Getting where you want to be but your mind doesn’t catch up

[francxs]

I am in most respects at a place I’ve always wanted to be. I’m still in my marriage of more than 30 years. I can present as I want (mostly femme) at home. My wife, who has always been ambivalent about straight sex, particularly if she ends up feeling like she’s out of control, is enjoying being more of a top. Meaning sex is great for both of us.

We also have a very companionate relationship with lots of cuddling time. Basically, we’re a lesbian couple that occasionally has “straight “ sex.

What’s not to love, right?

What I’m struggling with is getting rid of 60 years of dissatisfaction, shame, and the habits of mind that go along with it. Why is it so hard just to be happy and contented? It’s crazy. I’m trying to find ways of normalizing contentment. I


Anyone else feel this way? Anybody succeed at changing their old habits?

[Ativan Prescribed]

Old habits come and go, sometimes just go.
I think its the realization that you are doing or thinking in a certain way is only because it is a habit that you then just stop.
It's not usually a sudden thing and it takes several tries sometimes, and sometimes just the realization alone does it without much thought at all.

[Trinity]

We get programmed by societal pressures, pressures of fear.

Even though we think our way through it, the body remembers the feelings and replays them. So I think it takes a while to get through all that.

Pen and paper can help.

But yes, it is similar with me, I wound up with psyche support and 12 step programs that have helped, and about ten years of talking here every day as well.