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Dec 19, 2014 12:17:49 GMT 8
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Leena
2,309
Dec 19, 2014 12:12:25 GMT 8
December 2014
veronicalynn
She/Her
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Post by Leena on Sept 2, 2023 10:49:22 GMT 8
I'd think there was more of a problem if you weren't depressed considering what's been going on down there.
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May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
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Ativan Prescribed
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Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 2, 2023 12:59:45 GMT 8
Stop looking for reasons that you feel depressed, there is no rhyme or reason to it, its a matter of brain chemistry and the effects that environment play of that. It's very true that almost all meds for depression are worthless, and a huge majority are just derivatives of prozac which placebos have the same impact, and ones like Wellbutrin may help for a while but then the effect wears off. Instead of looking for a cause, you really need to look for a reason to get out of the ruminating and thats the hard part of depression, you just keep circling around a theme and it never solves a thing. You can't think your way out of it by trying to find a reason for depression, but you can instead find those things that are not a part of it and work on those, trust me I have been playing this depression game for a very long time. You have to stop letting triggers have effects, you have to stop playing the blame game, you have to find the courage to look yourself in the eye and hitch up your pants and lean into it all. There is no calm and collected way of dealing with it, you can't let others opinions sway you from being yourself, and reality is... most people have absolutely no idea or even care who you are. You walk softly and carry a big stick, you don't try to talk to people about why their opinions about LGBTQ are right or wrong, just stay out of the idiocy that republicans try to use because they are never the perfect people, if anything,.. explain to them that nobody looks up to them or want to be like them, I never see those stupid MAGA red hats around here anymore, but I can imagine them and I envision instead of a hat they are wearing a clown nose that has MAGA written of it. Republicans are really going downhill in a hurry and it isn't a decline, it's a landslide of the entire edge of the cliff they are going over. New big thing Dead Ted Cruz is trying out is making a way to big a deal out of somebody recommending that two beers a week is enough, its kinda like protesting the amount of recommended fiber in your diet, nobody is coming to get you if you drink more than two beers a week, but failing republicans are desperate for anything they can bitch about, because the entire LGBTQ thing is not working out for them, its isn't an issue for the country and is a nothing for voters, they simply are sick of hearing the right bitch. The people who fund the RNC are holding back and their bank account for the upcoming elections is under 12 million, trump is sucking away all the small donors with his grifts and even those are not much at all. Voters are sick of republicans trying to desperately finding something they can pin on Biden, and the voters are sick of republicans having zero policies to stand on other than just bitching like some deranged Karen. Rep[ublicans have nothing, zero, zilch, they have Tumorville screwing up the military, they have the insane Margarine Soylent Greene, they have Bobblehead going on and on about nitpicked shit she interpretes wrong from the bible, the list goes on and on, Old Moscow Mitch can't seem to decide if he can even respond to questions anymore and the republicans running besides trump for president are the worst bunch of clowns getting in and out of the clown car they have ever had, they don't know if they have an idea or not, they babble the same old shit and the same old really old shit, if there was ever a bunch of losers they are it, not a one of them politicians on the right have a thing going on, just bitch and botch and the voters are sick of them and just want them to go away, it isn't a blue wave coming, its the red wave going out to sea never to be seen of heard from again. Rhonda Santos is losing his shit, I haven't been paying attention but is he wearing his bright white go-go boots while out pretending he is doing something for all the damage from the last hurricane and whats he going to do when the next one and the ones after that hit? He's going to declare hurricanes woke and the idiots on the right will be standing outside pretending hurricanes are not happening because morons, all of them.
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francxs
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Post by francxs on Sept 2, 2023 16:58:54 GMT 8
Charles de Gaulle airport is heaving with humanity. So many people. So many stories. So many journeys. It’s no wonder you feel weirdly discombobulated in places like this.
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Jan 22, 2024 13:25:05 GMT 8
2,316
Yuki
1,762
Aug 24, 2016 11:03:57 GMT 8
August 2016
violynne
Non-Binary
They/Their/Them
Pansexual
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Post by Yuki on Sept 7, 2023 11:26:21 GMT 8
Can’t remember if I mentioned here that I got a sewing machine? Got tired of trying to find clothes I like. I found a pattern for a patchwork looking dress, and then Joann was having a fabric sale on flannel. I got lots of bugs, snakes, frogs lol. But the fabric on the bottom is my favorite. It’s like it came out of a sketchbook, illustrating a tropical forest. It’s easier to see the details in person.
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May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
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Ativan Prescribed
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Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 9, 2023 10:43:47 GMT 8
Can’t remember if I mentioned here that I got a sewing machine? Got tired of trying to find clothes I like. I found a pattern for a patchwork looking dress, and then Joann was having a fabric sale on flannel. I got lots of bugs, snakes, frogs lol. But the fabric on the bottom is my favorite. It’s like it came out of a sketchbook, illustrating a tropical forest. It’s easier to see the details in person. Constructing things is always a great way of expressing ideas, one of my main things doing R&D work was making prototypes of ideas I had for various stuff, taking a mental picture and turning it into an actual thing you can then pick up and turn it around and over to see if it meets your expectations, whether it does or not isn't the point, there is always more to learn by just doing it and then if it does work as expected, its great,.. if not then you have a reference point to improve on. Some places I worked we had full time machinists for just taking your drawings and turning them into something, and in other places all the things and materials you need to do the same thing. Sometimes an hour or so or maybe even minutes to take an idea to being an object, one time I worked on a computer run test bed that was 8'x8' and had to learn basic programming to get it to run... But it worked and worked far better than anyone's expectations. 9 months start to finish. Tinkering is what I generally referred to my job title as, although I had quite a few depending on where and what I was working on at the time, generally we were referred to as scientists but that is so vague and it actually means anyone working in the sciences making any kind of advancement. But the end results is always the same whether just making something for yourself or because someone asked you to, the ability to make things is always a gift of an ability to have.
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francxs
66
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francxs
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Post by francxs on Sept 9, 2023 22:54:05 GMT 8
Can’t remember if I mentioned here that I got a sewing machine? Got tired of trying to find clothes I like. I found a pattern for a patchwork looking dress, and then Joann was having a fabric sale on flannel. I got lots of bugs, snakes, frogs lol. But the fabric on the bottom is my favorite. It’s like it came out of a sketchbook, illustrating a tropical forest. It’s easier to see the details in person. I love this dress and love the idea of sewing. I’ve done it in the past but don’t have a machine right now. So cool.
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217
0
Jan 22, 2024 13:25:05 GMT 8
2,316
Yuki
1,762
Aug 24, 2016 11:03:57 GMT 8
August 2016
violynne
Non-Binary
They/Their/Them
Pansexual
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Post by Yuki on Sept 11, 2023 1:33:36 GMT 8
Can’t remember if I mentioned here that I got a sewing machine? Got tired of trying to find clothes I like. I found a pattern for a patchwork looking dress, and then Joann was having a fabric sale on flannel. I got lots of bugs, snakes, frogs lol. But the fabric on the bottom is my favorite. It’s like it came out of a sketchbook, illustrating a tropical forest. It’s easier to see the details in person. I love this dress and love the idea of sewing. I’ve done it in the past but don’t have a machine right now. So cool. You should get one! I haven’t had one in a few years, but I forgot how fun it can be.
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May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
4,665
Ativan Prescribed
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Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
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ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 11, 2023 8:45:02 GMT 8
Sewing machines today are relatively cheap and durable and have functions that I have no idea what they are even talking about. I'm surprised that someone isn't (maybe they already are...) making a printer that just prints the clothes and no sewing is needed. Consider that even computer controlled machining is going to the wayside for just printing out something now, not are very very little machining needed. We no longer are making castings out of metal and then sending them to the machinist to finish them, they pop out of the printers basically done and use far less material and are stronger. Considering that we are well past the stage of printing rocket motors and printing houses is old now, growing synthetic organs for humans is going to the wayside and just printing them is on the horizon, lose a leg and just get a replacement off the printer. I mean they are playing around with printers making a brain that works, not to sure if I want one of those just yet though.... We won't be making rockets to assemble in space like we envisioned just a few years ago, send the raw materials and print them in orbit, stronger and better and far easily more complex and just for fun make a few extra printers for repairs and upgrades along the way to the next destination. If it was up to me I would love to live a few more lifetimes and lifetimes of hundreds of years are in the making right now and it isn't beyond our capabilities, getting to the outer reaches of space is entirely possible right now for a person. But if you're like me and just want to design and make your own clothes, get one of the newer sewing machines and go creative nuts with it, you just never know what you can do until you try.
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0
Jan 22, 2024 13:25:05 GMT 8
2,316
Yuki
1,762
Aug 24, 2016 11:03:57 GMT 8
August 2016
violynne
Non-Binary
They/Their/Them
Pansexual
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Post by Yuki on Sept 11, 2023 11:55:18 GMT 8
Sewing machines today are relatively cheap and durable and have functions that I have no idea what they are even talking about. I'm surprised that someone isn't (maybe they already are...) making a printer that just prints the clothes and no sewing is needed. Consider that even computer controlled machining is going to the wayside for just printing out something now, not are very very little machining needed. We no longer are making castings out of metal and then sending them to the machinist to finish them, they pop out of the printers basically done and use far less material and are stronger. Considering that we are well past the stage of printing rocket motors and printing houses is old now, growing synthetic organs for humans is going to the wayside and just printing them is on the horizon, lose a leg and just get a replacement off the printer. I mean they are playing around with printers making a brain that works, not to sure if I want one of those just yet though.... We won't be making rockets to assemble in space like we envisioned just a few years ago, send the raw materials and print them in orbit, stronger and better and far easily more complex and just for fun make a few extra printers for repairs and upgrades along the way to the next destination. If it was up to me I would love to live a few more lifetimes and lifetimes of hundreds of years are in the making right now and it isn't beyond our capabilities, getting to the outer reaches of space is entirely possible right now for a person. But if you're like me and just want to design and make your own clothes, get one of the newer sewing machines and go creative nuts with it, you just never know what you can do until you try. I haven’t seen anything that prints clothes yet, probably the most similar to a 3D printer for clothes would be a knitting machine. But, I did just get an ad for a printer that prints patterns onto fabric. You get plain white fabric rolls for it, and it’ll print the colors/designs on it in the shape of the pattern so you just cut it out and sew it. Similar to those pre-printed fabrics with the basic pillow patterns on them that you just cut and sew, but one you can have at home and design your own stuff on it I guess. Not sure what the limitations are, but it looked cool. It was expensive, though. But yeah my sewing machine was $100 and is fairly basic but does have a decent amount of pre-set stitches that I don’t know what you’d use most of them for lol, but I do plan to learn eventually. And it has a needle threaded for the needle. You pull it down and it has the tiniest hook that goes through the needle eye and catches the thread and pulls it through for you. I’ve never had one with that before. The bobbin on this one is a lot easier to deal with too than I’m used to. So yeah you can get something with enough features to last you a while for a pretty basic price. I don’t imagine you’d need much more than mine unless/until you got really serious about it, or if you needed to sew something really thick like jeans.. it probably can’t do that very well. It did struggle a bit with the 4 layers of relatively thin flannel that were in a couple small areas of the dress around seams. But otherwise it’s decent.
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May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
4,665
Ativan Prescribed
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Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 22, 2023 9:16:15 GMT 8
Watching again a series on Netflix called Mr Sunshine, which sounds like it is a sappy sorta series but its not at all. Takes place late 1899's through early 1900's in Korea occupied by the Japanese, its really epic in the way it is filmed and is an evolving story line with evolving characters. It's something like 20 episodes around an hour each, but the sets are just so over the top good and the acting is as well. I'm looking forward to next month when the Bandits series comes out, it's like a western korean set in the same time period. This one has all the elements in it though and is one of the best Korean dramas' I have watched.
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May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
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Ativan Prescribed
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Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Sept 29, 2023 12:28:59 GMT 8
Just finished Mr Sunshine on Netflix, if you have netflix I highly recommend it, it is epic, and the acting is over the top and the sets are as well. 20 episodes takes you farther and more into the relationships of the characters, the way they intertwine and become entangled is increasingly complicated and intriguing. I have no idea why they decided to call it Mr Sunshine and although there is a vague reference to it, it is not a sunshiny show, there is the korean humor to be sure but it is historic and romantic, and just over the top great show to watch. This is the second time I have watched it and its even better the second time around. Now on to Song of the Bandits, another historic show and done like a western as far as I can tell, looks good and has good reviews, 9 episodes long.
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1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Oct 11, 2023 10:05:13 GMT 8
Had my first appointment with my gynocologist for HRT. Went well, there was legal stuff with the state of Florida. They stripped the funding for hormones, so its 200 a vial for that out of pocket now, I go through a vial every two months. They had a republican written consent letter, I had to sign a whole bunch of stuff on it, but I also wrote "disagree" next to the four or five blatant lies on the form. Especially the one saying HRT causes suicide (as opposed to what when the state denies yours....)
So we keep fighting, I finally will get my blood work, I like the new doc, she is furious too, and I hope the courts eventually can overturn at least some of the death laws.
Next week I see my trans friendly new docs that also specialize in geriatrics. So I am well underway to recovery.
The state requires a yearly evaluation by a psychologist to continue hormones, yet another flip of the finger at the AMA and all reputable medical associations. They still are allowing refusal of treatment of trans people including in emergencies, and still have it as a felony to use a bathroom. So I'm posting this publically to once again call out that the republican laws in Florida are designed to commit genocide.
But in the meantime, for me at least, I will be fine. And I had no pushback at all from anyone about being nonbinary, I figure I am a republicans worst nightmare, beard, boobs and balls......
Thankful to God and for the networking and kind hearts still here for getting medical support finally. And I was so fortunate to get that one doc that prescribed a year of estrogen, that was huge, and my primary that got me six months of other life saving drugs I take before the state stripped that clinics license away, leaving all the trans folk without basic medical treatment.
Let me be very clear to anyone reading this. The republican agenda is not to protect anyone from trans, though they spin it that way. The republican agenda is to eliminate trans, do it legally and sneakily and cowardly, it is to commit murder and get away with it, total discrimination and bigotry, it is the most heinous and evil stuff imaginable, tearing families apart, legalizing murder, weaponizing hate and I could go on and on.
Some day, I hope this backlashes on them and they never recover from it, that the truth gets exposed before more lives are lost to political fascist neonazi hate mongers who prey on defenseless people because they get off on it.
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May 14, 2024 7:28:07 GMT 8
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Ativan Prescribed
8,475
Jan 9, 2015 10:22:46 GMT 8
January 2015
ativanprescribed
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on Oct 11, 2023 12:08:22 GMT 8
And yet they still think they hold the moral high ground and that everyone looks up to them for what they should do. It just escapes them that they are alienating more and more voters and they are the dying political party of insanity. Scared little bunnies in the wild, afraid of shadows and the wind, they scurry from one thing to the next of what frightens them. But consider that the best they have to offer as a new speaker of the house is someone who covered up literal rape of the people he was supposed to protect and the other one is buddies with the KKK guy Duke. And then there is Tumorville who is in the fricken way and even more so now with the shit going down in Israel, and the nazi assholes want to take away funding for Ukraine because something something scared little bunnies. Their lead going into the election for president next year is a criminal and losing his fricken mind, his brain is fried and losing more and more of reality everyday, but then so are all republicans. What have the republicans done for the country in the last three years? What damage are they causing for the last three years? Just think of where we could have been if the deplorables hadn't voted for trump.....
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0
1
May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Oct 11, 2023 23:15:06 GMT 8
I'm feeling like myself for the first time in a very long time. Being gendered correctly yesterday went a long way for feeling better, and I still see what I need to see in the mirror although I shot up 25 pounds since last year. But there is kind of a restoration going on, I've been in this warrior/crisis mode for so long and a lot of my better qualities get put to the side when that happens, once the pressure comes off its likely to boomerang and I'll let my (long) hair down again.
Lots of responsibility, I'll have the house done by next week I hope and we will sell out which will allow us to retire whenever, most likely 4 years from now. Grandkids are around, it's generally better at home here.
I've been playing music to relax before bed, the ultimate anti depressant for me, and I keep learning new things.
There's some stalled guitar building to do, I have a strat that was my first strat that I want to put custom 69's in but with independent volume and tone for each pickup, should be interesting to do.
These things can come later, my main client renewed my contract for next year, they know I'm trans, they don't care but they were worried about the medical stuff.
So things are getting better after a long haul of working 7 days a week 12 hours a day for a couple of years. Having the grand kids has been priceless, I have a lot lot lot and much to be greatful for.
So that's what's up with me, and the depression is interesting, I want to get a psyche so I can understand it better, I honestly don't know what is situational and cognitive distortion, and what is maybe more chemical, I suspect its mostly situational but with a predisposition of some kind.
Estradiol Cypionate is finally available again after the shortage, I'm going to stock up as much as I can in case things go badly there, just can't tell.
But its like everything else when things get bad out there, choose happy as much as possible, make some kind of difference and don't let the meanies win. It's always been like this anyway, though now its more organized rather than the subverted stuff.
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May 13, 2024 23:20:30 GMT 8
7,160
Trinity
DES Trans
14,582
Nov 5, 2015 13:41:59 GMT 8
November 2015
trinity
Non-Binary
Sh'e, H'er, they them, she, he, whatever....
Bisexual
Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on Nov 28, 2023 0:07:53 GMT 8
Mammogram, went ok. Other test results are coming out ok or as expected based on age.
Working, comfortably.
Meeting with the shrink Friday, first time, depression has dropped back to mild, fairly constant, its my normal so its also fairly comfortable.
38 years sober today, anniversary, will be at AlAnon to be happy about that, spoke to a bunch of redneck folk in AA Saturday night, led off with the DES trans thing, then the whole story, eyes in the audience went from glazed bored to wide open full attention, it was really good, its a warriors story, not to say that in any other way but that it is, this place gave me a lot of the tools to fight and not back down from being true.
Lots happening here, we have it pretty tough due to family hardships and difficulties, lots of PTSD stuff, there's abuse scenarios that are going on, life has been that way, but there is so much more than that, the grand kids, still being together, keeping a wife in spite of full hrt, just losts to be thankful for.
I'm prepping for the worst during the elections, I don't actually think it will get there, but it really could because of the one traitor that seized control before and is again and then created an entire party of hatred. So, getting ready because I think it could easily get real bad with the crazy guy saying he's going to mobilize the army to take down any protestors if he gets elected.
Scary times, evil times.
Just dropping in saying things are ok here. I don't have any problems with people in spite of all this media hype, just have to play it smart and find the support and its out there. People respect people that have the guts to stand up for themselves and not be victims, its not what is said so much as who we are.
If you are reading this, be warriors and don't ever let people steal God from you. That to me is the real war right now and they have been very good at it. Who we are is between us and God and our doctors and is nobody else's business.
Blessings and Hugs.
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