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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Nov 25, 2019 11:21:43 GMT 8
The ability to switch is sorta a talent, it's always real, but the ability to do it and not feel odd when switching is being at the point of being real to me. But you know that there is a point for some people that they reach and they have to be who they are no matter what, the path reaching the top of the hill. People's frustrations with presentation seems like they are trying too hard and know there is a something, but the full realization is there, but the desire is full on gotta change something. The more I just relax and let the short term just be, ride it out for the day maybe, but I know when the time is right and when it is necessary to be in what is my stealth mode, which isn't to anyone else. But just not letting it get to me, letting it build instead of trying to make more out of just a some, when it gets to a certain point, then it flows without really thinking about it, I just change style to me. And I do spend most days with some sort of feminine sort of thing, a long skirt is common, but I have more of that in my closet than I do anything else, so the selection is pretty wide, that makes it easy. But you have been struggling with it for a long time and I know the feeling, I just found my happy medium and there isn't much to it, out and about, others just see me the same as they always do and they don't pay any attention. Thats the goal for me, I can dress differently and sometimes I feel like it, but I don't look good with feminine clothes of any kind, but wearing some or a lot is just a normal and like I said, I let it flow. You're nearing the top of the hill, you can see it up ahead, and who knows what is on the other side, so instead of trying to second guess or even get an impression before you really know, just relax and let it flow.
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Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Nov 25, 2019 11:48:57 GMT 8
First i am always in lingerie. So if theres an overlay, then its like a lesbian thing. No gendee change.
So its inner perception vs outer.
Mens rooms are weird cause i am not a male.
But...i can get real dysphoric real fast on a hot day when id rather be sh'e.
I dont have the freedom to just change and go out.
I think you do....
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Post by Leena on Nov 26, 2019 1:46:13 GMT 8
The ability to switch is sorta a talent, it's always real, but the ability to do it and not feel odd when switching is being at the point of being real to me. But you know that there is a point for some people that they reach and they have to be who they are no matter what, the path reaching the top of the hill. People's frustrations with presentation seems like they are trying too hard and know there is a something, but the full realization is there, but the desire is full on gotta change something. The more I just relax and let the short term just be, ride it out for the day maybe, but I know when the time is right and when it is necessary to be in what is my stealth mode, which isn't to anyone else. But just not letting it get to me, letting it build instead of trying to make more out of just a some, when it gets to a certain point, then it flows without really thinking about it, I just change style to me. And I do spend most days with some sort of feminine sort of thing, a long skirt is common, but I have more of that in my closet than I do anything else, so the selection is pretty wide, that makes it easy. But you have been struggling with it for a long time and I know the feeling, I just found my happy medium and there isn't much to it, out and about, others just see me the same as they always do and they don't pay any attention. Thats the goal for me, I can dress differently and sometimes I feel like it, but I don't look good with feminine clothes of any kind, but wearing some or a lot is just a normal and like I said, I let it flow. You're nearing the top of the hill, you can see it up ahead, and who knows what is on the other side, so instead of trying to second guess or even get an impression before you really know, just relax and let it flow. So much of this world is how you market yourself. I'm more than a little scared about how this will go for me professionally, but it feels weird marketing myself as a guy. I have recruiters contacting me, some have the resume I posted awhile back under my initials. That may be how I get my next job, and could socially transition on the job. I don't want to wear a men's suit though to any interviews or wear men's business casual like ever. It is what I would have done in the past, unless I knew the dress code was really casual. Blew an interview once at a tech startup by wearing a suit and the CEO was in shorts and a T-shirt and flip flops. Could just show up to the interview in this pencil skirt and a blouse and blazer, though I probably should become more comfortable presenting publicly like this first, maybe by hanging out at a Starbucks or something like that.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Nov 26, 2019 11:04:25 GMT 8
I would think that dressing in womens business without using a dress and wear slacks instead would be more of today's standards, only republicans think that wearing a suit is what all men wear. Plain shirt, womens cut suit jacket, and dress slacks and not even accessorizing,, just go and don't worry that they will evaluate you by your clothes, if they do, you don't want to be working for them, because it could easily be short term. It's like the T shirt CEO, you never know and spit and polish again is something that only republicans think is what all people do, because they they do isn't any reason to have to dress like them, they are a dying breed. It isn't like business is that concerned about dress codes, what with relaxed dress on fridays being a thing, if it hinges on what you wear, then they are way to stuffed to accept anyone even vaguely trans looking. Investigate the companies and ask them what their policy is about LGBTQ, are they religious fanatics or the pretends to be bigots who won't hire you just because they have some fear of people. There are trans out there working and they are at the places where it is cool, dig into the companies who are liberal, go to them, they might have just the position for you that they were getting ready to open up and find someone. I go into things like that and I always include my life experiences, one of the most far out one got me the job, they liked it and hired me right there, and there were people in the wings waiting to be interviewed. Just a job history is pretty boring and it doesn't give them a feel for the person you are, so hype that up and don't worry about it being out there, in fact I got another job because of an unrelated job I had before, I fit a need they were thinking about, wham... Job history and education are just the door openers, the shit that makes you different and better than the next boring person they meet is what gets people hired, you have to fit in with the crew wherever you are going to be. And if they don't think you will or have doubts, then you'll be looking for another job in no time and maybe collected a paycheck, but when you spend that much time with people day after day, don't you want them to fit in with you? And smile, at least a little bit and be ready to laugh at god awful little jokes they tell that are the same little jokes they always tell and you know it, look at them like they are someone you want to know and that sort of thing rubs off on them.
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Post by Leena on Nov 27, 2019 10:08:55 GMT 8
I would think that dressing in womens business without using a dress and wear slacks instead would be more of today's standards, only republicans think that wearing a suit is what all men wear. Plain shirt, womens cut suit jacket, and dress slacks and not even accessorizing,, just go and don't worry that they will evaluate you by your clothes, if they do, you don't want to be working for them, because it could easily be short term. It's like the T shirt CEO, you never know and spit and polish again is something that only republicans think is what all people do, because they they do isn't any reason to have to dress like them, they are a dying breed. It isn't like business is that concerned about dress codes, what with relaxed dress on fridays being a thing, if it hinges on what you wear, then they are way to stuffed to accept anyone even vaguely trans looking. Investigate the companies and ask them what their policy is about LGBTQ, are they religious fanatics or the pretends to be bigots who won't hire you just because they have some fear of people. There are trans out there working and they are at the places where it is cool, dig into the companies who are liberal, go to them, they might have just the position for you that they were getting ready to open up and find someone. I go into things like that and I always include my life experiences, one of the most far out one got me the job, they liked it and hired me right there, and there were people in the wings waiting to be interviewed. Just a job history is pretty boring and it doesn't give them a feel for the person you are, so hype that up and don't worry about it being out there, in fact I got another job because of an unrelated job I had before, I fit a need they were thinking about, wham... Job history and education are just the door openers, the shit that makes you different and better than the next boring person they meet is what gets people hired, you have to fit in with the crew wherever you are going to be. And if they don't think you will or have doubts, then you'll be looking for another job in no time and maybe collected a paycheck, but when you spend that much time with people day after day, don't you want them to fit in with you? And smile, at least a little bit and be ready to laugh at god awful little jokes they tell that are the same little jokes they always tell and you know it, look at them like they are someone you want to know and that sort of thing rubs off on them. I think the most important thing is that I am comfortable in the interview and on the job. I maybe did end up at pretty conservative companies in the past, though that's the ones that happened to hire me, maybe because I followed whatever advice recruiters gave me about wearing a suit.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Nov 27, 2019 10:37:40 GMT 8
Be yourself. Be comfortable. If you can get them to laugh, then you stand a better chance, look for the opening, not at the expense of other things though. They sometimes and usually tell a joke or make something funny just to get you to relax, don't slouch, but get physically comfortable. Have the attitude of 'I've got this', but not arrogant, just confident. Hardly anyone is completely ready for any job, there is always things you are going to have to get used to and learn. If you say you are looking forward to learning new things from a job, it's a plus. It's like college doesn't teach you to be a shoe-in for any job, most college grads lack sp much experience that they have to start at the bottom, but they do advance quickly enough. But life's experiences play a big part in how you are perceived as being able to adjust to a job. If there are diverse things that you can talk about that are not the everyday things that most people will list off just like the other person, add a curveball if you can. In an interview for a job that for sure wasn't going to need the experience I talked about how I was a crane operator among other things like welding and that. They were interested in the crane operator, to the point I asked them if there was any operating involved in the job, they laughed at that, but what they were getting at was that given the opportunity, I grabbed it and moved forward on that. It's those kinds of things that are interesting for a lot of people interviewing for a job, the initiative factor, throw something at you and you'll at least try to catch it, but if you come off as a person who likely will catch it, thats what they want. Thats being able to slide into a job without having to have someone hold your hand until you get it rolling, the attitude that you are looking for a challenge that you can use life skills at as well is a plus to you, that will be to them.
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Post by Leena on Nov 27, 2019 22:35:29 GMT 8
Be yourself. Be comfortable. If you can get them to laugh, then you stand a better chance, look for the opening, not at the expense of other things though. They sometimes and usually tell a joke or make something funny just to get you to relax, don't slouch, but get physically comfortable. Have the attitude of 'I've got this', but not arrogant, just confident. Hardly anyone is completely ready for any job, there is always things you are going to have to get used to and learn. If you say you are looking forward to learning new things from a job, it's a plus. It's like college doesn't teach you to be a shoe-in for any job, most college grads lack sp much experience that they have to start at the bottom, but they do advance quickly enough. But life's experiences play a big part in how you are perceived as being able to adjust to a job. If there are diverse things that you can talk about that are not the everyday things that most people will list off just like the other person, add a curveball if you can. In an interview for a job that for sure wasn't going to need the experience I talked about how I was a crane operator among other things like welding and that. They were interested in the crane operator, to the point I asked them if there was any operating involved in the job, they laughed at that, but what they were getting at was that given the opportunity, I grabbed it and moved forward on that. It's those kinds of things that are interesting for a lot of people interviewing for a job, the initiative factor, throw something at you and you'll at least try to catch it, but if you come off as a person who likely will catch it, thats what they want. Thats being able to slide into a job without having to have someone hold your hand until you get it rolling, the attitude that you are looking for a challenge that you can use life skills at as well is a plus to you, that will be to them. Who I was when I was interviewing before wasn't myself, for sure.
I have bad social anxiety and have a tendency to freeze up. It's happened to me at a few interviews, and it happens to me sometimes when I'm out. It's weird though, I sometimes still got the job.
The idea of interviewing while visibly trans is scary, but it's something I have to start doing at this point. Interviewing itself is better practice for this than just shopping and eating out. The more I did it, the better I got at it before, though doing it in guy mode was a lot different.
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ceremony
Junior Member
Posts: 83
Gender: Non-Binary
Gender: non-binary
Presentation: Male
Presentation: Wouldn't care, don't care
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Heterosexual
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ceremony
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Male
Wouldn't care, don't care
They/Their/Them
Heterosexual
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Post by ceremony on Nov 28, 2019 1:44:25 GMT 8
@leena
Your share speaks to me. I fared poorly with suits, I didn't and don't feel me in them. My dislike of some male traits in interviews made me tongue tied and stammering.
I know a lot of that is internalized anxiety, an internal fear, triggered by no fault of my hopes and dreams. The autonomic parts of us had and sometimes still affect my outcomes.
I've not identified that gender dysphoria plays any part, it's been to me, a complicated intersectionality. I know for me, some of my poor mental health was on repeat mode for most of my adult life.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Nov 29, 2019 12:18:21 GMT 8
I read yet another binary opinion piece on NB and the NB fashion, look, the what do they look like because they are binary and don't get it. In the article, once again they talked about how they know that NB thinks of themselves as somewhere on a spectrum that is binary, and they must be somewhere in between. This shit has got to stop with them, I mean isn't it obvious that if we are NB, then their binary spectrum is simply binary and has nothing to do with NB or non binary or in this case, just not fucking binary, isn't binary, never was binary, its NON binary. They will always think it is some kind of subversion to society so long as we can't be readily identified like they can of all transgender women and men, they simply just have to look with their vast knowledge and experience of trans and presto! they know! But they can't with NB because they can't identify the fashion look or the look or just what is it they wear anyways? So they need to have that in between look so that others can identify them and say them and they, which they won't anyways. Its upsetting to binary because they can't see a NB, they have to ask, they have to go out of their fucking way and ask, it just isn't fair that NB can readily see binary gender and that they can hide somewhere in between. And Until they get over this in between shit and realize that NON is the equivalent of none or not or isn't or just can't be a part of their binary no matter how hard they they try to fit NB into some sort of thing they can just point out and at and say there is a NB, they are always going to be negative about the entire idea that there can even be NB. They are binary and want us to be a something but there is just on and off to them, or make and female really, but so what, might as well be on and off for all the good it does for them, you know? So trying to stuff us into a place that is sorta familiar to them is their way of having some sort of acceptance, like brown people are sorta like black people and if they just all had slanty eyes then it would just be easier for them all because white is one thing and colored slant eyed yellow is another, and you know that sometimes they have children and they are in between the spectrum of white and everyone else in the world? There is no giving them their own race color creed or any of that, how do you say a person is some of this and some of that and can't be either so must be in between,, a nothing but sorta identified as white but not. This is the rise of nationalism which is code for whites use this door and everyone else has to use the other door, and the rise of bigotry saying that NB is just something made up, because they made up the in between shit and they all know there are only two sex's so there can only be two genders, so the same thing, right? And don't even get started on the women thing they got going that women just need to know their place, because not only white, but men as well,, not male, but fucking men, masculine men who are the this centuries aryan nation, and they can god bless the nazi because trump is a nazi and their new god. But even if that sounds like a stretch, it isn't, the in between is the putting you down as mot one of them, but a nothing because you are not one or the other, so a nothing, no matter how much they deny that, its true, think about it, its how they deny us the right to be people and have rights, nothing, just nothings because... So if you think you have to be some of this and some of that and identify that way, like a percentage or something, you are buying into their shit on you. Same thing with clothes, and sure something can be feminine or masculine, but they are not womens and mens, they are clothes that are designed to keep them separated and the mens clothes are cheaper because guess who runs that shit. Here's the thing, the very second you take those clothes and wear them, they are non binary even if they look completely binary, because you are not binary so by wearing them they aren't anymore, and too fing bad if they don't like that shit, because they don't get to say who we are or what we wear. Another article on NB explaining to binary how we are not binary but in between binary because where else could we be? Outside of that gender so called spectrum? There is a spectrum and its filled with all of them. Consider that there is the effeminate man and masculine woman, they are in that spectrum because they are neither Barbie nor Ken, and none of them are, they are the spectrum that is because they have identified themselves as having a binary gender. And they can all be in the spectrum and call it that but they can't put NB in there, it is full of them and so... NB. Not fing binary and not in between anything, if they need to have a spectrum, then NB has its own spectrum whatever that might be and I don't even care, I'm just NB and I have know that all my life, which most binaries can't say that for sure they never doubted their gender that they assigned because sex and gender are the same thing. If they are so sure that they are the gender they say they are, then why do they doubt us when we say we aren't either neither one of those choices that they say is the only choice which isn't choosing at all because they say we can't just choose to be a different gender, when it is a gender, it is just not one of theirs that they didn't get to choose, so why can we when they are so set on this idea that their gender is the only gender and that whites are the only because everyone else is not? See how they work this so that they can justify the bullshit they spew? (or trump as I call it now, bullshit, trump, same thing, what's the difference?).
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ceremony
Junior Member
Posts: 83
Gender: Non-Binary
Gender: non-binary
Presentation: Male
Presentation: Wouldn't care, don't care
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Heterosexual
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Jul 2, 2019 1:02:07 GMT 8
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ceremony
Non-Binary
non-binary
Male
Wouldn't care, don't care
They/Their/Them
Heterosexual
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Post by ceremony on Nov 30, 2019 0:21:56 GMT 8
I read yet another binary opinion piece on NB and the NB fashion, look, the what do they look like because they are binary and don't get it. In the article, once again they talked about how they know that NB thinks of themselves as somewhere on a spectrum that is binary, and they must be somewhere in between. This shit has got to stop with them, I mean isn't it obvious that if we are NB, then their binary spectrum is simply binary and has nothing to do with NB or non binary or in this case, just not fucking binary, isn't binary, never was binary, its NON binary. They will always think it is some kind of subversion to society so long as we can't be readily identified like they can of all transgender women and men, they simply just have to look with their vast knowledge and experience of trans and presto! they know! But they can't with NB because they can't identify the fashion look or the look or just what is it they wear anyways? So they need to have that in between look so that others can identify them and say them and they, which they won't anyways. Its upsetting to binary because they can't see a NB, they have to ask, they have to go out of their fucking way and ask, it just isn't fair that NB can readily see binary gender and that they can hide somewhere in between. And Until they get over this in between shit and realize that NON is the equivalent of none or not or isn't or just can't be a part of their binary no matter how hard they they try to fit NB into some sort of thing they can just point out and at and say there is a NB, they are always going to be negative about the entire idea that there can even be NB. They are binary and want us to be a something but there is just on and off to them, or make and female really, but so what, might as well be on and off for all the good it does for them, you know? So trying to stuff us into a place that is sorta familiar to them is their way of having some sort of acceptance, like brown people are sorta like black people and if they just all had slanty eyes then it would just be easier for them all because white is one thing and colored slant eyed yellow is another, and you know that sometimes they have children and they are in between the spectrum of white and everyone else in the world? There is no giving them their own race color creed or any of that, how do you say a person is some of this and some of that and can't be either so must be in between,, a nothing but sorta identified as white but not. This is the rise of nationalism which is code for whites use this door and everyone else has to use the other door, and the rise of bigotry saying that NB is just something made up, because they made up the in between shit and they all know there are only two sex's so there can only be two genders, so the same thing, right? And don't even get started on the women thing they got going that women just need to know their place, because not only white, but men as well,, not male, but fucking men, masculine men who are the this centuries aryan nation, and they can god bless the nazi because trump is a nazi and their new god. But even if that sounds like a stretch, it isn't, the in between is the putting you down as mot one of them, but a nothing because you are not one or the other, so a nothing, no matter how much they deny that, its true, think about it, its how they deny us the right to be people and have rights, nothing, just nothings because... So if you think you have to be some of this and some of that and identify that way, like a percentage or something, you are buying into their shit on you. Same thing with clothes, and sure something can be feminine or masculine, but they are not womens and mens, they are clothes that are designed to keep them separated and the mens clothes are cheaper because guess who runs that shit. Here's the thing, the very second you take those clothes and wear them, they are non binary even if they look completely binary, because you are not binary so by wearing them they aren't anymore, and too fing bad if they don't like that shit, because they don't get to say who we are or what we wear. Another article on NB explaining to binary how we are not binary but in between binary because where else could we be? Outside of that gender so called spectrum? There is a spectrum and its filled with all of them. Consider that there is the effeminate man and masculine woman, they are in that spectrum because they are neither Barbie nor Ken, and none of them are, they are the spectrum that is because they have identified themselves as having a binary gender. And they can all be in the spectrum and call it that but they can't put NB in there, it is full of them and so... NB. Not fing binary and not in between anything, if they need to have a spectrum, then NB has its own spectrum whatever that might be and I don't even care, I'm just NB and I have know that all my life, which most binaries can't say that for sure they never doubted their gender that they assigned because sex and gender are the same thing. If they are so sure that they are the gender they say they are, then why do they doubt us when we say we aren't either neither one of those choices that they say is the only choice which isn't choosing at all because they say we can't just choose to be a different gender, when it is a gender, it is just not one of theirs that they didn't get to choose, so why can we when they are so set on this idea that their gender is the only gender and that whites are the only because everyone else is not? See how they work this so that they can justify the bullshit they spew? (or trump as I call it now, bullshit, trump, same thing, what's the difference?). Hi Ativan Prescribed, All you've written is true to my experience. I know of all that, and horribly, much more, which I believe, you're fully aware. The words you've chosen speak of my decades of anger and rage toward the system that's blighted the world I must exist in. There's always one source of ruin that I can identify in the political realm, but, a myriad of stealth players. They're not as unknown to us anymore. Like the DeVos's, Mercers, Erik Prince, and the depths of hell liars for God. That last brings blinding rage. My awareness has been honed since the late 80's, and by the middle 90's I had to break and dissociate again. Then sort of moving along from the mid 00's and to the mid 2010's. My trauma therapy began after I called RAINN. It took everything out of me, and left me a wreck for a year. Then 2, and somehow into the 3rd things started to get better. That was after a lot of very intense therapy. I've been blessed with the therapist who's stood with me along the terrible path. Btw, I don't have Kindle, and I wasn't able to see a pdf, so it'll be a while before I might have access to your writing. I am interested. I know a lot A.P., I've been exposed to some horrors, and then read hundreds if not thousands more. I am connected on the trauma side. This side, I'm drifting inside my head, and feel emotions well up easily. It's just like the beginning of opening the old wounds. I am peeling layers of me to find me. I want to be. I so desperately want to be.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Nov 30, 2019 1:32:49 GMT 8
In peeling back the layers, I've pretty much found that I already knew what each layer would be. It's in the denial that we've been forced to live in that is the problem, not so much the memories or realizations or just knowing. What I wrote in the post before is simply another rant about how we are supposed to do as expected because we are not deserving of the same rights as others. It's always been like this, I was old enough to be very much aware of the civil rights movements and the results of those, it didn't take much for the reasonable people to see how they have been manipulated by the few in places of power and wealth. Which is another thing I have always seen as just so much bullshit, when the wealthy try to explain that they are really liberal and that all of their money doesn't affect them and they are no different than the common person. Even if they start out as just another person trying to make it through another day, once they get their taste of money and see how easy it is to get even more once they are accepted in the overly rich circles, they become money hoarders and liars as well. But the self has many things thought about and then never formalized as real simply because it can't be spoken out loud, and that stifles the moment and reduces it to at best a buried memory and for sure just another thought in the far back reserves of thoughts we have. If society was truly liberal, it would have to be accepting of all that is not actually bad for another person, as in removing their rights out of fear and lies about who they are, nobody is born bad, society makes people bad by the way we are all treated. If we are blessed, we live a good life, if we speak out of turn and question the authority (not the real authority but the ones who just think they are), we are told to sit down and shut up for x amount of reasons that we know are shit. I always have thought that it would progress to be better each day, each year, each decade of opportunity for society to grow into the true equality it professes to have, it hasn't changed enough and now we are back to square one, if you ain't white male privileged, you are scrum according to our fearless leader and chief idiot. He has single handedly brought back the stupid and dumbed down society again, making all the bad legitimate so long as it serves an individual's purpose, instead of working for society as a whole, individualism as in stepping on everyone to get yours is back in force. But the real saving grace is that society has had that taste of advancement and sees the results of fairness, the only thing in the way of it is getting those in politicas out of politics and back under the rocks they came out from under. Just like we realize we know each layer and always have, society knows them as well, it isn't so much a need to peel them painfully back as it is to be able to express ourselves as whole without the fear of reprisals. We need to push back against the leaders of doom and pity the followers who simply can't help but buy for the snake oil being sold to them.
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