What are you doing right now?

[Ativan Prescribed]

Quite a few I imagine, I don't have access and don't really care about them all that much, but count on a share of them being just that.
It makes little difference to me, I just know the number of guests over a period of time since the beginning.
If it is most of them, what difference does it make, really. What a waste of bots, lol.
The forum has always been small, the actual NB community is really large, and the LGBTQ community is larger still, you have to want to be on a laidback forum to be here.
This place is not a radical driven in your face place, it isn't a us vs them kind of place, its just a place where small talk is just as valued as the big talk is.
I imagine I'm the most outspoken and political and yet in the bigger picture, I'm not much of either.
I care about outside attacks but if people want to listen in, who cares? Maybe they will learn something.
Pretty hard to get away from bots anyways, I just don't want outsiders being bigots or racist on here, it isn't what its about and they are banned permanently and as far as I know, once banned and they don't come back as attackers.
I hate doing it but it really doesn't take a lot to make me ban someone, if you wanted to shake the place up and make it all us vs them, you catch my eye and if you go to far the ban hammer falls, but there are PM messages first in almost all cases.
I also check on member requests and can see if people have been banned at their address and such, its a widely used system of checks that is freely used by a lot of places.
So hinky requests are usually not taken seriously enough to allow and weird posts will get you no where fast, I just try and make it safe and I confer with others if I think I need to.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Aug 5, 2024 8:55:48 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

Getting evicted at the end of the month and I have nowhere to go and worse yet is no way to get anywhere, I am in the middle of nowhere to begin with.
Anxiety levels are skyrocketed over 100...
There are very few rent controlled places for people over 62 in the area and its going to be hard to find an opening in one farther away and then the logistics of it all.
life is screeching to a halt here in a bad way.

Danger averted, its only been a month and yet it feels sooo much longer than that.
Anxiety spikes like I have not had for years and years, decades.
But, in the end I managed to work out a deal and I am still not satisfied with that, one wrong move and I'm outta here.
But, the constant need to squash anxiety has at least subsided, and am feeling somewhat back to normal.
I'm not happy by any means, but I can see it over there.

[francxs]

Anxiety is a killer. I hear you. Glad things are settling out a bit.

[Ativan Prescribed]

[Ativan Prescribed]

[Ativan Prescribed]

Watching the ninth and last episode of Song of the Bandits on Netflix, a really good show.
But one glaring mistake they made several times is showing a car that because the show takes place in the early 1920's, it looks like a early fifties american car.
Could be an import back then, but I know of no car made back then that has a fifties look.
Otherwise it is a really good show and worth the time to watch it.
Good music in it as well.

[Ativan Prescribed]

[Trinity]

Cat 4 coming straight at us, prepping and evacuating.  Living in the minivan for some days till this gets by us, hope the house stays ok, all depends on if anything hits a window.  

Bad news on the medical side for both me and my wife, not life threatening, hers is concerning and not cool, mine is my lower back scoliosis has reached a bad chronic pain threshold and I am beginning to understand the consequences of this are not going to be fun.  Its become life changing already and I am still young, I hit full retirement age in February but can't do it.

We have it rough, but if we can get through the hurricanes without too much damage, we will get by.

I didn't know the scoliosis is as bad as it is, and was.  It's pinching the nerves and two of the vertebra are way out of alignment, they are not on top of each other, they are offset by about 8 mm each.  Not sure how much falling off the truck back hurt it, but I think it did.  The lumbar scoliosis is medically "severe"

The MRI pics are sure amazing to look at.  Spinal cord is still ok, bone and discs are degenerating.  I still need to talk to the doc about it, that's just the write up from the techs.  I hope I can use dance to prolong quality of life and avoid a wheelchair later on. 

As to fun things to watch, the Beekeeper is good as a movie, Person of Interest as a series on Freebee is really good. 

So are the two Mother movies, I forget who is in them, female leads that kick butt.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I dated a chiropractor for a while, met her when I sold her a Harley and right after I had a bad kickback from a kickstarter beast monster bike, left my leg feeling like lightning was running up and down it 24/7.
She fixed me up and straightened my back out in places I had no idea where needing it. I learned how to do some myself and would work on hers now and then...
But look into that for straightening a back and also consider getting some quality collagen to rebuild disks, I used a couple bags worth of the stuff to rebuild the blown out knee I had and its still good, stopped having to wear a brace on it years ago now.
Good idea to go evac in the minivan so you don't have to go evac helicopter later on. Couldn't you board up the windows?
Spent time tonight trying to convince my daughter to get the hell out of FL for a while, her daughter is just too precious to have something bad happen to her.
Love Next Door on Netflix, Queen of tears is excellent as well as several others, less action that is over the top BS and better acting than most american movies and TV shows.
Drs want to do surgery on spines because it brings in a shit ton of money for them, just like they over prescribe BS medications far to often that they can then prescribe even more for all the side effects the other shit caused, Nasty cycles of chronic shit.
Its the way the AMA set it up in the first place, to make healers money makers, if trump wasn't trying to be a politician then he would have been a Dr prescribing BS procedures and gawdawful for you meds.
He certainly is on par with most Drs charlatan natures, stuck with convincing you that you need to follow AMA procedures and meds when there is a world of alternative things that work but make them very little money so they won't prescribe them.

[Trinity]

Harrowing storm.  We are ok, met up with daughter and grands in VA.  They had gotten lost in georgia Helene disaster area.  Never felt so helpless as this week, except maybe last month, what a last few months its been.

We have damage but not too bad.  North carolina mountains right now, nice country but trees down all over.

Back to FL tomorrow.  

[Trinity]

Oct 11, 2024 9:56:31 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Harrowing storm.  We are ok, met up with daughter and grands in VA.  They had gotten lost in georgia Helene disaster area.  Never felt so helpless as this week, except maybe last month, what a last few months its been.

We have damage but not too bad.  North carolina mountains right now, nice country but trees down all over.

Back to FL tomorrow.  

we have a lot more damage than I thought.  Have to be greatful for what we were able to keep, which was a lot, but this really hit us hard, I think I am in denial right now about just how hard and what that means.

There's only so long you can go on pretending that everything is ok and is going to be ok, when it obviously is very not ok.  

But, never give up, day at a time, there's really no other choice.

I need to find out what assistance is out there from the government for this.  

Saw two huge trees down in the neighborhood, in both cases they fell exactly right to not damage anything important, its actually pretty amazing.

We lost a roof, a fence, window failure, and the pool structure is twisted like a pretzel.  I saw that one of the shed storage things was under the window I boarded up, that had been thrown about twenty or thirty feet and I am betting it hit the board, so, definitely was worth boarding up the window.

This is what I saw in the dark.  Tomorrow we will know more.

Theres some structural worries too....

Kenny Logins gambler.  Fold.

[francxs]

Ahg. So sorry! Will be thinking of you. 

F

[Trinity]

Thank you

8'm in a dangerous mood, mix of depression, regret, what could have been, what if we got It right in 76, b7t then no kids, no wife..

Cleaning up from hurricane and planning how to sell out. L8stening to 70s rock, want to drink and get stoned and cant. Have to turn it around here, find out how to get past wife being sick, determined to focus on what can be and not the total cluster my life was.

[Trinity]

Well that moment has passed

Got a tree cut down and on the sidewalk, not a big one, about 18 feet tall.

Productive day here.  Bouncing back a bit mentally.

Hugs all.

[Trinity]

I started physical therapy for the spine problems, have a meeting with a neurosurgeon in a few weeks, going to avoid that but the pain doesn't really go away and can be really bad. Funny that when I play music I don't notice it so much, I get caught up in the creation, especially on the synths.

Playing free form, or jamming, makes me feel good. Doesn't matter how good I am, or not, matters how I feel and the sound can be surprising based on where I am at.

Depression is a real thing right now. But working through it all.

Pfizer pushed estradiol cypionate out now to December, I'm getting nervous that they might discontinue it, nothing else works well for me.

So, on we go, recovery, recovery, recovery.

Yah the Prayer for This House was shared here by a former member once, I loved it and like to play it, and it can be the best of who I am, it touches the core of Trinity at my best and most real. I do too much of being the person I have to be to live, isolated, I can really go there and let my hair down and be happy. But I need the other attributes of who I am more to get through the day, and with the relationships I have, which are not supportive of sh'e, at the family level, but are supportive of the rest of me.