inherit
51
0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Sept 7, 2021 7:46:31 GMT 8
Hanging in, yes, just about thanks. It hasn't been an easy couple of weeks, but for no good reason it seems. I have another appointment with the nurse tomorrow, and all being well I should get my prescription. I guess I'm a bit all over the place about that - really excited, but worried it won't happen, won't help or won't work, or, I don't know. I know I want it, but I am keenly aware that I don't know quite what will happen. I suppose that is a bit scary. I felt much the same way when I was coming close to having a similar appointment. I'm not sure how one could not have those types of fears.
I don't know the first day on HRT felt much different than today, but it is different than the days before.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Sept 7, 2021 8:10:31 GMT 8
Hanging in, yes, just about thanks. It hasn't been an easy couple of weeks, but for no good reason it seems. I have another appointment with the nurse tomorrow, and all being well I should get my prescription. I guess I'm a bit all over the place about that - really excited, but worried it won't happen, won't help or won't work, or, I don't know. I know I want it, but I am keenly aware that I don't know quite what will happen. I suppose that is a bit scary. I felt much the same way when I was coming close to having a similar appointment. I'm not sure how one could not have those types of fears.
I don't know the first day on HRT felt much different than today, but it is different than the days before.
Here in Florida, you can't get the HRT without the letter from a psych saying its medically necessary based on a diagnosis of gender dypshoria. My diagnosis was botched the first round and it took 4 months to get it, and the whole time was weekly visits to the psychologist going through all the repercussions of getting HRT.
But I finally did get a letter, and then they allowed me to get the estrogen based on their diagnosis, which was off but both the psychologist and the endocrinologist knew that I needed E to stop the pain of dysphoria.
Eventually I did get the right diagnosis, from an FTM trans psychologist who really understood nonbinary.
It seems you were able to get through the gatekeeping part of that pretty quickly. For me personally the delay was good, I was able to deal with a lot of things as a result and it kept me from going over the edge, as did the forum.
I hope your experience is much less scary.
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inherit
60
0
1
May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
4,665
Ativan Prescribed
8,475
Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 7, 2021 9:53:15 GMT 8
Had to stop and think about it, but after a week or so I knew it was a thing, but it was not that big a deal, low dose is low for that reason, you just never know how its going to effect someone. Which to me is the reason why the numbers for T levels and E levels is not a comparison thing other than to your numbers from before and even then while they might go up or down, it comes down to the point of how do you feel? Some people have been known to have a negative effect from E, and there is little tp no solid research on it, because the amount you are taking may or may not have much effect on you personally. But the most common answer is that on low dose, its a subtle thing and for most people subtle is just fine, some days are going to be more and other days less, because it naturally fluctuates to begin with. What matters is that on average, females have more E than T, thats about as accurate of a ratio as could be considered as accurate, because some have higher T levels. But if you are taking enough E to change the ratio that is your ratio, it makes a difference, and because the body tries to adjust and bring the ratio back to where it usually is, taking a lot just makes for some really screwed up numbers and ratio. It takes time and everyone is different for your body to decide that the ratio is going to be different and it accepts this and then changes are going to happen, but in the meantime, you do have more E and for almost everyone, that just feels better, even if you are he-man mach mach duderrific and smoke ten penny nails and punch brick walls that get in your way, higher E levels just feel better, confusing if you have no idea, but then people like that generally have no idea and can't wrap their bitty brains around emotions as a good thing anyways, so they just sit and cry and can't tell you why. But same thing with boosting T levels, it changes people and if it works for you, then higher T levels is going to feel good as well, either way its because you are experiencing something new. But if you boost T levels on the unsuspecting person, they will sit and cry just that same because they can't figure out the sudden emotional levels of T, and T has its own brand of them. But what you experience is going to be unique to you and mostly its just different, your thoughts remain the same, you move the same, the world might look a little different but then chugging down half a bottle of hot sauce will do that as well, its the capsaicin you know. But mostly its because you want it to be doing something that it will, as soon as you get busy with stuff, you forget right up until you have a oh yah moment and realize that things are slightly different, if you want majorly different, good street drugs and better still some really good shrooms will do better.... You seriously have nothing to worry about and thats what you are doing while waiting, you can't help but let the mind wander into whatif world. Best advice is to relax and enjoy it, you are stepping forward regardless and that makes a bigger difference than hormone levels do especially with the initial low dose, if you like it and want more, notch it up and let the body settle again and if you still want more, wash rinse and repeat.
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51
0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Sept 8, 2021 3:54:44 GMT 8
Here in Florida, you can't get the HRT without the letter from a psych saying its medically necessary based on a diagnosis of gender dypshoria.
This is not correct anymore from what I understand. According to this map, there are informed consent HRT clinics in all 50 states and some in every major city in FL. That doesn't mean insurance is going to cover anything without a letter though.
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704
0
Feb 21, 2024 9:02:26 GMT 8
408
Iona
293
Mar 6, 2019 21:43:50 GMT 8
March 2019
jos
Non-Binary
transfeminine / agender
She/Her
She/her//they/them
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Post by Iona on Sept 8, 2021 4:37:36 GMT 8
So, I'm just waiting for my prescription now, but they really are making me wait. Just making sure I'm really sure...? Bit frustrating!
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inherit
51
0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Sept 8, 2021 5:03:09 GMT 8
So, I'm just waiting for my prescription now, but they really are making me wait. Just making sure I'm really sure...? Bit frustrating! Not sure why some think that waiting helps anything. They are so scared for some reason that a cis person is making a bad decision, but it's not even that big of a deal if they do. Most changes take months to happen, they're slightly faster with T, but still don't happen overnight.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Sept 8, 2021 7:22:53 GMT 8
Here in Florida, you can't get the HRT without the letter from a psych saying its medically necessary based on a diagnosis of gender dypshoria.
This is not correct anymore from what I understand. According to this map, there are informed consent HRT clinics in all 50 states and some in every major city in FL. That doesn't mean insurance is going to cover anything without a letter though.
I barely get them to cover anything. There's a grant for the office I go to in Orlando that I benefit from, half off of hormones. So 3 months for around 180, and then the P is on top of that.
Places I go they won't touch you without the letter.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Sept 8, 2021 7:25:50 GMT 8
So, I'm just waiting for my prescription now, but they really are making me wait. Just making sure I'm really sure...? Bit frustrating! Not sure why some think that waiting helps anything. They are so scared for some reason that a cis person is making a bad decision, but it's not even that big of a deal if they do. Most changes take months to happen, they're slightly faster with T, but still don't happen overnight. <<Vision of Hana in small camping tent in front of pharmacy counter growing something delicious to eat in a vase, tapping their high heeled foot impatiently>>
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inherit
51
0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Sept 8, 2021 8:44:37 GMT 8
Places I go they won't touch you without the letter.
It's probably better to get the therapist anyway, as you still need letters for legal changes and any surgeries. I probably could benefit from therapy now. Before it just seemed like a choice between weekly electrolysis sessions or weekly therapy sessions, and I thought I needed electrolysis more and I couldn't really afford either much less both.
I was also kind of scared a therapist would make me feel the need to push myself further toward the binary than I was ready to go. I felt I needed to do it slowly, I still don't really regret taking my time, though I might have had I been gatekept for a long time after I made the decision to start HRT.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Sept 30, 2021 8:03:29 GMT 8
Being out stealth she today felt soooo good, a man held a door for me and was kind of falling all over himself a little, or at least, he sure made me feel attractive and I loved it. He had no idea at all Makeup and foundation and all that, it worked pretty nice, it's been a really long time since I did that, had to find my makeup bag. But I was the usual me, crisscross blouse that ends mid torso and is tight, makes the boobs look good, tight low cut jeans, sandals, tassled purse I like a lot, feather earings, full makeup. I felt very good. Nervous at the mammogram and did not need to be. They didn't know what gender to have me fill out forms for, I just told them I was medically female and that was the end of that. It's been a good day today. Yeah, nice people, calling me Trinity even though my papers say the other name, not being outed, treated as an equal female by the women, treated with respect and kindness, and not quite hit on but treated like I should be treated by an older man. It's been a darned good day indeed. Hugs all.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Oct 1, 2021 9:44:28 GMT 8
Set up my doc appt for the GERD, another new person to talk to, told them I was mtf trans, zero pushback.
What meds do you take?
Estrogen, progesterone, etc stuff, oh by the way I'm blah blah blah
Response?
Oh cool. No problem.
My how things have changed.
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inherit
51
0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Oct 2, 2021 2:03:01 GMT 8
Set up my doc appt for the GERD, another new person to talk to, told them I was mtf trans, zero pushback. I've still had very few of these types of conversations IRL. I'm sure I will eventually, but it comes up a lot less often then I imagined it would. People mostly just accept that I go by a different name then my legal name, though a lot of cis people do this also.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Oct 2, 2021 4:58:33 GMT 8
Set up my doc appt for the GERD, another new person to talk to, told them I was mtf trans, zero pushback. I've still had very few of these types of conversations IRL. I'm sure I will eventually, but it comes up a lot less often then I imagined it would. People mostly just accept that I go by a different name then my legal name, though a lot of cis people do this also. I have to deal with the conflict between my drivers license and my medical insurance. The DL has me as male and the insurance has me as female. Since I am full mtf transitioned physically less the operations, I am medically female.
The docs understand that.
I am not paying through the nose for a mammogram because of a drivers license and discrimination against trans females by big dollar insurance companies. If they want to challenge that they can speak to my doctor, its not my fault they have their heads so far up their ..... that they only recognize two genders and if you are different, well, you get the drift, I don't need to go down this road.
I went public against some transphobia today in a different setting full of cis folk. Hope there is no retaliation, but I just spoke the truth. Has nothing to do with medical, has everything to do with entertainment. This is why drag shows rub me the wrong way, it reinforces this idea that we are guys in drag.
I sure as hell am not.
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inherit
131
0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Oct 2, 2021 6:24:01 GMT 8
Well I'll be darned.
Florida law was changed in 2011 with regards to drivers lisences.
All I need is a letter from my doctor stating I changed my gender.
And I will keep my birthname. I see no reason not to.
How about that. One letter, and I know I can get it, and I can stop the concern over mismatches. My wife doesn't even need to know.
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inherit
51
0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Oct 2, 2021 12:25:04 GMT 8
I went public against some transphobia today in a different setting full of cis folk. Hope there is no retaliation, but I just spoke the truth. Has nothing to do with medical, has everything to do with entertainment. This is why drag shows rub me the wrong way, it reinforces this idea that we are guys in drag.
I sure as hell am not.
I still kind of wish I had done drag when I was younger. It was one of the few outlets back then. It is still is for a lot of trans people. Transphobes still would be bigots if drag didn't exist, they'd just say other things.
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