Building Local Community

[Ativan Prescribed]

It makes perfect sense, its the people trying to blend together with each other that have social anxiety, I mean they are always questioning if they are doing it right and if they are accepted.
There are always the ones who set the bar for everyone else to try and stay near it without going over it, going over is putting yourself above the ones who think they are the ones to follow.
Not getting close enough is just as bad, so when you don't follow the accepted and set by the ones who determine who you should be, you become free, they try to ignore or in the case of the butler to stare you down for daring to be different.
Step out of line and the man comes to take you away are old song lyrics, you have to stay within the lines they tell you, yet those lines are set by the very few who have convinced the followers they are above them all.
I was always the one who violated the dress code starting in Jr High, long hair and wearing whatever I damn well pleased and back in those days, the sixties, if you went outside the lines you were either a rebel or a loser... I chose rebel.
When I got into too much trouble and had to cut my hair and dress nice, I felt like such a loser but it didn't take long to get back into my groove.
It takes imagination and a daring spirit to step outside the lines, it becomes an art form, just like coloring outside the lines, done right it can be an art piece, it can be an original, it defies the norm and the norm is there to be defied.
Just like there is no reason for light without the darkness, normal is just a state of mind that begs to be broken and reformed into something better, thats also the essence of being woke.
Break out of the ordinary and dare to be who you are, the journey is a wonderful way to live and to be, go through life with your eyes wide open and trust your instincts.

[Leena]

I might blend in a little too well now. I sometimes almost feel invisible.

While in some ways, I don't necessarily want to be visibly trans and deal with the haters, I felt more comfortable when people that aren't haters couldn't not know.

[francxs]

Sept 20, 2023 23:14:12 GMT 8 Leena said:

I might blend in a little too well now. I sometimes almost feel invisible.

While in some ways, I don't necessarily want to be visibly trans and deal with the haters, I felt more comfortable when people that aren't haters couldn't not know.

An interesting quandary. Who would want to deal with the bullshit? Not me!

[Ativan Prescribed]

We all choose our battles carefully.
The haters are like scared little people who need someone or something to hate to make them feel better about themselves for being scared little people.
They are not worthy of the time or effort to challenge, once they see that no matter how much they hate will make no difference, they will wander off on a quest to someone or something else to push their scared little people hate on.
In the years they have been thinking they are the higher order of humans, they have yet to find anyone or anything that proves they are that, cockroaches just looking for the next thing to devour and then move on.
The only trouble really with them is that they leave their trails of filth everywhere they go, what have they done to better the lives of people? Nothing.

[Leena]

Maybe I do need to be out to people to really feel comfortable around them. While stealth sort of happens by default, it doesn't have to stay like that. I don't really like coming out to people, though maybe that's because I mostly have come out to people who weren't accepting.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Everyone forms opinions and ideas of people they meet, so just be yourself and if they say things that you want to elaborate on, then do that.
Who you are is just going to be who you are to yourself, others are always going to think of you as they see it regardless.
Even people who realize you are trans are not going to be sure unless you tell them that yes for sure you are, you know?
Because of the way the right has demonized trans and NB, they suspect the wrong people and have no clue about people who are in a lot of cases.
I think of it this way, I used to shoot people as my job, but I very very rarely tell people I meet in real life and its usually people I doubt I'll ever see again anyways.
Do any of them think I am to begin with? Do any of them think I am after I tell them? What is the criteria that people have for thinking they can read anyone at all?
The older people get the harder it is to read them as trans or NB, sure some things are give aways but you are the one who is doing that, you have control over what you reveal about yourself and to who.
They more you get to know anyone, the more you can open up to them, but at the same time its up to you as far as what you reveal, and most people can't tell for sure if someone is trans or NB.
Reality is, its much the same for lesbian and gay, its up to the person as to how much they reveal... nobody else can say with any high degree of certainty who another person is at all and about anything.
Can you say for certain that this person is rich or poor? Thats an easy one to fake, can you tell if the person has an education? That one gets a little harder.
So can you tell if that person is gay? Pretty doubtful and the people who claim to be able to know are faking it and they probably know less than the average person, the right tends to just overload on BS.
It's never just one thing about others, its hundreds of tiny clues as to whether you even want to get to know someone and it takes time and conversation to even get close.
How many people do you run across that you just read them and seem to know who they are? You can tell yourself they are this or that, but you really don't know and if they are interesting to you those things don't count and you know that.
You know that judging by appearance is the worst way to know someone, its a starter or not a lot of the time but it isn't about one thing, its all the clues you immediately know and pick up on and even then you know it isn't really that reliable.
You see someone all dirty and raggedy clothes... do you think they are like that all the time or do you even wonder if its just because they were doing some dirty job or helping someone do a dirty job, you really don't know.
The thing is, if you want others to get to know the real you, you have to put the real you out there and it can be hard but its worth it and when you do others tend to do it right back, thats the shortcut to knowing people and finding out who they really are.
Don't count people out and they won't count you out either, introverted or not, you do know how it works, you don't have to be alpha extrovert, you just have to not be closed off to others.
Just giving off that vibe of being friendly goes a long ways.

[Ativan Prescribed]

The real you isn't trans or NB or rich or poor or educated or not, those are just aspects and they just happen to be those, the real you is who you are and how you are, it isn't your gender or what you like sexually, its far deeper.
you can be trans and not be a person others want to know or you can be someone others do want to know, trans is just an aspect and is one of many, lots, hundreds of things that are.