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Becky
1,514
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Demigirl
Androgynous
In private, feminine
They/Their/Them
(she/her/hers in safe spaces)
Queer
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Post by Becky on Jun 8, 2022 22:15:04 GMT 8
We're on a road trip to visit both sets of parents, and help out while they recover from some serious health issues. I'm a non-confrontational sort of person, so I'm presenting as masc as I can stand for nearly the entire month of June. The irony isn't lost on me that this is Pride Month.
What's helping me get through this is the solid knowledge that I'm a demiwoman, no matter what. I'm still feeling the pangs of dysphoria, but I'm trying to remind myself that my gender expression doesn't always have to match my gender identity. My painted toenails and shaved body will have to suffice for now.
My Facebook page is clearly celebrating Pride Month, but I wish I could do so in real life. For us, it should be so much more than wearing Enby pride socks from Target.
(but I am, in fact, wearing Enby pride socks from Target)
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0
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 10, 2022 23:32:33 GMT 8
Unexpectedly sh'e today here, nb but heavy towards the trans side today.
I definitely have intersex characteristics, it may be time to get the truth on that.
I've been taken out by the collateral damage I see in so many trans lives, which is why I get more and more quiet on the board.
Hugs everyone.
Shot night for me.
I don't regret transitioning, but I do regret that I didn't have all the answers when I was young, of course we didn't have them, if I had, I might not have put the family through all of this.
And I never understood how the physical effects of being DES born and the excessive bullying pushed me to binary trans so hard. Once the healing took place from that psyche part of it, it became a very physical thing with me, and I'm still sorting it out, I am convinced that unless that part of it is dealt with, the hurt and abuse part, then its very hard to understand the truth of who we are.
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Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
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veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Jun 11, 2022 4:05:22 GMT 8
While I've ended up pretty close to the binary, the old narrative was way too rigid and way too heterosexual to fit me. I don't think it really is anymore, though the idea of binary trans and nonbinary being two distinct groups was perhaps more harmful to me than the old narrative ever was. I wasted so much time trying to figure out which one I was when it doesn't even really matter.
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Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 11, 2022 6:09:06 GMT 8
While I've ended up pretty close to the binary, the old narrative was way too rigid and way too heterosexual to fit me. I don't think it really is anymore, though the idea of binary trans and nonbinary being two distinct groups was perhaps more harmful to me than the old narrative ever was. I wasted so much time trying to figure out which one I was when it doesn't even really matter. For real...Problem was always only one way to be trans, or NB, when all of us are unique. Exchanging on form of bondage for another. The Matrix. Feel and be...
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 11, 2022 8:10:50 GMT 8
I don't have a problem with trans as a binary, I do however have a huge problem with the narrative thrown out from some (Susan's) that somehow NB is not a legitimate thing. They dug a very deep hole for themselves by taking this stance repeatedly, to the point they themselves have become less than legitimate in my mind. It smacks of everything that is wrong with the right as far as LGBTQ is concerned, that they try to ruin others lives to save their own is the worst kind of thinking, just as the right does this very same thing to them, they have done to NB. But still, I don't see anything different between NB and binary trans, its all in degrees and there are so many things that play into each individuals way of thinking of themselves, there is and never has been any reason to tear down others unless they are attacking you. In order to try and become more legit themselves, they ran out of reasons and went on the attack and then there is their rigid idealism of there is only one way to even be a legit binary trans, their 'plan'. You either follow the steps or face incrimination by the so called thinkers of that place, if anyone has done damage to LGBTQ, it is their iron fisted trying to take over the narratrive of each and every person who thinks of themselves as trans. On here it matters very little if at all if you are NB or binary trans... Their way of thinking is very much on par with that or the right, you either toe the line or else.
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Becky
1,514
Mar 19, 2018 2:50:15 GMT 8
March 2018
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Demigirl
Androgynous
In private, feminine
They/Their/Them
(she/her/hers in safe spaces)
Queer
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Post by Becky on Jun 12, 2022 20:32:48 GMT 8
While I've ended up pretty close to the binary, the old narrative was way too rigid and way too heterosexual to fit me. I don't think it really is anymore, though the idea of binary trans and nonbinary being two distinct groups was perhaps more harmful to me than the old narrative ever was. I wasted so much time trying to figure out which one I was when it doesn't even really matter. Learning that I could have a non-binary gender identity literally saved my life. I was so stuck on the mindset of "I feel like a woman, but I'll never be able to totally become one!" Then, I had to learn that I also wasn't obligated to follow some rigid androgynous model. Having the freedom to figure myself out on my own was a wonderful gift. The gender "rules" are stupid, archaic, and were made up by really boring people. When I finally understood that I could throw those rules out the window, I could finally start living my best life. Are most people over the age of 50 completely confused by my gender presentation? Yes. Do I care? Not anymore.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 13, 2022 8:42:38 GMT 8
People who are confused by gender usually adhere to the idea that your sex and gender are the very same thing, totally wrong there, while they are or can be loosely related, gender is a social construct. It is whatever you think it is, feel it is, where your sex is based on chromosomes and isn't based on your genitals, again there is a loose correlation to them but it isn't the defining one. Most people never ever find out what their chromosomes actually are and quite a few people have something other than what is generally considered to be normal and so the point is, what is even normal, the majority or? Intersex people have a hell of a time with this and yet there are many people wandering around with like typical female chromosomes and have a penis and there are of course plenty of people with a vagina who have a typical male set of chromosomes, its actually a very interesting thing to look into. And because of the stigma of trans, there are plenty of people who dress in a different gender that what is expected (by ignorant old white males mostly who tend to be pissed at the world and vote republican because of it). And they are so good at it that very few people realize they do this, stealth is the word that comes top mind but at the same time have you ever actually looked at supposed straight peoples choices of fashion? Some old pissed off white guys still think pants are only for men or for covering a penis I guess. In many parts of the world men wear what hear in the great white north would consider a dress, not to many people wearing ethnic clothes here let alone a kilt..... But the point is, its a social construct and it depends on where you live as to what you wear and so there are no rules other than those made up ones that pertain to things like fashion which hardly has any rules and the entire point of it is to break the rules, isn't it? Gender is a social construct and depends on where you live, your sex is not dependent on anything but chromosomes and those can't be relied on to be accurate either, and this is just a generalization that biologist use to determine the sex of any living thing, plants included, which don't have social constructs like silly humans do who have a hard time with things like language or numbers or any concept more complex that say like fox news, which the very idea that people on there are actually human is doubtful and I often wonder why that is, they lack all the qualities of being human and yet can imitate them at will, they might be home base for UAP's or UFO's or something not of this earth or at least not of this time, just freaking weird ass cultist bullshit flat earthers and mouth breathers, I wonder what tucker and hannity do when they are busy having their batteries recharged, just stand there at their charging stations next to the rest of them, do they all recharge at the same time or do they take turns, or is it a simple battery change for them to keep the downtime at a minimum maybe nuke power sources, who knows but they are not normal by any means.....
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Leena
2,309
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veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Jun 17, 2022 4:24:54 GMT 8
I feel like I still haven't quite figured out how to deal the fact that people don't tend to gender me based on my presentation.
If I present masculine, I'm pretty consistently gendered as a woman. If I try to present androgynous, I still get a lot of people passive aggressively calling me sir every other word they say. If I present feminine, I'm usually not gendered, and might be more likely to be gendered as a guy than as a woman.
It kind of makes me want to present masculine, though it seems like up is down and down is up.
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 17, 2022 9:05:30 GMT 8
I feel like I still haven't quite figured out how to deal the fact that people don't tend to gender me based on my presentation. If I present masculine, I'm pretty consistently gendered as a woman. If I try to present androgynous, I still get a lot of people passive aggressively calling me sir every other word they say. If I present feminine, I'm usually not gendered, and might be more likely to be gendered as a guy than as a woman. It kind of makes me want to present masculine, though it seems like up is down and down is up. Seems like you just haven't found your presentational sweet spot, but at least you do get gendered as a woman, it just takes you by surprise when. Yah, up down spin around....
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 17, 2022 9:51:05 GMT 8
Stop worrying about what other think and be yourself, the average person who is gender concerned is likely worried about that more than things that actually matter, treat people like you want them to treat you, you know? Those kind of people are just as likely to misgender everyone if they don't meet their standards of gender, calling half the woman they meet men and half the men woman because they are effeminate, its a losing battle to be concerned about it. Trying to please the average person is like herding cats, while it can be done its a futile thing to do and just pisses the cats off. And if people are concerned about gender enough to plain outright gender people based on their limited views of the world, let them make fools of themselves because they are making fools of themselves by being concerned about any individuals gender. Stare them in the eyes and don't look away, that gives them the idea that they somehow fucked up regardless of what it is, the expressionless stare is frightening to assholes who think that by being an asshole they have better rights than others. Its that stare that pushes their idiocy to the limits, they don't know what comes next, as soon as they look away, walk away, that confuses them again on that same level, the zero response they get tells them they are idiots because they really are not getting any kind of feedback for being assholes.
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Leena
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veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Jun 18, 2022 3:10:16 GMT 8
Seems like you just haven't found your presentational sweet spot, but at least you do get gendered as a woman, it just takes you by surprise when. I was there yesterday, even if it was with clothes from the men's department. Unfortunately, shirts from that side of the store generally still fit me better. I look OK in some stuff from the women's department, but stuff that is supposed to be tight fitting ends up having to be too loose in the wrong places and too tight in others. I guess I need reexamine my wardrobe once again. I don't think it's even a good idea for me not to care what others think. It's dangerous being visibly trans, and it feels like it's getting more dangerous. Passing is largely a personal safety thing.
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jun 18, 2022 4:11:46 GMT 8
Seems like you just haven't found your presentational sweet spot, but at least you do get gendered as a woman, it just takes you by surprise when. I was there yesterday, even if it was with clothes from the men's department. Unfortunately, shirts from that side of the store generally still fit me better. I look OK in some stuff from the women's department, but stuff that is supposed to be tight fitting ends up having to be too loose in the wrong places and too tight in others. I guess I need reexamine my wardrobe once again. I don't think it's even a good idea for me not to care what others think. It's dangerous being visibly trans, and it feels like it's getting more dangerous. Passing is largely a personal safety thing. Yeah it is, and why I am licensed to protect myself. It's just that as time went on it got easier for me to present stealth male. My chest is very easy to hide. I'm going to be moving soon to a very transphobic neighborhood, back to where I used to live when I started to transition. I'll be low profile there. I gained too much weight in the middle again so I don't read much at all any more. And when I am out sh'e, its only in safe places.
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Leena
2,309
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veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Jun 19, 2022 3:29:56 GMT 8
I don't know that I can lose my belly fat without losing the rest of my curves. If did get my weight down to where I wanted before HRT, I possibly could be read as a guy, though I tried that for a long time, and it just wasn't happening then, and it's even less likely to happen now.
Even though I sometimes can't see why I male fail, it's not like I'm unhappy when it does. It just feels a lot different than when I present feminine and it's clear people are just trying to be nice.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jun 19, 2022 8:40:46 GMT 8
Belly fat is fine if its the can pinch it fat, but a big belly that protrudes is from visceral fat on the organs in the gut. This stuff is dangerous to have and is the source of a lot of problems that people have, like can kill you problems. Nobody dies from too much fat on the hips or boobs although it can be excessive and cause problems, it isn't the same thing at all. Cut the sugars, cut out refined carbs, eat good for you carbs and its easy to get information on which is better for you, it isn't giving up a thing but pretty much junk food. Biggest source of visceral fat is from sugar drinks, whether it is basic sugar or dextrose or fructose and especially high fructose, it has zero nutritional value and is hurting you, you eat less of the stuff thats good for you. This cuts down the big belly in a hurry, stop eating that crap and in a year the belly will be all but gone or gone, cutting sugar and refined carbs out of your diet won't do much for hips or boobs. But all that crapola stuff is just wasted space and turns to fat and its the type of fat that is next to impossible to get rid of unless you cut the crud, where fat hips and boobs can be excessive from just eating lots of fatty foods and in excess, simplly eating less cuts into that if you want. Burn up calories by getting exercise but all the excercise in the world will not touch that belly fat until it has burned off all the other fat, you can be skinny as a rail and still have way way way to much visceral fat and its the cause of most health issues. A very big share of the people who died from covid had problems before they caught it and those problems were most likely from the effects of visceral fat, it literally is the worst thing you can do to yourself.
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zeta747
New Member
Posts: 2
Gender: Agender
Presentation: Masculine (Closeted)
Pronouns: They/She/He(Only sometimes)
Orientation: Bisexual
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zeta747
Agender
Masculine (Closeted)
They/She/He(Only sometimes)
Bisexual
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Post by zeta747 on Jun 20, 2022 3:40:48 GMT 8
Been feeling a little disoriented on the gender front lately, when I first realised I was non-binary I found myself usually feeling a sense of envy towards alot of transmascs' presentation but have recently started to have the same experience with women as well, with the enviousness being extremely prevalent when it comes to a new cis friend of mine. Not entirely sure what to make of the relatively sudden change, especially since I do still get these experience this from transmascs, so it's not a case of it changing from one to the other.
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