managing dysphoria

[Trinity]

What do you do to manage your dysphoria?

[Trinity]

I went with mild, it used to be severe. Its mild because I transitioned, and even though I have multiple presentations, I always know who I am underneath, and what I am underneath is also always sh'e.

[Trinity]

There was a time when I would race to take my mind off of dysphoria. Loved racing too, thats true, but it was what drove me to the edge on stuff like that.

[Becky]

I voted for moderate, although the intensity of my dysphoria changes from time to time. I don't really have a basis for reference when it comes to depression, but mine is never debilitating. I just really hate having a male body and facial structure, but not so strongly that it keeps me from functioning.

I want so badly to be seen and acknowledged as a girl, but that's just not going to happen.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I said moderate, mild isn't quite how I see it, and moderate is just as easy to deal with for me.
When I am out, I don't really think about me as being the guy that everyone sees, I am who I am and I'm not that guy.
At home I just wear whatever I feel like, dysphoria doesn't enter into it, and I don't differentiate the different clothes so much.
Like the skirt I generally wear isn't a feminine thing although it still is, it's a comfortable thing moreso.
But at times there is the having to deal with dysphoria, and those times are moderate, it isn't like I have to have, because I can have.
So it gets more involved with what I wear and it really doesn't take much and at that point it just becomes fun, dysphoria slapped back to where it came from.

[Trinity]

my hair is long enough now that its not triggering me so bad.

And its just going to get better from here.

I have to be able to look in the mirror and see myself as sh'e. I don't like the penis, thats dysphoric, but I can stand it because if I look there, the fat has redistributed and its a girl with a penis in the mirror.

So, the classic line about it worked for me, the hormones and the transition did their job.

I do have the ability to go stealth (fuck pass, I hate that expression) and that also helps.

But I am very happy with an androgyne transition, it works for me, and thats needed.

It rarely drops below a 3 though. I have just enough of what I need, I suppose I could surgically get more, but thats ok.

I do get dysphoric, wanting to stealth out, but its mitigated by knowing I can do that when I need to, I just have to do it is all.

Way better than the crippling dysphoria I had when I first came here, night after night of folks in here getting me through the nights without cracking up.

Yeah, it really was that bad, ask Ativan and Jayce and Taka and Aisla and Leena, they were there for me.

[Leena]

Voted heavy.

It's been pretty bad, though somehow not severe enough for me to take quick action. I contemplated each step I've taken towards my transition for a very long time, though they all seem to be right for me. I'm not sure I'm managing this all that well.

[Trinity]

May 7, 2019 21:18:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Voted heavy.

It's been pretty bad, though somehow not severe enough for me to take quick action. I contemplated each step I've taken towards my transition for a very long time, though they all seem to be right for me. I'm not sure I'm managing this all that well.

You're still alive....

So you managed it well enough.

I  think you are going to be very happy on hrt.  Just remember you can hide it, big shirts is all it takes.

[Ativan Prescribed]

May 7, 2019 21:18:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Voted heavy.

It's been pretty bad, though somehow not severe enough for me to take quick action. I contemplated each step I've taken towards my transition for a very long time, though they all seem to be right for me. I'm not sure I'm managing this all that well.

I think you'll be way happier with even the low dose they will start you on, it gives you a chance to see how it is before going up in dose.
Who knows? Maybe low dose will be enough, but see what happens.
And then give a month to settle out, if you want more, then is the time to up the dose.
You always up it in steps, too much ruins it, causes things to be off, and you do need to adjust both mentally and physically each step of the way.
I know most people just want to go for it and get the high dose they know someone else is using, and then the damn T blockers, those are way more problematic than they are good.
It takes time for your body to realize what you are doing, to big a jump and you'll be uncomfortable and that can be a turn off, yet you can back down or quit at any time.
There is no one sure way to go, its different for each person, so comparing to others is a mistake, you'll get to where you want to be, just follow the course and up it when the time is right if thats what you want.
Based on all the things you say, I think you're really going to like it.

[Trinity]

May 8, 2019 9:58:39 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

May 7, 2019 21:18:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Voted heavy.

It's been pretty bad, though somehow not severe enough for me to take quick action. I contemplated each step I've taken towards my transition for a very long time, though they all seem to be right for me. I'm not sure I'm managing this all that well.

I think you'll be way happier with even the low dose they will start you on, it gives you a chance to see how it is before going up in dose.
Who knows? Maybe low dose will be enough, but see what happens.
And then give a month to settle out, if you want more, then is the time to up the dose.
You always up it in steps, too much ruins it, causes things to be off, and you do need to adjust both mentally and physically each step of the way.
I know most people just want to go for it and get the high dose they know someone else is using, and then the damn T blockers, those are way more problematic than they are good.
It takes time for your body to realize what you are doing, to big a jump and you'll be uncomfortable and that can be a turn off, yet you can back down or quit at any time.
There is no one sure way to go, its different for each person, so comparing to others is a mistake, you'll get to where you want to be, just follow the course and up it when the time is right if thats what you want.
Based on all the things you say, I think you're really going to like it.

Spot on, this.

Took me about a year to ramp up.

If they give pills at first, let it dissolve under the tongue, if you want.

Bypasses the liver.

But swallowed is smoother, less impact.

I loved it.  First hrt is like losing your virginity

[Maka]

Voted for moderate, actually it’s floating between mild and at times heavy. Now that I know what it is, it’s perceived most times like sort of a background noise, it’s always present, you know, like a song or a thought that stuck and is constantly looping on and on and on and you can’t get rid of it, always with you, pressing on you, tearing you, but you understand what it is, and can deal with it. Found some tricks that actually work for me and help to easy it to a somewhat bearable level. When it wins and strikes back, I become a total mess, can’t think at all, barely understand what’s happening around, what people say, what I do, where I go, I’m cringed inside full of agony, it becomes the real world, everything else faded away. If I’m fast in smelling out it’s coming I’m lucky and can continue gambling with it my way, if not, well my bad, have to wait until it’s over. Luckily, this happens less and less often now (or I’m fooled into thinking so) as we get more acquainted, I know better it’s shapes and moves, I can interact with it, it’s becoming more like a good old enemy, you see it’s coming and you grin with anticipation

[Leena]

May 8, 2019 5:49:02 GMT 8 Trinity said:

May 7, 2019 21:18:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Voted heavy.

It's been pretty bad, though somehow not severe enough for me to take quick action. I contemplated each step I've taken towards my transition for a very long time, though they all seem to be right for me. I'm not sure I'm managing this all that well.

You're still alive....

So you managed it well enough.

I  think you are going to be very happy on hrt.  Just remember you can hide it, big shirts is all it takes.

I perhaps managed it well enough then, but I don't think that continuing what I was doing before basically is all that great now. I'm not sure I really want to hide it. The idea of going back to guy mode every day for work even if just for the search isn't something I can bring myself to do. 

I'm not sure I can hide it anyway. Although people treat me like a guy when I do guy mode, they look at me funny. If people are going to hate me, I'd at least rather them hate me presenting the way I want to. I feel like I am tired of going back and forth like I've been doing for electrolysis. It's not completely done, and I think there are going to be some problem areas that I get regrowth for quite some time.

I think it's wonderful that some of you are able to go back and forth with presentation and not get incredibly dysphoric. For me, being partially closeted is worse than just being totally closeted. I don't want to go back to that either, but it was more manageable. It's like starting over and presenting feminine for the first time each time I do it if I don't just do it all the time.

[Trinity]

Nov 25, 2019 4:24:08 GMT 8 Leena said:

May 8, 2019 5:49:02 GMT 8 Trinity said:

You're still alive....

So you managed it well enough.

I  think you are going to be very happy on hrt.  Just remember you can hide it, big shirts is all it takes.

I perhaps managed it well enough then, but I don't think that continuing what I was doing before basically is all that great now. I'm not sure I really want to hide it. The idea of going back to guy mode every day for work even if just for the search isn't something I can bring myself to do. 

I'm not sure I can hide it anyway. Although people treat me like a guy when I do guy mode, they look at me funny. If people are going to hate me, I'd at least rather them hate me presenting the way I want to. I feel like I am tired of going back and forth like I've been doing for electrolysis. It's not completely done, and I think there are going to be some problem areas that I get regrowth for quite some time.

I think it's wonderful that some of you are able to go back and forth with presentation and not get incredibly dysphoric. For me, being partially closeted is worse than just being totally closeted. I don't want to go back to that either, but it was more manageable. It's like starting over and presenting feminine for the first time each time I do it if I don't just do it all the time.

Im lucky that the part of me that can enjoy my own style of the male matrix, this rock/ artist hippie look, is real and part of me.

But there comes a time where you just dont give a damn and live as you really are, imo, based on doing this long enough.

Different for everyone.  I run a meeting stealth sh'e tomorrow night although all the regulars know.  I amneeding it and looking forward to it.  Might do a long skirt.

My dysphoria is my hairline mostly, and that thing on the bottom...

You have done well.  I think a lot of our readers draw strength from you.

[Leena]

I guess really it's like I waited my whole life to get to this point. I wasn't really wanting to transition only dress the same as I did when I was younger. It worked for me then I guess, I didn't see an alternative.

That doesn't mean I am going to be high femme...that's not me either. I still listen to metal and I still watch football. My personality isn't really different than it was before, it's more it didn't seem really possible for me at the time to be openly trans.

It's now not only possible, it's what I have been doing much of the last year.

[Trinity]

Nov 25, 2019 9:22:58 GMT 8 Leena said:

I guess really it's like I waited my whole life to get to this point. I wasn't really wanting to transition only dress the same as I did when I was younger. It worked for me then I guess, I didn't see an alternative.

That doesn't mean I am going to be high femme...that's not me either. I still listen to metal and I still watch football. My personality isn't really different than it was before, it's more it didn't seem really possible for me at the time to be openly trans.

It's now not only possible, it's what I have been doing much of the last year.

Its been exciting to watch.

My worst regret isnot doing it sooner.

Like 40 years ago sooner.

But the family, ya know?  I get to have my cake and eat it too.