Nonbinary gender politics my point of view, comments welcome

[catie]

We live in a world of patriarchal domination, archetypes of tyranny as assumed by males and females as within their “accepted” roles of identity which are shaped into societal norms and enforced by some as an excuse for committing violence and enforcing unspoken gender rules against those who dare to defy them. It begins with bullies at school who never grow up and continue to enjoy abusing those who do not fit into their definition of how a male and a female must behave. WE are ostracized by communities of every type and isolated which commonly is exasperated by only managing to maintain a very low income quite often due to the various forms of mental illness that this persistent abuse manifests within us invariably by the time we are in our twenties.

This is how I feel when I am in my 'down and feeling lonely and angry about the society mood' but then I pick myself up and remember who ''I" am and that I have always remained true to myself and never changed to be the female that society expects females to be. I actually cannot do it. When I was a young one I would try and wear the makeup and dresses and pretty earrings but I always felt that I was in drag and I am not into that, well not entirely, I must admit when on the odd and very rare occasion I have gone out all prettied up and I would dance to my hearts content like a drag queen but that was a long time ago and I am definitely not a drag queen it is impossible anyway for an obvious reason. I always wear pants/shorts and a top and flip-flops when it is hot and boots when it is cold. My hair has always been shoulder length as that is as far as my flimsy blonde hair will grow, I have grown used to being just me and I am happy with who I am and proud that I have managed to survive and still be here many decades more than I expected I would be and I this gives me strength.

I am new to this forum so I decided to put my basic beliefs of my life as a nonbinary woman up for everyone here to see and I am interested to see what people think and if they agree or maybe disagree with my belief system I have developed over the years. I always enjoy hearing other points of view be they ever so slightly different as we all have our own stories and we all perceive our experiences in life in our own individual ways.

[Trinity]

Apr 3, 2020 6:56:15 GMT 8 catie said:

We live in a world of patriarchal domination, archetypes of tyranny as assumed by males and females as within their “accepted” roles of identity which are shaped into societal norms and enforced by some as an excuse for committing violence and enforcing unspoken gender rules against those who dare to defy them. It begins with bullies at school who never grow up and continue to enjoy abusing those who do not fit into their definition of how a male and a female must behave. WE are ostracized by communities of every type and isolated which commonly is exasperated by only managing to maintain a very low income quite often due to the various forms of mental illness that this persistent abuse manifests within us invariably by the time we are in our twenties.

This is how I feel when I am in my 'down and feeling lonely and angry about the society mood' but then I pick myself up and remember who ''I" am and that I have always remained true to myself and never changed to be the female that society expects females to be. I actually cannot do it. When I was a young one I would try and wear the makeup and dresses and pretty earrings but I always felt that I was in drag and I am not into that, well not entirely, I must admit when on the odd and very rare occasion I have gone out all prettied up and I would dance to my hearts content like a drag queen but that was a long time ago and I am definitely not a drag queen it is impossible anyway for an obvious reason. I always wear pants/shorts and a top and flip-flops when it is hot and boots when it is cold. My hair has always been shoulder length as that is as far as my flimsy blonde hair will grow, I have grown used to being just me and I am happy with who I am and proud that I have managed to survive and still be here many decades more than I expected I would be and I this gives me strength.

I am new to this forum so I decided to put my basic beliefs of my life as a nonbinary woman up for everyone here to see and I am interested to see what people think and if they agree or maybe disagree with my belief system I have developed over the years. I always enjoy hearing other points of view be they ever so slightly different as we all have our own stories and we all perceive our experiences in life in our own individual ways.

We call it the matrix, some of us, most of us, after the movie.

You first paragraph for me hits the mark spot on, the second speaks to being the warrior, overcoming it and avoiding the greatest trap of all, which is being the victim.

Nearly every one of us on this forum has learned to be tough because we have to.  Truth to be told, we can be a little aggravated when someone isn't strong, but we help others as much as we can here.

There are many levels of courage, it can be in a relationship, a situation, surviving, a lot of things.

I'm not a drag queen either, far from it, nor a drag king, as a nonbinary entity for me it all comes natural, but not pushing too far to the she part or too far to the he, both feel false to me.  Not to imply the matrix driven spectrum, but the presentations flow that way in society.  I personally enjoy being all of it.

So yeah, I get it, I can identify with this, in a different way.  But its not a down and lonely thing with me, its acceptance of the world as it is and seeing what I can do to take advantage of the good and outlast the bad, and what's my part in living trans....

Its a journey, and its a journey back to being mentally healthy, through acceptance, sharing with others, learning who we are and regaining our truths.  The spiritual side is heavier but the healings are also there and can free us more of the matrix or trap us further in it, in my experience  those of us who are lgbtqi have been so mauled that we lose the essence of who we were meant to be, the ultimate form of bullying and the one they do not have the right to do.  Its a deeply personal matter for all of us.

One the biggest things about being trans/nb is learning how to not let the poison in the world take us down or invade our spirits, and how to seize that which is good and take it home for ourselves.

Seeing through the matrix, disempowering it, finding our truth and the balance and the consequences of our choices, is the beginning of it, and eventually, like Neo, or like Trinity in some ways, we learn to fly and to thrive, and to love.

[Yuki]

Apr 3, 2020 6:56:15 GMT 8 catie said:

We live in a world of patriarchal domination, archetypes of tyranny as assumed by males and females as within their “accepted” roles of identity which are shaped into societal norms and enforced by some as an excuse for committing violence and enforcing unspoken gender rules against those who dare to defy them. It begins with bullies at school who never grow up and continue to enjoy abusing those who do not fit into their definition of how a male and a female must behave. WE are ostracized by communities of every type and isolated which commonly is exasperated by only managing to maintain a very low income quite often due to the various forms of mental illness that this persistent abuse manifests within us invariably by the time we are in our twenties.

This is how I feel when I am in my 'down and feeling lonely and angry about the society mood' but then I pick myself up and remember who ''I" am and that I have always remained true to myself and never changed to be the female that society expects females to be. I actually cannot do it. When I was a young one I would try and wear the makeup and dresses and pretty earrings but I always felt that I was in drag and I am not into that, well not entirely, I must admit when on the odd and very rare occasion I have gone out all prettied up and I would dance to my hearts content like a drag queen but that was a long time ago and I am definitely not a drag queen it is impossible anyway for an obvious reason. I always wear pants/shorts and a top and flip-flops when it is hot and boots when it is cold. My hair has always been shoulder length as that is as far as my flimsy blonde hair will grow, I have grown used to being just me and I am happy with who I am and proud that I have managed to survive and still be here many decades more than I expected I would be and I this gives me strength.

I am new to this forum so I decided to put my basic beliefs of my life as a nonbinary woman up for everyone here to see and I am interested to see what people think and if they agree or maybe disagree with my belief system I have developed over the years. I always enjoy hearing other points of view be they ever so slightly different as we all have our own stories and we all perceive our experiences in life in our own individual ways.

I stay mad at society, even when I'm in a good mood. Whatever society thinks is normal generally doesn't seem to be healthy for anyone. Not even the people who love to try to enforce it by bullying.

But yeah I tried the really feminine thing for a while, too. There were a few years that I thought that, maybe if I did what everyone said I was supposed to, life would be easier for me. It wasn't. It was the same, except I was miserable because I was trying to be someone I'm not. So I don't bother trying to be anything in particular, other than myself. I like feminine and masculine things. I wear both and I enjoy both but I don't gender them, they're just my things that I like. I don't have the energy to care what it might mean to someone else if they see that I like this thing, or that thing.

My hair is whatever is convenient at the time. Sometimes long is convenient, so I let it grow so that I don't have to worry about having to go and get it cut regularly to keep the shape of it looking decent. Right now, buzzed is convenient. Although my buzz is starting to grow out already and needs to be re-done. But I'm about to be living out of a semi truck with my husband on the road, and we might not have access to showers daily, so short will be much easier to keep clean in a sink or whatever. When I don't have to worry about that anymore, then it'll probably be long again. It is easier to keep longer hair from looking stupid. I woke up this morning and my short hair looked like it grew wings...

Anyway I think most of us on here do pretty much agree with what all you've said. There might be some slightly different points of view, but I think we all agree that society's gender norms are all kinds of messed up. I'd be interested to see a nonbinary person that didn't think that, to at least some degree, lol

[Leena]

Apr 3, 2020 6:56:15 GMT 8 catie said:

We live in a world of patriarchal domination, archetypes of tyranny as assumed by males and females as within their “accepted” roles of identity which are shaped into societal norms and enforced by some as an excuse for committing violence and enforcing unspoken gender rules against those who dare to defy them. It begins with bullies at school who never grow up and continue to enjoy abusing those who do not fit into their definition of how a male and a female must behave. WE are ostracized by communities of every type and isolated which commonly is exasperated by only managing to maintain a very low income quite often due to the various forms of mental illness that this persistent abuse manifests within us invariably by the time we are in our twenties.

This is how I feel when I am in my 'down and feeling lonely and angry about the society mood' but then I pick myself up and remember who ''I" am and that I have always remained true to myself and never changed to be the female that society expects females to be. I actually cannot do it. When I was a young one I would try and wear the makeup and dresses and pretty earrings but I always felt that I was in drag and I am not into that, well not entirely, I must admit when on the odd and very rare occasion I have gone out all prettied up and I would dance to my hearts content like a drag queen but that was a long time ago and I am definitely not a drag queen it is impossible anyway for an obvious reason. I always wear pants/shorts and a top and flip-flops when it is hot and boots when it is cold. My hair has always been shoulder length as that is as far as my flimsy blonde hair will grow, I have grown used to being just me and I am happy with who I am and proud that I have managed to survive and still be here many decades more than I expected I would be and I this gives me strength.

I am new to this forum so I decided to put my basic beliefs of my life as a nonbinary woman up for everyone here to see and I am interested to see what people think and if they agree or maybe disagree with my belief system I have developed over the years. I always enjoy hearing other points of view be they ever so slightly different as we all have our own stories and we all perceive our experiences in life in our own individual ways.

I knew I was trans as a kid, and wasn't allowed to transition, though got away with being pretty gender non-conforming. People sometimes tried to bully me, but I was bigger and stronger than most of them and could fight back.

I did go through a period of trying to ultra masculine, but it didn't really work for me socially, because I don't know what a guy should say or do. It just doesn't come naturally to me, so I would just not say or do much of anything.

I kind of wish I had done drag. I had a bisexual friend that tried to talk me into it when I was younger, and it might have been fun. I'm not at all like any of the famous drag queens though, I'm a very quiet and serious person, maybe too serious.

I don't like being angry, while this society does give quite a lot of reasons to be angry, it's not a healthy thing to be angry all the time. It's actually what those that bully want. It's much better to just laugh at them, or better yet humiliate them and make others laugh at them.

[Trinity]

Apr 3, 2020 23:56:30 GMT 8 Leena said:

Apr 3, 2020 6:56:15 GMT 8 catie said:

We live in a world of patriarchal domination, archetypes of tyranny as assumed by males and females as within their “accepted” roles of identity which are shaped into societal norms and enforced by some as an excuse for committing violence and enforcing unspoken gender rules against those who dare to defy them. It begins with bullies at school who never grow up and continue to enjoy abusing those who do not fit into their definition of how a male and a female must behave. WE are ostracized by communities of every type and isolated which commonly is exasperated by only managing to maintain a very low income quite often due to the various forms of mental illness that this persistent abuse manifests within us invariably by the time we are in our twenties.

This is how I feel when I am in my 'down and feeling lonely and angry about the society mood' but then I pick myself up and remember who ''I" am and that I have always remained true to myself and never changed to be the female that society expects females to be. I actually cannot do it. When I was a young one I would try and wear the makeup and dresses and pretty earrings but I always felt that I was in drag and I am not into that, well not entirely, I must admit when on the odd and very rare occasion I have gone out all prettied up and I would dance to my hearts content like a drag queen but that was a long time ago and I am definitely not a drag queen it is impossible anyway for an obvious reason. I always wear pants/shorts and a top and flip-flops when it is hot and boots when it is cold. My hair has always been shoulder length as that is as far as my flimsy blonde hair will grow, I have grown used to being just me and I am happy with who I am and proud that I have managed to survive and still be here many decades more than I expected I would be and I this gives me strength.

I am new to this forum so I decided to put my basic beliefs of my life as a nonbinary woman up for everyone here to see and I am interested to see what people think and if they agree or maybe disagree with my belief system I have developed over the years. I always enjoy hearing other points of view be they ever so slightly different as we all have our own stories and we all perceive our experiences in life in our own individual ways.

I knew I was trans as a kid, and wasn't allowed to transition, though got away with being pretty gender non-conforming. People sometimes tried to bully me, but I was bigger and stronger than most of them and could fight back.

I did go through a period of trying to ultra masculine, but it didn't really work for me socially, because I don't know what a guy should say or do. It just doesn't come naturally to me, so I would just not say or do much of anything.

I kind of wish I had done drag. I had a bisexual friend that tried to talk me into it when I was younger, and it might have been fun. I'm not at all like any of the famous drag queens though, I'm a very quiet and serious person, maybe too serious.

I don't like being angry, while this society does give quite a lot of reasons to be angry, it's not a healthy thing to be angry all the time. It's actually what those that bully want. It's much better to just laugh at them, or better yet humiliate them and make others laugh at them.

For years I would hide it, and it literally drove me insane at some levels.

By the time I was 25 I was a cross addicted alcoholic living way past the edge.  Actually I went over the edge much earlier than that, summer of 76 really.   But it took until 1984 for it to cost me literally everything, and my story isn't public with that, but I wound up in a condemned apartment in Harlem for a number of years, mugged 7 times, knowing hunger too well, shakes for 2 years of withdrawl.  It was seriously bad.

I could have transitioned then, but I screwed that up.  I had the chance.  But, I have kids, a family, a loving wife, so it is ok, but there is still a LOT of pain over that choice.

But in the early years, though I was born NB and know it, remember it clearly, the mismatch between body mind and soul with me, wrong body gender, different mental gender, those years it just tortured me.  I could not move as boys moved, it was pure hell.

In the college years, I would get blitzed, dress in lingerie under my clothes, and head for the gay bar to see if I could be picked up.  Often I was but many times I was too drunk to have sex and that was a good thing, because of AIDS which i never got.

So it was never drag to me, if I had gone out fully femme, it would have been more to my truth.

We didn't understand anything of this stuff in the 70's.  I don't like to think of it too much, there is too much pain, so I live in the now.  Looking back is too hard, its only now that I can do it and take the best of what was, and keep some things behind locked doors in my mind.

[Leena]

Apr 4, 2020 0:48:09 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Apr 3, 2020 23:56:30 GMT 8 Leena said:

I knew I was trans as a kid, and wasn't allowed to transition, though got away with being pretty gender non-conforming. People sometimes tried to bully me, but I was bigger and stronger than most of them and could fight back.

I did go through a period of trying to ultra masculine, but it didn't really work for me socially, because I don't know what a guy should say or do. It just doesn't come naturally to me, so I would just not say or do much of anything.

I kind of wish I had done drag. I had a bisexual friend that tried to talk me into it when I was younger, and it might have been fun. I'm not at all like any of the famous drag queens though, I'm a very quiet and serious person, maybe too serious.

I don't like being angry, while this society does give quite a lot of reasons to be angry, it's not a healthy thing to be angry all the time. It's actually what those that bully want. It's much better to just laugh at them, or better yet humiliate them and make others laugh at them.

For years I would hide it, and it literally drove me insane at some levels.

By the time I was 25 I was a cross addicted alcoholic living way past the edge.  Actually I went over the edge much earlier than that, summer of 76 really.   But it took until 1984 for it to cost me literally everything, and my story isn't public with that, but I wound up in a condemned apartment in Harlem for a number of years, mugged 7 times, knowing hunger too well, shakes for 2 years of withdrawl.  It was seriously bad.

I could have transitioned then, but I screwed that up.  I had the chance.  But, I have kids, a family, a loving wife, so it is ok, but there is still a LOT of pain over that choice.

But in the early years, though I was born NB and know it, remember it clearly, the mismatch between body mind and soul with me, wrong body gender, different mental gender, those years it just tortured me.  I could not move as boys moved, it was pure hell.

In the college years, I would get blitzed, dress in lingerie under my clothes, and head for the gay bar to see if I could be picked up.  Often I was but many times I was too drunk to have sex and that was a good thing, because of AIDS which i never got.

So it was never drag to me, if I had gone out fully femme, it would have been more to my truth.

We didn't understand anything of this stuff in the 70's.  I don't like to think of it too much, there is too much pain, so I live in the now.  Looking back is too hard, its only now that I can do it and take the best of what was, and keep some things behind locked doors in my mind.

So I drank and did a lot of drugs too when I was younger, but to me it was mainly fun. I'm able to moderate, but if I slip up and drink more, I have, in the past been more of a functioning alcoholic, and run into trouble when I'm not employed. I refuse to have that AA mindset that I should feel bad about drinking though. Or being trans. It seems a lot of trans and non-binary people do let others tell them they should feel bad about themselves.

Which is why think it's rare for trans and non-binary people to have high self esteem. Maybe that is what I appreciate most about drag queens.

[Trinity]

Apr 4, 2020 2:29:23 GMT 8 Leena said:

Apr 4, 2020 0:48:09 GMT 8 Trinity said:

For years I would hide it, and it literally drove me insane at some levels.

By the time I was 25 I was a cross addicted alcoholic living way past the edge.  Actually I went over the edge much earlier than that, summer of 76 really.   But it took until 1984 for it to cost me literally everything, and my story isn't public with that, but I wound up in a condemned apartment in Harlem for a number of years, mugged 7 times, knowing hunger too well, shakes for 2 years of withdrawl.  It was seriously bad.

I could have transitioned then, but I screwed that up.  I had the chance.  But, I have kids, a family, a loving wife, so it is ok, but there is still a LOT of pain over that choice.

But in the early years, though I was born NB and know it, remember it clearly, the mismatch between body mind and soul with me, wrong body gender, different mental gender, those years it just tortured me.  I could not move as boys moved, it was pure hell.

In the college years, I would get blitzed, dress in lingerie under my clothes, and head for the gay bar to see if I could be picked up.  Often I was but many times I was too drunk to have sex and that was a good thing, because of AIDS which i never got.

So it was never drag to me, if I had gone out fully femme, it would have been more to my truth.

We didn't understand anything of this stuff in the 70's.  I don't like to think of it too much, there is too much pain, so I live in the now.  Looking back is too hard, its only now that I can do it and take the best of what was, and keep some things behind locked doors in my mind.

So I drank and did a lot of drugs too when I was younger, but to me it was mainly fun. I'm able to moderate, but if I slip up and drink more, I have, in the past been more of a functioning alcoholic, and run into trouble when I'm not employed. I refuse to have that AA mindset that I should feel bad about drinking though. Or being trans. It seems a lot of trans and non-binary people do let others tell them they should feel bad about themselves.

Which is why think it's rare for trans and non-binary people to have high self esteem. Maybe that is what I appreciate most about drag queens.

They don't care about if you are trans or not.  And the ones that do generally get into trouble later.

Me, there's no moderation. Not even close.  If I drink, I die.

[Leena]

Apr 4, 2020 7:26:53 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Apr 4, 2020 2:29:23 GMT 8 Leena said:

So I drank and did a lot of drugs too when I was younger, but to me it was mainly fun. I'm able to moderate, but if I slip up and drink more, I have, in the past been more of a functioning alcoholic, and run into trouble when I'm not employed. I refuse to have that AA mindset that I should feel bad about drinking though. Or being trans. It seems a lot of trans and non-binary people do let others tell them they should feel bad about themselves.

Which is why think it's rare for trans and non-binary people to have high self esteem. Maybe that is what I appreciate most about drag queens.

They don't care about if you are trans or not.  And the ones that do generally get into trouble later.

Me, there's no moderation. Not even close.  If I drink, I die.

Some people just can't. I was getting close to being like that for awhile, but the idea of transitioning gave me something to live for.

I'm never going back to how I was. I probably would have had this happened a year ago. Even if there currently isn't going to be much to do the next morning, I don't like being hungover at all.

I do need to find new things to, since it looks like it's going to be a long time before I'll be doing the things I liked doing. I was really starting to enjoy my life, going out and doing things how I wanted to and looking like I wanted to. 

[Yuki]

I started drinking, and doing some drugs, when I was probably about 14 I think. But honestly it wasn't related to anything to do with my gender. In high school, I did go back and forth with how I dressed. Some days were more feminine, other days it was a t-shirt and hoodie and men's pants. I guess not too different from what I do now. It's funny that I went from that, to trying to be super feminine to make people happy, and then right back to how I dressed originally. Lol

But I was never given any shit for it. The style I had, it was pretty common for girls to wear the men's pants. And sometimes for the men to wear the women's pants. They even did a thing for a short time where you could buy "Men's one-legged pants".... which were essentially skirts.

I hung out with the goths and punks and all of that, so no one paid attention to what gender of clothes you were wearing. My parents didn't care either, as completely and insanely awful as they are in every other way, they didn't care what I wore.

...but they also didn't care that I drank and did certain drugs, and they'd just want me to do it with them when they did it. So yeah.. literally the only upside was that they didn't care what I wore. lol

But I don't have much of an addictive personality. I did things just to escape from everything mentally, since I couldn't escape physically, so in a way it kept me alive through everything. But I had no problems quitting everything once I was able to get away and didn't have things I needed to escape from. I drink off and on, mostly I don't do it very much because I don't enjoy being drunk more than maybe once a year, and because of stomach problems. Unless I'm going through a lot of depression or something, but even then, I still just get tired of it honestly.

Weed I'll still do when it's easily available, but I don't go out of my way to get it. So most of the time I go years without it, anyway. But a little bit of it does help shut my brain up enough that I can fall asleep, so that can be nice when I have it around. But I never fall down a hole with it when I do have it, so I don't worry about that.

Anything else, I don't do anymore. All of the other shit I did was stupid and just out of desperation.

My husband does have more of an addictive personality though and that can be scary to watch with some things. He'll easily go out of control with anything he finds that he enjoys, I don't ever want him to go to a casino... I can't imagine. lol. He almost got addicted to the valium he was prescribed for his anxiety that he was supposed to take for emergencies. But he started taking it every day, and then more and more each day as time went on, and he took it everywhere with him so he could take some whenever he felt like it. And then the defensiveness when I'd tell him maybe he should slow down with it and not take as much, too. That was a scary time. He has learned to regulate himself with things a little better now, though, or at least to listen to me if I notice he's starting to get bad with something.

But anyway yeah no one ever gave me too much shit about how I dressed. It was more, my mom would be happy if I dressed feminine. But she wouldn't give me shit for not. I think she gave up on that when I was a kid. She wanted me to be her little dress up doll, and I hated it, so she gave up after a while. I just wanted to exist and go climb some trees, or something. I didn't want to be pretty when I was 7. Hahaha. I wanted to go stare at bugs.

Actually, I still want to go stare at bugs... there should be bug hunts for adults.

[ossiduous]

It's good to be strong and have a sense of yourself despite the largely binary societies we live in. I find it hard to view nonbinary genders as a political thing though. Some of us are just like this and it's not because of this or that in society. We've just always been like this. At least that's how it is for me. Being myself, I was never fem enough nor masc enough to be one thing or the other thing in the eyes of others. I relate to you in this sense because this got me ostracized for being a weirdo. I grew up without words for "me" so I just lived accepting that there was no word and that people would assume as they please and I didn't care at all. I still mostly dislike all available labels and have given up on having a word. They're convenient for finding similar minded people and fighting for the cause of trans and nonbinary rights. When I'm alone in the world just being part of the universe as a living being, I don't think of these things at all.

[catie]

I have been reminded how most of my life I have been constantly, by females, that is, my family be it my mother, sisters, my daughter, when I react to certain things I feel strongly about it is something that woman are not expected to react to and that i am reacting like a man and apparently this is not to be put up with by women, they allow men to do as they please it seems and many seem to behave in revolting ways,(in the main in their own company ie no women present) and this is perfectly okay. I have found this to be so infuriating just the fact that there are certain ways that men are allowed to express themselves and that it is accepted behaviour while a female must just keep quiet and say nothing or you are told off for expressing your opinion in the same manner as males. So it is not just how we appear to people, there is a whole unspoken world of how we are expected to behave.

Over the years I think people have just got used to the way I am and I hear them say stuff like, that's how Catie is and such things. Pretty pointless trying to change the way a person behaves once they are my age I suppose but it is still not accepted by them as I am regarded as I am regarded as being of the female gender, whatever that is. I still find it annoying the way men can get away with sometimes outright rudeness and thoughtlessness with women (something I would never do)and with what seems in the end to be submissive behaviour woman show to men, for example male's opinion is better than theirs (even though they believe it is not of course but say nothing and just laugh,like it is an inbuilt genetic behavior pattern that has developed over thousands of generations of abuse as a survival mechanism which in the end is ruled by patriarchal means of basic brute force particularly still in many third world countries where women find it virtually impossible to have a say in anything and will be punished if they try.

At least in the western world after many years of constant pushing this has changed to a certain extent and we are free to be ourselves within limits and I believe this is how we, that is the trans and nonbinary who have hidden away from society or not been able to live authentic lives can now feel that we are members of the human race at a level not permitted in this highly dysfunctional society that has developed over the last say 7 thousand years.I honour those who have the ability and the strength to keep pushing the boundaries that have been our jail for such a long time so that eventually we will be free of this tyranny that exists, created and maintained by in the main, the heterosexual men.
Being nonbinary has given me the ability from an early age to see through these built in behaviors that are indoctrinated into us from the day we are born and there are those few who have the ability and the skills to keep trying to change these behaviours to stop the subjugation of women. I was listening on the Philosophers Zone last night on the radio to a brilliant young woman, an academic at Sydney University, Millicent Churcher talking about this in regard to sexual behaviour and that society needs to develop an honour code for women which means that when one woman is violated then all woman are being violated in that one act so that men then will know that what they are doing is wrong which still at this time has only changed with a limited number of men in the world.

An honour code for nonbinary and trans people being treated with respect and acceptance sounds a good idea to me too.Gradually these acted out gender roles will drop away and everyone can be just who they truly are. Yes fantasy land I am sure but it would be a great world to be in, which also reminds me, I have been watching Dispatches from Elsewhere over the weekend.I find the nonbinary character in the show so lovely and the actress is gorgeous and I am enjoyed this show very much, so nice to see a show with people that I can identify with.Transparent was also great fun to watch.

[Ativan Prescribed]

I've never lived up to others expectations of how I am supposed to behave and I certainly don't allow others to tell anyone their expectations as if they are to be followed.
One thing I made perfectly clear to my daughters is that they can be act and do as they please so long as it isn't hurting others.
I just smile when I think back at them being teased by adult men and them telling those men to fuck off, and going back to what they were doing.
Both of them are outstanding people in what they do and take no shit from anyone about how they act and how they do things.
Both have national recognition for things they have done and both are on their own and don't depend on a man to take care of squat for them, in fact the one divorced her new husband the second she found out he had expectations of her meeting his needs so that he would then take care of her.
They are both known for being much more kind hearted than most people could ever be and they go out of their way to always help anyone in need if they can help.
Both are way above average in intelligence and always had good grades mostly at the top of their class, and they can both do things that most men can't do because they are practiced at what they do and most men just try to bluff their way through.
Neither of them particularly like guns yet they are proficient with several styles, neither one has ever lacked for having guys as friends and more, and their boyfriends consider them to be the best they will ever find.
They can both drive trucks with trailers as big as semi trucks and they both never get stuck winter driving, they drive better than most men I have seen driving and who have years more time on the road.
They both are very good at taking care of wounds that are bleeding all over on their animals and the one also does this with people, not squeamish at all because they have never had that expectation laid on them.
The real bottom line is the very second anyone lives at the levels of expectations leveled on them as this is what is expected, they are stuck with that forever, the very second you live past those and live up to your own expectations, you get to live with that forever.
Letting anyone anywhere stifle someone because they have expectations that someone needs to live at is pure conditioned bullshit and that conditioning is living at others expectations.
The very idea of expectations for people is a conditioning process to make them obedient to that person with those expectations.
Can't do something because it isn't within someones expectations of your ability as a person, then learn how to do that something, the thing that holds more people back is someone telling them they don't think that person can do that, and the conditioning lets people expect that sort od conditioning as a part of the expectations they are supposed to have.
Is there anything that anyone thinks they can't do because some asshat said they didn't think they could?
Go out and do it and tell them to fuck off, nobody has any right to lay expectations that limit another person.
I have spent my entire life telling people to shut up and fuck off for telling me I can't do something because they think it might be too hard to do.
And I will always help others meet their own personal expectations for themselves, but I will never ever let someone tell another person they can't do something because that person doesn't think they can.
It's others expectations for people that show their own shortcomings, just look at the president the weak in this country elected and how well he can cope with expectations, he can't because he has never had to learn to be better.