EJ
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Gender: No Clue
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Orientation: asexual-panromantic
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ej
No Clue
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Post by EJ on May 11, 2018 10:03:38 GMT 8
www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_rPnxUEYFEI really loved this vid. It helped me validate myself by understanding that I don't need a lot of body dysphoria to be trans, so I wanted to share it
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Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on May 11, 2018 10:45:34 GMT 8
I was fascinated by it.
Made me think. Not all trans folk transition, they did transition, I loved the nonbinariness in that vid.
Social dysphoria....
Its a good vid
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Post by Ativan Prescribed on May 11, 2018 11:01:35 GMT 8
This is something that I have stressed in the past and haven't said much lately. Dysphoria comes in different flavors so to speak, and what you experience is the social dysphoria like in the vid. I tend to see it as the construct of society, and the power that it has over us, like the Matrix, we are not in control. But once recognized for what it is, it's just a matter of reminding yourself until it is just the way you see it. Society dictates so much of what we do, and I see articles about NB and Genderqueer that just don't work in any world I know of. The fashion statements, they are androgynous, but not NB, makeup is a big thing that they try to sell as NB, it's really androgynous. So many things and even people try to dictate what the look of NB is, and there is no such thing, there just isn't, it isn't about presentation. We have a couple members looking to get surgery, breast removal, and I applaud there efforts and the approaches they have taken, it's about them, not society. But we do share some of these things that we each find as uniquely ours, a step away from the societal dysphoria of binary, but we don't ask others to do the same, we just share our individualism as NB, and that's the bottom line in this social dysphoria if you want to call it that (of course you can). But I also see newbies coming in and they invariably ask questions about if this or that is acceptable presentation, it is if it you, it isn't if you are trying to express a NB look, and a lot of people do that as well. It's perfectly fine, but it isn't any different than paying attention to the current fashions and makeup and whatever that the binary world offers, androgynous doesn't mean NB, but most certainly an NB person can look as androgynous as they want, they can look like whatever, and the best is if it is a comfortable look for them, that they feel like it is them and not beholding to NB, but it can. Whatever you decide as far as how you look and act and present on anything is automatically NB because you are and it's what you are doing. But it's for you, not anyone else although they can like it and do that themselves, but they will make it theres anyways, their NB... Looking androgynous or any version of that is just what it is, but it isn't who you are as an NB, that's the internal you and that can't be taken away. If you think you are required to present in a certain way for others, then you are following the social construct, maybe even the NB one because it exists as well. The point is, NB is who you are, not who you look like, unless that is you, then that is the reflection of you and not the construct, you are outside of the matrix when you do that.
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Non-Binary
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Post by Trinity on May 11, 2018 11:24:59 GMT 8
It's been a while since we talked about the "core". I personally have said this many times, in the physical I am rather binary trans, in the core, I am not.
In the core, I am sh'e, I am neither boy nor girl, I am trans, and it is nonbinary trans.
Its not as radical in presentation as a lot of NB's. It's a variable, subtle, but powerful nonetheless, when I am androgyne, or full out.
Its a knowledge of who I am, like Ativan says. And the vid, they talk about conforming, fitting in. I don't fit in and I don't want to fit in. They can keep that for themselves, they are not trans, I am trans.
I want to fit in, translated, be loved as who I am by, feel a sense of belonging with, ... my other trans brothers and sisters and others.
I want to be "part of". I always was "less than" instead. And its a sharp sword.
Social dysphoria for me has been rough, and I hit the groove so to speak binary stealth feminine. But no matter how I look, or the fact that I am a lot more comfortable with the women, and see the men as this horde of tribal somethings that are, well, men.... it still does not change the fact that I am nonbinary, not of their nature, and I am also trans....
I always said I walked the tightrope between binary and nonbinary trans. I do, but nothing can push me off the tightrope anymore, I know who I am.
What is trans anyway? They transitioned, loved doing it. But transition is not a requirement for being trans. Not fitting the gender assigned at birth.... I think that is the real thing about it.
From the day I was born, my earliest memories, I have been trans. But I never thought I was a woman.
It was always transwoman. Or on other days, androgyne. Male energy, body, by me, breasts and penis included. Textbook physical definition of an androgyne.
My core is nonbinary. Its so hard to explain it.
Sometimes I get scared that I am too binary in transition for the forum. But then, I swing over into the other part of my truth, and its as immersive as the stealth side.
There is no right or wrong way to be nb, and there is no right or wrong way to be trans.... except to live a lie. For me anyway.
Its lying to my self, conforming to peer pressure (unless its to avoid getting killed), or living the lie and living the matrix...not manipulating the matrix, I manipulate it, I become who I want to become to take advantage of the contstructs and enjoy what they offer....but being manipulated by the matrix, thats a thing.
Saying that, I do enjoy living as a woman. Trans stealth, or out, but yes, its just so much better than living as a guy.
I don't know, I'm kind of old, I can do the warrior thing of nb presentations and frequently do. But its taking on the matrix head on, as opposed to using it to blend in and to hide in plain sight.
I don't know if this sounds like babbling, or truth.
Right now, you can't tell the diff between me and a TS woman. On the street if I go andro or male you can. And TS girls can't handle that.
But the core of it always is, I know I am not a woman, and that does not bother me.
It crushes TS women. They cannot handle that. A million ways to be trans.
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timelessexplorer
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Gender: Non-Binary
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Pronouns: He/His/Him
Orientation: Pansexual
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Post by timelessexplorer on May 13, 2018 12:42:14 GMT 8
As a mental health professional the term dysphoria is used to describe a person's internal state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life. Basically the person is sad and has a general negative view about life. Certainly, we can become upset when people treat us poorly but whether we become dysphoric about their treatment is determined by how we handle societal's rejection.
Body dysphoria is a mental disorder characterized by the obsessive idea that some aspect of one's own body part or appearance is severely flawed and warrants exceptional measures to hide or fix their dysmorphic part on their person. A person with this disorder may not have any gender issues at all. Further, a person who is transitioning may have little or no significant body dysphoria.
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Post by EchelonHunt on May 13, 2018 22:51:17 GMT 8
EJ, I love that you linked UppercaseCHASE's video! I love his videos! I am sorry, TE. I've been through the dysphoria vs. dysmorphia debate so many times, it's not funny and I must clarify difference between the two because there is a very distinct difference and I can see you have confused dysphoria for dysmorphia. "Have a distorted view of how they look" is to be emphasised. Even when people with body dysmorphia get surgery to correct their perceived flaws, the perceived flaw is still there. The dysmorphia is causing a disordered perception of one's body that needs to be resolved through treatment, either therapy or medication, perhaps both, depending on the patient's needs. Gender dysphoria is recognised as a medical condition, it is not a mental illness/disorder. It's certainly possible for someone who is transgender/non-binary and they don't have any dysphoria but that someone who is transitioning may have little or no dysphoria? Highly unlikely. Little dysphoria, yes but if the person had zero dysphoria, they would struggle to get a diagnosis for gender dysphoria to be able to even begin transitioning. When people finish medically transitioning, many report that their dysphoria is gone and they finally feel congruent in mind, body and soul. Gender dysphoria is prerequisite for someone to medically transition (e.g. HRT, surgery) A transgender/non-binary person can of course, change their name, pronouns, gender marker (if their state doesn't require proof of GRS/SRS as a requirement to change gender marker) and in all sense of the word, socially transition without requiring medical transition (e.g. HRT or surgery) if they have social dysphoria rather than gender dysphoria. You will definitely find that transgender/non-binary folks have some form of dysphoria and they do not exhibit any signs of dysmorphia. Here is a dysphoria chart that expands more - Body dysphoria is the one that commonly drives the "My body doesn't fit my perception of it so I must change it to alleviate dysphoria" narrative. It is the fundamental aspect of medical transition. I have a lot of bottom dysphoria. Social dysphoria is basically that - how you are perceived by society. Being called the correct name, pronouns and being perceived as what you perceived yourself as. I know I'm currently experiencing a lot of social dysphoria from being viewed as male. Mind dysphoria is not talked about as much. Someone on reddit said, "It could be internalized sexism, transphobia, or homophobia. Those started out as social issues, but if you internalize them to the point that you feel those things towards yourself (rather than just having them directed at you by other people) then I think that would fall under mind dysphoria." I hope this clears up any confusion, TE!
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EJ
New Member
Posts: 28
Gender: No Clue
Presentation: Gender Neutral
Pronouns: They/Their/Them
Orientation: asexual-panromantic
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Nov 6, 2018 11:44:15 GMT 8
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EJ
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Apr 6, 2018 7:26:10 GMT 8
April 2018
ej
No Clue
Gender Neutral
They/Their/Them
asexual-panromantic
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Post by EJ on May 14, 2018 8:21:22 GMT 8
EJ, I love that you linked UppercaseCHASE's video! I love his videos! I am sorry, TE. I've been through the dysphoria vs. dysmorphia debate so many times, it's not funny and I must clarify difference between the two because there is a very distinct difference and I can see you have confused dysphoria for dysmorphia. "Have a distorted view of how they look" is to be emphasised. Even when people with body dysmorphia get surgery to correct their perceived flaws, the perceived flaw is still there. The dysmorphia is causing a disordered perception of one's body that needs to be resolved through treatment, either therapy or medication, perhaps both, depending on the patient's needs. Gender dysphoria is recognised as a medical condition, it is not a mental illness/disorder. It's certainly possible for someone who is transgender/non-binary and they don't have any dysphoria but that someone who is transitioning may have little or no dysphoria? Highly unlikely. Little dysphoria, yes but if the person had zero dysphoria, they would struggle to get a diagnosis for gender dysphoria to be able to even begin transitioning. When people finish medically transitioning, many report that their dysphoria is gone and they finally feel congruent in mind, body and soul. Gender dysphoria is prerequisite for someone to medically transition (e.g. HRT, surgery) A transgender/non-binary person can of course, change their name, pronouns, gender marker (if their state doesn't require proof of GRS/SRS as a requirement to change gender marker) and in all sense of the word, socially transition without requiring medical transition (e.g. HRT or surgery) if they have social dysphoria rather than gender dysphoria. You will definitely find that transgender/non-binary folks have some form of dysphoria and they do not exhibit any signs of dysmorphia. Here is a dysphoria chart that expands more - Body dysphoria is the one that commonly drives the "My body doesn't fit my perception of it so I must change it to alleviate dysphoria" narrative. It is the fundamental aspect of medical transition. I have a lot of bottom dysphoria. Social dysphoria is basically that - how you are perceived by society. Being called the correct name, pronouns and being perceived as what you perceived yourself as. I know I'm currently experiencing a lot of social dysphoria from being viewed as male. Mind dysphoria is not talked about as much. Someone on reddit said, "It could be internalized sexism, transphobia, or homophobia. Those started out as social issues, but if you internalize them to the point that you feel those things towards yourself (rather than just having them directed at you by other people) then I think that would fall under mind dysphoria." I hope this clears up any confusion, TE! Thanks! This really helped provide insight into what I was feeling and how to put it into words.
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Post by Von on May 14, 2018 23:26:26 GMT 8
I didn't realize what I was feeling, when I was all presented the way I wanted to, binder on and guy clothes picked out - why was I still feeling shitty? It's grandma calling me by my birth name, it's my friends lumping me in with "the girls" or stereotyping things I do as "girly" or something "only a woman does" It's getting called Miss or Ma'am at the grocery store...
And the sad realization that it's going to follow me forever because of how i look. If Only I could be brave like the star of the video.
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Post by Avery on May 15, 2018 0:31:16 GMT 8
I didn't realize what I was feeling, when I was all presented the way I wanted to, binder on and guy clothes picked out - why was I still feeling shitty? It's grandma calling me by my birth name, it's my friends lumping me in with "the girls" or stereotyping things I do as "girly" or something "only a woman does" It's getting called Miss or Ma'am at the grocery store... And the sad realization that it's going to follow me forever because of how i look. If Only I could be brave like the star of the video. You are brave, Von, we all are. It's something I am coming to realize, something I am learning from a lot of Trinity's messages. We're all brave because we have come so far (no matter how far, exactly) in rejecting the gender norms and gender roles that the world is trying to shove down our throats. We are brave because we dare to question. We are brave because we dare to transition. We are brave because we dare to exist in a world that damns us.
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