How hard was it for you?

[Annys]

To speak for the first time. Out loud.

To tell the world, and especially the people within it, I am not what you think I am.

[Trinity]

It was very hard. And I did it twice, once in AA 30 years ago, and the second time when I realized I couldn't beat it, and started transitioning 3 and a half years ago.

In AA, it was a safe and supportive place, and I went in there dressed, and said that was why I drink. They said it was not why I drink, I drink because I am an alcoholic, and then they said that it was very brave of me, that they didn't care about that, and that I should get a better wig....

But in the big crash, I called my best friend, and told him. I was in the car in a parking lot, utterly broken from dysphoria, and I took a one shot call. If he rejected me, I was not sure what I was going to do to myself. But I had to tell someone, and he was the one closest to me, he had been my prayer partner for 15 years.

It was extremely hard. He said he would support me though. That lasted about 6 months, and then he saw a picture of me on facebook, and that was pretty much the end.

Telling my wife was total hell.

I am not out to my family, only my father and my kids. I won't trust my family with it, and my 87 year old mother, well, why put her through that.

But each time, it got easier. Its easier with people I don't know. And I don't care what they think anymore, what they think has no bearing on me. Its totally irrelevent, the only reason I am not fully out to everyone is that my wife desires me to be stealth.

Its not something to be ashamed of. But it does change the relationships that were existing, for me. I have new, better relationships now.

There is no good way to do it. I have done it by visually transitioning in subtle ways. If they ask whats up, I'll tell them.

Or just say yup. Like when my coworker said I was wearing a womens engagement ring.

I said "Yup. I like it."

End of conversation.