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Post by EchelonHunt on Mar 7, 2016 12:18:26 GMT 8
I aim to push the evenlope this year, shifting my neutral/masculine expression to feminine.
However, here's the kicker, I want to do it slowly and subtly so it is natural.
Here is one idea I have thought of.
This but with skinny jeans or black leggings. (Above is supposed to be a dress)
My end goal is to wear something like this. (I love these styles exposing the shoulders or one shoulder.
Not sure it would look good on me but hoping when I reach my goal weight, it'll look the way I want it to.)
And yeah, I'm aware, all black colours. I like black always have, always will. Why change now?
Thoughts? Tips? Advice?
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Post by Valerie on Mar 7, 2016 13:14:53 GMT 8
Omg you have such a great taste! ! I especially love the outfit in the 3rd pic. And who cares if it's all black. Black clothing is sexy!!
I tend to actually have a more punk rock, alternative, and trashy aesthetic myself. Like if i ever get brave enough to dress more feminine i picture in my head; heeled boots, fishnet stockings or thigh high stockings, lacy black skirt, corset or a dress, and my makeup done with dark eyes, maybe a very dark red lips. And maybe a touch of glitter on my face too. But only because i love glitter haha
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Post by EchelonHunt on Mar 7, 2016 14:23:16 GMT 8
OMG, Valerie, do you live inside my head?
The pictures I posted for the end goal in OP is a "tame" version of what I'd like to wear to class. What you described is my dream goal I intend to pursue after reaching the "tame" goal
Outside of class goals?
Punk lolita or aristocrat all the way!!!
I'm a huge sucker for pastel goth style, especially to do with bats and demons, but kinda cringe about the thought of using pastel colours on myself. I love galaxy/space themed clothing because I love SPAAAAACE and I see myself as a non-binary alien
Found this!
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Post by Taka on Mar 7, 2016 17:10:42 GMT 8
the japan club had a stand in my university once, with some students who were visiting from kyouto/osaka. somehow, they'd managed to bring a pink a pink maid outfit, which fit perfectly awkwardly one of the guys, who was very unfeminine. but nobody commented on the weirdness of it, as it was so clearly just for fun.
so if you want to go all the way, it's easier to find a suitable event or special day.
but the subtle will always be ok. particularly if it's black.
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Post by Valerie on Mar 7, 2016 21:55:17 GMT 8
Omg yaaaaasss!!! Lolita punk ahhhh it's soooo cutes!! Same with Lolita goth! ! I will admit i still love going into Hot Topic, and i tend to get my skinny jeans and fishnet/thigh high stockings there. And I've came across a website called Rebel Market. I think that's the name, but omg i love all clothes on there as well.
Hmmm now for subtle looks for classes. Hmm... maybe some converse or vans, with black leggings and a skirt and blouse? Or maybe black leggings with a dress on too. I'm trying to picture stuff in my head, and describe looks as best i best i can.
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Mar 7, 2016 22:18:33 GMT 8
the subtle will always be ok. particularly if it's black. Black. I think today, with the weather being warm enough, a black T over black cargo pants with black tenni runners. *Ranger from the Stephanie Plum Bounty Hunter books, lol.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Oct 5, 2016 22:21:50 GMT 8
Lol, lol, lol. I wanted to shift my expression from neutral/masc to feminine. Still wearing same clothes. The only daring thing was wearing black women shorts that looked fairly casual and gender-neutral. I did get this the other day though but I would never dare wear it to class haha. I don't think my classmates or lecturers would recognise me!
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Post by Trinity on Oct 5, 2016 23:58:34 GMT 8
Hot trap...
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Post by EchelonHunt on Oct 6, 2016 0:04:09 GMT 8
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Orientation: Pansexual
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Post by Ren on Oct 21, 2016 11:29:14 GMT 8
V neck tee shirts could be somewhere to start, as there are plenty of v neck shirts for men and women, and with the women's ones, once you got comfortable with wearing women's ones you could experiment with looser and looser necklines and eventually towards your off the shoulder(s) goal. The transition for jeans shouldn't be too hard, finding different style until you go for skinny jeans. There are also these sort of half sweatpant-pants with elastic cuffs I've seen guys wear that you could transition to leggings. A watch could turn into bracelets, a plain necklace chain could turn into more feminine necklaces. (I don't know if you have pierced ears or want to but you could do the same there.) Scarves are also an options, if the weather allows for it. I hope some of this helps. Good luck
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Post by Deleted on Oct 27, 2016 2:42:50 GMT 8
LOL. I don't want to sound racist. Really I don't but rather this is just from experience. Oriental women are so cute. Everything they wear is adorable. Most western men and women would love to fall for a woman that is Oriental. In the Orient it is different. It is the light eyed light haired girls they find attractive. Yes I spent two years in the Orient. As a lesbian trans woman even in hiding, I myself didn't have anything to do with Western women. I liked the Oriental women, bargirls and so on. But even when I went out with some Korean girls dressed (A long way away from the installation and no where near an military installation at that), Korean men couldn't or didn't care what I had. Most didn't care and those that did wouldn't mind weekend or two with a blonde hair(wig) make up wearing trans woman.
If you do notice one thing about the Oriental Girls wearing the clothing though???? It all looks like something that Cyndi Lauper wore at one time or another minus the sidecut.
So Jayce. I think the first four pics even with the Oriental girl in the first one is a sexy sort of western woman style of sexy. I mean I have blouses like the second and third pics. But the second with the lace 3/4 sleeve off the shoulders is a little longer in the midriff though in my closet.
I mean the clothing from clothes from the Oriental models look like they came from the "Girls Just Wanna' Have Fun" Era.
I think this one is pretty cool if in black and I have a dress sort of like that in black without my midriff showing:
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Post by EchelonHunt on Oct 27, 2016 10:59:17 GMT 8
Confession:
I actually want to look Oriental. Its a weird yearning desire, maybe it's because they look youthful and androgynous, I want the youthful aspect of their appearance.
There was a white male who spent lots of money to look like an asian model, he looks nothing like his original self. People lash out at this, call him insane, pathetic and other degoratory language.
People point out "oh, he's not a real asian." Notice the similarities? The same kind on comments people make towards transpeople who've completed their medical transition, "oh, you're not a real man/woman."
Me? I'm like, if it makes him happy, confident and comfortable, go for it. It's not hurting anyone but many people seem to take issue with the fact he changed his ethnic appearance from one to something else, like somehow it's wrong.
If I had a choice, I'd rather be oriental than white. I relate to the oriental culture and values far more than the culture and values associated with white folks.
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Post by Yuki on Oct 27, 2016 12:09:09 GMT 8
I say this to educate, and not to be rude or anything but.. Jamie, I know there was a time in the past where it was okay to call East Asian people "Oriental", but it's actually considered by most Asians to be a negative term, now. Basically.. it's a word to describe inanimate things. Food and items are Oriental... people are not. People are Asian... or, more specifically, the people you are describing are East Asian. Jayce, the reason POC see it as wrong to change the way you look to specifically another race is because yes, we do face a lot of racism in different ways. The racism an East Asian person faces is different from the racism that a Black person might face, but it's still racism. My mom hates the way she looks. Her and her siblings got bullied so badly as a kid that she now thinks all Asians are so ugly, including herself. She even told me that when I was a kid. See, I loved and respected my grandma so much that I wished I could be more involved in the culture. (Like, actually go to Japan, etc) My mom said, "Why would you want that?? Asians are so ugly!!" A lot of us have had similar, if not worse, experiences. A lot of diaspora are very separated from our culture because we were forced, by parents or grandparents, to assimilate and to be as "white" as possible, to try to save us from being treated like shit. Just so we can see white people wear it like a costume. (Ever see the cheap Geisha halloween costumes? It's mockery. And it does hurt those of us who had it taken away from us. It doesn't hurt Japanese people in Japan... they could care less. But it does hurt diaspora.) This is also why we would have an issue with the white guy who got plastic surgery to look like another race. He never had to face the crap we had to face, but he gets the glory of looking "cute" or whatever. It is entirely different from being trans. When you are trans and go through medical transition, it is to have your body more aligned with the gender that you feel like you are. But to try to change your race? That just comes from having a fetish of that race. You can celebrate the culture and still be white, so long as you are respectful. You don't need to try to fit some mold of what you think Asian people look like... it reminds me of when Katy Perry said something about wanting to skin a Japanese person and wear her.. www.colorlines.com/articles/katy-perry-wants-skin-japanese-people-and-wear-them-versaceAnd we are supposed to think that's a compliment? No, that's creepy. I get that someone who is not east asian might not understand why it's an issue, because they haven't experienced what we have and they think we are just making a big deal out of nothing. But yes, it does hurt. It hurts us emotionally to see these things on such a regular basis. People say such disgusting things. And then they see us as these exotic dolls, instead of as actual people with different personalities, interests, and tastes. So, great! We might not get told we're ugly so much, anymore. Now we're told that we are other people's playthings. WAY more interesting than those white people. (Even if we have the same personality as the white person!) It's downright creepy. And I get so tired of being asked, constantly, "What are you?" How, exactly, is it any business of some stranger what I am? I don't go up to random strangers asking them their family history, or if they are citizens! I had this conversation once before: Person: "Where are you from?" Me: "Charlotte..." (This was while I was working at my mom's store that she briefly had, in another city, and I assumed this guy just wanted to know if I was from around there.) Person: "No! I mean, where are you FROM??" Me: "Umm... I was born in Pennsylvania...??" Person: *sigh* "NO!!! I mean... but you're not AMERICAN, right?" Seriously? I just said I was BORN IN AMERICA. I have also, over the course of my life, gotten asked, every single time I don't get all talkative with someone right away: "Do you even speak English??" And not as a joke. These people are usually annoyed at me, assuming I'm just some immigrant who needs to "learn some damn English!" Or, when they don't even attempt to speak to me. They just LOOK at me and get annoyed and say "Ugh, you probably don't even speak English, do you??" English is the only language I speak. Any time I have a job? I get treated this way on a daily basis. And then the same white people who treat me this way, who ALSO don't think that this actually exists, are the ones going home, wearing my culture as a costume.... for fun... because they think it's pretty, or exotic, or cool. But if I show any signs of participating in my own culture? You'd better bet I get treated even more like "those damn immigrants." Sorry for the rant. I don't mean to make it sound like I am coming at you. I just don't know how else to express all of this. And also, it's exhausting. You know how exhausting it is trying to discuss trans issues with people who aren't trans? I have to do that with race, mental health, and disability issues, too. All the time. This is basically my entire existence.... defending myself. I'm mentally exhausted. I'm also tired of finding 'safe spaces' that are safe for one aspect of me... but not for all of me. It's disheartening. Normally I'm afraid to speak up about it. I don't like to cause a conflict, and that's not my intention here at all. I just want other people to understand that these things actually do hurt someone. That's the thing about being part of any minority, though. The majority isn't hurt by it, and so they think no one should be. All of us here have experienced that kind of treatment from people who are not trans... cis people thinking we should just get over ourselves. Can we please not do that to other marginalized groups that we are not a part of? For the sake of those who are... I know it's hard to understand WHY it hurts. Just please understand that it does.
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Post by EchelonHunt on Oct 27, 2016 13:53:55 GMT 8
I'm incredibly sorry Kai.
Jamie has already been called out once before for using the word Oriental, I know it's not the correct term, I don't know why I used it.
My parents are extremely racist. They are very vocal against east asian and muslim communities within the walls of our home.
I apologize if I devalued the east asian minority with my comments. Its a reason why it was a confession; I hold a lot of shame and guilt over that desire.
Thinking it over, I don't want to look east asian, I just want to look like a doll. Not saying east asians look like dolls, not at all. Dolls just accurately describe the aesthetic I'm going for/wish to have, rather than trying to pass off as another race.
I understand how you feel and I'm sorry again. I have been a victim of other minority aspects of myself as well, mental illness, being told to "snap out of it" and being deaf, being told to "get my hearing fixed"... hearing loss isn't curable.
Thank you for educating, however tiring it may be. I hope this place can be a safe place for all of the things you struggle with. Again, very sorry for my comments. I see the error in them and know better now.
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Post by Yuki on Oct 27, 2016 18:04:41 GMT 8
Thanks, Jacey. And, sorry if any of it came across as me lashing out or anything like that! It wasn't my intention to sound harsh or anything. I guess I kind of expected backlash, instead of understanding, because that's what usually happens when you point out that someone said something that was hurtful. So, thanks for listening! I'm dealing with issues at home, the past week. With my feelings being disregarded by my sister, and her telling me that I am treating my family like crap because I am upset with her for hurting me, and others, multiple times without apologizing to anyone. So I'm not speaking to her. But I live on my parents' property and she keeps coming around every day, (which she wasn't doing before) making me feel like I'm not even welcome to go outside because I'm trying to avoid confrontation. It's been very depressing, feeling like I have to hide away at my own home. So, I was a little raw already from all of that. So yeah, I didn't mean to come across harshly or to just single you out in that rant or anything, so I'm sorry if I did! But I really appreciate you listening. It cheered me up a little bit.
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