kdkorz10211
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Gender: Androgyne
Pronouns: Ze/Hir
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kdkorz10211
Androgyne
Ze/Hir
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Post by kdkorz10211 on Dec 17, 2015 9:42:56 GMT 8
I have sort of the opposite situation of the opening article in that I'm a transmasculine femme. Which unfortunately means that everybody reads me as a cis woman. It's interesting being femme and AFAB; a lot of cis people probably think "why bother?" I'm happy being super queer, defying all the binaries. I don't date currently because I don't trust people to see me as the boygirl I am and, even if they do, I worry that if they're attracted to me as I am now, they won't be attracted to me when In further in my transition (with facial hair or a penis, for example). In general, I have low hope of finding someone compatible – open relationship, cool with paganism, understanding of mental illness, kink friendly, respectful of nonbinary, cool with the fact that I may or may not feel romantic love. Although I suppose the type of people who are good with one aspect are more likely to be good with the others. Still, not much hope...
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Non-Binary
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Post by Trinity on Dec 17, 2015 9:59:02 GMT 8
You may be surprised on that one hon. You're right, be real going in.
The mind thing means you will need each other more, understand each other better, bond deeper.
At least it does with me. We are all different.
Just dont write it off...
Ya never know.
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Post by Leena on Dec 17, 2015 14:24:20 GMT 8
I have sort of the opposite situation of the opening article in that I'm a transmasculine femme. Which unfortunately means that everybody reads me as a cis woman. It's interesting being femme and AFAB; a lot of cis people probably think "why bother?" I'm happy being super queer, defying all the binaries. I don't date currently because I don't trust people to see me as the boygirl I am and, even if they do, I worry that if they're attracted to me as I am now, they won't be attracted to me when In further in my transition (with facial hair or a penis, for example). In general, I have low hope of finding someone compatible – open relationship, cool with paganism, understanding of mental illness, kink friendly, respectful of nonbinary, cool with the fact that I may or may not feel romantic love. Although I suppose the type of people who are good with one aspect are more likely to be good with the others. Still, not much hope... To an extent, I'm thinking more that, in situations such as ours, a friends first or long term casual acquaintance type thing is more likely to work. The weirdness vibe that scares many away wears off if you are someone that is regularly in their life, for one reason or another. Really, I have a lot of hope for myself. Back to the opening article, it does make me wonder a bit if I am even non-binary just because I am not wanting to present all that feminine and have some typically male interests and am not wanting to transition hormonally. Thinking of myself as a girl makes me happy, while my appearance is not even close to passing, I still see myself just as a girl. If I had been born a girl, I don't think I'd have lived my life much differently. The results might have been different, but my interests are my interests. No one really forced them on me. Non-passing is not necessarily non-binary. There's nothing wrong with being non-binary, but at the very least, I'm sure now that I'm much closer to MTF than somewhere right in the middle.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2015 5:00:06 GMT 8
If I was with a guy (cis, FTM or transmasculine), it wouldn't make me feel less of a guy in terms of how I feel body-wise. If I was with a girl (cis, MTF or transfeminine), it wouldn't make me feel less of a girl in terms of how I feel presentation-wise. @jamie - Why do you have to be with a guy or a masculine girl to feel uniquely female in the relationship? You can feel plenty empowered as a female on your own, irregardless of whose arms are wrapped around you in a loving embrace. I would be open to dating anyone regardless of sexuality or gender identity. I just choose not to at the moment because I have way too many things to juggle to even think about dating. It's when people have: - exceedingly high expectations of me
- fall in love with the idea of love rather than me as a person
- refuse to accept that my body is female and not male yet
is where the relationship goes downhill. Humans are flawed after all, even in their ways of loving. I don't really know Jayce. I really don't have to but it is just one of those traits that I'm attracted too. I'm open to falling in love with anyone as long as mine and their personalities are compatible. Whether it be MTF, FTM, Butch Lesbian, Lipstick Lesbian, masculine gay guy, effeminate gay guy, Pansexual, asexual or anything in between. But when it comes to what attracts me it is masculinity but that is just attraction and not Love. Love can overcome attraction when you truly get to know the person. But seriously, whoever can accept me as a female and we take the time to get to know one another, I could care less but I don't want to fall for someone under the premise that I have to be masculine or male. It's one of those things that you really can't explain but I have fallen for quite a few people that I wasn't physically attracted to in the beginning but we became friends and then I was so much more attracted to them on an emotional level and then became physically attracted to them. UGHHH. It's hard to explain. Even I'm speechless on this one.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2015 5:26:15 GMT 8
I don't really know Jayce. I really don't have to but it is just one of those traits that I'm attracted too I'm open to falling in love with anyone as long as mine and their personalities are compatible. Whether it be MTF, FTM, Butch Lesbian, Lipstick Lesbian, masculine gay guy, effeminate gay guy, Pansexual, asexual or anything in between. But when it comes to what attracts me it is masculinity but that is just attraction and not Love. Love can overcome attraction when you truly get to know the person. But seriously, whoever can accept me as a female and we take the time to get to know one another, I could care less but I don't want to fall for someone under the premise that I have to be masculine or male. It's one of those things that you really can't explain but I have fallen for quite a few people that I wasn't physically attracted to in the beginning but we became friends and then I was so much more attracted to them on an emotional level and then became physically attracted to them. UGHHH. It's hard to explain. Even I'm speechless on this one. Different people find different things attractive. If you feel this way, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's not odd to be attracted to someone once you get to know them (even if you weren't initially), because it's only then that you start to see who they really are. I think a deeper bond transcends many things. It's corny, but when you begin to see the inner beauty of someone your perception of their looks change as well. We all want to be seen for who we are and what a gift it would be to meet such a person and fall in love.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2015 5:50:31 GMT 8
I don't really know Jayce. I really don't have to but it is just one of those traits that I'm attracted too I'm open to falling in love with anyone as long as mine and their personalities are compatible. Whether it be MTF, FTM, Butch Lesbian, Lipstick Lesbian, masculine gay guy, effeminate gay guy, Pansexual, asexual or anything in between. But when it comes to what attracts me it is masculinity but that is just attraction and not Love. Love can overcome attraction when you truly get to know the person. But seriously, whoever can accept me as a female and we take the time to get to know one another, I could care less but I don't want to fall for someone under the premise that I have to be masculine or male. It's one of those things that you really can't explain but I have fallen for quite a few people that I wasn't physically attracted to in the beginning but we became friends and then I was so much more attracted to them on an emotional level and then became physically attracted to them. UGHHH. It's hard to explain. Even I'm speechless on this one. Different people find different things attractive. If you feel this way, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's not odd to be attracted to someone once you get to know them (even if you weren't initially), because it's only then that you start to see who they really are. I think a deeper bond transcends many things. It's corny, but when you begin to see the inner beauty of someone your perception of their looks change as well. We all want to be seen for who we are and what a gift it would be to meet such a person and fall in love. Actually Lee, that is not corny at all. We all have our idea of a perfect mate. This is not limited to trans or cis or LGBs either. Very few of us find the perfect love with someone that is the ideal of our perfect mate. Love has no discriminations or prejudices though. As long as someone can love you for who you are and what you are regardless of race, sexual orientation or gender identification and fully accept you, respect you and love you then that is special.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2015 6:02:15 GMT 8
Different people find different things attractive. If you feel this way, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's not odd to be attracted to someone once you get to know them (even if you weren't initially), because it's only then that you start to see who they really are. I think a deeper bond transcends many things. It's corny, but when you begin to see the inner beauty of someone your perception of their looks change as well. We all want to be seen for who we are and what a gift it would be to meet such a person and fall in love. Actually Lee, that is not corny at all. We all have our idea of a perfect mate. This is not limited to trans or cis or LGBs either. Very few of us find the perfect love with someone that is the ideal of our perfect mate. Love has no discriminations or prejudices though. As long as someone can love you for who you are and what you are regardless of race, sexual orientation or gender identification and fully accept you, respect you and love you then that is special.Exactly, I totally agree. ... and perfect love doesn't mean that the relationship or the person is perfect; it's just a matter of being right for each other, to put it (very) simply.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2015 6:55:03 GMT 8
Love is very complicated yet extremely simple too. We fall for who we love. It may be instantaneous or it may take some time.
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Post by Mingma on Dec 18, 2015 11:17:31 GMT 8
Different people find different things attractive. If you feel this way, then there's nothing wrong with that. It's not odd to be attracted to someone once you get to know them (even if you weren't initially), because it's only then that you start to see who they really are. I think a deeper bond transcends many things. It's corny, but when you begin to see the inner beauty of someone your perception of their looks change as well. We all want to be seen for who we are and what a gift it would be to meet such a person and fall in love. Actually Lee, that is not corny at all. We all have our idea of a perfect mate. This is not limited to trans or cis or LGBs either. Very few of us find the perfect love with someone that is the ideal of our perfect mate. Love has no discriminations or prejudices though. As long as someone can love you for who you are and what you are regardless of race, sexual orientation or gender identification and fully accept you, respect you and love you then that is special. Spot on Jamie. In the tradition that I follow, passion becomes compassion, becomes agape, and back to eros, finally to become partner. Ethnicity, gender and sexual orientation all fade in importance and the spirit to spirit connection is what is what defines relationship. Jamie, you are an icon of what is possible, and perhaps a cautionary tale as well. I admire your raw acceptance of yourself and the casting aside of both decorum and obfuscation. You are really quite amazing, Rock on! Ming
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Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
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Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Dec 18, 2015 18:35:12 GMT 8
Love is very complicated yet extremely simple too. We fall for who we love. It may be instantaneous or it may take some time. It can take you by surprize. I knew the moment i saw my wife. Just knew. I had prayed for the perfect woman. I looked up to the sky and said "you're kidding" 28 years three kids and one transition later we are still in love. Cis straight indian girl with no interest in theater. Interracial, crosscultural, intergender. It works. Its about love, selflessness...
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Post by Deleted on Dec 18, 2015 18:57:42 GMT 8
Your love is a great example of what we've been talking about. Amazing.
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Post by Trinity on Dec 18, 2015 22:25:20 GMT 8
Untamed Fairy love. And sh'e is unleashed now, after all these many years. A half century of repression. I am really enjoying this. Fun quote from the mountain folks in my family, we have them. Nice people, farmers in the deep country. "There is a lid for every pot". Re: marriage - life mates.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2016 19:23:29 GMT 8
I really like this article. I find the comments were also really helpful.
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Post by Mingma on Jan 16, 2016 11:09:39 GMT 8
It was worth a reread for me. I really like this article too. I laughed at myself while reading it because I have felt every one of those emotions and concerns. How is this going to work? - Exactly the question. One I still wonder about at times. I present more femme than I sometimes feel just to keep the ambiguity down. But the ambiguity remains in my mind if nowhere else.
Then I get to read the thoughtful and liberating comments here... You are really a rather amazing, generous, and loving bunch of people. My sponsor tells me from time to time that she doesn't have the credentials to unfuck me. That that is up to me doing what is required and then trusting that the universe will provide. She may not be so gifted, but collectively we seem to be. I don't feel fucked tonight, and that is a good feeling.
Peace, Ming
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Post by Trinity on Jan 16, 2016 11:30:38 GMT 8
Yup
A remarkable encouraging convo.
Out full girl tonight but i look ghastly. Stress...when did i go grey...that was quick
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