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Post by Valerie on Aug 15, 2017 7:16:51 GMT 8
So I went through the diet/fitness, and mental health threads to be sure this hasn't been brought up already. But I definitely know I wanna like create this thread as an open, and honest safe space to discuss eating disorder, and actually support one another with recovery, no judgement, not feel alone in this struggle, and just have a space to speak out on these issues, especially since it's deemed as taboo to even discuss bc it's like a topic that society avoids like, no no no we don't talk about that.
So I been listening to a feminist fitness podcast that also discusses eating disorder recovery, which has really been making me think more about my unhealthy eating habits/relationship with food. This morning I've been questioning if I'm like border line eating disorder. Like I know I have a really unhealthy relationship with food/eating habits, but I been realizing lately, and figuring out if I'm heading towards borderline ED. Like I mean I eat don't get me wrong, but it's more like i tend try to only eat if my stomach growls/feel hungry if I don't I won't eat, but then sometimes I'll just eat something only to eat so I don't go without eating, or if I'm like ohh I haven't eaten all day let me go grab something real quick! But when I do eat I feel really guilty, bad, and regret eating, and wish I hadn't even if it's like the only thing I've eaten all day! Or other times I'll notice I'm binge eating, and just eating a lot just to eat not bc I'm hungry, but those I notice if I'm stressing/depressed then I'll eat to comfort, and deal. And I've had these off, and on in between eating habits for quite while now, like it's either I don't eat anything at all/very little, or I binge and just eat a lot. There's no healthy balance that I have with my eating. It's just I just I feel really bad, and gross after I eat. Like I could be hungry, and eat something and it'll be soo good/amazing to eat, but then afterwards a little while later I just get these strong feelings of guilt, and disgust with myself, and wish I hadn't eaten.
Or sometimes I'll not even eat even if I'm hungry! I'll just ignore it, or forget to eat, and then the hungry feeling just goes, and I don't bother getting something to eat anymore then bc I'm not hungry anymore. Kinda like Saturday, Sunday, and today. Saturday I super over caffeinated myself bc I got up early, and like when I did get hungry which is usually later like I'm never hungry when I first wake up and wait few hours until I am, but like I ended up early to my counseling appointment, and do I killed time getting another cup of coffee, and I was like hmmm I'm hungry let me get something to eat, but then I never did bc I was like noo don't bother since I was planning on treating myself to my fav vegan place for lunch after counseling, so that's what I did. My lunch Saturday was all I had to eat that day. Then yesterday, I ended up doing the same thing I got hungry, and got a slice of pizza, and was still hungry so I got a taco, and chili cheese fries as well, and it was all so delicious I was in heaven while eating, but then as usual afterwards I felt really really guilty, and disgusted with myself, and I didn't eat rest of the day. As for today well... only thing I've had so far were 2 coffees, and my vitamins I take every morning. Like I felt hungry few times, and was like I should get something to eat, but then my thoughts were like, but are you actually hungry? And I put it off, and the hungry feeling went away again. I'm thinking of taking an apple when I get to work just to have something in my stomach, and drink water all night. I've noticed in my other eating habits I'll not eat all day, but when I get to work I'll just eat piece of bread, an apple, bag of chips, something. So I don't know if I've just completely messed up my eating schedule with my body by binge eating at night, and that's why I'm not hungry much during day or morning? Or I guess it could be that I'm not eating all day and then eat at night, and I just want more from not eating.
But I never considered the thought that I could be dealing with an ED because I don't starve myself, or purge. I mean I did 2 years ago, I went 2 weeks without eating, but I grabbed hold of myself, and was like this isn't healthy you need to eat before you get worse with this, and I started eating again. But then I started purging after eating for a little while, and I was like no stop it! You're hurting yourself! And I stopped purging as well, and I guess I noticed after that I just was binge eating a lot like a lot! But yea listening to podcast, and hearing other people experience with EDs, over dieting, how they feel after eating, and over exercising; I've caught myself thinking to myself I've done that, or I felt that same way! I mean it really has me questioning my habits lately! I mean I know in June I was overly watching everything I ate, and everytime I ate, I made sure I did sit-ups/jumping jacks, or running, and if I didn't do something after eating I'd worry about gaining weight. Like I weigh myself almost every morning, and when I see numbers going down, my instant thought is goods I'll keep up with not eating that much, and eat less today. It's really messed up way to think, and I know it's wrong as soon as I think it. But wow seriously I just this morning I been really thinking about this, and questioning my habits lately/in the past. Like I knew i had very unhealthy eating habits, and relationship with food, but I never stopped to consider that I been dancing on this very very thin borderline of an eating disorder. Because like I been trying to be careful with not calorie counting because I knew it'd make me anxious even more over everything i ate, and could see myself developing an eating disorder, plus I at least try to eat something regardless if I'm hungry, or not. But now with the realization, and questioning my eating habits, I'm like wondering how close am I actually to having an eating disorder? I gotta remember to talk about this, and work through this at my next therapy session, and see what he says. But this realization is so crucial, and has me trying to keep this in mind, and work on eating better, and not doing this on/off starving, or bingeing I've been doing. No matter how uncomfortable I feel with making myself come to terms with this, but I take it as an important sign that I have to question it more, and that there's something there I need to work on being cognizant about.
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Post by Jennifer (Tink) on Aug 15, 2017 8:40:03 GMT 8
I am not a therapist so I wouldn't even touch what ED is defined as. But for me I KNOW I have issues with food. I eat when I am sad, I eat when I am happy, I eat just to eat. Though within the last 2 months I have it under control.
Disorders come in so many forms, but if I remember correctly sometimes (and I mean sometimes) they are directly linked to something else that has happened. For me it was being isolated for so long from my ex wife. I had no friends and all I did was work. So food became my comfort.
I would definitely talk to your councilor about it. Maybe they can give you some insight on it.
But this is a great thread. Coming from an obese person, a place to discuss eating issues, habits, tips, etc... is a lifeline.
:hugs:
-- Jenn
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Post by Valerie on Aug 24, 2017 18:32:16 GMT 8
I haven't been doing so well with being better. I been barely eating lately, and going for 10 mile bike rides(which is great for calorie burning, but I haven't been eating other than drinking tons of coffee) yesterday I was better, and had 2 fruit cups though! Which I know still isn't good since it's very low calorie for day. Right now I'm struggling with wanting to get coffee, and something for breakfast, but I keep worrying about the calories/looking at the calories, and talk myself outta it. I'll try get something at cafe on train. I really gotta be sures I eat something I can't let myself get bad again.
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Post by Jennifer (Tink) on Aug 24, 2017 19:52:12 GMT 8
I haven't been doing so well with being better. I been barely eating lately, and going for 10 mile bike rides(which is great for calorie burning, but I haven't been eating other than drinking tons of coffee) yesterday I was better, and had 2 fruit cups though! Which I know still isn't good since it's very low calorie for day. Right now I'm struggling with wanting to get coffee, and something for breakfast, but I keep worrying about the calories/looking at the calories, and talk myself outta it. I'll try get something at cafe on train. I really gotta be sures I eat something I can't let myself get bad again. Hey Val, have you mentioned any of this to your therapist? Maybe they can give you some insight on what may be the cause. Either way, we are here for you, with open arms !!! But do take care of yourself damn it !! I need to meet you at some point !!! :cuddly hugs: -- Jenn
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Post by Valerie on Aug 24, 2017 19:57:52 GMT 8
Yea I will! My therapist appointment is next weekend! I'm trying to make mental notes on what to say, and how to word what I'm trying to say/feel. But thanks I'll be fine I'm on way to Charlotte now, and my friends will make sure I eat I bet! I kinda been overly worrying about everything I eat bc I wanted to stay around 150lbs so I could look good and thin when I see friends!
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Post by Jennifer (Tink) on Aug 24, 2017 20:06:16 GMT 8
Yea I will! My therapist appointment is next weekend! I'm trying to make mental notes on what to say, and how to word what I'm trying to say/feel. But thanks I'll be fine I'm on way to Charlotte now, and my friends will make sure I eat I bet! I kinda been overly worrying about everything I eat bc I wanted to stay around 150lbs so I could look good and thin when I see friends! I was planning on heading up to Charlotte on Saturday But with my dad in the hospital now I don't know if I can make it. But we will see. I would love to go to Pride !
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Post by Valerie on Aug 24, 2017 20:08:24 GMT 8
Yea I will! My therapist appointment is next weekend! I'm trying to make mental notes on what to say, and how to word what I'm trying to say/feel. But thanks I'll be fine I'm on way to Charlotte now, and my friends will make sure I eat I bet! I kinda been overly worrying about everything I eat bc I wanted to stay around 150lbs so I could look good and thin when I see friends! I was planning on heading up to Charlotte on Saturday But with my dad in the hospital now I don't know if I can make it. But we will see. I would love to go to Pride ! Yea Pride will be so much fun, and I get to spend it with my besties! Charlotte Pride will be my 4th pride this year.
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Post by Trinity on Aug 24, 2017 20:37:42 GMT 8
Google overeaters anonymous
Deals with both sides of the coin.
Eat healthy...if you cut weight do it for 24 to 48 hrs then revert back to 1800 to 2400 cal inputs
On full dose mtf its 1800 normal for maint 2000 low dose 2400 male levels
Let the body fat redist 150 is healthy at your hieght
Your boobs need food
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Post by EchelonHunt on Aug 25, 2017 22:02:45 GMT 8
I'm going to try visiting overeaters anonymous in my area, there's one in Perth on Monday at 7pm which is conveniently after my therapist session. I intend to go there and I may have my therapist help me sort through my binge-eating issues because it's gotten worse. A combination of my therapist's help and OA might be what I need. I desperately need help and support without judgement because there's zero support at home. My mum desperately wants to lose weight but like me, she binges, my dad diets sometimes but he eventually gives up and goes back to eating whatever he likes - he's been buying himself takeaway for lunch more and more lately which is concerning. My sister, who's older than me, doesn't live at home anymore but when I ask for help, she is on the extreme end of being fit and healthy (she has tendency to obsess over calories, fears gaining even 1-2kg will make her fat/ugly, etc. This is further fuelled by her husband who is obsessed with being healthy)
I don't want to binge-eat and be uncomfortable in my body but at the same time, I have zero interest in being obsessive over my weight to the point that I won't allow myself to enjoy a meal if I really want to treat myself. I just want to be in the middle, I want to eat sensibly, have fun and not worry (excessively) over the number of calories or what number the scales show.
It probably does not help that I've been stressed out about studies, trying to catch up, while still feeling a bit tender and run-down from my revision surgery (liposuction's a B).
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Post by Valerie on Aug 30, 2017 3:07:26 GMT 8
See as much as I know it's important to count calories/watch what you eat mostly healthy! I try to stay away from dieting/counting cals bc I know then I get overly obsessive with it, and leading to me worrying over everything I eat, or convincing myself to not eat outta trying to stay thin. Like I know it's not how much you eat, and more about what you eat (or is it other way around I can't remember?) but ugghhh I really struggle with trying to keep a healthy balanced with eating and eating enough. I noticed if I don't actually try "dieting " which I feel is toxic anyways and kinda leads people down this overly obsessing/watching what you eat path. It's like idk sorry my thoughts aren't coming across fluid or coherent I'm exhausted, but yea I need to find healthy place of eating and just healthy small portions instead of junk/tons of food or like starving myself. Idk I worry that it's a really tricky thing to navigate bc trying to help or suggest counting/calories or dieting is still feeding into someone who struggles with under eating, and doesn't really help them overcome it. So like it's hard to you know try and help them without using terms or words that could lead them down to their eating disorder path? Idk what I'm trying say sorry! But I been eating all weekend and today I had a breakfast sandwich and coffee! I'm doing better! I think...
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Post by Yuki on Aug 30, 2017 3:36:35 GMT 8
See as much as I know it's important to count calories/watch what you eat mostly healthy! I try to stay away from dieting/counting cals bc I know then I get overly obsessive with it, and leading to me worrying over everything I eat, or convincing myself to not eat outta trying to stay thin. Like I know it's not how much you eat, and more about what you eat (or is it other way around I can't remember?) but ugghhh I really struggle with trying to keep a healthy balanced with eating and eating enough. I noticed if I don't actually try "dieting " which I feel is toxic anyways and kinda leads people down this overly obsessing/watching what you eat path. It's like idk sorry my thoughts aren't coming across fluid or coherent I'm exhausted, but yea I need to find healthy place of eating and just healthy small portions instead of junk/tons of food or like starving myself. Idk I worry that it's a really tricky thing to navigate bc trying to help or suggest counting/calories or dieting is still feeding into someone who struggles with under eating, and doesn't really help them overcome it. So like it's hard to you know try and help them without using terms or words that could lead them down to their eating disorder path? Idk what I'm trying say sorry! But I been eating all weekend and today I had a breakfast sandwich and coffee! I'm doing better! I think... This is why I don't want to have a scale in the house. I mean, I do kind of want one. But at the same time, I feel like I'd just obsess over the number on it and trying to make it smaller, vs actually getting healthy. Because I've done that before.
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Post by Jennifer (Tink) on Aug 30, 2017 4:45:11 GMT 8
I used to weigh myself everyday. But I have noticed that ever since I started HRT it doesn't match correctly. What I mean is, my clothes are starting to fit better. They are more and more comfortable and I am more confident in them. My weight hasn't changed much but things are slowly starting to move into place. I eat normally (maybe not healthy all the time) but I don't fret over it like I used to. Once I solve the severe pain problems I will expand back out to more exercise but I will stick with walking for now. Feeling good about yourself and being happy with your body means more than the numbers. It's about being healthy, not stressing over the numbers. Do what you do and don't worry about it. You will know if you starting sliding on eating unhealthy. You just need to be honest with yourself. That's the toughest part. This is coming from someone who is obese and knows what needs to be done Already went through the up down and up of 140 pounds. So I know both sides of the argument.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2017 4:27:00 GMT 8
There is nothing wrong with fasting. I did it to lose a lot of weight quite a while ago. When you obsess over a perfect weight then it gets a little hairy. I fast all the time. It actually cleans out my system. I don't obsess about my weight though. I am a chubby woman at 165 so screw it. I do get most of my calories from wine though.
If you do obsess over our weight you will still look in the mirror and see a fat person at 80 pounds. Some nutritionist do say that you need to eat but with your height there is a healthy weight also. I have been hungry and that is a bitch. I have been half starved with only two bologna sandwiches per day.
If you want to count calories then count at least 1500 to 2500 per day if you want to lose weight. I co with 900 per day to lose weight but I have no eating disorders. If you do having a disorder to overeat then fill your stomach with water. If you feel hungry again then fill your stomach again with water.
Whatever you do just make sure you have enough caloric intake to take care of bodily functions. Digestion itself burns calories so one candy bar with high sugar content burns more calories than a pack of peanut butter crackers.
The more you do the more calories you need. But the average is 3500 calories per day depending on your metabolism. And always remember there is a thing called body dysmorphic syndrome that is just as bad and gender dysphoria.
I would say to fast for two days and let your stomach shrink and then when hungry eat slowly until you fell no hunger pangs and then keep it up. If you have a tendency to overeat then the stomach stretches and it takes more food to satisfy your hunger. If you fast for a few days then your stomach shrinks and it takes less to satisfy your hunger and then eat slowly because the brain is slower than the stomach to feel full.
But you have to eat accordingly because the body runs on fuel in the way of calories. Sometimes you may need 5000 calories per day and other times only 1500 per day. But when the stomach is used to 5000 it stretches to accommodate the food and if feels uncomfortable so then eat low calorie food or fill with water to quiet the pangs.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 14, 2017 6:37:46 GMT 8
I would say a person should consult a dietitian if they have questions that can't be answered by opinions alone. There are on the Internet groups that can help, and information that is more precise. The average calories per day has led to a ever climbing obesity problem in this country as well as in others. If your stomach is used to 5000 calories a day, then it is a lot more than the sometimes need because of physical exertion. And to fill that gap once you start on a senseable diet with water, you're just keeping the need for fullness going. It takes a lot of work for the average person to lose weight, for some it takes professional help, for a few it takes just knocking off the extra's. Changing up your calorie intake each day really screws with your metabolism, just like fasting does, if that worked for everyone, it would be common practice. But it's not because of the harm it can do unless a person has gotten used to it over a long period of time. Fasting once in a while isn't bad, but fasting to lose weight will not get you there, you'll fill the gap with high calories once you stop. The ease that we have in getting foods that are just crap, nutritional value of zilch, additives and more that actually make them addicting is the normal for Americans, there should be more regulation on the crap they are allowed to keep putting into food despite the obvious harm they do. A large share of what is available to the average person is crap, if you live on a budget, it's even worse, you can't afford all the good stuff, so you eat the crap and hope for the best, and usually that involves getting enough of the addictive crap so people become obese. The problem isn't as easily defined as just stop eating, it's getting the crap out of foods that they are allowed to put in them, especially the low-cost stuff that the average person lives on. They are talking about regulating the nicotine in cigarettes, but they will still allow you to eat crap for food, obesity kills more people than cigarettes do. There has been some gains made in getting healthier foods, but true healthy food is rare in a supermarket, you have to know and be selective in what you eat, and you have to be able to afford it as well. But with the deregulation that the trump republicans want to have, you can pretty much kiss all the gains goodbye, to save the dividend checks for the filthy rich, who can afford to have dietitians for themselves. It all revolves around how much the filthy rich want to screw the rest of the country. Look at what the average person can afford for food and look at the options you have available for you, it's hard to pick through the shouldn't to get to the should. The selections they have at so many stores is usually the cheaper brands that aren't doing you any favors, so they can compete with the big box stores that also have the cheapest because what they stock is crap as well, and the people who make out the best in this is the rich. It isn't as easy as saying don't eat, it's really a matter of what you eat, not how little you eat. Some of the worst you can do is going to cause weight gain even if you do limit calories. Exercise is also needed to be able to lose weight effectively and to keep it off, but that can cost money and time that the average person doesn't have enough of, so it takes a well rounded approach to eating right and getting the right exercise, along with the ability to stay consistent with them.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 15, 2017 6:48:04 GMT 8
I would say a person should consult a dietitian if they have questions that can't be answered by opinions alone. There are on the Internet groups that can help, and information that is more precise. The average calories per day has led to a ever climbing obesity problem in this country as well as in others. If your stomach is used to 5000 calories a day, then it is a lot more than the sometimes need because of physical exertion. And to fill that gap once you start on a senseable diet with water, you're just keeping the need for fullness going. It takes a lot of work for the average person to lose weight, for some it takes professional help, for a few it takes just knocking off the extra's. Changing up your calorie intake each day really screws with your metabolism, just like fasting does, if that worked for everyone, it would be common practice. But it's not because of the harm it can do unless a person has gotten used to it over a long period of time. Fasting once in a while isn't bad, but fasting to lose weight will not get you there, you'll fill the gap with high calories once you stop. The ease that we have in getting foods that are just crap, nutritional value of zilch, additives and more that actually make them addicting is the normal for Americans, there should be more regulation on the crap they are allowed to keep putting into food despite the obvious harm they do. A large share of what is available to the average person is crap, if you live on a budget, it's even worse, you can't afford all the good stuff, so you eat the crap and hope for the best, and usually that involves getting enough of the addictive crap so people become obese. The problem isn't as easily defined as just stop eating, it's getting the crap out of foods that they are allowed to put in them, especially the low-cost stuff that the average person lives on. They are talking about regulating the nicotine in cigarettes, but they will still allow you to eat crap for food, obesity kills more people than cigarettes do. There has been some gains made in getting healthier foods, but true healthy food is rare in a supermarket, you have to know and be selective in what you eat, and you have to be able to afford it as well. But with the deregulation that the trump republicans want to have, you can pretty much kiss all the gains goodbye, to save the dividend checks for the filthy rich, who can afford to have dietitians for themselves. It all revolves around how much the filthy rich want to screw the rest of the country. Look at what the average person can afford for food and look at the options you have available for you, it's hard to pick through the shouldn't to get to the should. The selections they have at so many stores is usually the cheaper brands that aren't doing you any favors, so they can compete with the big box stores that also have the cheapest because what they stock is crap as well, and the people who make out the best in this is the rich. It isn't as easy as saying don't eat, it's really a matter of what you eat, not how little you eat. Some of the worst you can do is going to cause weight gain even if you do limit calories. Exercise is also needed to be able to lose weight effectively and to keep it off, but that can cost money and time that the average person doesn't have enough of, so it takes a well rounded approach to eating right and getting the right exercise, along with the ability to stay consistent with them. Yep lower nicotine in cigarettes for the good of the "people" just relates to more tax money. people don't see it that way though because it is for the "greater good". You know what? I have habits and smoking is one of them. But fasting is good. You will not starve to death within 75 days at least. Actually Ativan it is called will power and discipline. But seeing a doctor for any underlying health condition is a good idea before changing average dietary habits. For me personally I can go and have been six days without food. I need to lose weight again and stopped eating. Screw it if I die. Who cares? Calories is like gas for your car. The more you do physically in a day the more you need to maintain. But the stomach is different than a gas tack made form polymer though. It stretches and then once stretched it takes more to getting the satisfaction of being full. All the balloon surgery shit and it used to be stomach stapling to shrink the stomach which has side effects. Oh and the banding too which has some dire side effects in short order, the stomach will shrink on its own of you have the will power to allow it. Also you have to take into effect metabolisms and they are all different. This is due to evolution. I am white and have lighter hair naturally and live in a hot climate. even active I only need roughly 1400 calories a day. I know because I have counted them. In the Army while in basic training I gained weight and not muscle either. I went in at 140 and came out having to be taped. I had to stop eating three meals in the mess hall to get back to my normal healthy weight. My metablolism is different and Holy shit a big T bone on the grill with a baked potato that is more liquid tan solid with real butter is so good but not for me even though I do indulge on the weekends sometimes. On a normal day for me even working in spurt physically then all I need to lose weight is 900 calories and I lose. 1500 then I can maintain. Over 1500 then I gain no matter what I do physically. I have known people that can eat and eat and eat and still be skinny as hell. I really hate them but not really though. But in reality the body needs calories for jsut normal functions and that includes digestion too. But when you wnat to lose wieght then fast if it is OK. I have no underlying healt conditions and if I eat three meals a day then I would probably be bedridden and dead long before now. The best thing I can tell anyone is to fast to lose wieght and then not season your food will cooking it to maintain the wieght. Maybe even eat shit that don't appeal to your tastes. Yeah I know it is such a manly thing to do for a woman but I hunt and have a whole hog and two deer in the freezer butcherd. I ues that on the grill the meat is extremley lean and it takes a little more to chew if not ground the really lean meat os not as satisfying as the fatty meat but... Yeah I know someone will call bullshit about what I am going to say. I spent 6 months eating two bologna sandwiches and a hand full of chips at night. That was it and I am still writing this. I can't prove it and won't even try but I was working minimum wage building boats and hooking. Hooking paid more. My ex boss suggested I be fired and also took me out of town quite a bit and paid me a whole lot more than what he was paying me building his boats that he got rich from. I still maintained the two bologna diet because I knew every weekend I would be called to go to Memphis and spend 2 1/2 days in an upscale hotel room. I was fired because he "knew me". He trashed me when I met someone that did loved me instead of pay me. So then I was nothing but a tranny whore in Flippin. I have been drinking chablis so I will go off and sorry to got so far off topic but... The human body can survive about 75 to 81 days without food but only 3 days without hydration. Unless you have diabetes or other underlying helat conditions then see it that way. Then when you lose have the discipline to maintain. When a god damned double quarter pounder is so satisfying with a large fry that has salt and then washing it down with an ice cold Coke. Maybe think of how good grubs taste. Grubs suck. Ants taste almost citrisy. But the texture of grubs and all the shit that comes out of them whne you smash them..... but they will provide precious calories. So just because there are 5000 Mac Donalds of where you live does not mean that you have to eat it everyday three times a day. Take bacon for instance. How many caolories are in a pound of bacon? Less than a double quarter pounder with cheese and large fries and Coke and then you get the satisfation of lean meat and fat. A lot of people eat for pleasure and I am no exception. I love a Big Mac and Large fries with a Coke loaded with sugar to accent the sltiness of the fries. Most people nowdays eat for taste and texture. Just think that grubs will prvide the same nutrition with all the shit coming out if you chew them. Both will keep you alive but one is pleasing and the other disgusting. Yes reward yourself with taste and texture. But not three meals a day. It sux because I get fat fast. But I go two days without eating and then something pleasing and then go another two days or just eating "healthy" which everything that is healty tastes shitty. I am not a vegetarian so I hate stuff that is not green. I get my vegetables and fruits from fermentation in the way of wine, beer or liquour. But look unless you have diabetes and need the sugar and a steady diet or unless you have mental disorder like anorexia or bulemia then missing a few meals will not kill you. whne you get to what wight you want then lean the discipline to keep that wieght. I was at 160 and now am at 180 and losing by missing meals. I am still alive. It sux when others around you are stuff that smells so good or be healthy? It is so easy to get caught up when others can eat three meals a day but some of us can't and we have realy effecient metabolisms apparently. That really sux when everyone is eating good tasting food and all you can do is dring a mountain dew.
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