Post by Ativan Prescribed on Jul 8, 2016 7:10:40 GMT 8
6. No one gives a shit about how difficult it is to change your language.
1. Ask new friends what their pronouns are.
Though problematic as it is, I often catch myself assuming people’s pronouns based on their presentation, depending on if they look “queer” or not.
But here’s the thing: Queer looks like A LOT of things.
There’s absolutely no way to tell what someone’s sexuality or gender identity is simply by looking at them.
Also, there are way more gender-neutral pronouns to choose from than just they/them. So, the best thing to do is ask.
I’ve heard from many of my cis friends that they feel awkward asking, and that this question could be interpreted as invasive.
But, there’s nothing invasive about asking a person how they want to be addressed.
Nine times out of ten, especially if they’re queer or genderqueer, they’ll feel super grateful you asked rather than just assigned them a pronoun and misgendered them repeatedly.
As long as you’re not asking them to tell you exactly what gender they identify as, or outright asking what’s in their pants (please don’t do this), it’s better to be safe than sorry.
1. Ask new friends what their pronouns are.
Though problematic as it is, I often catch myself assuming people’s pronouns based on their presentation, depending on if they look “queer” or not.
But here’s the thing: Queer looks like A LOT of things.
There’s absolutely no way to tell what someone’s sexuality or gender identity is simply by looking at them.
Also, there are way more gender-neutral pronouns to choose from than just they/them. So, the best thing to do is ask.
I’ve heard from many of my cis friends that they feel awkward asking, and that this question could be interpreted as invasive.
But, there’s nothing invasive about asking a person how they want to be addressed.
Nine times out of ten, especially if they’re queer or genderqueer, they’ll feel super grateful you asked rather than just assigned them a pronoun and misgendered them repeatedly.
As long as you’re not asking them to tell you exactly what gender they identify as, or outright asking what’s in their pants (please don’t do this), it’s better to be safe than sorry.