Had A Crappy Day

[bubbleteachild]

(this is going to be super ranty, stupid, and long. I apologize. TW: a certain really horrible word is mentioned that I know a lot of you probably want to never think about) So the first of three events that made me feel like shit (which are also all linked to me being queer, strangely) happened in my 5th period class; when I have to listen to all the macho-bro-football-team guys call everything """gay""". One thing that I would always keep in mind was that at least none of them would use the f slur.
..........
One of them used the f slur! Oh b o y!1!1!!1 So I was a shaking mess during that class period. Then during lunch this one girl, who we'll call Kate (who is raised by super religious parents; keep that in mind) , asked to sit with my two friends and I because she didn't like sitting alone. I agreed, obviously, but didn't know that one of my "friends" (who we'll call Finn) r e a l l y didn't like her. Usually that wouldn't matter, and it didn't for most of lunch, until Finn and I made a joke about being queer and then they asked Kate if she hates gay people; for like n o reason. Kate, raised by super Christian parents who had to be refreshed on what "gay" means before answering, answered "well yea." Finn fuckin flips out at Kate and makes her move down a few seats so that she was farther away from the group. .....Hopefully I'm not the only one who sees a problem with that. Like she just wanted people to hang out with for *40 minutes*, and that happened. And finally, I was gonna call a friend because I felt like shit, only for a different friend to pick up (bc they were hanging out) and immediately say "attack helicopter speaking!" as a joke. (Yes I realize how petty this one is but dammit I don't want to be reminded of those awful jokes) Hopefully tomorrow'll be better.

[Trinity]

Uggh.

Hang in there.

[Ativan Prescribed]

Oct 13, 2017 10:27:21 GMT 8 bubbleteachild said:

listen to all the macho-bro-football-team guys call everything """gay""". One thing that I would always keep in mind was that at least none of them would use the f slur.
..........
One of them used the f slur! 

They have no idea just how stupid they sound when they declare things as gay, when they couldn't possibly be, they aren't people, but things.
That car is gay... What? I hear stuff like that from younger people, usually guys who are trying their best to be macho and all manly and not being any good at it.
Just like the girl wasn't sure what it meant, likely because she hears that everything these guys talk about is gay.
Finn shouldn't have done that, she gave an honest answer, didn't make any accusations towards anyone there, she is entitled to her upbringing, however bad it is.
If she didn't really know, then she really didn't have an answer, but based on the ongoing jock conversations that everything is gay that they don't like, she has learned from her social surroundings that gay is a negative, and she might have just gave that answer to fit in, give her a break, let her know there are gay people all around her and she doesn't have a clue, instead of banishing her to a few seats away, that is no better behavior than the jocks labeling everything gay, even went it can't be.
She might be the kind of Christian who believes that no matter who you are, you count in this world as much as the next person does, except maybe jocks...
Give her a chance and don't let the jock mentality get to you, they are insecure as hell about most everything, and despite using gay for everything, some of them might be very far into the back of their closet, they do like to slap ass a lot, wear those tight pants and huddle, which is their version of cuddle.
Ignore the stupidity and ignorance of those around you and you will be better able to see the people who deserve to be seen.

[Von]

Yep, that's the making of a bad day. School doesn't make the safest or most inclusive environment, especially when a lot of kids are still metaphorically sucking at their parents' teat when it comes to social and political opinions - they haven't learned to think for themselves, so they hive mentality, and swarm around whoever they see as vulnerable. Yeah. I had bullies, and I wasn't even aware I was queer back then.

But I see a pause moment where Ativan does - Finn could have smiled, and asked, "What makes you think that?" Make it a learning point. This new kid sounds pretty sheltered if they had to ask what gay even meant in the first place, then to automatically label it as bad. There could be follow-up questions, like "Have you even met a gay person? How would you even be able to tell? What if you found out one of your cousins was gay? Your best friend? Would they be bad?"
Yelling and sending them away is a sure-fire way to send the wrong message.

But oh my stars, 'attack helicopter'ing is what really gets my goat. I'm not sure from the context who said that, new kid, or your friend, but aaaaaaa

[bubbleteachild]

Oct 13, 2017 23:48:16 GMT 8 Von said:

But oh my stars, 'attack helicopter'ing is what really gets my goat. I'm not sure from the context who said that, new kid, or your friend, but aaaaaaa

That was a close friend of mine who was making it like a joke at her own expense (calling herself that), possibly forgetting that she has a genderfluid best friend who doesn't like being reminded of people who use that with like actual malicious intent. I've tried to think of it as like a joke towards some of the really™ crazy people who take the idea of identification too far, such as otherkin people. (I'm sorry if this upsets anyone, but I just don't feel that things like "hallowgender" are normal branches of nonbinary) I got a bit off topic there. In short, that sucked but it wasn't being used with any bad intent so I don't even know why I mentioned it.

[Von]

Ah, I see!  Context is everything.  Don't think I'm cross with you.  It'd be downright awful to pick at you when you've had a crap day.  Nothing but love from me, always.  <3
I just find the term extra maddening, because of an instance someone 'helicopter'd' me in public, after a lot of misogynistic, transphobic, and homophobic comments, and I finally snapped.
Don't know if I've told that story or not.  Some day!  It just begged some explanation, so forgive my odd comment.