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131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Feb 22, 2019 4:10:33 GMT 8
Wondering what life event or whatever brought you to our forum, or to the old forest before this one was born.
Me, I had BPH, was researching it and looking at meds to avoid surgery, found finersteride, and that linked me into....
the old forest.
But when I joined, and it was the mtf section that I went into, I was on the edge of cracking up from dysphoria.
Aisla found me in the mtf section, recognized a nonbinary core, and suggested I look at the then Androgyne section.
I didn't identify at first, but later, I did, with a vengence, then I OD'd on estrogen shots and Ativan reached out to me, and the rest became quite an amazing story, with the elf and the shadow always with me.
It was quite a time, but why did I originally come?
Dysphoria broke me like a twig at age 54. Utterly crushed me, I was on the edge a long time, and Ativan and Aisla and Patty and a few others close to me were talking with me daily so I wouldn't go over it.
Saved my life, these folks, God thing, divine appointment.
What brought you to our unicorn forest, the nonbinary forum?
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0
Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Feb 22, 2019 5:21:43 GMT 8
It may seem strange, but brought me to the old forest was watching the series premiere of Ray Donovan, which the main story line was a trans sex worker blackmailing some sports star to get money for SRS.
I really had dismissed the idea of ever transitioning back when I was in college, because I never saw myself being able to afford SRS. That episode, while it was kind of transphobic, made me wonder just how much it cost now and if it was something I could afford since I was done with school and had been working in IT for awhile.
Dysphoria really spiraled out of control once I found out it was something I could conceivably afford, albeit still really expensive. I'm still not sure SRS is right for me, or if even HRT is, but it's been clear since that week that I am not cisgender.
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4,666
Ativan Prescribed
8,479
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January 2015
ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Feb 22, 2019 12:30:43 GMT 8
Did my time in the violent psych unit for months because they just do that shit to people, and then went through this 90 day reentry thing into the community, which was a basic joke. So went from having to watch my back and stealing knives from the food trays, to just being kicked back and doing nothing much, took other people's turns cooking because they sucked at it and I don't. Cooking is always a fun thing for me, one rule, stay out of the kitchen when I'm in it, I use a chef's knife for everything and it gets whipped around and besides, juggling one is fun, so stay away from the sharp blades spinning in your face, I never watch for others, I'm doing my thing and they don't have a reason to be getting in the way and wrecking my fun, one hard smack of the blade into the cutting board and letting go so it makes a noise is enough to get the point across. But... I moved to a place that I had a ton of freedom and a lot of things were taken care of for me, so extra time, and I did a lot of work around the place and that got me a laptop and the internet. First thing was to look around a bit more seriously at who I am, in that violent unit I had the worst dreams, but they centered around me not being the male they thought and not the woman they thought I wanted to be. So lots of looking and getting ideas and information, and the same thing brought me to the old forest and I did the same thing signing in as TS, until I discovered the androgyn section and changed my status, but they left the old one so I had two, it let me go to that section and get in arguments and threats of bans, and that was the first month there. Just a lot of things happened in that place, the ideas and the way I could change things in the definitions and the ideas of how to explain who we are. It all came to a head when they decided they needed to clamp down on us because a couple people couldn't figure out the what kind of creature are you in the forest. None of them could, it became apparent in a week or so from it beginning that they just had no idea what we were talking about. The idea was simple enough, instead of using the same old tired explanations, do it in the form of a creature that you'd like to be in the forest. The forest was that section for us, and it was growing all the time, and the explanations that we are not on the road from the binary cities just threw them to no end, and that idea was central to us. They had us pegged as the poor things that just didn't know who they are and of course we are all somewhere on that line, the road, the spectrum really. But ti got tilted a lot in the ways people expressed themselves in their own stories, which interacted with others stories, and it all was in character. Drove the nuts, they couldn't follow it at all and that was their deciding thing that we were plotting to take over the world, Pinkie. So they just harassed the crap out of us instead of just considering that we did know ourselves and where telling them all along, but fingers in the ears and a steady drone of nananananana from them. Long story short, we quit and everyone found this forum that Echelonhunt made and it's been what, three years here now? They are still over there guarding the old forest they burned to the ground because they can't think in terms of reality that they are a part of the problem. So there...
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2,316
Yuki
1,762
Aug 24, 2016 11:03:57 GMT 8
August 2016
violynne
Non-Binary
They/Their/Them
Pansexual
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Post by Yuki on Feb 23, 2019 1:03:09 GMT 8
I remember finding out that nonbinary was a thing you could be, and immediately having that "ah-ha" moment where I knew that was me and it explained so much.
But then, I didn't want that. My life was already difficult and I already had other things that made me seem different to other people, so I didn't want another one. I didn't want another thing that I'd have to explain, or that would make people see me as even more "other".
So for a few years I tried to hide it and pretend it wasn't real. I made excuses for why I might feel like that. I didn't doubt other people's identity... just my own. I bought really feminine clothes because I knew that would make my mom happy, to finally see me in a dress, and I thought if I tried hard enough I could be comfortable with being a woman.
But it only made me feel worse.
I met my husband during my really feminine phase. So when I finally couldn't do it anymore, and I came out to him, he didn't know what to do with that information or what to think about it. He got scared of how much I might change.
But after I came out to him, I found these forums and joined, because forums are my easiest way to socialize. (reading full responses and replying on my own time, vs something that works fast like Twitter or a chat room) So I wanted forums, and I wanted people with similar experiences... but there aren't many spaces in forums for nonbinary people. So I joined this one.
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0
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1,352
Becky
1,514
Mar 19, 2018 2:50:15 GMT 8
March 2018
rebeccas
Demigirl
Androgynous
In private, feminine
They/Their/Them
(she/her/hers in safe spaces)
Queer
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Post by Becky on Feb 23, 2019 2:49:14 GMT 8
I was running day to day with low-level depression about my identity, and was trying to live with it. For some reason, when I hit my 40's, I couldn't just coast along anymore. I was getting really, really dysphoric, and was starting to have some pretty dark thoughts.
After a LONG time of surfing YouTube videos and other websites, I discovered that non-binary was a thing. I never resonated with the idea of becoming a full transwoman, and was finding it really hard to pretend to be a cisgender man. It was like a light bulb going off in my head when I began to read about non-binary identities.
After that, I decided that I could join a forum as a woman and live out that life online while trying to do the cisgender guy thing in real life. That didn't last long. This forum helped me accept my identity, and begin to live that identity in real life as well as online. I really, honestly think this forum and the folks on it saved me from self harm. I was headed that way.
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888
charley83
Everyone elses crazy is my normal
848
Dec 1, 2018 1:02:00 GMT 8
November 2018
charley83
Other
Non binary
Gender Neutral
Depends on the day as to how I present.
She/Her
Pansexual
Demi-Pan
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Post by charley83 on Mar 1, 2019 1:41:52 GMT 8
Ive always felt different. Was never avle to put into words how I felt. I wasn't really a girl but I didnt feel completely boy. I knew about trans but I was taught that if you were trans you were either born a girl but felt like a boy or born a boy and felt like a girl. So I just figured I was different and just like my defining sexuality at the time I just wrote it off as I wasn't normal but thats ok. Ive never cared one way or another how people saw me.
Then last year I was reading a book, ok lets be honest I was reading a romance novel, that one of the main characters identified as amab non binary. So this got me thinking about my gender so I went into research mode. I wanted to find others like me. My research let me here. It also led me to a facebook group that I joined first but I didnt feel a connection to anyone there. The majority seemed to be afab like me but they were alot younger and I noticed that they were all carbon copies of each other. It was like there was a stereotype they had all decided to follow and that was not how I was. They talked about cutting all thier hair off and wearing binders with mens button down shirts and skinny jeans (the worst fashion choice ever!) These people all wore bowties with converse shoes. Now I am normally not one to judge but these people just brought out something in me. They tried to say I wasnt NB because I wore my hair longer and prefered scrub pants and athletic pants with hoodies. That if I was afab non binary why would I wear makeup if I was trying to look like a guy. I had to get out of there quick and I hopped on over here and realized that everyone is unique in how they present themselves. They dont judge me for how I present. They dont push to make me something I'm not. Oh and most of everyone is older like me! I felt welcomed and supported. If I'm having a bad day I can either vent or just sit back and wait for ativan to go off on a tangent and get my mind into something else.
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1
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7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 1, 2019 5:12:27 GMT 8
Ive always felt different. Was never avle to put into words how I felt. I wasn't really a girl but I didnt feel completely boy. I knew about trans but I was taught that if you were trans you were either born a girl but felt like a boy or born a boy and felt like a girl. So I just figured I was different and just like my defining sexuality at the time I just wrote it off as I wasn't normal but thats ok. Ive never cared one way or another how people saw me. Then last year I was reading a book, ok lets be honest I was reading a romance novel, that one of the main characters identified as amab non binary. So this got me thinking about my gender so I went into research mode. I wanted to find others like me. My research let me here. It also led me to a facebook group that I joined first but I didnt feel a connection to anyone there. The majority seemed to be afab like me but they were alot younger and I noticed that they were all carbon copies of each other. It was like there was a stereotype they had all decided to follow and that was not how I was. They talked about cutting all thier hair off and wearing binders with mens button down shirts and skinny jeans (the worst fashion choice ever!) These people all wore bowties with converse shoes. Now I am normally not one to judge but these people just brought out something in me. They tried to say I wasnt NB because I wore my hair longer and prefered scrub pants and athletic pants with hoodies. That if I was afab non binary why would I wear makeup if I was trying to look like a guy. I had to get out of there quick and I hopped on over here and realized that everyone is unique in how they present themselves. They dont judge me for how I present. They dont push to make me something I'm not. Oh and most of everyone is older like me! I felt welcomed and supported. If I'm having a bad day I can either vent or just sit back and wait for ativan to go off on a tangent and get my mind into something else. Rofl Lot in that post honey. I'm feeling nostalgic. 6 years ago I reached out at the old forest in the mtf city. As I think back, I still get sad about some of it, and emotional about others of it. The mtf narrative would have killed me. This place here was our safe spot. Dysfunctional, flawed, and crucial.
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Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
1,707
Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Mar 1, 2019 9:37:06 GMT 8
Ive always felt different. Was never avle to put into words how I felt. I wasn't really a girl but I didnt feel completely boy. I knew about trans but I was taught that if you were trans you were either born a girl but felt like a boy or born a boy and felt like a girl. So I just figured I was different and just like my defining sexuality at the time I just wrote it off as I wasn't normal but thats ok. Ive never cared one way or another how people saw me. Then last year I was reading a book, ok lets be honest I was reading a romance novel, that one of the main characters identified as amab non binary. So this got me thinking about my gender so I went into research mode. I wanted to find others like me. My research let me here. It also led me to a facebook group that I joined first but I didnt feel a connection to anyone there. The majority seemed to be afab like me but they were alot younger and I noticed that they were all carbon copies of each other. It was like there was a stereotype they had all decided to follow and that was not how I was. They talked about cutting all thier hair off and wearing binders with mens button down shirts and skinny jeans (the worst fashion choice ever!) These people all wore bowties with converse shoes. Now I am normally not one to judge but these people just brought out something in me. They tried to say I wasnt NB because I wore my hair longer and prefered scrub pants and athletic pants with hoodies. That if I was afab non binary why would I wear makeup if I was trying to look like a guy. I had to get out of there quick and I hopped on over here and realized that everyone is unique in how they present themselves. They dont judge me for how I present. They dont push to make me something I'm not. Oh and most of everyone is older like me! I felt welcomed and supported. If I'm having a bad day I can either vent or just sit back and wait for ativan to go off on a tangent and get my mind into something else. Rofl Lot in that post honey. I'm feeling nostalgic. 6 years ago I reached out at the old forest in the mtf city. As I think back, I still get sad about some of it, and emotional about others of it. The mtf narrative would have killed me. This place here was our safe spot. Dysfunctional, flawed, and crucial. That narrative still gets me sometimes, part of me just wants to be Leena all the time, and probably always will.
I like to think it's the people rather than the place that are important. Some are no longer here, and some never came over here, but also some found this forum without going to that one first. This forum is better for non-binary people than that place ever was.
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0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Mar 1, 2019 9:43:44 GMT 8
Rofl Lot in that post honey. I'm feeling nostalgic. 6 years ago I reached out at the old forest in the mtf city. As I think back, I still get sad about some of it, and emotional about others of it. The mtf narrative would have killed me. This place here was our safe spot. Dysfunctional, flawed, and crucial. That narrative still gets me sometimes, part of me just wants to be Leena all the time, and probably always will.
Me too. That path exists, I choose not to take it.
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704
0
Feb 21, 2024 9:02:26 GMT 8
408
Iona
293
Mar 6, 2019 21:43:50 GMT 8
March 2019
jos
Non-Binary
transfeminine / agender
She/Her
She/her//they/them
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Post by Iona on Mar 7, 2019 19:57:58 GMT 8
I was running day to day with low-level depression about my identity, and was trying to live with it. For some reason, when I hit my 40's, I couldn't just coast along anymore. I was getting really, really dysphoric, and was starting to have some pretty dark thoughts. After a LONG time of surfing YouTube videos and other websites, I discovered that non-binary was a thing. I never resonated with the idea of becoming a full transwoman, and was finding it really hard to pretend to be a cisgender man. It was like a light bulb going off in my head when I began to read about non-binary identities. This resonates so much with me - I could have written it myself. But that is pretty much where I am right now. Fortunately when I could see and accept that the feminine was genuinely a part of me I found I could love the masculine as well as the feminine in me more than I ever had before. But despite being in my 40s I know I'm only really at the beginning of my journey. My 'natural' inclination is to suppress the feminine and just go with the masculine. Which feels anything but natural. I'm trying to give the feminine a bit more space now though. This seems to be a space where I can be my female self. I can't really in real life. I am about 6'5 and very unconfident to begin with. And I live in rural canada - which is great, but in stark contrast to the anonymity of London where I moved from. Oh, yes - so what brought me here? I wanted to find somewhere I could ramble on with some thoughts that have been pent up for decades! And do a whole lot of listening too. So, thank you!
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RAYtch
Full Member
Posts: 182
Gender: FTM
Presentation: Masculine
Pronouns: He/His/Him
Pronouns: They/Their/them
Orientation: Heterosexual
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613
0
Sept 30, 2023 0:32:05 GMT 8
108
RAYtch
182
Aug 5, 2018 14:47:06 GMT 8
August 2018
raytch
FTM
Masculine
He/His/Him
They/Their/them
Heterosexual
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Post by RAYtch on Mar 7, 2019 23:33:12 GMT 8
Ive always felt different. Was never avle to put into words how I felt. I wasn't really a girl but I didnt feel completely boy. I knew about trans but I was taught that if you were trans you were either born a girl but felt like a boy or born a boy and felt like a girl. So I just figured I was different and just like my defining sexuality at the time I just wrote it off as I wasn't normal but thats ok. Ive never cared one way or another how people saw me. Then last year I was reading a book, ok lets be honest I was reading a romance novel, that one of the main characters identified as amab non binary. So this got me thinking about my gender so I went into research mode. I wanted to find others like me. My research let me here. It also led me to a facebook group that I joined first but I didnt feel a connection to anyone there. The majority seemed to be afab like me but they were alot younger and I noticed that they were all carbon copies of each other. It was like there was a stereotype they had all decided to follow and that was not how I was. They talked about cutting all thier hair off and wearing binders with mens button down shirts and skinny jeans (the worst fashion choice ever!) These people all wore bowties with converse shoes. Now I am normally not one to judge but these people just brought out something in me. They tried to say I wasnt NB because I wore my hair longer and prefered scrub pants and athletic pants with hoodies. That if I was afab non binary why would I wear makeup if I was trying to look like a guy. I had to get out of there quick and I hopped on over here and realized that everyone is unique in how they present themselves. They dont judge me for how I present. They dont push to make me something I'm not. Oh and most of everyone is older like me! I felt welcomed and supported. If I'm having a bad day I can either vent or just sit back and wait for ativan to go off on a tangent and get my mind into something else. Hi there 🙂 what a great post. Your experience certainly demonstrates how people feel the need to belong (the other people in the Facebook group) yet we live in such a diverse world. So many aspects of life feels like it revolves around gender when actually, a sense of freedom to express oneself is important. Don’t get me wrong, a sense of belonging can be reassuring but a balance will allow people to find who they are. I came onto this message board last July and was met by such a warming welcome and again there’s no pressure to conform to one thing or another. I identify as a trans Male but there’s an element of me that is feminine. I’m glad that you have found this board 🙂👍
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0
Nov 16, 2020 2:16:09 GMT 8
1,517
Von
1,634
Oct 5, 2017 2:57:54 GMT 8
October 2017
von
NB / Demimale
Soft Masculine
They/Their/Them
He/Him/His
Queer
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Post by Von on Mar 29, 2019 0:00:59 GMT 8
I had come across this place looking for places to be me, after having been out a short while... I knew there was places on Reddit, but I personally hate that place like no tomorrow because it so impersonal and full of vitriol. I didn't even know if this was an active forum or not so I moved on, didn't wanna take a chance.
I mentioned to my therapist at the time not having anyone to talk to besides her about NB stuff. So she whips her laptop out, and a few minutes later starts reading some excerpts from this forum. I ask her for timestamps. "Posted today," she says. So I get her to write the URL down on a post-it note, and I take it home. I end up recognizing a lot of posts from browsing before. So in the end I take a deep breath and get myself registered and make my first posts.
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ceremony
Junior Member
Posts: 83
Gender: Non-Binary
Gender: non-binary
Presentation: Male
Presentation: Wouldn't care, don't care
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: Heterosexual
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747
0
Mar 1, 2020 0:59:45 GMT 8
36
ceremony
83
Jul 2, 2019 1:02:07 GMT 8
July 2019
ceremony
Non-Binary
non-binary
Male
Wouldn't care, don't care
They/Their/Them
Heterosexual
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Post by ceremony on Jul 5, 2019 1:27:48 GMT 8
I need a place to think about, discuss and support being nb. I've been online a long time and chose this over 2 others for its format. I've just now noticed there are current posts where being nb is realized later in life.
Trigger Warning: A mention of sexual assault. . . . .
I have followed trans rights for maybe 4 years, and that along with dealing with a teen rape, I've been in ptsd therapy for about 3 yrs. My T has been supportive when I discuss my body dysmorphia and my seeking Pride events. That last is easy where I live. However, I've only been to 1 each year for 3 years. It's given further topics to discuss.
I've just begun to awaken the long dormant femme in me. I pushed it away mist of my life, but have been very supportive all these decades. Now late in my 5th decade, I want to be me. There's my ling time family, and many things to be mindful.
I wrote this a day after the Pride concert I attended late June this year.
Singular "they".
When they found what made sense, relief and new welbeing began. They wanted others to know, to accept. The decades Ceremony didn't know and having new questions can't wait. The new path will embrace intercategorical complexity, and many interpersonal considerations.
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131
0
1
May 16, 2024 7:57:51 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,583
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Jul 5, 2019 7:08:34 GMT 8
I need a place to think about, discuss and support being nb. I've been online a long time and chose this over 2 others for its format. I've just now noticed there are current posts where being nb is realized later in life. Trigger Warning: A mention of sexual assault. . . . . I have followed trans rights for maybe 4 years, and that along with dealing with a teen rape, I've been in ptsd therapy for about 3 yrs. My T has been supportive when I discuss my body dysmorphia and my seeking Pride events. That last is easy where I live. However, I've only been to 1 each year for 3 years. It's given further topics to discuss. I've just begun to awaken the long dormant femme in me. I pushed it away mist of my life, but have been very supportive all these decades. Now late in my 5th decade, I want to be me. There's my ling time family, and many things to be mindful. I wrote this a day after the Pride concert I attended late June this year. Singular "they". When they found what made sense, relief and new welbeing began. They wanted others to know, to accept. The decades Ceremony didn't know and having new questions can't wait. The new path will embrace intercategorical complexity, and many interpersonal considerations. Many of us hit the 50s and just cant run anymore. And bevause of the families and thedecades it can be a hugecrisis. We are all different but there are many commonalities. You will find them here
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0
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4,666
Ativan Prescribed
8,479
Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jul 5, 2019 10:00:48 GMT 8
They is used in a singular all the time and people don't realize they are using it that way. The best example is a person far off who's gender isn't apparent, they are doing something that the binaries can't quite tell what it is. One of them will ask the question, what are THEY doing? and it won't miss a beat when the others say they don't know. Just one example of how the binary argument that they isn't singular, they are just in a singular mindset of can't be, no no no no no, mustn't give in to this. And its all because they have all identified parts of themselves as having aspects of either gender in their minds, which is really them realizing they are NB to a degree, everyone is. It's only if you want to call yourself NB that it matters, if someone doesn't want to, that's their business, just as your gender is your business and not anyone else's, even family. You don't owe anyone an explanation, they will think what they want to think anyways, but if they persist, then ask them what their gender is and why they chose that, and to prove that they are. People questioning others genders are doing just that, demanding proof of it for them, so make them prove theirs, that they are so ingrained with their sex being their gender, they will use that as proof, but it isn't at all, it is only proof that they indeed were born with a sex that is theirs. Gender is the thing that you think of yourself as being, and everyone, there are no exceptions, have questioned theirs at one time or another, because they can see parts of themselves as having traits of what they consider the other gender, they are not and never have been 100%. Off track here, but in the argument that they isn't and can't be singular, they give away that they are not secure in their gender, otherwise they wouldn't argue a losing argument.
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