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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2014 4:56:24 GMT 8
Jamie, HRT helped me evolve into who I am. But hormones or no hormones, corrective surgery or none. You will always be beautiful and hold gifts of empathy and understanding. You will always be loved.J Yeah by your mother! We love you too honey, don't mind me but I just had to set the record for the first and hopefully only snarky remark on this site. Go ahead and paddle me if you must! (puke)LOL. You may think it's snarky but it's probably true though.
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2014 5:02:52 GMT 8
I definitely agree with Julie on this one. Regardless if you don't fit the mold society made for you it just plain sux. Male of female.
I didn't find it harsh. We all have different experiences. Different circumstances and opposite sides of the spectrum but it still sucked though. Feeling one way and being seen as the other will never be fun.
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Post by DCW on Nov 25, 2014 23:45:25 GMT 8
I had serious problems with that during my transition. My transition professionals were cis women (they firmly identified with their gender as assigned at birth) and definitely didn't toe those lines, but they dearly wished to enforce them upon me.
I didn't give in, but it would have been a lot easier for me in many ways had I done so.
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Post by Auroramarianna on Jan 4, 2015 2:07:40 GMT 8
Hmmm, this question is tricky on so many levels.
For me, I know that biologically I'm not wired like a female. I don't have a uterus, I don't have a menstrual cycle, so we're definitely a little different. But what makes a woman? What even makes a man? Is it only the body? Is it the mind? I think until we actually know the answers to these questions we'll never know for sure to what degree we can say we're female, but it doesn't matter personally, we are who we are. If I'm not a woman, then am I that much of a man? Probably not. Stereotypically speaking, I am much closer to women than to men in attitude and feelings. Does that make me a woman? I don't know but it certainly makes me a little different. Even if we were not women, don't we have the right to dress, act, look, sound and to fit and be treated like one? Of course we do. Isn't being a man or a woman mostly a cultural experience? Because nothing about being a man or a woman is inherent to just biology. So I think, when we have lived as one, yes we can say we're a woman. Different but equal.
Dysphoria is tricky and we still don't what it causes, but it's just us. We are who we are for lots of reasons, and we'll probably never know most of them.
But just to finish, I believe male and female brains are not really that different, but gender identity is certainly wired in the brain. It's not a choice. I don't believe anyone chooses to be trans. Trans just is.
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Post by Patty on Jan 4, 2015 11:24:54 GMT 8
I was having a chat with my therapist a few weeks ago and asked her directly what does it feel like to be a female.She looked at me with a sort of puzzled look ,thought about it for a minute, and said she did not really know its just what I am.What I said to her was I don't know either.The way I feel is the same way I have felt all my life, except now my outside is congruent with my inside feelings, and my heart,soul,mind and body are in synch with one another. Going full time feminine and Hrt took away the fear which held me captive for all my life I have found harmony and the two sides have bonded together to form one very happy Patty.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 4, 2015 11:38:54 GMT 8
I was having a chat with my therapist a few weeks ago and asked her directly what does it feel like to be a female.She looked at me with a sort of puzzled look ,thought about it for a minute, and said she did not really know its just what I am.What I said to her was I don't know either.The way I feel is the same way I have felt all my life, except now my outside is congruent with my inside feelings, and my heart,soul,mind and body are in synch with one another. Going full time feminine and Hrt took away the fear which held me captive for all my life I have found harmony and the two sides have bonded together to form one very happy Patty. Yeah and you are pretty and the most wonderful person i met in my life.
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Post by LivingTheDream on Jan 4, 2015 13:29:49 GMT 8
I was having a chat with my therapist a few weeks ago and asked her directly what does it feel like to be a female.She looked at me with a sort of puzzled look ,thought about it for a minute, and said she did not really know its just what I am.What I said to her was I don't know either.The way I feel is the same way I have felt all my life, except now my outside is congruent with my inside feelings, and my heart,soul,mind and body are in synch with one another. Going full time feminine and Hrt took away the fear which held me captive for all my life I have found harmony and the two sides have bonded together to form one very happy Patty. I was just thinking this same thing earlier...was thinking I was gonna try to talk about that with mine and hopefully, will remember to do so on Monday. Curious to see what she says but I bet will be similar or the same.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 5, 2015 21:37:21 GMT 8
I was having a chat with my therapist a few weeks ago and asked her directly what does it feel like to be a female.She looked at me with a sort of puzzled look ,thought about it for a minute, and said she did not really know its just what I am.What I said to her was I don't know either.The way I feel is the same way I have felt all my life, except now my outside is congruent with my inside feelings, and my heart,soul,mind and body are in synch with one another. Going full time feminine and Hrt took away the fear which held me captive for all my life I have found harmony and the two sides have bonded together to form one very happy Patty. I love challenging psychologists and psychiatrists. I would have answered something like: What does it feel like to be a female? What does if feel like to be a male? Feeling like one or the other is just sensations that is tied to the body nerves and brain. I think the bigger question is what does it mean to be female or what does it mean to be male? This is way deeper than just bodily sensations. This is the very root of our Psyches. I know some people hate stereotypes and I am not meaning to offend but when it comes to the subconscious mind and deeper levels of consciousness and self awareness, stereotypes seem to be rather prevalent. Not the physical stereotypes but deeper instincts and thinking. The typical male and female psychological stereotypes as in protector or nurturer is embedded in our subconscious. And I believe everyone experiences aspects of both male and female characteristics psychologically. Some choose and embrace one over the other and some choose to embrace both. And yet still some refuse to go deeper than the conscious mind and tie the whole idea of gender to physical sexual characteristics. In other words, "Boys have a penis and girls have a vagina". Thinking like this has limited the human Psyche to tie sex and gender together when sex is a physical characteristic and gender is more psychological. Doing this is limiting their own human experience. They are limiting getting to know themselves on much deeper levels. Yes throughout history a physical and psychological difference between male and female probably ensure our survival due to evolution. But today not so much. Remember anything is possible in nature and evolution or ourselves is generally dictated by our environments. But there is physical evolution and psychological evolution. When the brain evolves, the mind will evolve. Just check out the technology that has come about in the last 100 years. So I don't know exactly what if feels like to be a female and I don't know what it feels like to be a male. But I do know how it feels to feel female and how it feels to feel male and both together with the female pulling a little stronger than the male. I personally try to see people by what is on the inside. So to me, transwomen are women and female and transmen are men and male. And everyone else has aspects of both genders in them and use both. I personally think everyone has transgender tendencies from the smallest little thought all the way up to SRS. I just think most people refuse to see it in themselves. But that may change and seems to be changing more and more everyday.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 15, 2015 16:42:50 GMT 8
I really have no interest in joining the herd and to be recognised as a woman based on pre-conceived notions and ideals. I'm simply transitioning to what feels right for me. "Male" isn't it, and neither is "genderqueer" or "genderfluid" and so on. I resonate with the feminine spirit. I can't begin to define myself in any other way.
The physical body is basically the casing for an elaborate computer system. Within that system contains a sentient intelligence, like an A.I. identity similar to the one in the film "Her". One casing could be designed to look curvy, with pink siding. Another casing could be designed to look more edgy and aggressive. What if the OS inside the edgier casing had a female personality, and inside the curvy casing was a male personality? What truly defines the "identity" of either?
We may be trans women, technically, but we are still women through and through. There is no default personality or characteristic, either. Consciousness is who we are, essentially, and we just ended up stuck in the wrong casing. Luckily, we can modify it.
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Post by Deleted on Jan 20, 2015 2:44:20 GMT 8
This something I've always had difficulty with. I see so many say they feel like females, always felt that way, etc. Me, I still haven't figured out just what that is supposed to feel like. Most of the time, I feel like a freak, very different from most. I do present myself as a woman, but I don't proclaim anything, I allow people to perceive what they will and its usually that I'm a female. I do prefer female pronouns and while the wrong ones can sting a little, its not a huge hit for me anymore and I make allowances for who its coming from and the circumstances. I don't worry about what I should do or how I should act as far as masculine/feminine goes. . .
I can go along with all of this. I've never been too excited about the notion of "Right! Now I'm embracing my femininity!!!! How am I going to express it?" For me in a lot of ways nothing's changed. I'm just going about being myself. I don't really feel all that different. I suppose everybody I know perceives me as radically different now, or perhaps they don't. But I haven't done anything in a desperate attempt to prove to people that "I really am a woman".
There are certain things I've noted: e.g., I might meet some woman I've never seen before on the train, we fall into conversation and she seems comfortable with me. So does that mean I'm putting out female vibes? I don't know. Looking back on things, I don't know that there ever was a time when I couldn't talk to women. Since I came out I haven't had any conversations with women where I felt like it was outrageous "girl talk" that had nothing to do with me. I seem to fit in OK.
But what exactly that means, I'm not sure. Does that mean I'm "truly female"? I don't know. I'm just trying to be me, and I don't feel like putting on an act in order to try and convince myself that I'm something that I may not truly be. I spent too much of my life not being my true self. I don't want to do any more of that.
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