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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2015 7:27:33 GMT 8
Hair is hair. Hair means a lot to me but some cis women have short hair. Some cis women shave their heads to give raise money. If I was a cis woman I would but I'm a transwoman so I can't because that is one of the things I hide behind. Plus it is so much a part of my identity.Unless I had a child that was sick. I do worry though, Trinity. Grow that hair, if you want. Your wife will love you with long hair. If not then... Sorry. Mine didn't like the long hair mainly because I was getting hit upon. Some girls and some guys. When I told her why I had long hair and shaved my legs, she went mental. I didn't. She said she wanted to leave with tears in her eyes, I said sorry with tears in mine. Love comes and goes and I found the equivalent of it again. He talks about Boston in the springtime and I say No. Who knows though? It ain't spring yet. Massachusetts has the legal marriage no matter what. Anyway Trinity, life is funny. When one door closes another seems to open. It may take a while. But our own happiness is what we should be worried most about. It sounds like it could be selfish and maybe I am a selfish bitch. But I want to be happy. I am definitely working on it and if it don't work out then so be it. Everyone deserves being happy with themselves and right now I am the happiest I have ever been with myself because I am free to be me. But I am different.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2015 10:12:13 GMT 8
It's very deep, the love I share with my ciswoman. The most innocent soul on the planet, a little ball of love and emotions.
Is that little one, the one they got out of the third world before the soldiers would rape, the girl I asked God for and he sent her two days later and I knew instantly...and said you're kidding...
Is she who.shared surviving the stalking and surviving the racists who drove us from our home, fleeing at midnight to hide in an attic, is she worth a presentation shift, a sliced hair, a costume change, while I call her my darling and my dear and wrap nylon stocking legs around her when Satinjoy needs to be boomed?
She's worth it darling. She's mine to keep, but the job, that's another deal, they gottaadeal with me genderqueer, or fully she if I can't take it.
But I appreciate the sentiment, and I draw strength from it to fight the battle that I need to win.
Blessings my dear
Trinity Satin Joy
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Post by Deleted on Feb 12, 2015 0:15:54 GMT 8
Update.
Boss just handed me four Orlando magic tix for tonight's Knicks game.
Nobody is giving me trouble now's. Two or three avoid, the rest is business as usual.
I wear woman's jewelry and nice women necklace, heavy mascara, female type jeans and shirt and sweater and boots.
It became their normal for me.
I think we gained something in this place.
Not to be a peacock, but to say thank you, and give credit to them too.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2015 5:41:57 GMT 8
Update. Boss just handed me four Orlando magic tix for tonight's Knicks game. Nobody is giving me trouble now's. Two or three avoid, the rest is business as usual. I wear woman's jewelry and nice women necklace, heavy mascara, female type jeans and shirt and sweater and boots. It became their normal for me. I think we gained something in this place. Not to be a peacock, but to say thank you, and give credit to them too. Male peacocks have the pretty plume. The females are drab. But good for you hon. But sports though? I would rather have tickets to an opera or Broadway show. Yeah I am a stereotypical woman. I hate sports and there are a lot of cis women down here that like football better than me. When people talk about the Saints, I'm lost. Believe it or not I have been questioned because I don't care for LSU, the Saints or any other sports. Can we say Stereotype? I will watch the game with my BF but usually drink wine to get through it. Then afterwards he gets a wild woman. If they lose and he is too depressed then it is fantasyland. OMG I fell bad because he is so crushed and I could care less who wins or loses. OK so I am a little stupid but why do some guys get so depressed when their team loses? I have never understood it. Not to mention the riots and anger and so on. OK so I'm not a guy and never have been or could be even. . OMFG does that make me binary MTF? Wow, I need to stop thinking so much.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2015 6:33:47 GMT 8
Update. Boss just handed me four Orlando magic tix for tonight's Knicks game. Nobody is giving me trouble now's. Two or three avoid, the rest is business as usual. I wear woman's jewelry and nice women necklace, heavy mascara, female type jeans and shirt and sweater and boots. It became their normal for me. I think we gained something in this place. Not to be a peacock, but to say thank you, and give credit to them too. Male peacocks have the pretty plume. The females are drab. But good for you hon. But sports though? I would rather have tickets to an opera or Broadway show. Yeah I am a stereotypical woman. I hate sports and there are a lot of cis women down here that like football better than me. When people talk about the Saints, I'm lost. Believe it or not I have been questioned because I don't care for LSU, the Saints or any other sports. Can we say Stereotype? I will watch the game with my BF but usually drink wine to get through it. Then afterwards he gets a wild woman. If they lose and he is too depressed then it is fantasyland. OMG I fell bad because he is so crushed and I could care less who wins or loses. OK so I am a little stupid but why do some guys get so depressed when their team loses? I have never understood it. Not to mention the riots and anger and so on. OK so I'm not a guy and never have been or could be even. . OMFG does that make me binary MTF? Wow, I need to stop thinking so much. When it comes to sports, cars and movies, SJ is out and having a blast. Nb babe, and digging it. However, the way I watch has changed, how I feel, and being the girl not the guy in who I identify as. I get horny as a woman, not as a male. Race cars bring out the guy, but if I drive it, it's a wild transsexual behind the wheel, that body lights up and likes wheelspin too. I just have to keep that wanton teenager component taken care of, and she...me is a handful. The more mature she is more fun. It's getting interesting now.... Lol
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2015 7:23:14 GMT 8
Male peacocks have the pretty plume. The females are drab. But good for you hon. But sports though? I would rather have tickets to an opera or Broadway show. Yeah I am a stereotypical woman. I hate sports and there are a lot of cis women down here that like football better than me. When people talk about the Saints, I'm lost. Believe it or not I have been questioned because I don't care for LSU, the Saints or any other sports. Can we say Stereotype? I will watch the game with my BF but usually drink wine to get through it. Then afterwards he gets a wild woman. If they lose and he is too depressed then it is fantasyland. OMG I fell bad because he is so crushed and I could care less who wins or loses. OK so I am a little stupid but why do some guys get so depressed when their team loses? I have never understood it. Not to mention the riots and anger and so on. OK so I'm not a guy and never have been or could be even. . OMFG does that make me binary MTF? Wow, I need to stop thinking so much. When it comes to sports, cars and movies, SJ is out and having a blast. Nb babe, and digging it. However, the way I watch has changed, how I feel, and being the girl not the guy in who I identify as. I get horny as a woman, not as a male. Race cars bring out the guy, but if I drive it, it's a wild transsexual behind the wheel, that body lights up and likes wheelspin too. I just have to keep that wanton teenager component taken care of, and she...me is a handful. The more mature she is more fun. It's getting interesting now.... Lol Maybe a wild or crazy woman behind the wheel like Danika Patrick? Honestly hon the "She.. me is a handful" is what worries me about you. For me there is no she... me. It is all me. Take some time and try and figure it out. She and you are the same. Or eventuall will be. That was my case. Those that love us love her more than they love us. It will always shine through. I bet you like shooing with her and don't complain right? I bet you like watching all the same movies your wife likes, Right? I could have spent the whole day shopping with my ex in the lady's section. Now my BF hates going shopping with me so I have to go with friends. If he did like shopping with me then I would think that maybe he is a lot like me which isn't a problem, but right now I want a guy or a "transbian". So freaking tired of ciswomen. Still appreciate them but tired of them always(from my experience only and pertains to me and no one else) fighting for pole position. :rolleyes:No pun intended on that. Seriously. My freakin ex was more of a man than I was. No plucking of the eyebrows, OMG she had longer arm hair than me. She hated shaving her legs and a lot of time mine were smoother than hers. She had short hair and I had long. She couldn't embrace her masculinity like I embraced my femininity. I was her bitch but she couldn't be my guy. Some BS about all kinds of crap. Eventually though and I hope she/he comes to accept "himself". The thing is that we know one another even those that don't accept it and we have respect for that too. Am I making any sense?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2015 7:33:05 GMT 8
When it comes to sports, cars and movies, SJ is out and having a blast. Nb babe, and digging it. However, the way I watch has changed, how I feel, and being the girl not the guy in who I identify as. I get horny as a woman, not as a male. Race cars bring out the guy, but if I drive it, it's a wild transsexual behind the wheel, that body lights up and likes wheelspin too. I just have to keep that wanton teenager component taken care of, and she...me is a handful. The more mature she is more fun. It's getting interesting now.... Lol Maybe a wild or crazy woman behind the wheel like Danika Patrick? Honestly hon the "She.. me is a handful" is what worries me about you. For me there is no she... me. It is all me. Take some time and try and figure it out. She and you are the same. Or eventuall will be. That was my case. Those that love us love her more than they love us. It will always shine through. I bet you like shooing with her and don't complain right? I bet you like watching all the same movies your wife likes, Right? I could have spent the whole day shopping with my ex in the lady's section. Now my BF hates going shopping with me so I have to go with friends. If he did like shopping with me then I would think that maybe he is a lot like me which isn't a problem, but right now I want a guy or a "transbian". So freaking tired of ciswomen. Still appreciate them but tired of them always(from my experience only and pertains to me and no one else) fighting for pole position. :rolleyes:No pun intended on that. Seriously. My freakin ex was more of a man than I was. No plucking of the eyebrows, OMG she had longer arm hair than me. She hated shaving her legs and a lot of time mine were smoother than hers. She had short hair and I had long. She couldn't embrace her masculinity like I embraced my femininity. I was her bitch but she couldn't be my guy. Some BS about all kinds of crap. Eventually though and I hope she/he comes to accept "himself". The thing is that we know one another even those that don't accept it and we have respect for that too. Am I making any sense? My gender is not the same. Physically maybe, but in terms of other things, I still am learning. What issclear is we have a hurt Satinjoy that is desperate to be loved. But there is much more to the whole of me, I don't fit typical gender models. I am me. She is a huge part, but the wild girl, who is still reacting to past issues, she can't drive this car, it'll wreck out. Trinity has to have the wheel, or darling, it will not be pretty. It's life on the edge by casting, it's the way the play was written. I have little margin for error, everything to gain, or lose. Does it hurt? Yes. Is it worth that hurt? You see my kids faces? It's worth the hurt. Enjoy dear. Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2015 8:14:54 GMT 8
Maybe a wild or crazy woman behind the wheel like Danika Patrick? Honestly hon the "She.. me is a handful" is what worries me about you. For me there is no she... me. It is all me. Take some time and try and figure it out. She and you are the same. Or eventuall will be. That was my case. Those that love us love her more than they love us. It will always shine through. I bet you like shooing with her and don't complain right? I bet you like watching all the same movies your wife likes, Right? I could have spent the whole day shopping with my ex in the lady's section. Now my BF hates going shopping with me so I have to go with friends. If he did like shopping with me then I would think that maybe he is a lot like me which isn't a problem, but right now I want a guy or a "transbian". So freaking tired of ciswomen. Still appreciate them but tired of them always(from my experience only and pertains to me and no one else) fighting for pole position. :rolleyes:No pun intended on that. Seriously. My freakin ex was more of a man than I was. No plucking of the eyebrows, OMG she had longer arm hair than me. She hated shaving her legs and a lot of time mine were smoother than hers. She had short hair and I had long. She couldn't embrace her masculinity like I embraced my femininity. I was her bitch but she couldn't be my guy. Some BS about all kinds of crap. Eventually though and I hope she/he comes to accept "himself". The thing is that we know one another even those that don't accept it and we have respect for that too. Am I making any sense? My gender is not the same. Physically maybe, but in terms of other things, I still am learning. What issclear is we have a hurt Satinjoy that is desperate to be loved. But there is much more to the whole of me, I don't fit typical gender models. I am me. She is a huge part, but the wild girl, who is still reacting to past issues, she can't drive this car, it'll wreck out. Trinity has to have the wheel, or darling, it will not be pretty. It's life on the edge by casting, it's the way the play was written. I have little margin for error, everything to gain, or lose. Does it hurt? Yes. Is it worth that hurt? You see my kids faces? It's worth the hurt. Enjoy dear. Trinity OK so is it worth the hurt. OMG yeah. No I can't ever see any kid's faces because either way as a male or female that is out of my grasp. I'm not even male enough to have children. That sux. That really hurts even. Not from you but from Nature. All I know is that happiness and comfort is worth the hurt. The hurt only lasts until it is healed but happinesslasts a lifetime. "It's worth the hurt"? To you is it though? To me it was but we are all different. All of us are different though. I could never have children so that I missed. That is really fucked up because I have no idea what it means to be a father or mother so I can't even begin to give any advice on that. On that I am a hippocrite. Well I don't even need to b a part of this conversation. But I will say you have fuzzy and that is way more than some of us have. Be thankful for her.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 13, 2015 8:49:52 GMT 8
My gender is not the same. Physically maybe, but in terms of other things, I still am learning. What issclear is we have a hurt Satinjoy that is desperate to be loved. But there is much more to the whole of me, I don't fit typical gender models. I am me. She is a huge part, but the wild girl, who is still reacting to past issues, she can't drive this car, it'll wreck out. Trinity has to have the wheel, or darling, it will not be pretty. It's life on the edge by casting, it's the way the play was written. I have little margin for error, everything to gain, or lose. Does it hurt? Yes. Is it worth that hurt? You see my kids faces? It's worth the hurt. Enjoy dear. Trinity OK so is it worth the hurt. OMG yeah. No I can't ever see any kid's faces because either way as a male or female that is out of my grasp. I'm not even male enough to have children. That sux. That really hurts even. Not from you but from Nature. All I know is that happiness and comfort is worth the hurt. The hurt only lasts until it is healed but happinesslasts a lifetime. "It's worth the hurt"? To you is it though? To me it was but we are all different. All of us are different though. I could never have children so that I missed. That is really fucked up because I have no idea what it means to be a father or mother so I can't even begin to give any advice on that. On that I am a hippocrite. Well I don't even need to b a part of this conversation. But I will say you have fuzzy and that is way more than some of us have. Be thankful for her. Dont get me wrong Jamie. The idea of not having sex as a complete woman in bed rips me right to the core. Its so bad a thought that it is a killing thought. BUT, in this time and place, it has to be this way. Trinity must be in control until Satinjoy is healed of her past hurts. Until that happens, clarity in terms of the whole of me will be just out of reach, others may see it, but all I know is I have one hell of a problem right now to parent. How to parent the quiet little one we just got out of the torture chamber I wrote about at Susans, where to start healing her. See my treehouse thread for more on that. We have a lot of people on the forum working on recoving Satinjoy from her past hurts, a lot of folk watching out for the whole of me as well, and the most disturbing thing is that there are a lot of folk that are scared shitless that I am not going to make it. But, they have faith that it will be done. When I cannot walk, they carry me. When I start to cry, they cuddle me. When I lose my mind and fall off the edge, they find me and bring me back. It is the power of this forum. The power of God given divine appointments that cast this show, a master playwright, in improv with the finest artists of the world. And you my dear are one of them, and I enjoy your shakespearean comic relief, and i love you unconditionally from the guts. In all your wildness. But to answer your question of is it worth it. The answer never changes. Its worth it tonight. -Trinity
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 2:34:31 GMT 8
I look back on this and my jaw drops. There is no hurt... its gone... This blending nurture thing works. So is the job, I am here working right now, wearing my pearls. Nobody else is here except the boss so I can push it a little. I have a few enemies here, most of them are underground, one messed with me Friday, but its minor. And it tipped their hand, I know who it is now. That gave me an edge, and their complaint to the boss was not taken seriously and resulted only in a heads up. Which is a good thing. A known snake has less poison as they can be avoided...
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 2:40:40 GMT 8
I look back on this and my jaw drops. There is no hurt... its gone... This blending nurture thing works. So is the job, I am here working right now, wearing my pearls. Nobody else is here except the boss so I can push it a little. I have a few enemies here, most of them are underground, one messed with me Friday, but its minor. And it tipped their hand, I know who it is now. That gave me an edge, and their complaint to the boss was not taken seriously and resulted only in a heads up. Which is a good thing. A known snake has less poison as they can be avoided... Good thinking! Also concerning enemies, to know your enemy is one of the early precepts in Army basic training, knowledge is power!!
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Post by Deleted on Mar 8, 2015 3:05:56 GMT 8
There is a ripple effect.
Since she reached out and everyone was clueless, of course I was publically outed. Not necessasarily named outside the business, but she was looking for answers, policies, laws.
Julie had given me that powerpoint thingy with the rules, suggestions, what is transgender etc etc, which I passed on to the boss-owner.
Well yesterday when we were talking, basically she just said make sure I walk in with makeup and jewelry already on, which is fine, I get it...anyway, I reinforced she had done a good thing in that public zero tolerance thing. And she said that since I had come out, other businsess folks had come to her saying they had trans... evidently a kind of blundering precedent had happened, one that I am cool with since I am not stealth, not at work, only with extended family or strangers in my home town. So she shared what she had done, the speech notes she made saying that gossip would not be tolerated, that me being trans was no different then someone else being short, or fat... and that the same rules apply, no bullshit with that, no tearing people down. I don't know if she shared the powerpoint stuff too but she has it...
Its a big beginning I think, for this area of the world.... groundbreaking...started by the folks that pushed for the antidiscrimination law adding transgender into it recently here in Orlando where I work. The rest of Florida doesn't have it, look at the blessing and odds that I would land here specifically, find a job here.... predestination anyone?
I know there are other trans out before me, I take no credit, but I suspect the more of us that can safely be out of stealth, maybe the perception that we are all low life prostitutes or wierdos or perverts can be changed a bit as they have to confront the reality of meeting a bunch of nice, real, courageous people that actually have a heck of a lot more integrity than the ones trying to take us down...
I dunno. But I do know I am one lucky little nonbinary transperson. What do they say? "Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves..." -JC.
Meaning, don't give them an edge, nor a weapon to use against you, but be very aware of surroundings, strategies, safety, all that goes with that, without letting it tarnish your sweet little diamond hearts.
That's how I see it anyway, how I think it applies personally, how it could work for someone else too, maybe.
Blessings my dears
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2015 4:06:55 GMT 8
There is a ripple effect.
Since she reached out and everyone was clueless, of course I was publically outed. Not necessasarily named outside the business, but she was looking for answers, policies, laws.
Julie had given me that powerpoint thingy with the rules, suggestions, what is transgender etc etc, which I passed on to the boss-owner.
Well yesterday when we were talking, basically she just said make sure I walk in with makeup and jewelry already on, which is fine, I get it...anyway, I reinforced she had done a good thing in that public zero tolerance thing. And she said that since I had come out, other businsess folks had come to her saying they had trans... evidently a kind of blundering precedent had happened, one that I am cool with since I am not stealth, not at work, only with extended family or strangers in my home town. So she shared what she had done, the speech notes she made saying that gossip would not be tolerated, that me being trans was no different then someone else being short, or fat... and that the same rules apply, no bullshit with that, no tearing people down. I don't know if she shared the powerpoint stuff too but she has it...
Its a big beginning I think, for this area of the world.... groundbreaking...started by the folks that pushed for the antidiscrimination law adding transgender into it recently here in Orlando where I work. The rest of Florida doesn't have it, look at the blessing and odds that I would land here specifically, find a job here.... predestination anyone?
I know there are other trans out before me, I take no credit, but I suspect the more of us that can safely be out of stealth, maybe the perception that we are all low life prostitutes or wierdos or perverts can be changed a bit as they have to confront the reality of meeting a bunch of nice, real, courageous people that actually have a heck of a lot more integrity than the ones trying to take us down...
I dunno. But I do know I am one lucky little nonbinary transperson. What do they say? "Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves..." -JC.
Meaning, don't give them an edge, nor a weapon to use against you, but be very aware of surroundings, strategies, safety, all that goes with that, without letting it tarnish your sweet little diamond hearts.
That's how I see it anyway, how I think it applies personally, how it could work for someone else too, maybe.
Blessings my dears Really Trinity. That is a new avtar? OMG. You wife don't want you get rid of the goatee. You wie don;t want you to grow your hair long. All kidding aside hon, she may be jealous. Your facial features with that hairstyle... Well it is something. It would be really interesting to see you in full on makeup without the goatee. I think, well I really don't think. My ex loved my hair. It was prettier than hers and I didn't have to do shit. It was longer than hers because she just woudn't let hers grow. Not short but not long either. Shoulder length maybe was as far as she would get. I tried the Goatee thing while growing my hair out and when I got rid of it OMFG, pure freakin' hell for a couple of weeks because the skin was way to sensitive. I had a rash only where the goatee grew. No more. Now my face is a smooth as a baby's butt. I think if you ever got rid of the "facial bush" it may give you something that you may not want right now. I may would try it just to see but be careful. But you my dear do what you feel you need to do. Go only as far as you are willing to go but beware because the farther and more comfortable you get the more the call of the Sirens.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2015 6:41:18 GMT 8
There is a ripple effect.
Since she reached out and everyone was clueless, of course I was publically outed. Not necessasarily named outside the business, but she was looking for answers, policies, laws.
Julie had given me that powerpoint thingy with the rules, suggestions, what is transgender etc etc, which I passed on to the boss-owner.
Well yesterday when we were talking, basically she just said make sure I walk in with makeup and jewelry already on, which is fine, I get it...anyway, I reinforced she had done a good thing in that public zero tolerance thing. And she said that since I had come out, other businsess folks had come to her saying they had trans... evidently a kind of blundering precedent had happened, one that I am cool with since I am not stealth, not at work, only with extended family or strangers in my home town. So she shared what she had done, the speech notes she made saying that gossip would not be tolerated, that me being trans was no different then someone else being short, or fat... and that the same rules apply, no bullshit with that, no tearing people down. I don't know if she shared the powerpoint stuff too but she has it...
Its a big beginning I think, for this area of the world.... groundbreaking...started by the folks that pushed for the antidiscrimination law adding transgender into it recently here in Orlando where I work. The rest of Florida doesn't have it, look at the blessing and odds that I would land here specifically, find a job here.... predestination anyone?
I know there are other trans out before me, I take no credit, but I suspect the more of us that can safely be out of stealth, maybe the perception that we are all low life prostitutes or wierdos or perverts can be changed a bit as they have to confront the reality of meeting a bunch of nice, real, courageous people that actually have a heck of a lot more integrity than the ones trying to take us down...
I dunno. But I do know I am one lucky little nonbinary transperson. What do they say? "Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves..." -JC.
Meaning, don't give them an edge, nor a weapon to use against you, but be very aware of surroundings, strategies, safety, all that goes with that, without letting it tarnish your sweet little diamond hearts.
That's how I see it anyway, how I think it applies personally, how it could work for someone else too, maybe.
Blessings my dears Really Trinity. That is a new avtar? OMG. You wife don't want you get rid of the goatee. You wie don;t want you to grow your hair long. All kidding aside hon, she may be jealous. Your facial features with that hairstyle... Well it is something. It would be really interesting to see you in full on makeup without the goatee. I think, well I really don't think. My ex loved my hair. It was prettier than hers and I didn't have to do shit. It was longer than hers because she just woudn't let hers grow. Not short but not long either. Shoulder length maybe was as far as she would get. I tried the Goatee thing while growing my hair out and when I got rid of it OMFG, pure freakin' hell for a couple of weeks because the skin was way to sensitive. I had a rash only where the goatee grew. No more. Now my face is a smooth as a baby's butt. I think if you ever got rid of the "facial bush" it may give you something that you may not want right now. I may would try it just to see but be careful. But you my dear do what you feel you need to do. Go only as far as you are willing to go but beware because the farther and more comfortable you get the more the call of the Sirens. Wow talk about off topic! I am not so afraid of shaving, now that I fully understand what nbmtf is for myself. But, if the opportunity presents itself, I will shave, take lots of pics, grow it back. I need that beard socially. And for home stability. Time will tell, and thanks for the compliment. But I figure if the Eurovision star can pull it off, I'll have a go at it too, and with respect, I ain't no drag queen. Nothing wrong with that. But you get it.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2015 6:58:52 GMT 8
Really Trinity. That is a new avtar? OMG. You wife don't want you get rid of the goatee. You wie don;t want you to grow your hair long. All kidding aside hon, she may be jealous. Your facial features with that hairstyle... Well it is something. It would be really interesting to see you in full on makeup without the goatee. I think, well I really don't think. My ex loved my hair. It was prettier than hers and I didn't have to do shit. It was longer than hers because she just woudn't let hers grow. Not short but not long either. Shoulder length maybe was as far as she would get. I tried the Goatee thing while growing my hair out and when I got rid of it OMFG, pure freakin' hell for a couple of weeks because the skin was way to sensitive. I had a rash only where the goatee grew. No more. Now my face is a smooth as a baby's butt. I think if you ever got rid of the "facial bush" it may give you something that you may not want right now. I may would try it just to see but be careful. But you my dear do what you feel you need to do. Go only as far as you are willing to go but beware because the farther and more comfortable you get the more the call of the Sirens. Wow talk about off topic! I am not so afraid of shaving, now that I fully understand what nbmtf is for myself. But, if the opportunity presents itself, I will shave, take lots of pics, grow it back. I need that beard socially. And for home stability. Time will tell, and thanks for the compliment. But I figure if the Eurovision star can pull it off, I'll have a go at it too, and with respect, I ain't no drag queen. Nothing wrong with that. But you get it. Yeah maybe a little off topic but when haven't topics ever morphed here. You can try. I think you may be surprised at who looks back at you in the mirror with makeup. I started really young wit hte makeup. I had to try and look like a girl. When I grew the Goatee I only kept it for a couple of months and it started not smelling so good. Not bad because I m extremely clean and even washed it with shampoo. But it always seeemed to smeell ike on of those halloween mask's hair. When I got rid of it after a couple of months it was pure hell. I thought maybe I might need it socially with long hair. I thought I may need it with itty bitty ones. I didn't though. I can hide the itty bitty ones with the nips sticking out. I don't hide them anymore though. I do get some looks and I just look back like "WHAT?" Then I give them a little wink if they look again. I have gotten way too many compliments with my long hair from women and men then I ever did without. Some women are jealous like my ex but... too bad, so sad. I can't help it if she had bad hair.
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