How do I not care? Or should I care?

[Metamorph]

I want to be identified as male, but I don't pass much of the time. And I am afraid I will never pass since I am small, have big stupid hips and don't feel the need to be super masculine. For quite some time it didn't bother me if I got "she" "her" but now it does. I know my friends and coworkers are trying and it doesn't bother me (much) when they get it wrong. They are trying and that's what matters to me. I don't correct them because they tend to correct themselves are another coworker/friend will correct them.

But being consistently identified as female out in public is really getting to me. I don't correct people, because what's the point? Except in my small town maybe I should start correcting people since I see them over and over again. I wish I could get back to not caring. 

Any thoughts? Advice?

[Deleted]

Nov 25, 2014 2:34:20 GMT 8 Metamorph said:

I want to be identified as male, but I don't pass much of the time. And I am afraid I will never pass since I am small, have big stupid hips and don't feel the need to be super masculine. For quite some time it didn't bother me if I got "she" "her" but now it does. I know my friends and coworkers are trying and it doesn't bother me (much) when they get it wrong. They are trying and that's what matters to me. I don't correct them because they tend to correct themselves are another coworker/friend will correct them.

But being consistently identified as female out in public is really getting to me. I don't correct people, because what's the point? Except in my small town maybe I should start correcting people since I see them over and over again. I wish I could get back to not caring. 

Any thoughts? Advice?

We spent a day together and had a nice lunch out and  I didn't think that you have big hips or anything overly female in your presentation or physical movements, so let me suggest that this is more than likely you're perception of self rather than the perception of others. Meanwhile people will misgender at work and especially in a small town as it's matter more of habit rather than willful stubbornness.

[Deleted]

Hmmmm I really don't have much in the way of hips although it seems like my caboose is getting a bit out of control and is much more than what is practically necessary. I've been wearing men's skinny or slim cut jeans but it's getting harder to stuff all that bottom in as the back side of men's jeans don't leave a lot of room for buttage. I may have to shop in the female jeans department eventually but I'm hoping my upcoming trips to the YMCA will help. In a way I hate this time of year as the weather doesn't allow for a lot of outside activity and the holliday yummies are forever a tempting presence.

[Metamorph]

Julie- take all my bits, please!

Auntie Shan is at least partly right. I haven't been gendered here much by strangers but it's been "he/him" when it's happened. So, I think it's a small town factor in part.

[Deleted]

Small town. I fled.

Hard to misgender genderqueer, but I envy those with a bone structure unachievable to me.

You must be really strong.