Post by Trinity on Jun 10, 2020 4:56:27 GMT 8
Lets face it, at least for me, there's a hole left because of being nonbinary/trans. There's a number of reasons for this, lot of past stuff, lot of present stuff.
But when it comes to our mental health, and mine in particular, there's a need to be aware that I have a hole to fill inside my spirit, and it drives me in various ways. It drives me to this tiny forum, it drives me to music, it frankly can drive me crazy, and in the dark days, it could and did drive me where you don't ever want to go....
Filling the hole. Do you have one because of your gender? How do you take care of it?
You pretty much know what I do with mine, its a fairly open book, it can be very painful at times, I tend to distract myself from it when I can, but the healthiest thing I think, is to just release the tension in my body, and be me. And to recognize that me is esteemable, and can be beautiful (or for you it may be handsome, whatever, or just plain attractive in that way of the spirit regardless of how you look). To know that the truth is what I have experienced, and that trans/nb is a birth thing, genetic thing, not to be downgraded or made to feel less than. Or to be shamed and manipulated for.
Those are the sins of the matrix, the false rules and bondage put upon us socially for whatever reason, I find no basis for its truth, the only truth I find is to love one another.
In all that means, with all of its responsibility.
And that act of loving can fill the hole, the hard part, and I've seen it kill, is when people have no one to love. But they can learn to love who they really are, and nurture themselves in a caring way, and that is the start of recovery and of birthing transition to you, or unveiling it, freeing who you are.
We live in a time of bondage, of sorrow, and of joys as well. A time of rebellion, and confusion, a dark time spiritually once again, but there are those who rise above that.
Ultimately there is a spiritual side to filling the hole inside, an important one, I won't force my beliefs on you but you all know where I stand.
But there can be a hole, a hollowness or a sadness that doesn't go away, but there is healing, and I believe that is found in embracing who you are, living clean, loving clean, and not letting anyone make you feel less than.
I also choose to protect myself from the poisons of the matrix, and its filled with it, worse than ever now. There are answers to that for me, its in creating an environment, like Von's cave, creating a place of solitude and beauty for yourself, even if its only in your own mind.
Do you feel like this?
And yes, for me, transition made a big difference. Its a nonbinary transition, one that lets me fly the matrix well and with joy, taking advantage of all that being nonbinary offers, but that was part of what was and is necessary to fill the hole inside me.
What do you do, am I making any sense or am I the only one that feels this way?
(Sh'e said as sh'e worked at h'er desk on an estimate, its hot in here,so its in a negligee and with soft piano music playing, surrounded by musical instruments, door closed and when I look down, I am very greatful that what I see is not male anymore, what's left is covered and I need it to be that way, what shows has been changed to sh'e.)
But when it comes to our mental health, and mine in particular, there's a need to be aware that I have a hole to fill inside my spirit, and it drives me in various ways. It drives me to this tiny forum, it drives me to music, it frankly can drive me crazy, and in the dark days, it could and did drive me where you don't ever want to go....
Filling the hole. Do you have one because of your gender? How do you take care of it?
You pretty much know what I do with mine, its a fairly open book, it can be very painful at times, I tend to distract myself from it when I can, but the healthiest thing I think, is to just release the tension in my body, and be me. And to recognize that me is esteemable, and can be beautiful (or for you it may be handsome, whatever, or just plain attractive in that way of the spirit regardless of how you look). To know that the truth is what I have experienced, and that trans/nb is a birth thing, genetic thing, not to be downgraded or made to feel less than. Or to be shamed and manipulated for.
Those are the sins of the matrix, the false rules and bondage put upon us socially for whatever reason, I find no basis for its truth, the only truth I find is to love one another.
In all that means, with all of its responsibility.
And that act of loving can fill the hole, the hard part, and I've seen it kill, is when people have no one to love. But they can learn to love who they really are, and nurture themselves in a caring way, and that is the start of recovery and of birthing transition to you, or unveiling it, freeing who you are.
We live in a time of bondage, of sorrow, and of joys as well. A time of rebellion, and confusion, a dark time spiritually once again, but there are those who rise above that.
Ultimately there is a spiritual side to filling the hole inside, an important one, I won't force my beliefs on you but you all know where I stand.
But there can be a hole, a hollowness or a sadness that doesn't go away, but there is healing, and I believe that is found in embracing who you are, living clean, loving clean, and not letting anyone make you feel less than.
I also choose to protect myself from the poisons of the matrix, and its filled with it, worse than ever now. There are answers to that for me, its in creating an environment, like Von's cave, creating a place of solitude and beauty for yourself, even if its only in your own mind.
Do you feel like this?
And yes, for me, transition made a big difference. Its a nonbinary transition, one that lets me fly the matrix well and with joy, taking advantage of all that being nonbinary offers, but that was part of what was and is necessary to fill the hole inside me.
What do you do, am I making any sense or am I the only one that feels this way?
(Sh'e said as sh'e worked at h'er desk on an estimate, its hot in here,so its in a negligee and with soft piano music playing, surrounded by musical instruments, door closed and when I look down, I am very greatful that what I see is not male anymore, what's left is covered and I need it to be that way, what shows has been changed to sh'e.)