Everyday feminism article - "the s..t that cis folk say"

[Ayla]

Thought this may provoke a few laughs and inspire you to add other comments or conversations that you have heard or joined :

PERSON: But that doesn’t exist.
LEXXI: Oh, really? I didn’t know I was a mythical creature! Thank you.

PERSON: “They” is a plural pronoun, so that’s not actually correct.
LEXXI: Look who’s an official member of the Grammar Police! Wow.

PERSON: So…you’re gay?

PERSON: So…you’re a…hermaphrodite?

PERSON: That is way too complicated.
LEXXI: Well, not really. But I can explain it to you again if you want me—
PERSON: No, no. It’s just too complicated.
LEXXI: Oh, okay.

PERSON: So what bathroom are you gonna use?
LEXXI: The one in my house, for starters…

PERSON: So are you a girl or a boy?
LEXXI: Were you not listening, or…?

PERSON: But what kind of…mmm?
LEXXI: No, stop. Stop.

PERSON: Oh! Like RuPaul!
LEXXI: …What?

PERSON: But you wear makeup.
LEXXI: Your point?

PERSON: But you own a dress.
LEXXI: Uh…

PERSON: But you wear bow ties.

PERSON: But you—

PERSON: No, but really.
LEXXI: Okay. Just, okay.

[Taka]

oh yeah, that one.

i haven't gotten any of those yet.
it's quite interesting, but all the people i've actually really talked to, just got it.
or maybe not all. my gp didn't get it at all, except from seemingly understanding that i know myself well enough that this should be considered real.

[Ayla]

Actually the reactions that I have had have all been pretty good but then I have only come out to 50 or so friends, colleagues, family members and clients. All pretty smart and focused on the person and not the presentation.

[Deleted]

They're usually pretty funny and on point

[Deleted]

Hahaha I love the exchange in that conversation! So far I haven't had such a conversation and I don't know why, perhaps I'm not flamboyant enough to elicit such questions from the mainline cis population. Then again it may have to do with a combination of the long slow duration of my gradual transition to where I am now, my age and how people tend to consider older folks who are different as rather eccentric, and then there is my general demeanor including a face which, sadly due to years of previous masculinization appears kind of grumpy at times. I'd actually enjoy an exchange like that!

[Deleted]

Oh yeah. Gotta' laugh at cluelessness. I can't even call it stupidity or ignorance. Are we really that hard to understand though?

[Ayla]

Nov 23, 2014 9:20:27 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

Some people find me difficult to understand. That's ok because I do too.

I'm likely to have that conversation or variations of it internally every few days. One day I'll get it right and I will finally shut up to myself.

J

I find you fascinating, challenging and at any point in time easy to understand.... but what I don't get is the name changes.  Please keep to Julie as I am still having a challenge with the morphing of Jess into Jamie. It is probably age related but my confusion may be an early indication of some form of dementia.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

Nov 23, 2014 22:00:14 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

FUBARCHICK was kind of a private joke lol, back to Julie. It is my name after all. It is nice to see Jamie come out as herself. She never felt safe enough on Susans and it is a testament to this group that she is not concerned with stealth. I love your new elf. I will hold that image in my imagination when I think of you, and I often do. I hope that fear and sadness are forever banished here. I can deal with interpersonal angst, but not so much with institutional passive aggressiveness.

What is a little confusing to me is the fluidity of gender here. I think of Jamie, Pikachu, and myself as women with a little spice. I hope I do not offend, but I find your warmth, compassion, and gentleness very feminine, and quite beautiful. I tend to avoid pronouns because many here morph between their male and female sides between sentences, and I'm never quite sure who I'm talking to. They is fine, but there are times when I see Taka and Ativan as compassionate men, and times when I see them as generous women. They are both and that is what makes them, you, and all who dwell here so very wonderful.

Trinity will always be Satinjoy the fairy to me. She is my girlfriend. They are a mentor. Together a human of incomparable worth emerges. This probably ought to have been a pm, but I do not fear being misunderstood or being flamed. Nice, huh.

Love,
Julie

I can relate to Aisla's comment and it may be age related. I have been emailed by numerous friends from the former site all of whom may show up here. Bibi and NatKat have both contacted me just today and I had to ask them to be sure and let me know who they are if they change their names here so I can put into context who it is we are dealing with. But yes Julie, we all do morph back and forth a lot and it's ok and acceptable because we accept one another for who we are on an unconditional basis unlike at other places.

[Deleted]

Nov 24, 2014 1:34:12 GMT 8 @julieblair said:

Shan you are the mesomorph of them all. Man, Woman, boy, girl adult, child all at once and all the time. That is why you are the glue of all relationships, and a best friend.
J

Laura says it's just my immaturity! 

[Ayla]

Julie

I don't think that I could imagine a situation where you would offend me. In many ways I am emotionally feminine and that is a big part of my core. It is growing stronger as I relax the rigid binary male manacles that I had forged to ensure that I survived and thrived as an alpha male. The hrt weakened and then released these self made constraints. I am still learning how to use and to access the more sensate parts of me. My presentation is slowly morphing and at a much gentler pace. Having moved too quickly early on, I am, as they say, moving with the flow and feeling my way along my path.

Safe travels

Aisla

[Deleted]

A woman with a little spice, huh? I like that description.

[Deleted]

Nov 24, 2014 6:00:05 GMT 8 @pikachu said:

A woman with a little spice, huh? I like that description.

Spice, just a euphemism for a saucy chickster! 

[Deleted]

Haha... I really don't see myself as saucy, though. Just a snarky bitch at times.

[Taka]

it's fun to know how others see me.
can't see myself after all, and you are my truest mirror.

i also don't really know which one i am at all times.
can't stop to think about who i am speaking as before i speak. waste of time.
if you get it, you get it. that's all that matters to me.
what i say, that is. not my gender...

i wouldn't be offended if a friend used the pronoun they find appropriate,
for as long as it isn't "she" in 100% of the cases. that would be bad.

[Deleted]

Well, the snarky part doesn't often come out, but it's there. It mostly emerges when people are being rude and making incredibly dumb statements. I usually try to bite my tongue when that happens, though.

But awww... Thanks for all the kind things you said about me.