Business before and after

[Trinity]

www.elle.com/life-love/a37507807/0106-0108-corporate-transition-october-2021/?utm_source=pocket-newtab

[Leena]

My experience in the industry pre-transition seemed quite a bit different than hers. I am a bit concerned I'll have similar problems to her in the future though.

[Trinity]

Oct 20, 2021 7:33:23 GMT 8 Leena said:

My experience in the industry pre-transition seemed quite a bit different than hers. I am a bit concerned I'll have similar problems to her in the future though.

I overcame mine for now but I present nonbinary, they know I am trans, but its not working with a different company and I read like an old rock player.

If I was presenting female it probably would be a lot different.

[Leena]

Oct 20, 2021 7:39:11 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I overcame mine for now but I present nonbinary, they know I am trans, but its not working with a different company and I read like an old rock player.

If I was presenting female it probably would be a lot different.

It just really isn't working out finding a job presenting feminine and going by Leena. It's not even making it to the part I have to out myself and show my ID or give my legal name for background checks, though I am getting plenty of interviews. That I'm really terrible at interviewing in general doesn't help.

Debating sending out resumes with my initials again and just presenting androgynous to see if that goes any better.

[Trinity]

Oct 22, 2021 8:26:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Oct 20, 2021 7:39:11 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I overcame mine for now but I present nonbinary, they know I am trans, but its not working with a different company and I read like an old rock player.

If I was presenting female it probably would be a lot different.

It just really isn't working out finding a job presenting feminine and going by Leena. It's not even making it to the part I have to out myself and show my ID or give my legal name for background checks, though I am getting plenty of interviews. That I'm really terrible at interviewing in general doesn't help.

Debating sending out resumes with my initials again and just presenting androgynous to see if that goes any better.

Big hugs.

If you can live andro, then I suppose it worth a try. 

That's gotta be discouraging though for you.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I handled interviews on the context of it being the same thing as like talking to someone your interested in like a romantic sort of way, but not the way you would just to get laid.
Talk about yourself as a person and not so much the business achievements, leave those for the written resume.
They want people to hire, if they just wanted a machine they could probably find one, use a sense of adventure and talk about those sort of things even if you have to interject them into their questions.
Give the positive things about yourself, make trans and NB a positive thing and one that you don't worry about, the grand adventure of overcoming the bad parts that society dishes out, you overcome in other words.
Same with the business stuff as well, how you did exceedingly well with the things you did do that with, everyone has the negatives that come up, show that you took the initiative to turn them into positives.
But overall, if you present yourself as having a sense of adventure, thats the thing that catches their eye and differentiates you from the timid and easily over run applicants.
Sit up straight and lean forward to accentuate the good things about yourself, show them that you are interested in them, ask questions about expectations they have and what they are looking for.
It's like getting to the point of asking them out on a date so to speak.
Don't just play a part that seems like what they want, you have to ask and if its a really s this sucks kind of answer from them, don't be afraid to tell them and ask them again about expectations or let them know they are not a good fit for you and excuse yourself to leave.
Its about being compatible with their plans, and if yours fits then its a go, otherwise its just an uncomfortable interview with people you really don't want to work for anyways, its about the journey, never the destination.

[Trinity]

One thing that has helped me is identifying a problem or a deficit in an organization and identifying myself as having the skill set to solve those problems.

That is how the business has increased this year, they realized I could solve certain problems for them, where they needed help, and I had the skills based on experience, and demonstrated that skill.

When I got my first job as an apprentice in construction, they had a set of blueprints on the table, I looked at the blueprints and read them for the guy, president of the company, and then he talked about discipline and I told him I was working as a messenger in the dead of winter delivering fine art for advertising agencies for sixty bucks a day, tell me if I have discipline....

They hired me on the spot.

It was about character and chutzpah, having the balls to show them I had skills that could be used and the guts to learn.

You have the guts to be yourself, and the skills I am sure, ask what they have a need for and are struggline with, show them you are the answer to their problem, a permanant asset that will make their lives better. And believe that yourself, be excited about being the solution to what they need.

It works.

[Leena]

Oct 22, 2021 10:43:17 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

I handled interviews on the context of it being the same thing as like talking to someone your interested in like a romantic sort of way, but not the way you would just to get laid.
Talk about yourself as a person and not so much the business achievements, leave those for the written resume.
They want people to hire, if they just wanted a machine they could probably find one, use a sense of adventure and talk about those sort of things even if you have to interject them into their questions.
Give the positive things about yourself, make trans and NB a positive thing and one that you don't worry about, the grand adventure of overcoming the bad parts that society dishes out, you overcome in other words.

That might be where I'm having issues. I think I am more attractive when I'm presenting more androgynous, especially in things that are appropriate for an interview. The few more feminine looks I do look good in aren't really the type of thing I can wear to the office.

I can't get into that thought pattern of feeling I need to cut my hair and wear a navy men's suit again though. While that has gotten me jobs, it forces me into pretending to be that guy while I'm somewhere I'm going to spend most of my time. That is the danger in backtracking on this.

I don't want to do that, but presenting feminine at work may not really be for me. It's important to a lot of trans women, but I guess I kind of even like being perceived as nonbinary more than being perceived as a woman. I don't enjoy trying to explain nonbinary or even binary trans to cis people though.

[Ativan Prescribed]

If they want gender rules applied to the job, you probably shouldn't be interviewing with them.
On the other hand, if they value people and not men and women, but people who can think outside the box, you're already there genderwise.
I have always worked from the standpoint that instead of working and thinking outside the box, just make the box bigger, ya know?
Reality is an illusion that has limitations because it uses the set of rules already established, to go farther you only have to suspend that sense of reality a little to expand the reaches of what you can do and be.
Step forward, always.

[Leena]

Oct 22, 2021 8:26:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Debating sending out resumes with my initials again and just presenting androgynous to see if that goes any better.

Couldn't bring myself to actually do that, but had a phone interview a few days ago for a job I applied to a very long time ago using my legal name. Doing this bothered me a bit more than I thought it would. Got an email last night that I didn't get the job, and I'm somewhat relieved.

I really don't know that I can take going back to being misgendered most of the day. Sometimes I still go back to thinking I am more fluid, but basically going full time during this pandemic really changed how I feel on the rare occasion I am expecting to be perceived as a guy. I really don't like it at all, I just was used to it, and now I'm not.

[Trinity]

Oct 31, 2021 2:09:41 GMT 8 Leena said:

Oct 22, 2021 8:26:31 GMT 8 Leena said:

Debating sending out resumes with my initials again and just presenting androgynous to see if that goes any better.

Couldn't bring myself to actually do that, but had a phone interview a few days ago for a job I applied to a very long time ago using my legal name. Doing this bothered me a bit more than I thought it would. Got an email last night that I didn't get the job, and I'm somewhat relieved.

Reminds me of going all in at Poker.

Hard to confront the fear and be who you really are, but with the stakes as high as they are for you feeling good about yourself, the question becomes is it worth it and what do you really want?

And I get remarks shot at me frequently by the cfo of my client, I don't know if he knows I am trans or not, it became a thing where everyone kind of knows but new people don't and my gender is my business so lets just talk business instead.

I just pushed hard to get the tools I need, I need a cpu that will support 4 monitors, sent a pic to the boss and she is kinda pissed, but it was ransomware on her server that forced me to decide it was too risky to log into it again using my personal company computer.

Trans just isn't the issue, the issue is am I going to be an asset or a liabiltity and can they get someone cheaper than me or not.

Right now that answer is not, and I have my work.

But its so different for me  because it is so easy for me to use my fluidity to my advantage.  That wasn't the case before, back in NY it was tearing me to peices and in the beginning of transition it was agony.   Far too many years of living a lie and when I threw that off it went crazy.  Plus trans puberty.

Hope you land a dream job soon.  I wonder if there is something related to benefitting trans or lgbt that could be helpful.

There is a book called What Color is you Parachute out there.  Its what I used to land the architectural hardware job.  Huge resource if you don't know about it.