C-PTSD vs Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder

[Yuki]

I came across this article earlier on Facebook and thought it was really interesting, with some important distinctions.

It's stuff I already knew, to a degree... but mostly to the degree of, "I know this bothers me, so I should try to avoid it."

And I did know that GAD does have some differences from C-PTSD. Hubby has GAD. 

I believed I had C-PTSD but never went to a psych about it and I thought I was over most of it and that it didn't affect me enough anymore to worry about it in particular.

But after reading this, I think maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it is the leftovers from C-PTSD that make it hard for me to do things, more than anything else does. It helped me kind of connect the dots on a lot of things, including why everyone in this house really drives me so much more crazy than they seem to drive everyone else. I mean, hubby is affected by them to a degree... but it's worse for me.

So, stuff makes sense now. And it solidifies my decision to keep my mom and sister out of my life, because they really will only ever just drag me back down. If I'm ever going to get better and be more functional, I need away from everyone who is like that and everyone who played a part in my abuse.

Also, reading the article helped me understand some things about myself that I can kind of use in the future, like once we're out in Arizona, to get better, too.

All of that from a relatively short article... haha. But it came at a good time, since we're literally about to leave in a few days.

themighty.com/2018/06/anxiety-from-complex-trauma/?utm_source=engagement_bar&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=facebook_share&fbclid=IwAR3RjPup7ZIoH3Qu5lPjtNwVtIJIC7opo5zkO_6psjD-a08bTYeDygH_5a4

[Ativan Prescribed]

Ptsd is just a way of life for me, some days are better than others and sometimes its kinda fun in the oddest of ways.
Like the cat rubbing on my leg, I don't have a cat, even if I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye.
But there are certain things that trigger the worst of parts in my life that I wouldn't wish on others.
There are smells and noises that morph into things they aren't, and I never know what the next one might be.
I take mini press at night to keep the adrenaline flow down when dreaming, they think it is the trigger for nightmares, and it works for me.
I get some very disturbing dreams still, don't think it stops that, and they are almost as hard to get out of, but at least I don't have the nightmare ones anymore, not as much...
But yah, how the different things can interrelate to other things and trying to figure out if they are a maybe, a lot of overlap and that is hard to navigate through.

[Yuki]

Jan 10, 2019 12:44:19 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

Ptsd is just a way of life for me, some days are better than others and sometimes its kinda fun in the oddest of ways.
Like the cat rubbing on my leg, I don't have a cat, even if I keep seeing it out of the corner of my eye.
But there are certain things that trigger the worst of parts in my life that I wouldn't wish on others.
There are smells and noises that morph into things they aren't, and I never know what the next one might be.
I take mini press at night to keep the adrenaline flow down when dreaming, they think it is the trigger for nightmares, and it works for me.
I get some very disturbing dreams still, don't think it stops that, and they are almost as hard to get out of, but at least I don't have the nightmare ones anymore, not as much...
But yah, how the different things can interrelate to other things and trying to figure out if they are a maybe, a lot of overlap and that is hard to navigate through.

I just figured mine was mostly gone, with only little bits here and there left. I don't have the constant anxiety attacks from stuff that reminds me of things (or maybe I do, but more minor and not over every little thing anymore) and the recurring nightmare I used to have, that makes me wonder if other things happened that I don't remember. So I figure, oh, this must just be regular anxiety kind of left over.. and I've been treating it that way, basically. But obviously that hasn't helped. Lol.

I did have a new nightmare the other night..

Some stranger breaking into the house with guns. I was trying to scare him off when he pulled them out. They were small and not deadly, I guess something like a bb gun as far as how much damage they could do, but he shot me with them anyway and pulled out a more dangerous gun to threaten me with. Hubby was there and saw the whole thing, but still decided to ignore me and become friends with the person with the guns.

I figured it was playing on my fear of everyone I know eventually siding with my abusers, and since hubby is the last one I have left, that's why he was the one in the dream betraying me like that this time.

And then I found that article... lol

I guess it really isn't mostly gone. But since I know that now, maybe I can find ways to handle it better or work around it and actually have it work. That would be nice.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Jan 10, 2019 13:52:43 GMT 8 Yuki said:

Jan 10, 2019 12:44:19 GMT 8 Ativan Prescribed said:

I guess it really isn't mostly gone. But since I know that now, maybe I can find ways to handle it better or work around it and actually have it work. That would be nice.

There are a variety of real life things that have happened to me or around me, having different effects depending on what was happening at the time.
And then there is the afterwards, for days some things just got to me on various levels and there wasn't the kind of thinking it through to find a neutral in it all.
So PTSD happens in very weird ways at times, I might have a sudden feeling of being in a situation from the past, but I treat those now the same way I treat things that are good from the past.
I create ideas and other visions of things than the ones that recur the most, the trouble that there can be so many things and then variations on them, so the cover visions have to be broad and effective for a lot of things.
It gets complicated and I think there is the fallback things that check those things that rise to the surface, like the cat I don't have, but I have had cats around me all my life just about.
The bottom line is that I have developed coping mechanisms instead of trying to figure them out, or even analyzing them, because that never works to lessen the effects.
It is a go with the flow approach and like most everything, when you do there is less that affects you than say the more fringe that are upsetting the flow, to whatever degree.
The nightmares are the things that just hover around certain things, but those have a ton of inner events in them that range from you don't want to know to it's to hard to explain.
I've never slept through a night for most of my adult life, maybe a few times and like dreams, I don't really remember how many times I woke up and why.
But there are the flashes of those dreams that involve events and they can morph off into other similar ones and do that fast flipping from one thing to the next and become overwhelming.
I know they were bad when I catch the flashes of of them and am startled that I am not really there in them, and then there is a fast flood of remembering things better left forgotten.
But there is that same thing about treating them just the same as the things that are good, even good dreams and I do have those and even moreso now that I use mini press, the adrenaline stuff.
I know people who are bad off with PTSD and they use it during the day as well, it just takes the jumpiness out of things, the startle effect isn't as bad so there is less flashback of events.

But anxiety works it way into it all and it can be before something or after, cause or result, and that is hard to control as well, but I have been able to just push back on it as a way of control.
I know there is no real reason to have anxiety despite that it feels like there is a something going on, but there isn't and slapping reality into the equation seems to work as good as any meds I have used.
I do drink to much coffee and that can add to anxiety and rocket it off into the panic stages because caffeine is really my drug of choice and I use to much, so I use L-Theanine.
I get the powder form in bulk from amazon, it isn't that much considering I have half the original amount left more or less, and for the I don't know maybe twenty thirty bucks, a dose is cheap as hell, cheaper than coffee.
But depending on how fast and far anxiety has gone or is going, one or two of these tiny scoops just slaps that anxiety stuff behind the door it came out of, but not sleepy, in fact the caffeine buzz is still going strong, but anxiety is way down or gone, read up on it and think about that as a shortcut for when anxiety or anything that brings it on, it just takes it down in a matter of minutes, you can feel it going away and you notice a small smile coming back.