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[Deleted]

What are their rights and what are ours?

Our city recently passed a transgender rights bill.  Illegal to discriminate based on being trans.  Passed this august.

Boss is worried I will present heavier and transition.  Why does everyone everywhere think I will do that.

And who knows I just might, but not now.

Thoughts on dos and donts in the workplace.  They do have me, but i also have them if they mess, at least for unemployment.

I want to remain presenting as is.  Genderqueer, but not with the volume up to high.

[Deleted]

Dec 12, 2014 23:46:05 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

The volume level is interpreted by the listener. You're over the top for your boss. She sees a woman, and even stranger, a woman with facial hair. You're not really surprised that she doesn't get gender queer and gender fluidity are you? My gosh, you are in the south not San Francisco. You've moved the bar to a volume that lets you continue, but it is louder than it was, that they notice is to be expected. How they react is not so clear. Be grateful you are a protected class, that ought to keep the lid on until now becomes normal which won't really take very long. Don't be afraid to step back a touch now and then. Prudence and consideration of the poor pathetic cis kids .

Love,
Julie

Well today has been just like all of them, except I am not hiding.

The boss was giving out cookies, I saw no difference in how she treated me.

Just business as usual, like nothing happened. But I feel real. That is huge.

This presentation is working...

Love

Trinity

[ThePhoenix]

Dec 12, 2014 10:50:18 GMT 8 Trinity said:

What are their rights and what are ours?

Our city recently passed a transgender rights bill.  Illegal to discriminate based on being trans.  Passed this august.

Boss is worried I will present heavier and transition.  Why does everyone everywhere think I will do that.

And who knows I just might, but not now.

Thoughts on dos and donts in the workplace.  They do have me, but i also have them if they mess, at least for unemployment.

I want to remain presenting as is.  Genderqueer, but not with the volume up to high.

People assume that any person who is expressing a non-cisgender identity will go all the way from one side of the gender fence to the other.  They don't understand the concept of nonbinary and most people have never heard the term genderqueer.  So they don't understand that there may be people who choose to just sit on the fence or stay near the fence or do anything other than go all the way.  

As as far as rights go, I don't know what your specific city law says, but usually protecting the right to transition is a big part of the whole point of these laws.  So you likely would have the right to transition if you wanted to.  

When we we work on drafting these laws, we do so with the purpose of protecting the entire trans* community--including nonbinary people.  However, I am not aware of any case anywhere in the country where these laws have been tested outside of a person transitioning from male to female or female to male.  I am concerned about how courts will react to the idea and I would not want to be the first test case.

[Deleted]

OK so I have long hair. Big deal right? Aparrantly it is a big deal. I have lost so many job opportunities because of long hair. Oh no make up, even took my ear rings out and still told all kinds of crap why they couldn't hire me. "Get a haircut", I got so freakin' sick of hearing especially from a boss working for a lumber company in the eighties. When I came back from LA, I went to the lumber yard to say hi to everyone and "bitch" slapped him. Yeah chemical bravery. Went to jail of course. :-S When I got back home from the Army and went with my dad to get some sheetrock he had something to say again. But it wasn't near as messed up. Something like, "That is so much better, you look like a man now". I bitch slapped him again and then told him to have some respect. Went to jail again. In both instances he dropped the charges.The second time I really think he was scared though. Way too many wannbes and he was a wannabe. Even called him on it. He claimed Vietnam and I knew he was never there.

I don't think it's about rights. Who the hell has the right to tell a guy thay can't have long hair? Who has the right to tell a woman they can't have short hair? Who the hell has the right to tell someone how to present themselves? Who has the right to tell anyone how to express themselves? I know. No one. But that isn't the way the world works. That is why I am like I am. I don't play by the rules and had to start my own little business. I can be in my PJs which is a Tshirt or my BF's shirt and and panties and talk to my drivers through Email. Or go down the road to get cellphone coveragege and call the company. But I trust my drivers. All have over ten years experience. They know what they have to do and the company will E mail me with any expenses. If need be. Then I pay for the maintanence. Along with the oil changes and other stuff.

It realy sux when people think they can tell a person how they can look. Or how they present themselves.

[Leena]

I lost a lot of job opportunities in the past because of my long hair, to the point where I caved and had cut it several times, and basically just keep it only slightly longish. I'd love to have it really long, but only once in my life had it really long, and that was when I was in college, and I knew that I'd have to cut it when it came time for a real job. I could maybe grow it longer in my current job, but I'd take a lot of heat for it. That's unfortunately how things are and even if there is a law in place against it, it doesn't mean they'll like you or not promote you or give you raises they would to an average guy because of it. For that sort of thing, to sue under that sort of law, and win, you would have to be some sort of exemplary employee that means working a lot harder than the average guy would…

[Ayla]

I have had very short hair from the time I joined the Navy at 18. But now I am determined to grow it out. This is is my 3rd attempt but I am pretty sure that this time it is for keeps. My age group, my siblings and my peers are the folk that notice and comment ... at least until I tell them that I am NB. Funnily enough my younger colleagues have the fewest comments and are the most supportive. Heading towards the "man bun" at work and one length shoulder long hair for a pony tail etc socially. By Feb I should be able to tie it back. Atm it is at the awkward stage but I like it, I like having long hair and for once in my life I am looking forward to enjoying my hair.

Provided it looks professional then there are enough long haired clients that, if anything, it shows I may have a little personality and don't wish to wear the standard work uniform ie noose (tie) and short back and sides.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

I began transitioning slowly during my employment years, fortunately I was an independent working for three companies simultaneously and spent my time in the field or at my office in my home and presented as I wished. There were a few occasions that I had to put in an appearance at one of the corporate headquarter offices and schmooze with the big shots, and I'd show up in "office casual". Back then I never had hair beyond a generally male length. The office casual costumes have long since gone out to Good Will.

[Deleted]

Good going Star, being proactively assertive concerning your rights in the face of that kind of bias is commendable!

[Deleted]

Dec 22, 2014 8:39:26 GMT 8 @suzanne said:

Oh yes Shan!
But it`s a bit tricky, my destructive side follows close on that.......that`s what makes it possible for me to be assertive.
A thin line we all have to walk, but also the line where I can sharpen my nails on........ooops.....there was that evil smile again.....

My kinda gal though, can-do chickster!

[Deleted]

Well, right after I got out of the Army, I had to wear a wig if I wanted long hair. Not a bad thing but playing music and riding an adrenaline high and putting out so much, the wig just didn't work. When it got long and playing, my hair gets wet with sweat. A wig just couldn't do it. So I always took jobs, truck driving for the most part, that no one cared as long as you didn't kill anyone or accumulate too many tickets. Even got random DOTd in a western state that shall remain nameless in cut off short shorts, a pink tank and red fingernails and toenails wearing high wedges. The State Trooper never batted an eye. I guess a transgender truck driver poses a lot less danger than drug smugglers from LA to Chicago. Ok so I even got a compliment for the hair. HMMM. An admirer maybe? Three months later he even checked my logbooks at the weigh station or "chicken coop" and remembered me even and tried to make small talk but I was in too big of a hurry. Never run into him again. That's kind of unfortunate.

[Deleted]

Well, strange remarks. Bossssaw me fanning myself and asked if I was having a hot flash. I said yes.

Later it was about looking very casual. Legs crossed, boots, relaxed leaning back while typing, nice fuzzy knee length sweater, light eyes.

I can't figure it out. It's like a needling personality thing, which she does anywAy a cross the board. Of course I am hyper sensitive to it.

We have the New law protecting gender expression. I don't think she even knows.

I think she just can't figure it out, that's it's so far from her normal that curiosity is driving her nuts.

All I know is I have had it with stuffing, backing down, and eating crow for being me. I am not a rug for a muddy boot. I need to be me.

A whole volcano of rage right under the surface here, with a lid on it.

My God, the patience we are called to have.

Nail out hair down eyes pretty boots on Tits out but covered, bearded and breathing...

Trinity

[Deleted]

Perhaps you ought to do as one member here did and download a copy of that law and keep it handy if and when she get's her nose out of joint. If you ever have to present it to her you will want to assure her that she wouldn't want to be named as the principle offender in litigation over gender discrimination. Always best to be a good girl scout and be proactively prepared rather crying reactively in despair.

[Deleted]

Reality check with Cynthia and a gentle word by me..boss says...it's fine....

They are adjusting its new to them.

[Deleted]

Dec 24, 2014 1:59:06 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Well, strange remarks. Bossssaw me fanning myself and asked if I was having a hot flash. I said yes.

Later it was about looking very casual. Legs crossed, boots, relaxed leaning back while typing, nice fuzzy knee length sweater, light eyes.

I can't figure it out. It's like a needling personality thing, which she does anywAy a cross the board. Of course I am hyper sensitive to it.

We have the New law protecting gender expression. I don't think she even knows.

I think she just can't figure it out, that's it's so far from her normal that curiosity is driving her nuts.

All I know is I have had it with stuffing, backing down, and eating crow for being me. I am not a rug for a muddy boot. I need to be me.

A whole volcano of rage right under the surface here, with a lid on it.

My God, the patience we are called to have.

Nail out hair down eyes pretty boots on Tits out but covered, bearded and breathing...

Trinity

Don't leave the lid on it. Eventually when a volcano get tapped and when it builds enough pressure it will be a violent eruption. Let it out here. Patience? I think we can handle and try to help the best we can Trinity.

Sometimes pouring out is the best thing for the lava. It keeps the volcano form an explosive eruption. Don't think when I star my eruption I won't be here with tears for my own self. That is why we are friend though. We care for one another. Will help one another and never judge one another. Just friends with no conditions. A love and respect for our friends and nothing but trying our best to help one another though the rough times.

[Deleted]

I am good, cleared the air, doing fine and seem to be ok. Was a shock for her to find out I was ts and already transitioned hormonally. She just getting her head around it, and I am too sensitive, it doesn't take much. Typical abused trans scenario, sooner or later the nails come out.