How does social pressure affect your gender perception?

[Trinity]

Aisla raised an observation that's tough to answer in another thread, non public. Its worth talking of here.

Social pressure dictated my gender perception for a half century. it is only now that I am understanding the truth of who I am at core, I have a vision now of who I am, and it is not the same as any traditional trans narrative either nonbinary or binary, its something very unique and special. Basically a fully transitioned transsexual or transperson or whatever the heck you want to call a person who does mtf full hormones, who runs the matrix at will based on social comfort, while remaining myself, and fully conscious that my spirit within contains all of gender. I get it now, why did it take three years to figure it out?

But it does affect my self perception. Yet, deep inside the core, I always know the truth of who I am, even when I run from this truth. It never stops, the whispers in the night, in the day.

Its an awareness of who I am and what my core gender has become or was or is. No matter how much social pressure can be put on that, it remains my core gender. But relentless peer pressure can cause all kinds of rationalizing, and misperception of who I am.

How about you, how has it or how is it affecting your own self perception of who you are? We can show them anyone we want, but who we are, that is another thing altogether, isn't it? Or maybe its the same if we are strong enough to be freed socially.  Or to see through it and use our gender revelation in social scenarios so that we protect ourselves, gain an advantage, or just get comfortable within the dynamics of the situation. The latter is my own truth. it may not be yours.

How does social pressure affect your perception of yourself? Not limited to gender either my darlings, it affects everything we are, if we stray from the core.

Love and warmest blessings to all who read this, to the diamond hearts of trans.

Trinity

[EchelonHunt]

When in social situations, it's not pressure that affects my gender perception, it's a natural fluctuation to adapt to my surroundings. I fluctuate to male.

In class, in social outings, in front of strangers, the surgeon and when I see my gender psychiatrist most definitely. Male through and through.

Quiet, logical, to the point - I find myself saying and doing things I normally would never have done pre-HRT.

Like speaking up in class during a class project, suggesting a way for all of us to input data into one computer instead of every person doing it individually at their computer and sending it to one person to put together.

Still blows me away that happened.

When at home, with friends, with my non-binary specialised therapist, I stay me. Still male, just more expressive, more child-like, who I am at heart.

Social presentation is another story. I present as male almost all the time. I can only dress feminine at home or at LGBT events, mainly I cannot dress outwardly feminine all the time in public because I value my safety over personal expression. Maybe one day, I will be able to. Until then, I will preserve.

[Trinity]

"When in social situations, it's not pressure that affects my gender perception, it's a natural fluctuation to adapt to my surroundings. I fluctuate to male."

Uh huh. Yup.

Change that to work situations or when threatened, and I do exactly the same thing... to the male side. Yet I am very much aware that my gender is not male - but... but...

This is getting really interesting. The binary label types are falling apart on me now as I think about it.

Huh.

[Trinity]

Are we defining social gender as a sense of "belonging" with the cis gender people, identifying as being a part of them? Or as an energy and sense of self?

If so.... I never feel like I belong to either, ever.

[EchelonHunt]

I don't think I will ever feel a sense of "belonging" with cisgender folks, nor would I identify as being a part of them. Many cisgender folks I know follow the rigid rules of the binary, perpetuate it, keeping the cage bars polished clean for the next victim to fall into it.

The ones that don't, the ones who encourage others to be themselves, regardless of sex stereotypes or rules. I belong with them, whether they are cis, trans or non-binary. This includes my cisgender friends, most whom are female and I have known them since high-school.

For social situations, social presentation and legal purposes,... not to mention, sexuality and body-wise, I instinctually feel male and become aware of it. I don't know if I would ever go "stealth" entirely in the future, of course, people like work employers, strangers and that, don't need to know I'm transgender, only my family, close friends and any partners I have.

My physical transition will be complete in the future, it would be closing that chapter of my life, where being trans doesn't take up the spotlight in my life, where I can be free to put my productive energy into other things I want to do with my life. Don't get me wrong, I still am doing the things I enjoy now, it just doesn't help that dysphoria gets in the way and there is a emotional and sexual disconnect between my body and mind.

[Trinity]

That sense of belonging, I don't feel that around most cis people. Some, yes. And they are usually women, who accept me as Trinity.  But im just happy around them im not their gender.

Interesting stuff.

I hope you remain an activist... a difference maker. You've made one heck of an impact with this forum dear one.

Trinity

[Deleted]

The only thing that I can say is that if you let society dictate who you are then you are damned to be what they label you. If you go against society then you are free to be who you are. It isn't without negative consequences from society though. But in the end, you will be more familiar with yourself on a level that most people can't even begin to understand.

At the risk of sounding so cliché, It isn't us. It's them.

Actually the older I get the less I care about how society perceives me. Never really gave a damn anyway. Social pressure does not affect my gender perception. Nature does. I am drawn to women as a social equal than men. It seems deeper than having a penis or vagina. It is more of an understanding and kinship with one another. Women talk to me like another woman. Men either seem agitated or attracted in a way I don't even think they understand.  Maybe not attracted so much as treat me more female than they would another 100% male.

I am very observant of human behavior. It interests me immensely. In a physical job like driving a truck and pulling a flat bed with tarps and all, I noticed that more drivers would offer to help me tarp or untarp more than they would another male driver. Some even borderline flirting.  Whether it was conscious or subconscious due to pheromones or whether being Bi or Gay? I don't really know. A lot of drivers are LGBT because the companies don't care as long as the Freight gets delivered. But that is one job that don't care who or what you are. You won't hear a bunch of BS as long as the freight gets delivered and intact. Hell I walked into a dispatch office one time with coral nail polish and big hair with yesterday's makeup still on because I hit the bar the night before while laid over and didn't really give a damn and no one said nothing negative. Other than you may need some more sleep and a dispatcher (woman but maybe butch) asked for my room number and I spent the next night with her. Yeah she was more Trans than butch with hairy legs and armpits as well. We fit pretty good though.  But she let society define her even with shorter hair. She wouldn't wear skirts but still women's clothes. Just not sleeveless tops. I tried.  But you can only do so much. She was one fine ass man though in private. But he let society define who she is. She hid her true identity and true fashion preferences. Screw it. Life is too short to worry about what others think about you.

[Trinity]

I got chewed out yesterday for going into work with extra bangles on my left hand. I dont think the boss cares, and around him i get very sh'e. Hes a stud to begin with and my estrogen packed self responds instinctively.

Even if i dont care, others who are affected by me being trans are.

I already lost one job over it. As is constantly brought up. My fault for transitioning publically at work...yes? No?

There are prices to pay. Question is, do we pay it? Play it? Or what?

I choose to play it. I need the money we got emptied by the florida pay cuts.

That means fear is a motivator...which sucks.

Trinity

[Deleted]

Socially I am 100% male. Or at least I think I present that way. I suspect others think I am metrosexual.

[Deleted]

Jan 18, 2016 7:40:27 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I got chewed out yesterday for going into work with extra bangles on my left hand. I dont think the boss cares, and around him i get very sh'e. Hes a stud to begin with and my estrogen packed self responds instinctively.

Even if i dont care, others who are affected by me being trans are.

I already lost one job over it. As is constantly brought up. My fault for transitioning publically at work...yes? No?

There are prices to pay. Question is, do we pay it? Play it? Or what?

I choose to play it. I need the money we got emptied by the florida pay cuts.

That means fear is a motivator...which sucks.

Trinity

First trinity and it really sux and one of the prices to pay that I talked about but live and let live. I am sure there are things that bother you about other people. WHat the hell makes them so special that they get cuddled for being transphobic, narrow minded and ignorant? Are they not homophobic? I bet some or most are but keep their mouth shut because of political correctness. But hey, if you have the guts to be phobic about one group and have to speak out about your discomfort then have the guts to be openly phobic against others. But political correctness ( I hate that fucking word and the whole ideal behind it) is running amok with "special little groups" that get protected and others are open game. My whole belief is live and let live. There are people that I don't like just because. But I let them be and live their own lifestyle. I don't agree with 'Swingers' and their lifestyle and choices but hey, none of my business because it is their lives and not mine. As long as it is consenting adults. Hurt a child then my "Mama Bear instinct" will kick in. But I choose my life and the way I live. That is my choice. I never judge whether or not I agree with anyone else's or not. As long as there are no children being hurt and everything consensual. I bet if you investigated or hired a PI that those same people that are affected by you being trans have some pretty dark secrets.

Pay the price and play the game. Never ever discount what you do. Use your talents to your own advantage. That is why I drove a truck and owned trucks all my life. I was good at it and still am and own the trucks and am the boss now. I can be dressed in a little cute pink teddy in fuzzy slippers and talk to my drivers on the phone. I can talk to the people that I lease on with buck ass naked just out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my head and tell them exactly what I need them to do or vice versa. so yeah there are prices to pay but why not reap some rewards for yourself and find a way to make your talents work for you? Consulting is a pretty big deal. I even do some safety consulting because I know about the physical aspects of the job and the safety aspects too. I charge for that also from the one company that I lease my trucks to. I know as much about safety, drug testing, hazmat, permitting and just about anything else to do with trucking than just driving and owning trucks. Call me with a question, then they have to pay $100 per hour with one hour being the minimum. So it really is funny how some college kid or some family member that got a safety position calls me with shit that they have no idea about. Plus I call and will talk to different state police agencies that regulate the trucking industry and the Federal DOT. Hell, these little assholes in safety positions are scared to fight or argue a point. Again if I make phone calls or videos or have to travel to an area as a consultant then I charge accordingly. I don't want to sound conceited but most of the time I am right. Most of the time I surprise a hell of a lot of people because of my looks. That is priceless. But knowledge and being good at what you do is too. But I am a professional in a sort of low capacity. No college needed, just a good attitude and an in an out experience of the job and an understanding of the laws in the big green book that the federal guidelines use. CVSA 2012 really messed me up though because I had to learn all new shit. But I learned it.

Fear is always a motivator. You can always learn to use that fear though. Fear is an emotion that you can either fall into and let it control you or use it to control your own destiny. No one is immune to fear. It sounds like you are pretty brave.

[Deleted]

Jan 18, 2016 23:05:25 GMT 8 @cherie said:

Socially I am 100% male. Or at least I think I present that way. I suspect others think I am metrosexual.

They must be blind Cherie. You look way more female than male, even if you were dressed fully male. Metrosexual? I guess I'm a ruralsexual.  Don't want to live in no big city.

[Trinity]

Jan 19, 2016 4:37:12 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Jan 18, 2016 23:05:25 GMT 8 @cherie said:

Socially I am 100% male. Or at least I think I present that way. I suspect others think I am metrosexual.

They must be blind Cherie. You look way more female than male, even if you were dressed fully male. Metrosexual? I guess I'm a ruralsexual.  Don't want to live in no big city.

She looks absolutely terrific.  And very happy...

[Trinity]

Jan 19, 2016 4:34:16 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Jan 18, 2016 7:40:27 GMT 8 Trinity said:

I got chewed out yesterday for going into work with extra bangles on my left hand. I dont think the boss cares, and around him i get very sh'e. Hes a stud to begin with and my estrogen packed self responds instinctively.

Even if i dont care, others who are affected by me being trans are.

I already lost one job over it. As is constantly brought up. My fault for transitioning publically at work...yes? No?

There are prices to pay. Question is, do we pay it? Play it? Or what?

I choose to play it. I need the money we got emptied by the florida pay cuts.

That means fear is a motivator...which sucks.

Trinity

First trinity and it really sux and one of the prices to pay that I talked about but live and let live. I am sure there are things that bother you about other people. WHat the hell makes them so special that they get cuddled for being transphobic, narrow minded and ignorant? Are they not homophobic? I bet some or most are but keep their mouth shut because of political correctness. But hey, if you have the guts to be phobic about one group and have to speak out about your discomfort then have the guts to be openly phobic against others. But political correctness ( I hate that fucking word and the whole ideal behind it) is running amok with "special little groups" that get protected and others are open game. My whole belief is live and let live. There are people that I don't like just because. But I let them be and live their own lifestyle. I don't agree with 'Swingers' and their lifestyle and choices but hey, none of my business because it is their lives and not mine. As long as it is consenting adults. Hurt a child then my "Mama Bear instinct" will kick in. But I choose my life and the way I live. That is my choice. I never judge whether or not I agree with anyone else's or not. As long as there are no children being hurt and everything consensual. I bet if you investigated or hired a PI that those same people that are affected by you being trans have some pretty dark secrets.

Pay the price and play the game. Never ever discount what you do. Use your talents to your own advantage. That is why I drove a truck and owned trucks all my life. I was good at it and still am and own the trucks and am the boss now. I can be dressed in a little cute pink teddy in fuzzy slippers and talk to my drivers on the phone. I can talk to the people that I lease on with buck ass naked just out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my head and tell them exactly what I need them to do or vice versa. so yeah there are prices to pay but why not reap some rewards for yourself and find a way to make your talents work for you? Consulting is a pretty big deal. I even do some safety consulting because I know about the physical aspects of the job and the safety aspects too. I charge for that also from the one company that I lease my trucks to. I know as much about safety, drug testing, hazmat, permitting and just about anything else to do with trucking than just driving and owning trucks. Call me with a question, then they have to pay $100 per hour with one hour being the minimum. So it really is funny how some college kid or some family member that got a safety position calls me with shit that they have no idea about. Plus I call and will talk to different state police agencies that regulate the trucking industry and the Federal DOT. Hell, these little assholes in safety positions are scared to fight or argue a point. Again if I make phone calls or videos or have to travel to an area as a consultant then I charge accordingly. I don't want to sound conceited but most of the time I am right. Most of the time I surprise a hell of a lot of people because of my looks. That is priceless. But knowledge and being good at what you do is too. But I am a professional in a sort of low capacity. No college needed, just a good attitude and an in an out experience of the job and an understanding of the laws in the big green book that the federal guidelines use. CVSA 2012 really messed me up though because I had to learn all new shit. But I learned it.

Fear is always a motivator. You can always learn to use that fear though. Fear is an emotion that you can either fall into and let it control you or use it to control your own destiny. No one is immune to fear. It sounds like you are pretty brave.

Yup.  Honestly.

I got a really good deal here and if they need me to wear a uniform i am cool with it.  Plus i keep my rings on.  Im not worried about it, pushing these guys is dumb.  Its my ticket to retirement and living any way i like.

Hah...how do i turn on the camera in your pc with you in the teddy?  But fair is fair and you know darn well id give you a run for your money on the hottie side of it.

Im cool no worries, its real easy to play the game and let my hair down later.  What i get a kick out of is when i get home i ditch the jacket, take off the dress shirt, shake my hair out and wham, its a real girl in a cami and jeans with a soft, rich voice.  And thats how i kiss my wife right after.

I got it made.

So i aint screwing this up.

Love ya Jamie girl.

Trinity

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2016 4:37:12 GMT 8 @jamie said:

Jan 18, 2016 23:05:25 GMT 8 @cherie said:

Socially I am 100% male. Or at least I think I present that way. I suspect others think I am metrosexual.

They must be blind Cherie. You look way more female than male, even if you were dressed fully male. Metrosexual? I guess I'm a ruralsexual.  Don't want to live in no big city.

  Seriously - I am mostly bald, and 6 foot 1.  I am lucky in that my facial features are fairly delicate (with the possible exception of my chin).  But I almost never have people think I am gay.  I lecture chemical engineering so I work in a male dominated environment.  Yes - I do live in the city though, I suspect I always will.  (I was in New York last year - I thought it was amazing).  But I do wonder how others perceive us sometimes. 

My plan for this year is to push the androgynous look.  Go a little further into the coloured space between male and female.

[Deleted]

Jan 19, 2016 5:47:18 GMT 8 Trinity said:

Jan 19, 2016 4:34:16 GMT 8 @jamie said:

First trinity and it really sux and one of the prices to pay that I talked about but live and let live. I am sure there are things that bother you about other people. WHat the hell makes them so special that they get cuddled for being transphobic, narrow minded and ignorant? Are they not homophobic? I bet some or most are but keep their mouth shut because of political correctness. But hey, if you have the guts to be phobic about one group and have to speak out about your discomfort then have the guts to be openly phobic against others. But political correctness ( I hate that fucking word and the whole ideal behind it) is running amok with "special little groups" that get protected and others are open game. My whole belief is live and let live. There are people that I don't like just because. But I let them be and live their own lifestyle. I don't agree with 'Swingers' and their lifestyle and choices but hey, none of my business because it is their lives and not mine. As long as it is consenting adults. Hurt a child then my "Mama Bear instinct" will kick in. But I choose my life and the way I live. That is my choice. I never judge whether or not I agree with anyone else's or not. As long as there are no children being hurt and everything consensual. I bet if you investigated or hired a PI that those same people that are affected by you being trans have some pretty dark secrets.

Pay the price and play the game. Never ever discount what you do. Use your talents to your own advantage. That is why I drove a truck and owned trucks all my life. I was good at it and still am and own the trucks and am the boss now. I can be dressed in a little cute pink teddy in fuzzy slippers and talk to my drivers on the phone. I can talk to the people that I lease on with buck ass naked just out of the shower with a towel wrapped around my head and tell them exactly what I need them to do or vice versa. so yeah there are prices to pay but why not reap some rewards for yourself and find a way to make your talents work for you? Consulting is a pretty big deal. I even do some safety consulting because I know about the physical aspects of the job and the safety aspects too. I charge for that also from the one company that I lease my trucks to. I know as much about safety, drug testing, hazmat, permitting and just about anything else to do with trucking than just driving and owning trucks. Call me with a question, then they have to pay $100 per hour with one hour being the minimum. So it really is funny how some college kid or some family member that got a safety position calls me with shit that they have no idea about. Plus I call and will talk to different state police agencies that regulate the trucking industry and the Federal DOT. Hell, these little assholes in safety positions are scared to fight or argue a point. Again if I make phone calls or videos or have to travel to an area as a consultant then I charge accordingly. I don't want to sound conceited but most of the time I am right. Most of the time I surprise a hell of a lot of people because of my looks. That is priceless. But knowledge and being good at what you do is too. But I am a professional in a sort of low capacity. No college needed, just a good attitude and an in an out experience of the job and an understanding of the laws in the big green book that the federal guidelines use. CVSA 2012 really messed me up though because I had to learn all new shit. But I learned it.

Fear is always a motivator. You can always learn to use that fear though. Fear is an emotion that you can either fall into and let it control you or use it to control your own destiny. No one is immune to fear. It sounds like you are pretty brave.

Yup.  Honestly.

I got a really good deal here and if they need me to wear a uniform i am cool with it.  Plus i keep my rings on.  Im not worried about it, pushing these guys is dumb.  Its my ticket to retirement and living any way i like.

Hah...how do i turn on the camera in your pc with you in the teddy?  But fair is fair and you know darn well id give you a run for your money on the hottie side of it.

Im cool no worries, its real easy to play the game and let my hair down later.  What i get a kick out of is when i get home i ditch the jacket, take off the dress shirt, shake my hair out and wham, its a real girl in a cami and jeans with a soft, rich voice.  And thats how i kiss my wife right after.

I got it made.

So i aint screwing this up.

Love ya Jamie girl.

Trinity

We all have to do what we goatta' do for ourselves and our families. God knows that I hid the shit from my family and still am except for a certain few. But I have no kids but cousins, a father and others. Only a couple of close friends from way back know. SO I do know where you are coming rom sort of. But I don't live nowhere around them anymore so I can be free to be me.

Yeah Hon. I bet you could give me a run for my money. But I'm single and ready to mingle so regardless of who would win I am single and available.  For now anyway. Plus I don't advocate cheating but do love the guys and girls though.  More guys than girls but.... I actually think the human body male or female is a natural work of art. The mind and brain though? Sometimes that is questionable with other peoples prejudices and feelings of hate. Even unjustified.

Just be you Trinity. I can do the same thing but my "rebel attitude" and intolerance of idiots won't let me. It works good owning trucks and playing music but is a total fail in an office environment. But hey I chose that path to feel free to tell others to kiss my ass.

Luv ya' too Sis or S'is.

Jamie.