The problem of control

[Deleted]

Greetings dear ones

What do you control?  Try to control?  Cannot control?

I am betting since we are transgender we try to control a lot.

Do you try to control conversations?

Children, family, spouses?

Your dysphoria?

Your transition?

Progression, if it exists for you?

Do you try to control what component of gender is controlling you at the moment?

Do you try to control anger, fear, resentments?  Other peoples love for you?  Your own self esteem?

Do you try to control the things around you?

Did you try to control being transgender at all?

What do you try to control my dears, why do we control, or do you just go with the moment, and be?

I actually have the nerve to try to control everything, actually control nothing, and drive myself nuts with it as a result.

You believe that?   I don't.  Because all of us are empowered to influence others lives.  Not control them, influence them, for many things. 

Maybe even the good of all trans.

I actually tried to control the matrix just before my final exit.  It didn't work, but my final post, the one they could not handle, the one they chose to delete, was designed to influence for good, speaking truth, just asking questions.  And it might have done just that.

I like to ask questions.  I was influenced by Ativan so now I ask lots of questions.

It is a way to control the conversation.   HAH!

What are you trying to control, would you like to stop, is it helping you?  Or is it resulting in something unpleasant.

To coin something from my AA training..... God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

The problem of control.  Is it a trans issue, a human issue, or some other issue?  Ego driven, fear driven, love driven?

In the words of the real matrix, that should really cook your noodle...

Blessings

Trinity Satin Joy

[Laura J]

I don't think I as much try to control things, as just subtly steer things into the direction I would like them to go. 

I've found that when I try and control things, it's a pressure within, and it makes me feel stressed.. 
I embrace and love those times when things are happening out of my control around me, and I just open up, and let all the energy flow through me, without me trying to alter the sittuation.. 

Yes, I do control the trans inside me, or the gender changes I feel now, that I never felt before. It's like I still feel strongly that there is a time and place for everything, and I try and make myself fit different places, people etc. .. It's different than trying to control the situation, it's more self control, and doesn't seem to interfere with being positive, it's more about being mature, and having control over my own body.. 

I never control conversations in real life, I'm more of a listener, not a talker.. I'm quite socially inept, and an introvert on top of that.. Yikes.. 

What do I try and control.? 

The car maintenance, the rent being paid on time, food in the refrigerator, make sure my meds are all called in and paid. 

I'm also a control nut when it comes to going out somewhere nice, for a day at least, I get ready, get the clothes out I want to wear, and go over in my head all the things that I am able to plan for, or control.. 

To not be in control of things outside my planning doesn't bother me that much.? Like if there is a car wreck on the way to the store, I don't get bothered by the twisted cars and sirens, but go kinda nuts if I forgot my right belt for certain pants, or have dog hair on my shirt, which is almost always.. haha.. 

This is so complicated given so many situations to consider.? 

I wish I had some sort of mechanism for dealing with things better sometimes.? Like you SJ, when you say you ask a ton of questions.. And BTW, since I'm very quiet, and you like to talk, we'll have a great lunch together one of these days.. Lol...  

[Deleted]

Trinity. I may not be the best one to answer this. But I try not to control anything. Spontaneity is pretty much the way I live. Dysphoria when it hits, I can't control it. I just deal with it the best I can and then it goes and I'm back to myself. Conversations? I really like to see where they go naturally. I'm kind of weird because psychologically I am more female than male. Maybe even totally female. Physically I have some female characteristics. I let the female psychology have her way. How people perceive me is one thing I can't control either.

 "Do you try to control anger, fear, resentments? Other peoples love for you? Your own self esteem?

Do you try to control the things around you?

Did you try to control being transgender at all?

What do you try to control my dears, why do we control, or do you just go with the moment, and be?

I actually have the nerve to try to control everything, actually control nothing, and drive myself nuts with it as a result."

Trinity. That last sentence is truth. Trying to control everything will make you go insane. I can't control anything or anyone around me. It and they are on their own. No way I can control being transgender. That is who I am. Maybe one of the biggest parts of who I am. But no I don't even try to control that. If I did I would look like an average guy with short hair, maybe long hair , Unruly eyebrows, hairy legs and underarms. I don't control it and it don't control me but I love the feminine parts more so than the male. So I'm MTF nonbinary. I love female fashion, beauty regimes and everything and just give into it.

Like I said I am one that goes with the moment. No plans just whatever. The only thing I can control is whether I am a good person or bad person.