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Post by Annys on Dec 27, 2016 10:27:22 GMT 8
Title.
This is all I want to say, no caveats or conditions.
Save perhaps I wish I knew you more.
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guest@proboards.com
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Post by Deleted on Dec 28, 2016 19:15:17 GMT 8
I know the sentiment is good, and it's nice to hear, but the feeling of being alone just can't be remedied that easily when, in all this universal non-aloneness, there is still no one by your side. I do feel comforted that there are other people in the world who share similar circumstances, and that I can reach out to them online, but at the end of the day I'm still quite literally alone. I guess it's harder for people with BPD to rise above that feeling, because we constantly worry that others aren't as genuine and caring as they claim to be. Then, because of that paranoia, we react emotionally which just makes the matter worse. The best temporary remedy I know is to just keep myself distracted.
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Post by Annys on Dec 29, 2016 10:23:29 GMT 8
I cannot reach out and touch you. That is true. You are not beside me! It's so very rare that anybody even is.
As I sit here in self-destruction, I know I am not the only one. Perhaps at this very moment! Perhaps not. The timing doesn't even matter, because I am less unique than I am different.
I am not alone.
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Laura J
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Post by Laura J on Jan 1, 2017 9:46:27 GMT 8
I know what seems to be meant by the words, that we are not alone in the sense that others share similar pain and struggles, and at times that is something of a relief to know..
But it doesnt take away the lonely tears and knife like pain of being physically alone in the middle of the night, or other times when simply a warm hand to hold, or an embrace would be like a true miracle..
I feel a lot in common with Illuminess whom ive known on here a long time, and care about alot.. i identify most with her reply above..
For me, im totally alone in this world.. i have a strong faith in God, am married, etc. yet find myself physiically alone because of an illness that keeps me from working, and such a lack of social skills from always being withdrawn and deffensive, that even though ive come out and feel so much more free and at ease, i still dont know how to rise above an empty room, an empty house, or feeling alone in the midst of a crowd..?
Does anyone feel sometimes that loneliness in the most comfortable place, even though it hurts to be there...?
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timelessexplorer
New Member
Older but not close to dead
Posts: 22
Gender: Non-Binary
Presentation: A male decorated with fluid gender bobbles
Pronouns: He/His/Him
Orientation: Pansexual
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timelessexplorer
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Post by timelessexplorer on May 9, 2018 11:30:31 GMT 8
One can experience loneliness without others, or while surrounded by people. Feeling different is loneliness all its own. No one can understand my emotions and confusion, and often few can understand why I feel so different.
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Post by Trinity on May 9, 2018 11:39:43 GMT 8
And the counter to that is a feeling of belonging.
It was only when I came out as trans that I had that sense of belonging. I still have some of the alone in the crowd thing, but ever since I met the people here, and people in the world face to face that are trans, that I felt like I really belonged.
In the nonbinary world, there is a sense of being the only one. But more and more I am meeting nonbinary transwomen, full transition, just like me.
Its like there has finally been that segment of us that no longer want to insist that we are the women trapped in mens bodies, instead, we have the reality that we are transwomen, people who need thier bodies to be real.
And of course the mirror image is also true of transmen.
And, the sentiment expressed originally by Annys, is exact. Because they are offering their support, and that is the point.
Living trans has always been a lonely path. Its a path only we can take.
But there are others walking beside us.
I understand different.
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timelessexplorer
New Member
Older but not close to dead
Posts: 22
Gender: Non-Binary
Presentation: A male decorated with fluid gender bobbles
Pronouns: He/His/Him
Orientation: Pansexual
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timelessexplorer
Older but not close to dead
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A male decorated with fluid gender bobbles
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Post by timelessexplorer on May 9, 2018 11:41:10 GMT 8
I would enjoy a sense of belonging. I have not felt that in a very long time.
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Post by Trinity on May 9, 2018 11:46:24 GMT 8
I would enjoy a sense of belonging. I have not felt that in a very long time. Stick around...I had a feeling.
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Post by Trinity on May 9, 2018 11:50:55 GMT 8
It can take a while to get used to the forum, some of us have been here for a very long time. We know each other pretty well.
And we can sometimes be a bit protective, until we get to know folks, it takes a while for trust to build.
Most of us are pretty beat up, some have lost everything because of trans, we are survivors, we have been through hell....
But we all know that feeling of being different. Being alone in the crowd.
I have lived with that all my life. Sometimes it lessens, sometimes, it does not. But I found friends here.
Some of the older folks and posts you are conversing with are no longer here, they moved on. Or they check in after months of not checking in. So if you are not getting responses, that may be why.
Just so you understand you are not being ignored.
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Post by EchelonHunt on May 9, 2018 22:14:46 GMT 8
Transman: We're not gender challenged, we're gender gifted. I've been man and I've been woman and I know more than you single sexes could ever imagine. Toby: Dude, I thought you were a real guy. Transman: *leans in with a smile and whispers* We walk among you. -TransamericaWhile we may feel alone in the crowds of the city, we aren't truly alone. There are so many transfolk who are walking similar paths in our journey, there will always be someone out there who will understand you and what you're going through, even if the feelings aren't 100% the same - you will rarely find that one or two people will share the exact same thought/feeling about something as we are all unique and different people. Keep posting, Timeless Explorer Feel free to spin your own threads to kickstart discussion, say anything that comes to mind, there aren't any rules here, just the golden rule, "treat others the way you'd like to be treated"
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Post by Von on May 10, 2018 22:29:09 GMT 8
It's hard *not* to feel alone, especially IRL. Nobody knows or gets it, and even after coming out there's still a sizable percentage of friends and family who still don't understand what my being NB means. I haven't discussed my plans for surgery with anyone beyond my doctors and boyfriend yet, because I'm afraid of being ridiculed or questioned on "why I'd want to do that". Hell, haven't said a word to my father. My parents were always very self-congratulatory when it came to my body - "How can you hate x about yourself? I helped grow that!" You did, but it's not right for me.
I don't know a single other NB person, I know one transwoman, and a transguy I don't get to see very often due to distance and no driving skills. There's a group forming in my town for LGBTQIA folks, but I haven't been able to participate in a single event yet because I'm always busy on the days they gather, or my only friend in the group isn't going so i don't have a ride. Far be it for my boyfriend to help me out on that, gotta keep his cishet-ness well removed from everything that isn't me.
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Post by Becky on May 11, 2018 3:09:32 GMT 8
It's hard *not* to feel alone, especially IRL. Nobody knows or gets it, and even after coming out there's still a sizable percentage of friends and family who still don't understand what my being NB means. I haven't discussed my plans for surgery with anyone beyond my doctors and boyfriend yet, because I'm afraid of being ridiculed or questioned on "why I'd want to do that". Hell, haven't said a word to my father. My parents were always very self-congratulatory when it came to my body - "How can you hate x about yourself? I helped grow that!" You did, but it's not right for me. I don't know a single other NB person, I know one transwoman, and a transguy I don't get to see very often due to distance and no driving skills. There's a group forming in my town for LGBTQIA folks, but I haven't been able to participate in a single event yet because I'm always busy on the days they gather, or my only friend in the group isn't going so i don't have a ride. Far be it for my boyfriend to help me out on that, gotta keep his cishet-ness well removed from everything that isn't me. I'm so old, I had to look up what "IRL" stands for. It's so true, though - it's lonely where we are. We would all have the most fun gathering together and chatting and being our true selves, as we do here. But the truth is that there's one of us in Sweden, one in Australia, one in Canada, one in Florida, etc. I literally cannot speak about being NB face to face with anyone, and I want to do that so badly. The personal cost is just too high right now. We just have to hold on each day, and try our best to let this verbal outlet and these virtual hugs tide us over.
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Post by Von on May 11, 2018 22:47:51 GMT 8
I'm so old, I had to look up what "IRL" stands for. It's so true, though - it's lonely where we are. We would all have the most fun gathering together and chatting and being our true selves, as we do here. But the truth is that there's one of us in Sweden, one in Australia, one in Canada, one in Florida, etc. I literally cannot speak about being NB face to face with anyone, and I want to do that so badly. The personal cost is just too high right now. We just have to hold on each day, and try our best to let this verbal outlet and these virtual hugs tide us over. Ha ha... All these newfangled terms young people use! To be fair that one's been around since I was in my tweens on the internet... So a good 15 years or more? Gosh, now I feel old! It's a shame we're all so spread out. A forum party would be interesting. Even though I'd hermit in the corner, as I do in any party. There is NOT a lot of representation, or at least visible recognition in my part of Vermont. It's a bit more liberal and open up by Burlington, but that's quite a trek from here, even though the state is teeny.
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Post by Becky on May 11, 2018 23:46:32 GMT 8
I'm so old, I had to look up what "IRL" stands for. It's so true, though - it's lonely where we are. We would all have the most fun gathering together and chatting and being our true selves, as we do here. But the truth is that there's one of us in Sweden, one in Australia, one in Canada, one in Florida, etc. I literally cannot speak about being NB face to face with anyone, and I want to do that so badly. The personal cost is just too high right now. We just have to hold on each day, and try our best to let this verbal outlet and these virtual hugs tide us over. Ha ha... All these newfangled terms young people use! To be fair that one's been around since I was in my tweens on the internet... So a good 15 years or more? Gosh, now I feel old! It's a shame we're all so spread out. A forum party would be interesting. Even though I'd hermit in the corner, as I do in any party. There is NOT a lot of representation, or at least visible recognition in my part of Vermont. It's a bit more liberal and open up by Burlington, but that's quite a trek from here, even though the state is teeny. LOL, I think we need to make IRL stand for "I'm Really Lonely." I'm in such a red state, that I've had this fantasy idea about Vermont. I have to remember that there are a lot of "Ol' Country Boys" up there the same as down here in Kentucky. There are so few judgement-free zones anywhere. Perhaps this will gradually change before I'm too old to wear a dress. If and when I come out, I'll work on a Genderqueer Forum Conference in Provincetown, Massachusetts. We could all totally own the place for a weekend!
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Faithfully Married.
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Post by Trinity on May 12, 2018 6:32:33 GMT 8
TE you went quiet. You ok?
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