Bigender & Genderfluid Identities: Binary presentation?

[EchelonHunt]

A question for those who identify as bigender or genderfluid.

Do your male and female genders conform to gender stereotypes or smash them?

Do you have a binary presentation, no matter which gender you present as?

I know bigender and genderfluid are non-binary identities but I can't help but notice that for a non-binary identity, their gender expressions of their bigender or genderfluid identities are pretty binary.

I know that gender expression is distinct from gender identity and shouldn't be put together but society does this anyway. Its shitty but curious to know what you all think.

The first genderfluid person I met seemed to conflate sexuality with his gender-fluidity. When he felt female, he has to shave his entire body, wear wigs and lingerie. In sexual situations, he is submissive rather than being dominant when he is male. He also considers himself a switch and is active in the BDSM community.

Do you see what I see...? To me, it looks like he is conforming to gender (and sex?) stereotypes of what it means to be a man or a woman.

Not that there is anything wrong with conforming to stereotypes, if that is what he's happy and comfortable being as a genderfluid person, more power to him.

My male and female self are so close to one another that they may as well be the same person. Both are flatchested, androgynous in appearance and like the same things. The only defining factor is they have different genitals but I disregard this because who would want to be defined solely by their genitals? They don't have any say in my sexuality because they aren't linked to that... just my sex, being physically male gets a say in that if that makes sense.

What do you think?

[Anato]

One time in a genderfluid group I asked if people felt like presenting themselves as feminine on their male days and masculine on their female days. Many people responded that they did.

As for seeing people as binary presentation, remember expectation plays a big role in what we see. It has been shown in studies that when people see a man with long hair they say long hair is masculine and when they see a woman with long hair they say long hair is feminine. Or when people perceive babies differently because of their sex. Male babies are seen as large and strong and female babies are seen as small and fragile just because people are conditioned to see them that way (and this is true even when the male and female babies are the exact same size and weight).

[EchelonHunt]

That's really interesting, thank you for sharing!

Kind of like how Western society is conditioned to associate blue with boys and pink with girls.

[Deleted]

Nice to have Anato.share.

Binary or andro or slight gq leaning guy or all guy.

Mostly out andro pushing female binary, but male voiced.

The big question is why.

Sh'e wants all girl and pretty, he doesn't care, we want h'er to feel ok, so we give h'er all we can.

But at center, physically, it's become really binary female, with awareness that I am not one. I am ts.

Interesting point. We have scope drift in const, more and more into the job

This sounds like gender presentation drift.

I present to be comfortable. I don't even shave on weekends, just look scruffy, war anything, totally.

Nb is more a mental state for me. Not so much physical, that's kinda girl. Like the pic.
Makes you think.

[Deleted]

Dressing opposite makes me feel dysphoria. If Sh'e is dominant. Mostly though I am at peace these days. Sort of.

Eye opener here for me.  I'm only he when I'm stealthy visually, but he's out socially all the time, taking charge, dealing with the guys.

Sh'e doesn't show herself except to Cynthia, cause Sh'e feels threatened at work.and I start protecting h'er, even though female presenting.

Startled them, when he speaks, but Sh'e has my body and presentation.  He has the voice and action, she the emotions.

Or maybe,  it's all just me.

What a journey we are on.

I do less gq now.  Prefer andro mix.

[Deleted]

To the point Jayce, I conform.
 -He.
Need to think more. Great topic.

[EchelonHunt]

It's not a bad thing to conform. I conform everyday just by presenting as male.

I wish I could not conform and break the binary stereotype of male by wearing my hair long and putting light make-up on in the morning. Cat winged eyeliner, a small dab of foundation, wearing a mix of female and male clothes - oh god, I'd love to wear a skirt and stockings in public and not fear getting beaten up.

But gotta wait for hair to grow. Gotta get the weight off. Gotta get top surgery

A lady eating at the food hall smiled at me today. I was surprised but smiled back. A million things ran through my head, did she think I was female or male? Was she maybe hitting on me? At the end of it all, I concluded she was smiling because it's the polite thing to do or perhaps smiling because she was eating her lunch and I had just sat down to eat mine. The point is, I worried myself over something so simple that I should have just taken it as face value rather than over-analysing it the way I did.

I like to push the boundaries, wearing my women's parka is one and not hiding my mannerisms that I use to express myself is another. I like to focus on the things that make me me, not the things that make me male.

Sometimes I feel conforming is a necessity in today's society in order to survive. The lesser of two evils, I suppose.

[Marooned In This Body]

my sides tend to like a lot of the same things but still have different personalities and tastes. for instance my female side loves make-up, purses, dresses, but can also tomboy it down, while my male side prefers the more trendy hipster look. sexually my female side is a switcher as far as dominance goes, on my male side he is submissive with aggressive tendencies and is highly into BDSM. i don't know if this really conforms to any stereo types or not, they both just do what they want tbh. hope this helps answer what you were asking.

-Ry

[Edge]

May 20, 2015 10:36:03 GMT 8 EchelonHunt said:

My male and female self are so close to one another that they may as well be the same person. Both are flatchested, androgynous in appearance and like the same things.

Same. For me, the only thing that noticeably changes is what I internally identify as.
I do dress as a "binary" guy (whatever that means), but that happens to be the same presentation I want when I'm female or androgyne anyway.
I'm going to be taking some pictures later of how I want to present. I am planning on sharing them here too.

[Deleted]

Oddly, I feel totally blended with no dysphoria, used only mascara, and don't feel like being anyone but me Nonbinary.

More later.

Thread jolted me, lot of change in perception is in play.

I look girl, just heavy makeup feels false at the moment. So, I ain't wearing it right now.

More later, dear people of freedom...

[Marooned In This Body]

May 20, 2015 22:53:19 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Oddly, I feel totally blended with no dysphoria, used only mascara, and don't feel like being anyone but me Nonbinary.

More later.

Thread jolted me, lot of change in perception is in play.

I look girl, just heavy makeup feels false at the moment. So, I ain't wearing it right now.

More later, dear people of freedom...

good for you. i love your avatar photos btw. 

[EchelonHunt]

May 20, 2015 20:47:38 GMT 8 Edge said:

Same. For me, the only thing that noticeably changes is what I internally identify as.
I do dress as a "binary" guy (whatever that means), but that happens to be the same presentation I want when I'm female or androgyne anyway.
I'm going to be taking some pictures later of how I want to present. I am planning on sharing them here too.

Oh, please do! I wanna do the same thing as well

[Deleted]

I wanna see the pics!!!

Ry

Thanks. The avatars swing with my moods hon.

Today they are everywhere, all ranges at the same time. Something Edge said allows nonlinear gender, different components playing, dynamic, very exciting, on the Sh'e body perception base.

I'm still exploring it.

She's enjoying my new shirt. It's provocative. Sh'e likes that. And he.

Hah!!!!

[Deleted]

May 20, 2015 19:10:13 GMT 8 EchelonHunt said:

It's not a bad thing to conform. I conform everyday just by presenting as male.

I wish I could not conform and break the binary stereotype of male by wearing my hair long and putting light make-up on in the morning. Cat winged eyeliner, a small dab of foundation, wearing a mix of female and male clothes - oh god, I'd love to wear a skirt and stockings in public and not fear getting beaten up.

But gotta wait for hair to grow. Gotta get the weight off. Gotta get top surgery

A lady eating at the food hall smiled at me today. I was surprised but smiled back. A million things ran through my head, did she think I was female or male? Was she maybe hitting on me? At the end of it all, I concluded she was smiling because it's the polite thing to do or perhaps smiling because she was eating her lunch and I had just sat down to eat mine. The point is, I worried myself over something so simple that I should have just taken it as face value rather than over-analysing it the way I did.

I like to push the boundaries, wearing my women's parka is one and not hiding my mannerisms that I use to express myself is another. I like to focus on the things that make me me, not the things that make me male.

Sometimes I feel conforming is a necessity in today's society in order to survive. The lesser of two evils, I suppose.

That's so right on.

Because we want that freedom, but hold ourselves back.

Most interesting mid trans point was mustache and eyeliner, genderqueer at work.

But a dress?

I wouldn't dare.

[Marooned In This Body]

i don't really look much different tbh. just different kind of make up and less boobs. lol