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Post by Edge on Mar 14, 2015 12:50:34 GMT 8
All people are like that. All friends of the past, present, and future. I've gotten out several times. Well, most often pushed out, but the result was the same. I've restarted with new people over and over again and all of them are the same. Each time, I've heard the same thing: "You need to get better friends." There are no better friends. I've heard "you must looking in the wrong places" many times too by people who can't give me an answer to where these supposed "good places" are that I haven't already tried. I've heard "not with that attitude" a lot too. As if I hadn't thought of that at any point in the last couple decades and gave up because a good attitude just makes things worse. I've also heard "I know how you feel. I've lost friends too. Now let me tell you about the one person who had my back." No one has ever had my back but me and, as it turns out, even one person is enough to not be able to relate to or understand my experiences. The only person I can ever rely on is me.
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2015 17:49:23 GMT 8
All people are like that. All friends of the past, present, and future. I've gotten out several times. Well, most often pushed out, but the result was the same. I've restarted with new people over and over again and all of them are the same. Each time, I've heard the same thing: "You need to get better friends." There are no better friends. I've heard "you must looking in the wrong places" many times too by people who can't give me an answer to where these supposed "good places" are that I haven't already tried. I've heard "not with that attitude" a lot too. As if I hadn't thought of that at any point in the last couple decades and gave up because a good attitude just makes things worse. I've also heard "I know how you feel. I've lost friends too. Now let me tell you about the one person who had my back." No one has ever had my back but me and, as it turns out, even one person is enough to not be able to relate to or understand my experiences. The only person I can ever rely on is me. Friends with me...not until I transitioned. How permanent? Remains to be seen, the ones on forum I suspect are life long. In my culture blending Indian to American, we don't usually have friends outside the family. My wife complains about her inability to have one. It's like marriage. It happens when it does. And I grew up the same way, left out, until I got out of college. But I have Aa friends and forum friends. I am blessed by that. My Christian friends drifted away after transition, but we remain prayer partners. Friends with yourself is important...
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Post by LivingTheDream on Mar 15, 2015 12:45:07 GMT 8
Well, to be fair, I prolly brought on some of it myself. Like, used to get invited out quite a bit but I had a shitty job, still do, the same one in fact, don't wanna spend money you know. Friends had better ones so had more money can spend. So, turned them down mostly. Or, most often, would ask to go to a bar, but I don't really like that anymore. I did that when I was 21, lasted like 3 months of going out almost every night to a bar, then I got popped x.x. Now is not worth it, not enjoyable, can't drink and drive, not gonna have that bs happen again. Besides, why pay like $3 for a beer when can get em for ~$1 each and be safe at home. Doesn't really help with meeting people that way tho but don't get in trouble either. And, I am really quiet and uncomfortable when around big groups of people, even if I know some or most or all or none, much better for me in smaller groups..
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2015 23:54:14 GMT 8
Well, to be fair, I prolly brought on some of it myself. Like, used to get invited out quite a bit but I had a shitty job, still do, the same one in fact, don't wanna spend money you know. Friends had better ones so had more money can spend. So, turned them down mostly. Or, most often, would ask to go to a bar, but I don't really like that anymore. I did that when I was 21, lasted like 3 months of going out almost every night to a bar, then I got popped x.x. Now is not worth it, not enjoyable, can't drink and drive, not gonna have that bs happen again. Besides, why pay like $3 for a beer when can get em for ~$1 each and be safe at home. Doesn't really help with meeting people that way tho but don't get in trouble either. And, I am really quiet and uncomfortable when around big groups of people, even if I know some or most or all or none, much better for me in smaller groups.. I'm pretty much of a loner myself. I suppose I could have a lot of "friends" if I actively cultivated them, but my attitude about friends is really that less is more. I'm talking in terms of quality and shared interests as well as likes and dislikes which is really pretty limiting and narrows down the field rather dramatically. I like having my own space and there is a certain zone around me where my very few real friends know enough not to step inside unless I make it clear that it's OK. I've known a lot of people who have seemed to want my friendship but for me, if the chemistry isn't right between us then it just isn't ever going to happen. So most of those who refer to me as their friend are really acquaintances as far as I'm concerned. I suppose my attitude has a lot to do with not allowing myself to be emotionally vulnerable and allowing their shit to overflow into my life. This forum allows me to enjoy a pseudo relationship with folks I like and not find their personal lives overwhelming me 24/7, we are all associates other than one who is special to me here.
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Post by LivingTheDream on Mar 16, 2015 12:36:11 GMT 8
Well, I do get tired of people after a bit. After like a few hours, I find myself kinda itching to get away...Probably not really being out and comfortable with others is the reason tho
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