First time letting your hair cut short

[Droomvlucht]

Does someone here have experience on getting your hair cut short? 

I've always had long hair, or half-long hair. This has several reasons: 
- I'm a lazy person, long hair isn't much work. You just comb it and, when long enough, make a tail in it. Short hair seems more work to me, I've heard you always need to put something in it to get it to make it look okay. 
- And you need to go to the hairdresser more often. And I really dislike going to a hairdresser (because I don't like people touching me, and it's so uncomfortable and those stupid conversations...).
- It's just something I've always had. I'm not the kind of person that's making changes because of changes. I'm more the kind of person that only changes when it's really necessary, the kind of person that feels most safe with what I know. 
- It felt safer when I am with my wife, it lowers the chance of negative responses. 

But since the first lockdown I had less contact with other people, didn't need to travel by train, didn't walk through busy cities and stuff like that, and that all felt great (in a way, in other ways it didn't) because I had the feeling I could feel myself more like myself, if that makes sense, just because having little contact with other people. And I realised how I often act on fear and wanted to quit that, even though fear on itself has brought me a lot, but I think it's time to try another tactic in my life to become (or rather: stay) happy. And one of the most concrete things is that I would like to have my hair cut short. Even though I still don't like to go to the hairdresser, even though the reasons above are still valid, except for the last one. We're living in a better neighbourhood now and now we have children people are more likely to see that we're together and I'm older and older people get less negative responses and have short hair more often anyway. 

But I just don't know much about this. Luckily the hairdressers are closed, so I've got plenty of time to ask advice and get used to the idea. I'll do it when the covid pandemic situation is over, because once I do this I need to go more often and I don't want to take the risk that the hairdressers will be closed again. Plus I won't have time before this anyway, because everything's so incredibly busy now. 

Some concrete questions to the ones who got experience with this:

- How did it go? Was the hairdresser hesitant? I feel like they are already hesitant each time I go now and I don't even want to do something really spectacular. 
- Did you have an example with you? How did you know which model you liked, if it would suit you? 
- What kind of stuff do you put into your hair? Is it difficult? Can you sleep with it or do you need to shower each evening? 
- Did you have regrets? 


Two side notes: 

First: Not sure if this is the right place to post it, maybe it belongs to another subforum. Please move it to there if that's possible! 
Second: feel free to correct my most horrible English mistakes, I'm willing to learn to make myself more understandable. It's a struggle for me to write in a language that's not my native language... 

[Leena]

I've had long hair most of my life. It sometimes has been an issue getting just a trim as someone perceived as a guy, but most places just want your money. I've occasionally been pressured into getting it cut short for work.

Short hair styles that look good depend a bit on your hair type and face shape. Do you have straight, wavy, or curly hair? It can help to look at pictures of people with your face shape and hair type to get an idea what you want.

I rarely wore product in my hair when it was short, though I sometimes used hairspray when I was growing it back out and was getting messy. You can sleep with it in but it isn't that comfortable, and doesn't look that great in the morning. I found it better to shower in the morning anyway, mine can curl in strange directions in bed when it's short.

[Droomvlucht]

Hmm someone told me that a hair product was really needed but that may not be true then?

Hair style, that was the term I was looking for, thanks!

My face has the Bert-shape as in Bert & Ernie. My hair is mostly very thick, it's straight but it might be not straight when it's shorter I like Alison Bechdel's style, maybe something like that. I just don't know how to start thinking about something like this, I rarely think about how I look or could look.

[nyx]

I can't say much about hairdressers because I had my mother cut my hair most of the times, especially now that all hairdressers are closed. I just told her that I want it really short, 'like a boy' and a bit longer on one side than on the other (asymmetric looks better on me I think). My hair is a mess by nature, it won't look the way I want it no matter if I use products or not, it is curled where I want it to be straight and vice versa... When it was longer, I put it together all the time because I hate when it falls in my face. Having it shorter is so much easier.
My strategy to look ok: shower in the morning when I have to go outside, comb it as long it's wet so it won't get too curly. Works for me. If I don't want to shower in the morning, I wet it a bit where needed, works too. (I am waaaay too lazy to put more effort on it...  )

[Trinity]

Older members here know what happens with me.... its always traumatic and has often been forced on me by others.

Right now it is finally where I can start feeling comfortable, an androgynous look just over the collar and over the ears about an inch.

I used to go to a hairdresser that cut it one way as male, and then modded that to feminine, it was a challenge, and she did a good job with it.  Depending how I combed it it could be multiple presentations.  My current hair is like that right now but looks like my avatar.  I look exactly like my avatar, that's a good picture of the real me.

In FL it has never worked out, the short cuts were too feminine for the family to handle.

It all depends on the cutter. But personally, I prefer, strongly, long hair for myself. And haircuts trigger great dysphoria for me, and its painful.

I'll stay in the sweet spot as long as I can. There is a point where it crosses over to a binary trans female presentation, I feel happy with that but my wife cannot handle it since she is a straight female and would be acutely uncomfortable in a percieved lesbian relationship, though I am not a lesbian, I am nonbinary trans.

It can be a major shock, to change up the hair a lot. Sometimes its best to try a wig on first and see what that looks like, and then make a decision because you got a preview of what was coming next when the scissors come out.

[Leena]

Product isn't really required for short hair, though it can be for certain looks. Really short hair like a crew cut is really low maintenance. Something longer than that may or may not need gel to hold it in place.

I mainly just cut my own hair. A lot of places don't know how to cut curly and wavy hair, and mine is more curly in the back, and almost straight in the front. I get more upset if I don't like how it turns out if I paid for it.

I think this is one of the better times to experiment with hair. I'm not sure I would have taken the risk of trying bangs in normal times, but I love how I look with them, though they were a bit shorter than I wanted initially. Hair will grow back eventually if you go too short. You could also try a medium length style first though.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I use a very very small amount of good castor oil on my hair in back after the tail, comes down to a little longer than the middle of my back and because it sit and lean back in a high backed office chair a lot when online, it keeps it from tangling up, nice shine as well.
I keep it brushed back in a more or less uniform way and that looks straight, but the tail is curly or wavy.
In the past when I kept it shorter it was a wash and go thing, anything that is like an oil, just the smallest amount was rubbed on my palms and then using my fingers like a brush while it was still wet, super wavy and/or curly, just that basic mess of thick hair look.

[Droomvlucht]

Feb 9, 2021 3:31:20 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Older members here know what happens with me.... its always traumatic and has often been forced on me by others.

Right now it is finally where I can start feeling comfortable, an androgynous look just over the collar and over the ears about an inch.

I used to go to a hairdresser that cut it one way as male, and then modded that to feminine, it was a challenge, and she did a good job with it.  Depending how I combed it it could be multiple presentations.  My current hair is like that right now but looks like my avatar.  I look exactly like my avatar, that's a good picture of the real me.

In FL it has never worked out, the short cuts were too feminine for the family to handle.

It all depends on the cutter. But personally, I prefer, strongly, long hair for myself. And haircuts trigger great dysphoria for me, and its painful.

I'll stay in the sweet spot as long as I can. There is a point where it crosses over to a binary trans female presentation, I feel happy with that but my wife cannot handle it since she is a straight female and would be acutely uncomfortable in a percieved lesbian relationship, though I am not a lesbian, I am nonbinary trans.

It can be a major shock, to change up the hair a lot. Sometimes its best to try a wig on first and see what that looks like, and then make a decision because you got a preview of what was coming next when the scissors come out.

That avatar is quite small but from what I can see, that hair cut looks really great  I'm sorry to have brought up a traumatic subject for you. 

I understand that's very difficult for you, our situations are very different there. I mean, when you'd get a hair style that looks really feminine, your wife could be perceived as a lesbian which she is not. If I get a hair style that looks really masculine/lesbian, my wife could be perceived as a lesbian. Which she is. 
We've been just avoiding the stereotypes to feel safer. And I'm fed up with that. 

Feb 9, 2021 6:03:47 GMT 8 Leena said:

Product isn't really required for short hair, though it can be for certain looks. Really short hair like a crew cut is really low maintenance. Something longer than that may or may not need gel to hold it in place.

I mainly just cut my own hair. A lot of places don't know how to cut curly and wavy hair, and mine is more curly in the back, and almost straight in the front. I get more upset if I don't like how it turns out if I paid for it.

I think this is one of the better times to experiment with hair. I'm not sure I would have taken the risk of trying bangs in normal times, but I love how I look with them, though they were a bit shorter than I wanted initially. Hair will grow back eventually if you go too short. You could also try a medium length style first though.

Low maintenance, that looks really good I could try a medium length style first indeed. I don't know. When I go to a hairdresser now I say: cut it until my cheek, and then I just let it grow until it's until my shoulders. 

The hairdressers are closed here at the moment, I guess they will be for at least a few weeks or months. And I don't want to have my hair cut short and then can't go to the hairdresser for weeks again, taking the risk they will be closing again, and that it's going to look really weird. But I guess when they're open again I won't immediately have to go to work again, and I quite like that idea, getting used to it first at home for a bit... 

[kalima]

I had short hair (above the ear and above the eyebrows) for my whole adult life until the pandemic, and I haven't cut it since. It is now on my shoulders. In my opinion, short hair is much easier. Now I have to brush through tangles every morning after I shower, no matter how much conditioner I use. I need to use more product on my hair now than I ever did when it was short. But my short hair would look pretty bad if I didn't shower in the morning, unless I was going for the bed head look. I didn't even use conditioner, and it never tangled. I would just brush it, let it air dry and go about my day.

But I guess it all depends on the type of hair and the look you are going for.

[Ativan Prescribed]

The longer your hair gets, the more it can get split ends from too much shampooing, I don't intentionally use shampoo on the ends, but just rinsing it out gets the ends at least somewhat cleaned with it.
The reason I put a drop or two of castor oil on a brush is to brush it through the dry ends, which is the eventual thing that happens to them, and once they start to split, they in general are going to from dryness.
I don't see an advantage with using conditioner on my hair since I tie it back and its pretty straight back like from the middle of my head it goes along that same axis to the back, there is no part in my hair.
I don't wash it everyday, it takes a few days for it to start feeling like it might be getting that greasy feeling, but for sure the ends have to be taken care of, dryness causes the biggest problems with my hair.
I use a silicone type of hair tie that is pretty much like a black O-ring, a couple twists is the usual, sometimes three if I'm going to be out and about without a hat on, which is the usual.
I have been wearing a floppy military style camo hat lately, keeps the sun off my face and out of my eyes, but I don't like the look so much, but I used to wear one all the time back in the day when I was working in the field.
Matches my camo cargo pants I guess, simple clothes for me, the style hardly changes, black T's in warm weather, comfy running shoes, I'm not into whatever stylish looks there might be, I live in the rural and it is pretty much a who cares anyways...
But short hair is easy for me to wear, towel dry and just leave it a mess more or less, lots and lots of curls to the point of Shirley Temple curls as it gets longer, what hangs loose from tying it back is always one to several big curls to the end.
If I ever cut it again, which I doubt, having it a few inches long is about right until its about six inches long, then it truly looks like a mess to me, the entire reason for not cutting is the simplicity of tying it back and ignoring it.

[Trinity]

Somewhere you have that incredibly badass pick of you in a short skirt topless with your hair down to your ass. That one rocked the forum, its from the back fortunately.

Wife would freak if she ever saw that one. She knows your "half and half" but doesn't know you can rock that look like that.

Anyway, for me, hair is a huge dysphoria trigger. Most of my body is actually, though I got a fairly ok deal out of this, just a bit small on top.

So what drives me is not creating a look, at this stage, but dysphoria itself.

I have that kind of binary trans body thing going with the nonbinary everything else. Though I can rock a beard if I feel like it too, badass nonbinary kind of look.

Hair is a big deal for me, and for others.

Ativan I think had theirs dyed a rainbow for a while.

[Ativan Prescribed]

It still has the blonde in it from that one time turning the grey to blonde using I think it was Hair Color for Men, if you can believe that, so lots of brown shades with a hint of red still other than the continuously getting more grey.
I have a salt and pepper goatee at the moment, along with that perpetual Gabby Hayes growth going on because I am too lazy to shave, especially since half my face is covered in covid mask whenever I leave my apt.
It did have a lot of color going on in that one pic, I'll have to look for it some time, new computer and I haven't transferred all of the over ten thousand pics from years of photography, and my camera needs to be all downloaded as well.
There are over a thousand in the cards in it, a few years worth of walking the trail and being to lazy then to download, out of all those pics, maybe a few percent are actually worth saving, lots and lots of duplicates with different settings on the camera.
I have lots of moon shots as well as sun spots using a rig I made to get an eclipse a few years back, fricken totally cloudy that day, seriously missed the closest eclipse in my lifetime because of clouds...
But I do have some interesting shots I took using a tripod and of me walking away and walking into the frame, everything is the same but because I am what changes, the camera picks me up several times in one frame.
I've used a like panorama sort of filter combining program that I can have myself or others in it as I pan the camera, so the shots are like for instance two sides of a house with that distorted view and having someone in several places.
Well there it is now, I have the need to load all my pics and sort through them,.. wonder how long that will last...

[Droomvlucht]

Feb 15, 2021 11:16:57 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

I have a salt and pepper goatee at the moment, along with that perpetual Gabby Hayes growth going on because I am too lazy to shave, especially since half my face is covered in covid mask whenever I leave my apt.

Last Friday I went outside wearing my mask, my sun glasses, my cap and the hoodie (?) of my jacket because it was both insanely cold & extremely sunny. You couldn't see any part of my hair nor face 🤣