Post by ThePhoenix on Mar 10, 2015 11:48:12 GMT 8
So I've pretty much given up on talking about my issues because I am just resigned to them and to the fact that nothing changes no matter how much I talk about it. But I'd like to break with that for a moment to share one of the things that hurts me.
During my transitional days, it used to hurt horribly inside not to tell other people certain things about myself. They knew I was trans*. But I still had to be careful with people. For example, I could not tell them about the time I pranked an IHOP on Halloween by showing up in guy mode after work and asking them, "what do you think of my Halloween costume? Would you believe I was a guy?" and had a transguy friend show up in girl mode and ask them, "what do you think of my Halloween costume? Would you believe I was a girl?"
Now I find myself in that space of regretting the things I can't tell people again. I'm a lawyer. Law is an industry that is basically in collapse and it is exceedingly transphobic to boot. So if I put my trans* community activism on my resume, it is basically a guaranteed way to avoid getting most jobs. But the D.C. Office of Human Rights likes me and some of their folks are trying to get me hired into their office somehow. They asked me to put together a version of my resume that lists basically everything I've done on trans* issues. I can't talk about that stuff. So I spent a few days racking my brain and trying to come up with everything I could think of. It basically doubled the length of my resume. It covers three organizations I've been involved with. And I don't usually like to give people my resume because people get bent out of shape and call me a braggart when I just talk about my daily life, but here are a few of the things on it:
I have ten presentations and publications to my name within the last two years.
I was consulted on the first global communique to address reporting transgender issues on
I gave the legal opinion that led to D.C. including transition related care in its health plans for D.C. government employees.
I was one of the top level leaders both in the field and in the legislative lobbying of the Maryland Coalition for Trans Equality, which pushed the Fairness for All Marylanders Act through the legislature (Maryland's ban on gender identity discrimination).
I am a trainer and advisor on trans* issues to local civil rights enforcement agencies in two jurisdictions.
It goes on and on and on for about a page and a half. It includes no awards. I've been offered some, but I've declined them all. See above regarding the things you cannot talk about. Accepting awards would just be another way of bringing attention on myself that would further damage my chances at getting hired. And even at that length, I am still not covering all the bullet points. I realized today, for example, that I needed to include briefing foreign delegations from Latin America on the state of transgender rights in the U.S.
I really want to be able to say to people that I did some good for others and that I still am doing so. But unfortunately, doing good in this case means doing things that I can't talk about. I am back to not being able to say things. Like not being able to mention my Halloween prank.
Can anyone relate to the notion of things they can't share and wish they could?
During my transitional days, it used to hurt horribly inside not to tell other people certain things about myself. They knew I was trans*. But I still had to be careful with people. For example, I could not tell them about the time I pranked an IHOP on Halloween by showing up in guy mode after work and asking them, "what do you think of my Halloween costume? Would you believe I was a guy?" and had a transguy friend show up in girl mode and ask them, "what do you think of my Halloween costume? Would you believe I was a girl?"
Now I find myself in that space of regretting the things I can't tell people again. I'm a lawyer. Law is an industry that is basically in collapse and it is exceedingly transphobic to boot. So if I put my trans* community activism on my resume, it is basically a guaranteed way to avoid getting most jobs. But the D.C. Office of Human Rights likes me and some of their folks are trying to get me hired into their office somehow. They asked me to put together a version of my resume that lists basically everything I've done on trans* issues. I can't talk about that stuff. So I spent a few days racking my brain and trying to come up with everything I could think of. It basically doubled the length of my resume. It covers three organizations I've been involved with. And I don't usually like to give people my resume because people get bent out of shape and call me a braggart when I just talk about my daily life, but here are a few of the things on it:
I have ten presentations and publications to my name within the last two years.
I was consulted on the first global communique to address reporting transgender issues on
I gave the legal opinion that led to D.C. including transition related care in its health plans for D.C. government employees.
I was one of the top level leaders both in the field and in the legislative lobbying of the Maryland Coalition for Trans Equality, which pushed the Fairness for All Marylanders Act through the legislature (Maryland's ban on gender identity discrimination).
I am a trainer and advisor on trans* issues to local civil rights enforcement agencies in two jurisdictions.
It goes on and on and on for about a page and a half. It includes no awards. I've been offered some, but I've declined them all. See above regarding the things you cannot talk about. Accepting awards would just be another way of bringing attention on myself that would further damage my chances at getting hired. And even at that length, I am still not covering all the bullet points. I realized today, for example, that I needed to include briefing foreign delegations from Latin America on the state of transgender rights in the U.S.
I really want to be able to say to people that I did some good for others and that I still am doing so. But unfortunately, doing good in this case means doing things that I can't talk about. I am back to not being able to say things. Like not being able to mention my Halloween prank.
Can anyone relate to the notion of things they can't share and wish they could?
Patty
