Are you on hormones? Did you change the body?

[Trinity]

I was mulling through some old threads, and started thinking about nonbinary, trans, altering our bodies.

I'm just curious, are you on hormones?  Did you do any surguries?

Did it get you where you wanted to go?

Do you even want to do any of that?  NB carries a ton of freedom, we can do or be anything, no limits....only social or religious or family or business pressures to conform to the binary....

I did it, of course, full mtf level hrt for me, can't live without it, or at least, I would not want to.

And it goes way beyond the body, its how I feel on them, I need them.

And for me, my physical dysphoria is acute, and it still is.  HRT helped that, wearing the right things helped that, altering my body helped that in many ways, its who I am.

I held back until it broke me, family stuff, religeous stuff, in the end, none of it was sufficient to relieve the agony of dysphoria.

LOL.  This all came about when I was rereading the trans and nonbinary thread.  I may bring that to the top again.

So....I launch too many threads, but hey, where do you stand with all of this?

Hope I am not raking up any pain, dysphoria stinks.

I have zero regrets for transitioning.   Its a nonbinary trans transition, and I needed it bad.

[Ativan Prescribed]

You're equating hormones with dysphoria, and it is a big reason, but not the only one.
Being trans is not being a slave to dysphoria, it is not about having a need for hormones, and that is just the dark side of it, the dysphoria stuff.
Once you can see it, then you take steps to get rid of it, make it manageable at least, but if it is still the thing busting your trans attitudes, then you haven't done enough.
It shouldn't be a lifelong need to combat it everyday and on different levels, once recognized for what it really is, there are logical steps that you should take depending on you.
It's like anything of that nature, and it is a mental thing to be sure, it isn't a things going wrong got some disease, it is the confusion of who you are and once you see it, then you should be able to take care of most of it.
Using it as an excuse isn't the way to go through life, trust me, when it comes to things gone wrong in your mind, I am not a virgin by any means.
You dive into it, you get behind it and kick it in the ass, you surround it and kick it's ass, you just do what you need to do to get to the root and kick it's ass.
If it takes hormones, then so be it, but that isn't a cure, only you can do that, if you take twice as much hormone is it twice as much going away?
If you need to change your body, then fine, but do you have to take hormones forever? You really don't need to, at least not the whole shitload that can be taken.
The horror stories that people tell each other about what happens if you don't get hormones is mostly a lot of stuff that just grows each time the story is told.
Not that many people are going to take hormones forever and nothing is going to happen, they won't melt, they won't meltdown, they won't go screaming into the night, because that doesn't happen.
There are some measurable things that can happen and maybe not stopping entirely is going to work, not at first.
Like anything, to much is going to turn out to be a bad thing and when you find out it is likely too late, would you keep taking anything that was going to shorten your life and you don't have to?
But there are those who will want to stay on hormones forever because of the sense of security, and they will endure everything that goes along with that, it becomes the center focal point of their life.
Being NB means that you most likely don't have to use hormones, not long term, you try them out and they do their thing which shows you that you weren't wrong in the first place, but then there isn't much need after that.
You know more and you can act on that knowledge to take you further along than just hormones are going to.
That you know you weren't crazy after all these years is what they do and once done, it's time to move on to better things about understanding yourself and not having to feel bad about being you, hormones will never do that, in fact they might hold you back from it.
There really are very few things in life that you have to keep doing or taking in order to be the person you want to be, happy and life is good.
Stopping at the first thing that comes along that gets you there isn't going to keep you there, trans is a maintenance thing, as you grow older it changes for most.
It's in the knowledge that you take in from it all and meet the criteria for being happy and having a good life, hormones are just hormones, not a life saving innovation that is going to make life better, only you can do that, hormones are just hormones.
It's in all the other things that you can do that is going to take you farther along and as NB, you need to find the right things in you and you have to live to be happy and not just taking something in the hopes it is going to make all the difference forever in your life, only you can do that, hormones are just hormones and you all have some of each of them, taking hormones is just changing the ratio of them, nothing more, to the ratio that is maybe more of what they should have been, but there is no guarantee either.
Hormones are just a step, one that you might not need or might not need after a while as you get what you wanted out of them, your entire self is like one giant hormone factory and the brain chemicals are just one kind, there are literally more than you even want to know about, they regulate everything, if they get out of whack, you adjust for that, but you don't adjust forever, you find the reason and then it's all good again.
They can be for us the one thing that we need to get the rest going, but they are not by any means a lifelong thing that once you start, you can't get off that merry go round, you can and most do, they served their purpose and then it is time to take the next steps to a better happier life, hopefully one that isn't taking hormone forever and even if you do, at least it shouldn't be the focal point of life.

[Leena]

I'm still just taking herbals, talking about that will get you banned on most trans forums, but they do work to an extent...

In any case, they helped me breast bud on the left side, though I somehow naturally budded on the right side when I was like 21. I don't know I need more than that, though the herbals + minoxidil slowed my hair loss substantially so I'm not quitting them unless I do switch to HRT.

I may still do that, and get bottom surgery eventually, but these aren't even close to the top of the list on problems in my life. It's easy to make them seem like they are, and maybe for you they are, but it's not like life itself doesn't dish out enough problems on top of that that need quicker solutions.

[Trinity]

Mar 28, 2019 10:54:20 GMT 8 Leena said:

I'm still just taking herbals, talking about that will get you banned on most trans forums, but they do work to an extent...

In any case, they helped me breast bud on the left side, though I somehow naturally budded on the right side when I was like 21. I don't know I need more than that, though the herbals + minoxidil slowed my hair loss substantially so I'm not quitting them unless I do switch to HRT.

I may still do that, and get bottom surgery eventually, but these aren't even close to the top of the list on problems in my life. It's easy to make them seem like they are, and maybe for you they are, but it's not like life itself doesn't dish out enough problems on top of that that need quicker solutions.

My life problems are hard enough in some ways that anything that takes my focus off them helps.

Trans is obsessive enough a thing to do that.

[Trinity]

Mar 28, 2019 10:54:20 GMT 8 Leena said:

I'm still just taking herbals, talking about that will get you banned on most trans forums, but they do work to an extent...

Not banned here

Interesting.   Ever get your t and e levels checked?

[Leena]

No. I suspect my T levels have been low most of the time, I kind of wish I had before I started herbals, so I'd at least know where I was to begin with.

I don't know that I entirely recommend herbals, especially if one is expecting to get full transition level results quickly. I was personally wanting to transition even more slowly than low dose HRT...I had my reasons, some of them are no longer valid, but some of them are. I do need whatever they are doing for my hair, I didn't initially care one way or the other on my chest, but I do like the changes that have happened. I don't know if HRT will give me more, or if I want more right now.

[Trinity]

Mar 28, 2019 12:42:55 GMT 8 Leena said:

No. I suspect my T levels have been low most of the time, I kind of wish I had before I started herbals, so I'd at least know where I was to begin with.

I don't know that I entirely recommend herbals, especially if one is expecting to get full transition level results quickly. I was personally wanting to transition even more slowly than low dose HRT...I had my reasons, some of them are no longer valid, but some of them are. I do need whatever they are doing for my hair, I didn't initially care one way or the other on my chest, but I do like the changes that have happened. I don't know if HRT will give me more, or if I want more right now.

You should test them, knowledge is a good thing, and its just so you would know.

The good news?

You don't have spiro side effects and those are awful.

This is a cool alternative to low dose that I don't think has been explored.

[Von]

Nah, my doctor has offered them to me, but we talked, and you can't pick and choose what effects you get. A lot of it would be things my bf is not okay with, but I'm also ok with not having. I was mainly concerned with having less of a soft femme face and voice, cause of the social dysphoria that comes with being 'ma'am'd' when I use my polite voice - which is automatic in public spaces like stores and restaurants. and if it would do anything mentally for me, positively.

But I got my top surgery, which has done wonders to alleviate the lion's share of my physical dysphoria!
Had my last check up, and the nurse said my scars look soooo good, even though I haven't been 100% on top of applying my silicone every day. But they're pretty faded - I'm happy, I thought they'd still be really pink n purple still.

I look good in a tight shirt.
(except for my chubby belly, shhhhh)

[Ativan Prescribed]

Mar 28, 2019 10:54:20 GMT 8 Leena said:

I'm still just taking herbals, talking about that will get you banned on most trans forums, but they do work to an extent...

In any case, they helped me breast bud on the left side, though I somehow naturally budded on the right side when I was like 21. I don't know I need more than that, though the herbals + minoxidil slowed my hair loss substantially so I'm not quitting them unless I do switch to HRT.

Not a problem about herbals here, never has been, they might be a problem for the plan people, because they are the alternative and they don't want to lose people to them just not into the plan...
But really, herbals are the alternative for so many things and they don't always do what you want and they can be a side effect thing for others, but it's like that with pharma drugs anyways.
I think there is a lot of room for anyone using herbals to plainly talk about them and their experience, to me they are what they are and if they work for some, then they do, so good.
Anyone else here using herbals? Any good results or even bad ones?
If people don't talk about things, then a lot of stuff just gets swept under the rug and others won't know there might be something that suits them just fine.
I push on low dose because I did that for years and I liked how it was, I might see if I can start it back up again.
But using things that are not big pharma can be a positive thing, I use CBD and it works good for me, sure mellows out the evening and getting to sleep.
I use L-Theanine to take the edge off anxiety, and that stuff is kind like concentrated green tea stuff, it isn't all of it but it is the mellow you out part.
I drink to much coffee and get the jitters, some of that takes the jitters away and leaves the caffeine buzz get things done stuff.
The more I look at things now, the more I can see there are better alternatives than the side effects pharm drugs that can be addictive to some, there are alternatives to a lot of things.
Even some supplements seem to be a good thing, I'm older than the rocks that dirt comes from, and there are some that are very much a good thing, and they are for younger people to.
So herbals is not only a good thing and not a problem here, it is open for discussions and I think that would be a good thing as well, if there is another way to do things, we should know.

[Jade]

I think I’d like to be on hormones, in hopes they would make the small physical changes I’d like, but my wife and I are trying to get pregnant, and we’re already having a tough time because of some health issues she has. Once we’re done having children, I have every intention of going down that road. Fingers crossed that it does what I hope.

[Trinity]

Apr 2, 2019 20:59:53 GMT 8 Jade said:

I think I’d like to be on hormones, in hopes they would make the small physical changes I’d like, but my wife and I are trying to get pregnant, and we’re already having a tough time because of some health issues she has. Once we’re done having children, I have every intention of going down that road. Fingers crossed that it does what I hope.

Yeah they'll wreak havok with that

[Taka]

Hrt did something awesome to my energy levels. I'm not on it now, because it's difficult to get without enough money to travel far. But getting enough t really made life feel good, whereas I'll otherwise only rationally ackniwledge that my life is sufficiently good.

A bad hormone balance can cause all sorts of mental health issues, including depression and anxiety. Insulin resistance does this, as do thyroid issues, too low or too high t, too high e, too low progesterone, etc.

Gender non-conformity hasn't yet been too well studied, but it seems to be more of an invisible, brain structure related form of intersex, than a "psychological" issue. This also means that a one size fits all kind of treatment is likely to fail more often than tailoring it to the person who struggles with it.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I stopped the low dose over two years ago and at that time, things were so screwy that I didn't have time to think about it much.
The last couple years I could have easily gone back on it, but I feel like if I can be myself without any added junk over all the junk I have to have, then why start again.
I think about it once in a while, and I do have more body hair again but that wasn't the reason for it to begin with, it was just to see how it was with it, that lasted for years at various doses.
But I don't miss it and I still don't have a baseline I can use, life just got out of control and then here, small town redneck trump voters with loud pickup trucks that they have to make loud driving around town to impress themselves that they can make noise like little kids...
So I don't know anymore how it was, I can feel it at times and I think it might be better, but then it's in the doing it and having to remember the little patches all the time.
It was a big difference at first, I don't know if things just got to the point where it really wasn't doing me any psychological value, I think what it did, that was in the first couple years.
I don't think I would get that again now, I'm pretty well settled into who I am and it isn't the center of my universe, NB is just a facet of who I am and there are so many I guess it got lost in the shuffle.
But I do think people should at least try low dose either way, just so they know there is a different way that you see things when your hormones are right for you.
And that's the thing, I have no idea if they are right anymore for me, I stay in this mindset of NB almost all the time, I don't think I need to change that.

[Leena]

Apr 8, 2019 10:04:22 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

But I do think people should at least try low dose either way, just so they know there is a different way that you see things when your hormones are right for you.
And that's the thing, I have no idea if they are right anymore for me, I stay in this mindset of NB almost all the time, I don't think I need to change that.

That part is still going to bother me until I try. I don't know that they wouldn't be so much better for me than the herbals I'm taking. I'm in some ways more concerned that if it turns out HRT isn't for me, then what?

[Ativan Prescribed]

Then don't use it, some people try it and it just isn't for them, and they know almost right away, in a day or two at the most.
And that doesn't change a thing about them, it just means that they don't need it.
If the herbals seem to work and you like them, then that's the right thing for you.
If you want to know about E, and you know a woman who uses the patch for birth control, get one from them, they usually forget and have extras just like I did.
It isn't a big deal for them to go without a patch for a couple days or so, the half life in them is going to take them to the next one, and what they have built up in them is going to take them a lot farther.
But that is a easy source to get one to try, just get something in the lower ranges, the lower the better, but then if it is a higher one, you'll know a lot faster and you can always take it off, no need to get a blood transfusion.
You take someones pill form and your stuck until it pisses out, I used to try a bunch of patches at the same time when I had extras, and I had a months worth because they screwed up at the pharmacy.
If it became to weird, Ijust took them off or one or two, it isn't that big of a deal, it is sublime and once you realize it is there and working, then you start to see the difference, it isn't like a street drug, no big high.
But I do think if anyone wants to find out, then get a script from your doc and try them out, it isn't addictive for the most part, some people like the feeling a lot and that isn't the same as a physical addiction where if you don't get more, you have the cramps and sweats and puke and that, there is no reason that a person can just quit at anytime and not have to worry about it.
One of the worst feelings I heard about was headaches, but who knows, mostly it is just a feeling that you aren't liking it.