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Post by Ayla on Nov 28, 2015 11:55:28 GMT 8
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Post by Deleted on Nov 28, 2015 12:26:22 GMT 8
Really good article. I am a chick with a dick even older. I don't always dress that girly either. So I don't care for transitioning all the way. I don't need SRS to make me feel like a woman. And I can dress as male and feel or Tomboyishly even. the female is always in the back of my mind even dressed as male. I can't escape this. I can hide it but I can never run fast enough from it. So I guess I am more binary MTF than nonbinary. I feel, therefore I am. But everyone feels different. Oh I still go out as male and female but I am drawn more to female than male. It just feels more right. The whole thing is that we are who we are. If someone fights it and resists who they are then there will be nothing but negative experiences. The best way to make it a positive experience is to embrace it totally of who you are. Regardless if you identify as MTF, FTM, either or, OR tomboy or sissy. Neither or both or non at all. We define ourselves. No one else can do that other than ourselves. Damn who would ever believe that I grew up as a redneck girl? Just goes to show but can be blown out of the water at the same time. Stereotypes are true. I would rather spend a quiet night in the country and maybe in the backseat down a gravel road less travelled than a night club. One on one is always better than trying to talk over the loud shit. Meet me there and then let's go somewhere more private So I'm the epitome of an irony. I am a redneck woman that happens to be trans. I don't think I would have it any other way though. I have had my fair share of admirers and haters. God bless the haters because they gave me a thick skin and god bless the admirers because they have let me know who I can open my heart up to. PS it did take a while to learn the difference between an ass and someone truly interested but it can be done. This is not an easy road to travel but it will make you stronger than 90 percent of the rest of the population. So everyone just hang in there and find your place. We all have place in the world. We just have to find it. Mine is more MTF nonbinary. Hell it is turning more MTF binary even as I'm writing this.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 29, 2015 3:13:21 GMT 8
I find this an immensely refreshing article. Very down to earth. It's the way I like to approach things: I have this problem, now how am I going to solve it? You can spend years analyzing it if you like, but I don't really need to. I know what the problem is. Now how am I going to make it better? I don't need all that academic stuff. I just want to be happier in life.
If you look at the comments following the article, they were fantastic. People giving the writer some very good, friendly, practical advice, sincerely trying to be helpful. Jeez, it was all so sensible. Wouldn't it be nice if we human beings could take this approach all the time?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 9, 2015 7:47:34 GMT 8
I have cis women that were more masculine than me. I have seen more cis women that had more stubble on their face than I let my face get. Men are men and women are women. It is more about the masculine and feminine. Regardless what is between the legs. My legs look better than a lot of cis women's legs. Smoother too even. The hair on my arms is shorter than a lot of cis women's. My hair is a lot longer than a lot of cis women's hair. I got bangs which seems to drive some guys wild even. Never really understood that other than looking like a younger woman. So now what? Embrace the femininity. Unless you have a wife or significant other that it may freak out. I don't so I am girly. I fully embrace it and yeah it doesn't feel comfortable sometimes when you got all your "junk". But it does feel natural though. Mind you I am non HRT and non SRS. This is nature at it's best no matter how bad Mother Nature fucked me. But did she really though? I have never had a shortage of lovers. Especially when it came or comes to males. OK so fuck it. I may be gay or what the rest of the LGB community calls gay. I don't think so though because I am psychologically female and Spiritually female. So let them call me what they want. I know. A lot of women like anal sex and I do too. I just don't have a vagina but an AL clit and external ovaries. Still no complaints even from those that claimed to be cis. Especially in Korea when I did my little deal in the club. OK so my halo is tarnished. I can still be an angel though and take a guy to heaven. icon_wow BTW I ain't that innocent even with all the stuff I talk about love. When you get older that is what you are looking for. Yeah it may be sad but not to me. I made some really.... Well I need to really shut up. BTW you know what make me LOL? Some American soldiers even stayed in my bed all night but DADT right? What a fucking joke. They knew me and with a wig and Makeup on they didn't care. Yeah even my own company commander wanted a "chick with a dick" because it made her feel better about being lesbian. the scents of perfume, the long hair even if it was a wig, the smooth body, the boobs (OMG this bitch could suck some nips and drove me fucking wild.) and she knew how to use her tounge. It was our "little secret" though. But she would pay me to come to her quarters to spend the night even with her roommate there. But she tried to kicked a lesbian out of the Army because her and her girlfriend were sleeping together. I saved two asses because I threatened her. I would have been fucked too but.... She got scared when I told he I didn't give a fuck. I told her I have been trans all my life but she wanted a career in the Army in the days of DADT. A bunch of stupid shit no one really care about or even needs to know. But still funny.
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Post by Leena on Dec 9, 2015 12:47:51 GMT 8
I have cis women that were more masculine than me. I have seen more cis women that had more stubble on their face than I let my face get. Men are men and women are women. It is more about the masculine and feminine. Regardless what is between the legs. My legs look better than a lot of cis women's legs. Smoother too even. The hair on my arms is shorter than a lot of cis women's. My hair is a lot longer than a lot of cis women's hair. I got bangs which seems to drive some guys wild even. Never really understood that other than looking like a younger woman. So now what? Embrace the femininity. Unless you have a wife or significant other that it may freak out. I don't so I am girly. I fully embrace it and yeah it doesn't feel comfortable sometimes when you got all your "junk". But it does feel natural though. Mind you I am non HRT and non SRS. This is nature at it's best no matter how bad Mother Nature fucked me. But did she really though? I have never had a shortage of lovers. Especially when it came or comes to males. OK so fuck it. I may be gay or what the rest of the LGB community calls gay. I don't think so though because I am psychologically female and Spiritually female. So let them call me what they want. I don't think Mother Nature did, we are just different, and it's not a bad thing it's actually a wonderful thing, we have a pretty good idea of what it's like to wear all people's shoes, not just half of them... I don't swing that way, but I haven't had a real shortage of lovers either, maybe only 1% of cis-women are attracted to me, but that's still a lot of women. I seem to have a tendency to blow things somehow, anyway. So I'm usually alone, but I feel like there's always a chance of something happening anytime I go out...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 10, 2015 6:49:30 GMT 8
I have cis women that were more masculine than me. I have seen more cis women that had more stubble on their face than I let my face get. Men are men and women are women. It is more about the masculine and feminine. Regardless what is between the legs. My legs look better than a lot of cis women's legs. Smoother too even. The hair on my arms is shorter than a lot of cis women's. My hair is a lot longer than a lot of cis women's hair. I got bangs which seems to drive some guys wild even. Never really understood that other than looking like a younger woman. So now what? Embrace the femininity. Unless you have a wife or significant other that it may freak out. I don't so I am girly. I fully embrace it and yeah it doesn't feel comfortable sometimes when you got all your "junk". But it does feel natural though. Mind you I am non HRT and non SRS. This is nature at it's best no matter how bad Mother Nature fucked me. But did she really though? I have never had a shortage of lovers. Especially when it came or comes to males. OK so fuck it. I may be gay or what the rest of the LGB community calls gay. I don't think so though because I am psychologically female and Spiritually female. So let them call me what they want. I don't think Mother Nature did, we are just different, and it's not a bad thing it's actually a wonderful thing, we have a pretty good idea of what it's like to wear all people's shoes, not just half of them... I don't swing that way, but I haven't had a real shortage of lovers either, maybe only 1% of cis-women are attracted to me, but that's still a lot of women. I seem to have a tendency to blow things somehow, anyway. So I'm usually alone, but I feel like there's always a chance of something happening anytime I go out... That first sentence makes it all worth the BS we go through for me anyway. I have walked a mile in high heels. But yeah we are all different though. I just wish others in our own community such as the LGBT community could realize that. I am not gay. Well I am bi but if I was totally into guys and what they have. Does that make me gay? I would say no because I am attracted to the masculine or ultra feminine. So I may be a lipstick transbian. But I love ultra femme or ultra masculine. I really don't care if a man or woman but someone to be proud of their masculinity or femininity. OMG. With a woman if they wear flavored lip gloss then that is a plus. I do for girls so.... Just sayin' Hell I do for guys even. Lipstick is good but flavored lip gloss over the lipstick will just amp it up a little. I can't pick just one. Guys have their Pros and Cons and women have their Pros and Cons. It is love so it will always be ups and downs. If you can make it through the downs then that means a lot. Me an my ex mad it through some really rough times. He was a guy but eventually we broke it off. He would call me a "tranny bitch" and yeah I would use the "F" word because he like that [art of me. Now we are apart. But that is water under the bridge. BTW, I never used the "F" bomb until he called me a "tranny bitch". I guess it is true. All is fair in love and war. PS I never use the "F" word because I have a lot of gay friends and family members that I love tremendously but if you call me a bad name then one turn deserves another. So if someone trashes me then I will trash them. I am a bitch. But I will stand up for myself. Sometimes people can be asses and I am the biggest ass that I can think of right now. But I do tell it like it is. OMG, my ex called be T Bitch but when I threw the "F" word at him he actually cried and told me I hurt his feelings. Really so what does he think he did to me when I had tears in my eyes from his dergatory terms?
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Post by Leena on Dec 10, 2015 15:09:56 GMT 8
The gay label is something that I've had others try to attach to me throughout my life, though not really accurate. In some ways, I am gay, even more so than you, in that I basically I identify as a girl, and am basically only attracted to girls. But if I were to say I'm gay, people would think I want a boyfriend, when I really just want a girlfriend that likes me as me...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 12, 2015 3:38:30 GMT 8
The gay label is something that I've had others try to attach to me throughout my life, though not really accurate. In some ways, I am gay, even more so than you, in that I basically I identify as a girl, and am basically only attracted to girls. But if I were to say I'm gay, people would think I want a boyfriend, when I really just want a girlfriend that likes me as me... Well I'm not gay either. I like girls but I like girls that are girls like a lipstick lesbian and one that would see me as such too. I like guys but I don't feel so much gay as who I really am with them. I did have a gay friend tell me that if I liked something up my something else then I was gay. No I'm not. But maybe I am who the hell really knows? This gets so confusing sometimes to other people besides ourselves. I am bi though. Hell I like trans men because they are doing just like me and embracing their inner selves. I also like trans women too because of the femininity like I feel. Did I mention that I am lipstick? I really guess we are just "special" and really know who we are without all the BS. Oh well. I'm "gay" because I am pretty happy and carefree most of the time. What really sux is that the rest of the community as a whole, especially where I come from originally, think that we all want to wear feminine clothing and shoes and hairstyles. I must admit that I'm guilty of this but if the glass slipper fits then wear it. But it is sad that we are lumped in with a community that just really don't understand who we are. I have absolutely nothing against the L's the G's and the B's but I wish they would try to understand where we are coming from and how we feel at least. When I am with a guy I do not feel gay. I feel natural when it comes to emotions and other things. When I am with a woman, I do feel like a lesbian. Mainly because me and another woman have the same amount of emotional output. Jesus, this has got me called a lot of names and breakups with women that wanted real masculine men.
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Post by Leena on Dec 12, 2015 15:36:28 GMT 8
I wouldn't really worry about it that much, I think the gay label is going to bother most trans people, because some use it as an explanation of all we are, and that's not at all accurate, whether we are bi or only attracted to men, or women, there is so much more going on than who we are attracted to. Sexual orientation and gender identity are two separate things, they maybe shouldn't get lumped together, but don't lump all LGB people together either, some are more understanding than others.
I've yet to have that sort of breakup, though I haven't really been in any relationship that was all that serious.
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Post by Trinity on Dec 13, 2015 21:12:52 GMT 8
How can you be gay if you are your own unique sex...
Sexual identity vs gender...
My wife pointed to my penis and said...you are a man...yesterday.
I reacted but held my tongue. Yes, part is.
Part is not.
Let her think whatever she wants. Shes here, i put her hands on my breasts this morning, she just laughed and called me Pagel, with love. Her pet name for me as me.
Its the love that matters to me. Not who she thinks i am.
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Post by Trinity on Dec 13, 2015 21:33:10 GMT 8
One of the things that turns me off on mtf dialogue is this learning to pass thing.
Ive had this convo before.
I pass because its real. All three sexes. Yes three.
I dont do fake personnally. Yes i go low profile when i am sh'e. Thats survival.
Real is best for me.
Take me as me, i am no barbie doll transexual. Regardless of hair on or off, leather on or off, skirt on or off, dont we deserve to be loved as who we are without pretending?
I did enough pretending. No more.
Trinity
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Post by EchelonHunt on Dec 13, 2015 22:22:00 GMT 8
Gay, straight, bisexual... such terms have confounded me, especially in high-school during my "What's-my-sexuality?" questioning period. I struggled to define my sexuality, only roughly five days ago, I came to the stunning revelation that my sexuality is undefined or exists outside the sexual orientation norm entirely since I identify as genderless. Sexual orientation requires a person's gender identity to mirror their sex (male gender identity = male or FTM body, vice versa for the beautiful ladies). At least, that's what I think. I am genderless. My biological sex is (currently) female but will be physically male in the future. I do not even conform to gender roles during sex. I am submissive even when I am being in the dominant role. Ya know... Jamie said I'm a gentleman. She's right. I really am a gentle man in bed Ok, ok, not to go off topic. Learning to pass. Hm. I like that even with my deep voice, I still get mistaken as a girl. Good times! I do want to do voice training but I figure it's just best letting my real self come out in my voice. I agree, Trinity, no more pretending.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Dec 13, 2015 23:21:19 GMT 8
Hm. So my gender identity is non-binary, my gender expression masculine, my biological sex is female and my sexuality is beyond any labels. Does that sound confusing? Not confusing at all
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Post by Ayla on Dec 14, 2015 1:37:21 GMT 8
Sexual identity vs gender... My wife pointed to my penis and said...you are a man...yesterday. I reacted but held my tongue. Yes, part is. Part is not. Let her think whatever she wants.... Its the love that matters to me. Not who she thinks i am. TSJ So much here in so few words. It is human nature to want more. Having spent so much of my life learning to understand, to respect and to love myself, perhaps my need to have my wife reflect this is unreasonable, but it is my dream. It is a need, a hunger, which has only been partly sated. Will this be enough or will this continue to eat away at me? Today my wife asked how my conversation went with my younger brother when I told him that I was trans. I said that he had asked how she was. I said that she was good, but if I transitioned she "wouldn't stay as she didn't see herself as lesbian." My wife immediately challenged me and said "why did you say this when you told me that you were non binary and didn't need to transition!" It wasn't the time to clarify what I said. There wasn't the time to explain that some non binaries find that they need to transition. The journey continues.... safe travels Aisla
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Post by Deleted on Dec 14, 2015 3:17:30 GMT 8
I wouldn't really worry about it that much, I think the gay label is going to bother most trans people, because some use it as an explanation of all we are, and that's not at all accurate, whether we are bi or only attracted to men, or women, there is so much more going on than who we are attracted to. Sexual orientation and gender identity are two separate things, they maybe shouldn't get lumped together, but don't lump all LGB people together either, some are more understanding than others. I've yet to have that sort of breakup, though I haven't really been in any relationship that was all that serious. This I really understand. And I try to let my friends in that community know how I feel. Some are understanding. Some think because you like an outie stuck up your back door no matter how you feel like the other gender says you are gay then... Well maybe so. I don't see guys that like me and treat me like a woman as gay. I don't see myself as gay either for surrendering myself to him. It may be considered gay but the attraction isn't necessarily sexual organs as it is gender expression. Yeah it may sound stereotypical and I know I will probably catch flack from it but I want to be cherished as a woman when I am with a guy. Hold me during a storm. Open doors for me. Put your arm around me. pay for dinner. Pull the chair out for me and let me sit first. Hell the guy can even order for me as long as he knows what I want. Buy me jewelry that is special to you toward me. I will watch all the football or even go to games with you. I will watch movies that I have no desire to see other than with him as long as he is with me. So yeah I guess I am a stereotype. OMG Veronica. I have had more breakups than I care to admit. With men and women. I cry and then I get over it. It may take a while but I do wear my heart on my sleeve so... I like the romance and the intimacy. The sex is just an added bonus.
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