Being trans/nb and business presentations

[Trinity]

I have a major business thing tomorrow at the place I transitioned, and have decided to go in dressed male, no earring, but clean, long hair as it is, I should do my eyebrows tonight because they are a bit chaotic,  but I finally reached the place where its like, my gender is my gender, none of anyones business, and lets get down to work.


A lot of women will to this, they wear more of a masculine attire but it gets weird for  them because of the male patriarchy or whatever you call it, men seem to resent them doing that.  Its a messed up world.


But after 7 years or more of transitioning I finally feel comfortable enough to not care that much about the outer look, and my gender is what I will be in bed as and nobody's business, and I just feel cool with it.  Its not like I am not out, I am, but its like not the focus, its just, oh by the way, sh'e is trans, so what.


Its a shift from the in your face nonbinary trans I have been there, and I think its the right one as the owner of my own business.


Curious what we all do with the business thing, once we settle into who we really are?

[Trinity]

Sept 14, 2020 9:24:12 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I have a major business thing tomorrow at the place I transitioned, and have decided to go in dressed male, no earring, but clean, long hair as it is, I should do my eyebrows tonight because they are a bit chaotic,  but I finally reached the place where its like, my gender is my gender, none of anyones business, and lets get down to work.


A lot of women will to this, they wear more of a masculine attire but it gets weird for  them because of the male patriarchy or whatever you call it, men seem to resent them doing that.  Its a messed up world.


But after 7 years or more of transitioning I finally feel comfortable enough to not care that much about the outer look, and my gender is what I will be in bed as and nobody's business, and I just feel cool with it.  Its not like I am not out, I am, but its like not the focus, its just, oh by the way, sh'e is trans, so what.


Its a shift from the in your face nonbinary trans I have been there, and I think its the right one as the owner of my own business.


Curious what we all do with the business thing, once we settle into who we really are?

Turned out playing the cards like this was a smart move.  Keeps the focus on the business, and off my gender.  That's obvious enough as it is, even in a man suit.

[Leena]

Glad it worked out for you.

I have a feeling most men that resent women that dress more masculine at work resent them for even having a job, much less having one they are at an equal or higher position in the company.

Which is why I'm not really wanting to present masculine at work. I had long hair at work for decades, it was only a problem at a few places, but I was mostly just seen as a metalhead guy. I suppose I could continue to do that, but I don't really want to. I could do it for a short meeting, but I can't imagine subjecting myself to that for 40+ hours a week.

Really though, I'd rather just dress like a woman all the time. If there was some sort of business casual that screamed nonbinary, I might try it, but there isn't a nonbinary business clothes store or department. Some say the business world is a man's world, and that sort of is the case, but it is also a very binary world.

[Trinity]

Sept 15, 2020 2:06:20 GMT 8 Leena said:

Glad it worked out for you.

I have a feeling most men that resent women that dress more masculine at work resent them for even having a job, much less having one they are at an equal or higher position in the company.

Which is why I'm not really wanting to present masculine at work. I had long hair at work for decades, it was only a problem at a few places, but I was mostly just seen as a metalhead guy. I suppose I could continue to do that, but I don't really want to. I could do it for a short meeting, but I can't imagine subjecting myself to that for 40+ hours a week.

Really though, I'd rather just dress like a woman all the time. If there was some sort of business casual that screamed nonbinary, I might try it, but there isn't a nonbinary business clothes store or department. Some say the business world is a man's world, and that sort of is the case, but it is also a very binary world.

In that workplace I am just flat out revealed as trans, so its like, I don't give a shit what they think about the presentation or whatever, I just want to look professional.

Its not a big deal to me whether I am in jeans and a blouse and over the top, and I have been there in early transition, big time, or whether I am in a suit.  I feel less self conscious in the suit, so why not.  And if it makes them relax more, then that's not a bad thing.  I already made my point a long time ago about my gender.  The last thing I want is for it to be a distraction, as an independent vendor for that company, it will cost me money.

I personally would rather NOT dress as a woman all the time.  I find it to be too much of a pain in the behind, yeah its great for my nights out and social life, but for business it just gets in the way.  Its construction, and construction eats its young, so its far better for me to be the guy who has the balls to be trans and be who they are and gets down to no bullshit business, than for me to be percieved to be weak in any way, or worse, disruptive.

But I do think there is a parallel for how women in business are percieved.  This company is owned by a woman, tough as nails but fair in general, and I think that helps me there.  She rarely wears a dress, and I can pattern my behavior in a similar fashion to how she plays the game.

This is the lady who called the entire company together, told them she would tolerate nobody talking about my gender, and that if anyone had a problem with that, they could come in and talk face to face with her.  Only one person ever did that, and that person was told to get out of high school and if they wanted to keep their job, to shut up.

[Leena]

Most women don't wear a dress all that often. They aren't appropriate for a lot of jobs. There are some industries they are more common in, but construction isn't one of them.

I mainly plan on wearing something similar to what most women wear at work. I'm still kind of working on my interview look, though that often in general is more formal than everyday at the office kind of looks.