What feels fake to you?

[Trinity]

What about your gender, your movements, your actions, your person, feels fake or faked to you?

What about you is an act, or something like that, and what is truth?  Are you hiding your truth due for fear?  Are you hiding it from yourself?

What about it feels fake in other people?

Enjoy.....

[Trinity]

I play an audience, in male mode, out there. And the more threatened I feel, the more I play a role, and it gets unhealthy, exagerated. I deflect with humor, I tense up, theres a little bravado sometimes, but theres also a very real stregnth that gets shown, the protective he takes charge and he does not take shit from anyone anymore, brave little thing he is, learned behavior, maybe, but its a componenent that became very key in surviving the early years of my life. He's fake but he isn't fake either, its a part of me that guards the special part that needs protection and never got it.

The effects of shaming are pretty significant, it takes a while to unlearn it, but once you do, its a really freeing thing. Unfortunately the replacement feeling for shame can be anger, and is in me. It should be detachment instead, that's the healthier choice.

Drag, pushed, is totally fake. I barely go for lipstick, with me its eye work, maybe eye shadow, but lipstick is over the top for me. Red nails might also be, I don't go for girly, sure I have really nice clothes, but its not like the pink dress thing. Gypsy....bohemian beautiful, my deal. Spagetti straps and low cuts and a push up bra for the 34b's.

I don't feel fake with a 5 day beard, it doesn't bother me too much, but I like it better clean shaven. I feel totally fake with body hair. Fake and dysphoric. Mens pj's are fake to me, I feel just different, I interact different, its not a traditional male at all. And there is a hatred for traditional male in me and unfortunately I have a reaction around men that is like that, bull men are a major turn off and threat to me. It may not be their fake but its my danger signal.

Trying to fit in around men, when they are like that, feels totally faked. With women its easier, but the only place I really feel not fake, is with transfolk. Actually not so true, I am very comfortable around women and I related to them as women do to each other at a certain level, but clear of a lot of the bullshit, at least for me. I don't do trivial and I don't hang with shallow people.

Voice mod feels fake and I don't do it.

Putting on certain movements, fake, but on the other hand, theres movements that are very natural and they are feminine body language, mostly. But not always.

My body language is mixed, or so I am told. Can be very female at times.

What's fake?

Conforming to matrix rules in general, I think, anything over the top binary.

But pretending to be a man for me personally, thats totally fake.

[Leena]

Jul 2, 2020 8:40:53 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I play an audience, in male mode, out there. And the more threatened I feel, the more I play a role, and it gets unhealthy, exagerated. I deflect with humor, I tense up, theres a little bravado sometimes, but theres also a very real stregnth that gets shown, the protective he takes charge and he does not take shit from anyone anymore, brave little thing he is, learned behavior, maybe, but its a componenent that became very key in surviving the early years of my life. He's fake but he isn't fake either, its a part of me that guards the special part that needs protection and never got it.

The effects of shaming are pretty significant, it takes a while to unlearn it, but once you do, its a really freeing thing. Unfortunately the replacement feeling for shame can be anger, and is in me. It should be detachment instead, that's the healthier choice.

Drag, pushed, is totally fake. I barely go for lipstick, with me its eye work, maybe eye shadow, but lipstick is over the top for me. Red nails might also be, I don't go for girly, sure I have really nice clothes, but its not like the pink dress thing. Gypsy....bohemian beautiful, my deal. Spagetti straps and low cuts and a push up bra for the 34b's.

I don't feel fake with a 5 day beard, it doesn't bother me too much, but I like it better clean shaven. I feel totally fake with body hair. Fake and dysphoric. Mens pj's are fake to me, I feel just different, I interact different, its not a traditional male at all. And there is a hatred for traditional male in me and unfortunately I have a reaction around men that is like that, bull men are a major turn off and threat to me. It may not be their fake but its my danger signal.

Trying to fit in around men, when they are like that, feels totally faked. With women its easier, but the only place I really feel not fake, is with transfolk. Actually not so true, I am very comfortable around women and I related to them as women do to each other at a certain level, but clear of a lot of the bullshit, at least for me. I don't do trivial and I don't hang with shallow people.

Voice mod feels fake and I don't do it.

Putting on certain movements, fake, but on the other hand, theres movements that are very natural and they are feminine body language, mostly. But not always.

My body language is mixed, or so I am told. Can be very female at times.

What's fake?

Conforming to matrix rules in general, I think, anything over the top binary.

But pretending to be a man for me personally, thats totally fake.

I still don't really like this topic. It's too close to a transphobic talking point that trans women are men that are pretending to be women. Of course, in reality, it's the opposite. I tried my best to pretend to be a man, it just doesn't come naturally.

My new voice does not seem fake, I don't really like the idea that it could be. My old one was though, I actively tried to make it lower. People even called me out on it, saying my voice went up an octave when I got drunk or excited...

Drag isn't always fake either, there are plenty of trans women who do it. I'm not a big fan of cis guys dominating it and that the entire drag scene here is connected to a certain transphobic one that has a TV show. I still am a bit mad at myself I didn't do it when I was younger, it was really the only social outlet for someone like me back then.

Some say fake it until you make it. I was able to successfully fake it until I made it as a salesman. I had trouble faking being a heterosexual guy in more social roles. People just knew something was up, generally they thought I was a closeted gay guy. So close, but wrong closet.

I'm done trying to play the guy. It feels weird actively trying to pass as a guy. It was different when I would do it with little to no effort.