Unique Top Surgey / AFAB NB Transition Plans

[paintarya]

Hi all, I am new here. I came out as nb trans about 4 years, changed my name to Paint and started using they/them pronouns. I naturally have facial hair for whatever reason and plumped it up using mascara for a while but don't currently as it seems to have darkened naturally. I have been seeing a gender psychiatrist in Canada (Edmonton, Alberta) for 2 years, but he had to stabilize my bipolar before we could do gender stuff, and that was terrible, I had horrifying reactions to anti-psychotics (they caused my eyes to be stuck in a rolled up position, ocular dystonia or "upstaring" as I called it, rendering me functionally blind for hours at a time). I am now stable on epival, though I would like to be on ADHD meds too the psychiatrist doesn't recognize that I have ADHD and would not allow me to see another doctor while seeing him, so my plan is to wait until post-transition to have a functional brain, ugh. I've finally been on T for a few weeks now and its been good, hoping for bottom growth, the plan is short-term T though I do like the effects it has on my brain so I will be sad to see it go when its time.

Whenever the topic of surgeries came up I evaded the question because I wasn't sure the doctor would be accepting and I was scared it would affect my chances of getting T. I am inevitably going to have to bring it up at my next appointment in Jan now and admit that I've hidden this from him the entire time I've been seeing him. My main plan was that I only wanted one breast removed. It's not an aesthetic thing (though I have tattoos/tattoo plans that's gonna make it look pretty awesome), its more of a focusing awareness on different part of my body to validate my dysphoria. The dysphoria has gotten worse since starting T too and I really want the breast gone as soon as possible.

Also I wasn't aware of all the options for bottom surgery, I just found out about clitoral release where you cut the ligaments or pull the clit outward or whatever without messing with the vagina, this seems to be what I want.

When I've shared my transition plans I've gotten about 90% support, 10% your co-opting transness and not really trans backlash so I am really hoping I don't get that here. I have wanted to have only one breast removed ever since I came put basically, 3-4 years.

Thanks for any support/advice

[Leena]

Hi Paint!

I have ADHD, and am not medicated. I'm somewhat functional, somehow. That seems kind of strange that your doctor wouldn't let you see another while seeing him.

I think you might face a lot of gatekeeping with your surgery plans. I should say I kind of naturally have one small breast and one pec. How they look vary a bit as my weight fluctuates, but no matter what they are never close to symmetrical, and my left side is going to look more masculine. That I physically have a masculine and feminine side does fit me though. There is a bit of a bias in this society towards symmetry, finding a surgeon that will do this may be difficult.

[Avery]

I'm not sure how accessible it will be to you or if you will face issues with your insurance, but Dr Scott Mosser in California bases his practice around accommodating non binary patients and customizing surgery results so you might have some luck there