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hormones
Nov 19, 2014 8:23:37 GMT 8
via mobile
Post by Deleted on Nov 19, 2014 8:23:37 GMT 8
Any questions about hormones etc feel.free...
I am nb mtf.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 20, 2014 7:37:06 GMT 8
You woman probably already know this but I'll tell the story all over again for the sake of new people who may join that don't know me. I guess someone had to start the conversation here. Well as some of you know I started off several years ago on low dose female hormones and frankly it had a lot to do with the fact that I was dealing with a really old GP who was something of a quack in retrospect. Every time I went to see him he gave me the finger wave claiming that he thought there was something amiss with my prostate. I finally told him that I was not too thrilled about it even if he was and that place back there was really a one way operation. So he decided to put me on a low dose estrogen along with a finestaride based prostate medication which resulted in some really quick gynocomastia.
Incidentally this played into some underlying long term fantasies I had entertained about gender. Later I ran into Dr. Anne Lawrence, ( some people don't like her) and she opted to keep me on estradiol and an anti androgen and did the usual blood panel. I left her sphere of influence and hooked up with a trans group and began self medicating knowing there were severe risks and was on an excessively large dosage of Premarin which gave me a rather unsightly pear shaped look, so deciding that I'm not a horse I backed it way down and dropped the excess weight. Eventually I became involved as an outpatient at the US veteran's administration hospital and was put under the care of the endocrinologist who put me back on estradiol, however I was dealing with a lot of mental stress partially about my anxiety over where I was really headed with this and PTSD issues from wartime experiences, so although I had already had an orchiectomy, I went into meltdown mode and quit my HRT for a two year period until it made me physically ill.
By this time I had fallen through the cracks at VA's endocrine clinic so I took it upon myself to purchase meds from one of the well known offshore pharmacies and mistakingly began self medication on a large daily dose of ethinyl estradiol which has a bad reputation for creating blood clots, especially in older persons. After about a year on that along with some rather astounding changes in my physiology I developed a rather frightening case of Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT). I awoke one morning with one leg swollen twice the size of the other and considering the fact that we don't have elephantiasis on the North American continent I made a bee line to the hospital ER and there was diagnosed as I had suspected. I spent half a year on a blood thinner (Warfarin) along with semi-monthly blood draws to check clotting. Apparently the idea is to thin the blood sufficiently to allow it to melt the clot away. At any rate the entire self medicating experiment was ill conceived and has compromised me to the point that the only safe form of HRT is either a patch, which I'm on now or a topical gel application, both of which are quite effective but messy.
So here I find myself in a place where there is no turning back, and though I have no regrets I have found that I fit more perfectly into a place somewhere in the middle of the two binary genders, ergo I refer to myself as an androgynous presenting non binary with great pride and satisfaction following a lot of stupid mistakes and foolish experimentation.
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Post by LivingTheDream on Nov 20, 2014 16:31:39 GMT 8
Wouldn't know personally, keep getting the run around . Long, long journey, fight so far, and my patience is about exhausted. Next two days have some potential to change all that, so here's hoping! If not, might have to go be naughty for a little while.
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Post by Taka on Nov 20, 2014 16:40:23 GMT 8
just don't hurt your body, livingthedream! i'm also running in circles. nowhere to get help easily without lying a whole lot about who i am. and i hope to be a support to others too, when their patience runs thin. i've relied a lot on my nb friends.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 4:36:20 GMT 8
Hormones... When I first became part of the trans community, I thought they were the be-all end-all of transition. So important that I thought transition was utterly impossible without them, and the fact that I couldn't get them and was continually pressured about them gave me more anxiety than my actual body dysphoria did. It felt like there weren't any other options. To be seen as a woman, I HAD to somehow get on those hormones, and so many MTFs made me feel lesser because I was not. They claimed to have this new, superior emotional range and perception of the world on hormones, and implied I lacked it. It bothered me so much. I have always been an intensely emotional person, and having testosterone running through me has never been an inhibitor to that. I finally met someone who saw me as a woman without them, and it was like this gigantic weight was lifted from me. Of course I'd still love to have the physical attributes female hormones would bring, but they were not necessary for me to begin to see myself as female. All that took was finding someone who was focused on my soul instead of my body. It allowed me to come out of my shell and feel comfortable expressing my femininity without limitations, and even helped alleviate some my body dysphoria, too. For the first time, I'm living for now, not for a possible future me... if any of that makes any sense. This is all very difficult for me to articulate, but it's like... I don't hate myself anymore. I don't hate my body. It's beautiful, and I will make it more beautiful and aligned with my soul in time.
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Post by Taka on Nov 21, 2014 6:29:39 GMT 8
i'm also running in circles. nowhere to get help easily without lying a whole lot about who i am. You mean like, if you don't want to go "all the way" they will not help you with hrt? something to that effect. it's possible to find doctors who are willing to work outside the established system, but most of them are centered around the capital. i'm currently trying to see how far my gp can get me, without having to go to the national gid clinic. things are a little more difficult here than in your country. still refusong to make any progress even on the sterilization requirement to change legal gender. and i'm so happy for you pikachu! that sounds a whole lot like the same experience i had of finding myself within me and not medical intervention.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 6:31:13 GMT 8
i'm also running in circles. nowhere to get help easily without lying a whole lot about who i am. You mean like, if you don't want to go "all the way" they will not help you with hrt? I am nb, and loaded with ecyp. Injecting tonight. My diagnosis is not a transsexual. Yet, I am full hormone transitioned. We can get them, I have my.letter, find the folks, I am in the us.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 21, 2014 7:08:03 GMT 8
Uggh I thought you were over here, you have it harder, upsetting.
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Post by Taka on Nov 21, 2014 7:28:25 GMT 8
yeah, it's very upsetting, little fairy. but only denmark has decided to try and walk backwards. the netherlands at least started progressing after some 30 years of stagnation. i'm feeling happy for suzanne, that she's transitioning after the trial abolishment of sterilization requirement. i wouldn't want to change to an opposite binary gender though, so i don't think i'd get what i really want even there.
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Post by LivingTheDream on Nov 21, 2014 9:21:48 GMT 8
just don't hurt your body, livingthedream! i'm also running in circles. nowhere to get help easily without lying a whole lot about who i am. and i hope to be a support to others too, when their patience runs thin. i've relied a lot on my nb friends. Problem solved!
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Post by DCW on Nov 25, 2014 23:48:37 GMT 8
HRT was huge for me, personally, but I definitely got the run-around about it - years of tiny E doses and no T-blocker, etc.
Right now I'm in the midst of a multi-week period of harassing my HRT doc to keep from running out of HRT - took a while to get them to tell me that they wanted new labs and get the order to the local lab, I got them drawn two days later, and now I'm trying to get then to read the labs and deal with the prescription renewal!
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2014 0:09:09 GMT 8
HRT was huge for me, personally, but I definitely got the run-around about it - years of tiny E doses and no T-blocker, etc. Right now I'm in the midst of a multi-week period of harassing my HRT doc to keep from running out of HRT - took a while to get them to tell me that they wanted new labs and get the order to the local lab, I got them drawn two days later, and now I'm trying to get then to read the labs and deal with the prescription renewal! I'm like you at the twenty+ year mark in my transition. I came to the place awhile back where my endocrinologist decided that it was no longer necessary to do labs on me as it has been pretty consistent for some time. I now have a standing prescription that only needs renewing on an annual basis. Perhaps you should have that kind of chat with your own HRT provider as you shouldn't have to jump through those hoops by this point in your transition. I know they do like to run labs on cis women because their female organs can and sometimes do change the dynamics, however in my case having been surgically sterilized back in early 2000 there is absolutely nothing that can cause a need to change my dosage.
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Nov 26, 2014 0:23:10 GMT 8
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2014 0:23:10 GMT 8
Help question here.
I am flushing, also on a thousand mg niacin, heavy e cyp injections, Spiro, finesteride.
I appear to pms in a week cycle. Anyone see it?
Warm flashes, temp perception variations.
Thoughts? Normal full transition stuff?
Eighteen months on hrt.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2014 0:26:14 GMT 8
I'll be starting them shortly, actually... It feels really weird after being out of my reach for so long. I don't really want to talk about them, either, because of how other people talking about them used to make me feel.
On the other hand, I'd like to do my part to dispel some of the utter silliness a lot of folks on the old forum liked to attribute to hormones (J*****a loved to blame all her bad behaviour on them, the few times she was willing to accept any sort of responsibility *eyeroll*)
So maybe I'll start a little blog here in the Dear Universe section. Just to let everyone know how I feel after the first day, what's going on after a month, etc.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 26, 2014 0:32:07 GMT 8
Help question here. I am flushing, also on a thousand mg niacin, heavy e cyp injections, Spiro, finesteride. I appear to pms in a week cycle. Anyone see it? Warm flashes, temp perception variations. Thoughts? Normal full transition stuff? Eighteen months on hrt. Niacin will make your face light up as if you are having high blood pressure or drinker's flush!
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