesting to find out why. I asked if she meant my reality or my reality as she see's it, understands it. So maybe this afternoon or evening I'll have a different perspective about all of this, maybe not, maybe she will, lol. We'll just have to see. She surprise's me all the time, but I rock her back in her chair at times as well. It's an interesting relationship, it's not 'just your everyday' therapy sessions.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 30, 2015 3:03:59 GMT 8
Personally, I don't think gender is a social construct. I think gender being tied with sexual characteristics though is a big social construct. If you have a vagina you are a woman and if you have a penis you are a man. Well I have a penis and in no way am I man. The stuff I like is not a steroetype for female it is just the stuff I like. It could be called stereotypical for a female but screw society. Society isn't what I base my likes and dislikes off of. I base them off of what I actually like and don't like. Yes I may be a stereotypical female but I am not a physical female. I like cooking, I love fashion and beauty and so on. This is something that was deep within me. Hell I couldn't even fake liking sports and can't even play football without getting my ass kicked. I really don't think that I am stereotypical but I like what I like and it isn't from social conditioning. It is from embracing what I like regardless. So I like to cook. I like guys and girls but lean toward guys. I am scared of storms and would rather be comfroted during one than having to comfort. The older I get the more my attraction is moving exclusively toward men. Mainly because I am getting so tired of having to pose as a man. This isn't a result of society but something that is deeper within me and how I turly feel and what I like. I guess I could be called stereotypical but for those that know me it isn't from society because I hate society and the pressure they put on people to be what it expects them to be. So am I stereotypical? Probably so. I do things with my BF that I have no desire to do like fishing. Going to games when he gets tickets. Hell I'm with him and what is better than that? But I would rather stay at home with a bottle of wine and a good book. So yeah. I am stereotypical. I don't mean to be but it is just who I am and what I like to do. I would still love to see a free gender society where no matter what gender you identify as, even both, you are accepted as such. To me gender perception tied to sexual characteristics are the social constructs. Gender is something way deeper and is less cut and dried. Look at Danika Patrick. She races on the Nascar circuit. That isn't my thing though. I would rather sit home and paint my nails, go shopping and take bubble baths and be a homemaker right now. She likes what she does and I like what I do. She is empowered but so am I. I really don;t feel like a stereotype I just feel like me. PS I really hate the word stereotype. So what type of stereo, Kentwood, GM Dleco, or many others? I'm just me. I am not a stereotype. I may be stereotypical but believe me it comes from somewher deeper inside me than whaterver society could ever penetrate and pervert inside of me. This is a good thread though. So I could be called a stereotype? So? It isn't from society but from myself. I never let society define me and have spent my whole life rejecting societal norms. I am who I am by my own feelings and instincts. Society had nothing to do with shaping my psyche. Society is shallow, I am not. I am way more than society could ever define who I am.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Sept 30, 2015 10:00:42 GMT 8
Society isn't what I base my likes and dislikes off of. I base them off of what I actually like and don't like.
I never let society define me and have spent my whole life rejecting societal norms. I am who I am by my own feelings and instincts. Society had nothing to do with shaping my psyche. Society is shallow, I am not. I am way more than society could ever define who I am. I agree and feel the same way
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 4:08:34 GMT 8
In my opinion, the invisible rules and expectations surrounding sex and gender are social constructs. Gender stereotypes, gender roles, gendered clothes, stereotypical activities, media such as advertisements (sports at men, beauty at women), the expectation to fulfill one's "man/woman" role of being a "father/mother", to have a family, children... etc. Biological sex, sexual attraction and gender identity are not social constructs. Biological sex is self-explanatory. Society doesn't construct penis, testicles, vagina, boobs, ovaries or the hormones involved. Sexual attraction, who you are attracted to and fall in love with... this cannot be constructed by society. Roles and expectations regarding sex and sexuality (including gender roles "Men must be dominant/women must be submissive"), yes but the feelings aren't generated by society. They are innate or they may be fluid. Just because you cannot touch love or attraction physically like gender identity, it doesn't make it any less real. If sexual attraction was a social construct, it would be easy to convert gay men or lesbians into a straight men/women with those barbaric conversion therapy. Wouldn't that open a new can of worms? Is love a social construct? What if empathy is a social construct? What if being human is a social construct? Gender identity is innate or it can be fluid, there is evidence to suggest the hormones babies get in the womb can affect their development. Environment may play a factor in developing a child but if gender identity was a social construct, many transgender children would slide into their expected roles as men/women, instead of insisting they are who they truly feel they are. One example: A boy had a botched circumcision, the doctor changed his genitals into a female's and he was brought up as a girl, hormones and all. He was not told of the surgery he had as a child yet somehow, he instinctively knew without a doubt that he was male and began to seek transitioning. If gender identity was a social construct, he would have been brought up as a girl without questioning it. Another example: An artist creates artwork, you can touch the artwork and feel the texture and effort put into the canvas. The artwork is objective reality. What if someone came along and told them that their creativity, what makes them create their artwork to the world in the first place... a social construct because creativity is not something you can physically touch? It doesn't make the creativity any less real, society didn't construct creativity within that person. Aisla, I don't think there will ever be a satisfactory response because it's all semantics and theory. There's no concrete answers, just conflicting opinions. I think you make excellent points there Jayce. We have it so hard, not just us as trans indivuals or LGBs either but just as humans. Humans are social beings so with that said we are inundated with everything you said about advertising and marketing. Especially to sexually tied gender identities. This is what really sux though. What you said about men being dominate and women submissive. Society goes through patriarchal and matriarchal cycles. We have been in a patriarchal cycle for a while now. We are changing more into a matriarchal cycle though. I mean 50 years ago there would be no chance of a woman ever being considered as a legitimate presidential candidate. Now we have a woman that is a republican presidential candidate and a democratic presididential candidate. But this would have been unheard of in the mid 20th century. Personally I would love to see how a female president would handle things. Maybe it's time that the old ways change. Hell we have women running corporations that are sucessful. So I don't buy the whole emotional bit. Hell I would love to see a transgendered president. Personally I don't believe that gender is a social construct or gender feelings are social constructs. Being forced into gender roles according to physical sexual characteristics I think could be a social construct. But taking a gender role because you feel more drawn to it because of internal feelings of gender isn't a bad thing. I mean I embrace whatever role that I assume and it is because of my own free will, not because it is socially female but actually how I feel. But I think gender is something that is deeply embedded within our psyche regardless of physical sexual characteristics. If sexual organs dictated gender then we would not exists. We would be whatever we were born as physically. I think Trinity is right. It is at our core. I mean male, female, either or neither, or both. One day we as a species may eventually be asexual in meaning that no organs of coppulation in order to procreate. Hell we can do it in labs now. But I think that gender will still be a part of our being no matter what. Maybe at that time we will all be equally male and female psycholgically. I think that would make us whole beings instead of just one or the other.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 6:59:07 GMT 8
In the afterlife i expect to be an androgyne and very beautiful.
On yhe street i am more comfortable as a visual gender mix. But in that mix the energy, vibe, sense of person i emote will dictate how i am read. Its what sense of self has control.
Observers put that agaist their construct and decide how to react, kinly to the old lady or coldly to the interesting guy. And with curiosity at this person daring the construct with the feather earing and 5 oclock shadow and tits and ass in jeans.
So some get uncomfortable , it destabilizes the construct. And because in makeup its attractive, their poor heads swim cause now they dont know if they were just attracted to a guy or a girl.
But i control the vibe, the body language, and play the construct as i wish.
I think it interesting that full out girl i move hard to femine body movements and voice. Its not needed yet feels natural because i have chosen to play that part of the construct. Same in guy mode.
Lol do i crossdress both to guy and to gal now? Hah! Depends on how you see me in this construct of nonbinary transsexual...
Ooooh did sh'e call nonbinary a construct? It is only if you apply rules and boxes....ya think? Is ts a construct? A conforming to the binary for love joy or stealth?
We can be creative as we want if we understand the construct has limitted power over us. Power we choose to give it for good or ill.
But the core is not construct. It is essence, soul, and it knows who we are, whether male spirit, female spirit, or a spirit that is its own gender and unfortunately feels alone. Till it finds its way here.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 7:23:11 GMT 8
Sh'e could be viewed as construct. An elaborate one made real by the Fairy of the forest. It evokes an image that is useful but it plays upon the binary construct itself. Sh'e is real of course but i chose not to reveal the old wise actor that is also my self image.
They is the accurate pronoun.
Perhaps.
It depends on your perspective and how you see the me i show. Ive shown all here by the way. But i could have only shown Satinjoy if you will. And theres the problem.
When a component gathers around construct enough it can unbalance and eventually the construct wears out and once again there you are face to face with your core.
I may have said to much, cooked your noodles. Yhe point is to enjoy all thatvyour gender can offer you but pay attention to what feels true. For i think that is where happy lives.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 7:54:44 GMT 8
Laughing at myself here. Here i am at work wearing female rings, 4 of them, high polished nails and under everything is bra cami tap pants and panties. And tits and ass.
Because i need these things to feel comfortable in my dyshoric needs. Now is that construct or gender or being physically hard leaning to female?
I just know they are necessary to me.
And its driving the russian jewish guy at the next desk nuts. So far removed from his gender expectations. Nice guy but he cant believe a guy would wear these rings.
But am i a guy?
Hah!
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 8:38:56 GMT 8
I thinks its both funny and sad. I mean, why shoul rings be gendered? Yet they sure are.
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Annys
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Nov 26, 2014 8:33:00 GMT 8
November 2014
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Post by Annys on Oct 1, 2015 14:51:04 GMT 8
The problem, as I understand it, is that gender is not a social construct. Not entirely, anyway. There really are fundamental differences between the various genders, and that's not at all a bad thing. We complement each other, in many more ways than one!
This metaphor is entirely inadequate for the sentiment I'm trying to convey, but I feel like gender as a construct is much like how we make bricks. We have clay, and shale, both very useful stuff in the various ways we use them, and both different forms of the same thing. Society is like the heat that hardens both. Clay becomes all kinds of pottery, for example, just as shale becomes slate. When we mix clay and shale (or straw, or sand, or water - another metaphor I don't have time to get into) together, then add that heat, we get bricks. Very useful stuff, that. With the mortar of religion and tradition, we build all kinds of stuff with it, like houses that make our lives easier, and far more comfortable.
But we've forgotten many things. Like that we're perfectly capable of living without a house (it's just more difficult, for various reasons), or that we can make a building with clay or stone alone. Or that there are circumstances where a clay house is actually better than a brick one.
We also sometimes forget that the brick, even if we "created" it, is still just clay and shale. Even if what we've done with them has become very hard to break, as malleable as they once were alone.
There's not even anything inherently wrong with the bricks themselves. It's the walls we make out of them that keep us from getting outside.
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Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2015 18:18:34 GMT 8
Wonderful avatar.
You mentioned wholeness in your intro.
Is that not the goal of all of us, binary or nonbinary?
Its the key.
I was...am...an organic actor. On the stage i become vulnerable and react from the gut and deep places of emotion. Nothing is faked or a facade. The components of self in the reality it faces creates the emotions. True the words are scripted but the emotions are real and can bring a thousand to tears or laughter, the music of the audience.
They are drawn into the construct of the play.
But the components of self are real. Whatever role i am in the core remains. Observing, knowing what is real, what is not, what is out of tune with the piece. Using my physical instrument and disciplining it. Taking on characteristics that are physical and becoming one with them.
But my identity does not change at core.
Roles creep into life too, i must be careful who i assimilate into self. I played tortured youth, made broadway with that. It gets inside you, and the core of it was the pain of growing up trans.
But always it was part of self and identity.
Trans is no act, dysphoria can kill, we have to learn who we are and become free to make our instruments match ourselves and face down the world and its false values.
Trinity
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