Post by Ativan Prescribed on Dec 3, 2020 11:19:15 GMT 8
While I didn't actively push a feminine presentation, I didn't shy away from it either, the way I chose my clothes was always for the cut and how feminine it looked on me, shirts were a pretty big deal.
Tight jeans that showed off my ass was another thing, long hair and usually more of a feminine cut, but nobody ever said anything even close to like a Ma'am, but then facial hair was always a thing as well.
I did get comments on how I moved, it wasn't like the feminine walk that stood out, it was the fluidity and the people who noticed it were women mostly, it was never a negative thing.
Sex with woman was in general pretty good, and woman generally said that it was more like screwing another woman and talked about how much they liked that, and in general I was more welcome into their spaces than most guys.
There was nothing that stood out on its own, and nothing that anyone pointed a finger at, but I was told I had a lot of feminine qualities in a nice way, and I knew this right up front with quite a few men I hung around with.
It was never odd to them that they were comfortable being physically close, like when sitting or walking, one guy I used to lay on the couch alongside of him and watched movies, it wasn't like we were cuddling, but there was little to no space between us.
I noticed when other guys would take my arm, like grab a part of it when we were talking, and always just a little closer than they normally would, and I very rarely used anything like cologne or the like, mostly scented stuff causes or can cause a bad reaction.
I have had to walk away from people because apparently the bottle slipped and spilled half of whatever it was on them, I mean seriously I get physically sick, my blood feels like it rushes to my stomach and lightheaded is like fall daon dizzy, I have had to make people move away and sit on the floor to get away from the smell if I can't just get outside to fresh air, so none of that stuff for me, I have thrown away I don't know how many soaps I have tried and always end up finding something that works like soap and doesn't leave the smell on me for eternity.
But then I have had almost as many men tell me they like my cologne as women do, I just let it go and don't bother to say anything, guys are weird about it though, they get this confused look and then lean in and sniff, with the usual god that stuff is really nice, what is it as they turn red in the face.
But the overall reactions I in just general get from people is they tend to physically be a little closer to me than others, like to lean in and talk in my ear, touch is more than most people get from the same people and there is in general the slight hitting on moves from men and women.
Women tend to either go big with the hitting on moves or don't much at all, its a very subtle thing compared to most men, aggressive is pretty key to how they hit on women, and I tend to notice a lot of this, how people interact is or was important to me for most everything.
Growing up with this realization that gender designation was not what people thought it was, sure a person sex was apparent, but the entire gender thing and how I felt about myself was for years confusing and then eventually settled into this NB sort of thing, but I was alone in this, or so I thought.
By the time I was a teen, I knew for myself that girl and boy were just designations that others used, I can't remember ever saying I was a boy or girl, but then things girls liked I found interesting mostly, but then it was the same with the boy stuff, it didn't bother me that I had girl friends.
It was at about twelve that a girl told me she considered me to be more of a girl than a boy, and offered nothing of explanation other than that was how they saw me, not that I looked like a girl but that I was cute like a girl for being a boy, confusion was always around when it came to just thinking about this stuff, then as the other boys started to turn into young men, one day I was told by a friend walking behind me that I walk like a girl, never thought about it ever until that point, he went into this thing about this is how you walk and move and talk and on and on.
It was all easy enough to do, it was just playing a part like as if I was in a movie was how I saw it, and as it turns out, this same guy came out as gay when he was in his late thirties, but I knew before that, staying over at his house was sleeping together in the same bed, a couple years of mutual discoveries made...
But it was important and interesting to me as to how people interacted, and the differences between men and women, and how they interacted, and not in the big ways but the subtle ways, how men treated men and women treated women, how body language worked.
Then there was the way people talked, how they used words in different settings and how they used their voice to convey some meaning to words other than the words themselves.
Its interesting that men will in a lot of ways move and talk like they do to the woman in their life, to their closest friends, and couples develop ways that they talk without actually talking, and its pretty much the same with their friends.
It isn't about talking with a modded voice and doing the walk, or any moves really, its all about the package in general, the more feminine you are the more the entirety leans that way, and not that many women have the lean towards feminine in the classic sense of it, same as guys really don't do that much of the guy stuff.
But the overall appearance can be changed by the slightest of things, and the more of these subtle things that a person is aware of and does, the more they change to lean, and this goes both ways, but truly feminine or masculine is just not the general thing most people present.
But both sexes can and do come to full frontal presentation as if on command when they need to, and it can go either way for either sex, women have a leg up on feminine to be sure, and men default to a fake masculine when they feel threatened if it is even just another man in the same room.
In the day to day general scheme of things, most people can and do lean either way depending on what is needed at the time, like softness is not really a feminine trait, its inherent in both sexes, women just do it better because its expected and thats the rub of it all, acting in expected manner.
When people are just being people, no matter how practiced they are in social cues, they are themselves and it shows, if you as an NB tend to lean feminine then it shows, if you lean masculine it shows, but it is not even a package of things, it is the overall, the self.
Its a very fine line between the sexes as to how they move and talk and react to the world around them, what shows even more is dullness and sharpness, alert or sleepy like, and for both sexes the way they react is about the same, and sameness attracts more than difference.
You can find and see and imagine traits of both sexes in everyone, none are confined or owned by one or the other, and once you start to see people as just people and leave the acting behind, they react to you as you are because you simply reacted t them as they are.
Feminine and masculine become less of a gender thing and more of a person thing and you see people less and less as a gender and more and more as just people, the more you do this the more authentic you become, the less of a lie you are living, because others react to you as you do to them.
The goal here isn't in becoming different, its in becoming your true self, and this is something that others can see, while they might not agree with you about most things, they see and feel this honesty of who you are, when fear is replaced by trust, life becomes a helluva lot easier.
Tight jeans that showed off my ass was another thing, long hair and usually more of a feminine cut, but nobody ever said anything even close to like a Ma'am, but then facial hair was always a thing as well.
I did get comments on how I moved, it wasn't like the feminine walk that stood out, it was the fluidity and the people who noticed it were women mostly, it was never a negative thing.
Sex with woman was in general pretty good, and woman generally said that it was more like screwing another woman and talked about how much they liked that, and in general I was more welcome into their spaces than most guys.
There was nothing that stood out on its own, and nothing that anyone pointed a finger at, but I was told I had a lot of feminine qualities in a nice way, and I knew this right up front with quite a few men I hung around with.
It was never odd to them that they were comfortable being physically close, like when sitting or walking, one guy I used to lay on the couch alongside of him and watched movies, it wasn't like we were cuddling, but there was little to no space between us.
I noticed when other guys would take my arm, like grab a part of it when we were talking, and always just a little closer than they normally would, and I very rarely used anything like cologne or the like, mostly scented stuff causes or can cause a bad reaction.
I have had to walk away from people because apparently the bottle slipped and spilled half of whatever it was on them, I mean seriously I get physically sick, my blood feels like it rushes to my stomach and lightheaded is like fall daon dizzy, I have had to make people move away and sit on the floor to get away from the smell if I can't just get outside to fresh air, so none of that stuff for me, I have thrown away I don't know how many soaps I have tried and always end up finding something that works like soap and doesn't leave the smell on me for eternity.
But then I have had almost as many men tell me they like my cologne as women do, I just let it go and don't bother to say anything, guys are weird about it though, they get this confused look and then lean in and sniff, with the usual god that stuff is really nice, what is it as they turn red in the face.
But the overall reactions I in just general get from people is they tend to physically be a little closer to me than others, like to lean in and talk in my ear, touch is more than most people get from the same people and there is in general the slight hitting on moves from men and women.
Women tend to either go big with the hitting on moves or don't much at all, its a very subtle thing compared to most men, aggressive is pretty key to how they hit on women, and I tend to notice a lot of this, how people interact is or was important to me for most everything.
Growing up with this realization that gender designation was not what people thought it was, sure a person sex was apparent, but the entire gender thing and how I felt about myself was for years confusing and then eventually settled into this NB sort of thing, but I was alone in this, or so I thought.
By the time I was a teen, I knew for myself that girl and boy were just designations that others used, I can't remember ever saying I was a boy or girl, but then things girls liked I found interesting mostly, but then it was the same with the boy stuff, it didn't bother me that I had girl friends.
It was at about twelve that a girl told me she considered me to be more of a girl than a boy, and offered nothing of explanation other than that was how they saw me, not that I looked like a girl but that I was cute like a girl for being a boy, confusion was always around when it came to just thinking about this stuff, then as the other boys started to turn into young men, one day I was told by a friend walking behind me that I walk like a girl, never thought about it ever until that point, he went into this thing about this is how you walk and move and talk and on and on.
It was all easy enough to do, it was just playing a part like as if I was in a movie was how I saw it, and as it turns out, this same guy came out as gay when he was in his late thirties, but I knew before that, staying over at his house was sleeping together in the same bed, a couple years of mutual discoveries made...
But it was important and interesting to me as to how people interacted, and the differences between men and women, and how they interacted, and not in the big ways but the subtle ways, how men treated men and women treated women, how body language worked.
Then there was the way people talked, how they used words in different settings and how they used their voice to convey some meaning to words other than the words themselves.
Its interesting that men will in a lot of ways move and talk like they do to the woman in their life, to their closest friends, and couples develop ways that they talk without actually talking, and its pretty much the same with their friends.
It isn't about talking with a modded voice and doing the walk, or any moves really, its all about the package in general, the more feminine you are the more the entirety leans that way, and not that many women have the lean towards feminine in the classic sense of it, same as guys really don't do that much of the guy stuff.
But the overall appearance can be changed by the slightest of things, and the more of these subtle things that a person is aware of and does, the more they change to lean, and this goes both ways, but truly feminine or masculine is just not the general thing most people present.
But both sexes can and do come to full frontal presentation as if on command when they need to, and it can go either way for either sex, women have a leg up on feminine to be sure, and men default to a fake masculine when they feel threatened if it is even just another man in the same room.
In the day to day general scheme of things, most people can and do lean either way depending on what is needed at the time, like softness is not really a feminine trait, its inherent in both sexes, women just do it better because its expected and thats the rub of it all, acting in expected manner.
When people are just being people, no matter how practiced they are in social cues, they are themselves and it shows, if you as an NB tend to lean feminine then it shows, if you lean masculine it shows, but it is not even a package of things, it is the overall, the self.
Its a very fine line between the sexes as to how they move and talk and react to the world around them, what shows even more is dullness and sharpness, alert or sleepy like, and for both sexes the way they react is about the same, and sameness attracts more than difference.
You can find and see and imagine traits of both sexes in everyone, none are confined or owned by one or the other, and once you start to see people as just people and leave the acting behind, they react to you as you are because you simply reacted t them as they are.
Feminine and masculine become less of a gender thing and more of a person thing and you see people less and less as a gender and more and more as just people, the more you do this the more authentic you become, the less of a lie you are living, because others react to you as you do to them.
The goal here isn't in becoming different, its in becoming your true self, and this is something that others can see, while they might not agree with you about most things, they see and feel this honesty of who you are, when fear is replaced by trust, life becomes a helluva lot easier.