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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2015 4:45:01 GMT 8
Today I presented fully as myself. I felt visible. Petrified, exhilarated, amazed. And I got a new profile picture. Damn it Girl. So that is Cherie. Lookin' good. Petrified? That is pushing the boundaries and can be exhilarating. Exhilarated? I wonder why.? Maybe because you were finally who you are. Amazed? Shit. How many people trashed you and how many respected you? So you felt visible? I would say maybe more normal and real. You have always been visible. If not teach me the secrets of invisibility. I wold love to be able to go into an NFL locker room under the cloak of invisibility to see... Whew. I'm kind of getting warm. Seriously though Cherie. Good for you. As for masculine and feminine qualities. Everyone has that. LGBT or Cis. We are not special other than we embrace the opposite gender than our assigned gender at birth. We don't fool ourselves. There are plenty that do and there are plenty that show both genders and there are plenty that decide they are male of female and still display attributes of the other gender and there are some that ar truly cis and feel totally male or female. I would say most people fall in the category of deciding they are male or female and show the attributes of the other gender. I would say that there are probably very little totally male with male attributes and nothing but male attributes or female with totally female attributes with nothing but female attributes, I do believe this may be rare. Of course society will tell us this is the norm but in my opinion, I think this is more rare than the others.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 6, 2015 7:35:27 GMT 8
Jamie, not a single person trashed me. I got one odd glance from an old duck. I think a good looking 6 foot 1 woman has that effect. ???? I swallowed all my fear, did what I needed and now understand who I am a whole lot more. That smile is so real.
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trinity
Non-Binary
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Post by Trinity on Dec 6, 2015 8:59:31 GMT 8
Jamie, not a single person trashed me. I got one odd glance from an old duck. I think a good looking 6 foot 1 woman has that effect. ???? I swallowed all my fear, did what I needed and now understand who I am a whole lot more. That smile is so real. Best smile ever.
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2015 1:33:14 GMT 8
Jamie, not a single person trashed me. I got one odd glance from an old duck. I think a good looking 6 foot 1 woman has that effect. ???? I swallowed all my fear, did what I needed and now understand who I am a whole lot more. That smile is so real. Yeah a 6' 1" tall woman will do that. Hell I dated a woman that was 6'0" when I was younger and in the military so I had to fake the guy BS at least here in the states. I'm only 5'9" so we got stare whenever we would go out. This was the very early 90's. But damn she was beautiful and proportioned perfectly. Hell she could have been a MTF for all it's worth. I didn't give a shit and it seemed no one else did either. Just add 4" heels to 6'0" and she towered over me and most everyone else. I never asked her trans status because I could have cared less. If so she transitioned fully and me being trans didn't care one bit. But Cherie, I think a lot of our fear is unfounded. Remember that the only thing to fear is fear itself. I have been pushing the boundaries pretty hard myself lately with my hair. Now my brows are totally visible and I have not heard any negative remarks, or at least that I can hear. Now this is as a guy so I would think a lot of people would laugh but no, they don't. Trinity is right. That smile is shining and seems genuinely happy. So you go. It is really nice to feel somewhat comfortable in one's own skin as the gender they truly are. It is really nice to see someone smile so genuinely also. There will be idiots though but most people will actually stand up for you in the case of an idiot or two. But still make sure you keep that pepper spray or Taser in your purse. Just in case.
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Post by Trinity on Dec 8, 2015 9:00:11 GMT 8
I took a big chance today and came out to a coworker. I go with instinct, looks like I did ok with this one.
He was pretty surprised, I don't get read, unless I want to be read. Work is a battleground, my he part, if we can even call it that, is in full control.
I have to be really careful right now, sh'e is looking for the attention sh'e lost....
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Post by Deleted on Dec 8, 2015 11:30:37 GMT 8
I took a big chance today and came out to a coworker. I go with instinct, looks like I did ok with this one. He was pretty surprised, I don't get read, unless I want to be read. Work is a battleground, my he part, if we can even call it that, is in full control. I have to be really careful right now, sh'e is looking for the attention sh'e lost.... Take your time Trin. I have come out to people that knew already. I have come out to a few that had somewhat of an idea. Yeah I am coming out more and more. To old friends and so on with even certain family members. An old friend wanted to set me up even with a guy that likes trans women. A little leary but thinking more and more about it. If I like I may ask nim to move south a little bit. If he is cute of course or unless he is rich. I ain't shallow but I just don't want any "mommy issues". That, all the money in the world could cure. OK so I am a trans cougar. So sue me. But I have no desire to be a mommy figure for a grown man. Oh I can be one hell of a lover and teach a thing or two but no mommy here. If that is what a guy is looking for then they have more problems than me being trans for sure. So I'm trans. Big deal. If a guy has Mommy issues then they have more problems than me. I'm just trans.
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Post by Leena on Dec 8, 2015 12:33:23 GMT 8
I took a big chance today and came out to a coworker. I go with instinct, looks like I did ok with this one. He was pretty surprised, I don't get read, unless I want to be read. Work is a battleground, my he part, if we can even call it that, is in full control. I have to be really careful right now, sh'e is looking for the attention sh'e lost.... While this took a lot of courage, what is really accomplished by doing things like this? It seems to me that people are a lot more accepting of my gender non-conformity when I don't spell it all out. Is it that weird that I can live with people misgendering me even though it's obvious I'm not really presenting as a guy?
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Post by Trinity on Dec 8, 2015 15:09:58 GMT 8
I took a big chance today and came out to a coworker. I go with instinct, looks like I did ok with this one. He was pretty surprised, I don't get read, unless I want to be read. Work is a battleground, my he part, if we can even call it that, is in full control. I have to be really careful right now, sh'e is looking for the attention sh'e lost.... While this took a lot of courage, what is really accomplished by doing things like this? It seems to me that people are a lot more accepting of my gender non-conformity when I don't spell it all out. Is it that weird that I can live with people misgendering me even though it's obvious I'm not really presenting as a guy? You are totally right. Ive been crying a lot including at work. Sooner or later something had to give, and stress levels are super high. It wasnt smart. But if i did gain an ally, good. As to misgendering...no its not wierd. It only bugs me personally when i am fully presenting sh'e.
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Post by Leena on Dec 9, 2015 12:30:33 GMT 8
It may not have been smart, but I understand it. I haven't really came out to anyone I know IRL yet, and part of me really wants to. Work wouldn't exactly be my first choice, but at present, it's pretty much the only actual social life I have. The way I've been going, dressing more and more femme, it's more likely going to be a random stranger who probably won't be a possible ally that'll confront me.
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Post by Ayla on Dec 9, 2015 13:21:07 GMT 8
Only my homophobic brother remains to be told. Family, friends, colleagues and clients have been pretty good. Different reactions but range from supportive through humor, surprise, disbelief and concern, but each interested and I feel closer to them as a result and feel more authentic in general. Certainly I have largely put to bed my fear and my stress over being rejected or hurt when folk discovered that I was trans
As my hair gets longer and my breasts assert themselves I suspect that strangers will react. After more than 4 years on low dose HRT and many, many hours of electro, my brows have been shaped and the last facial and body hair has gone. Fat is being redistributed and there is some muscle loss. Andro appearance, yes (which I want), male fail not unless I further amp up the HRT Having moved to an implant I have stopped fiddling with dosage and accept that my dysphoria needs HRT, I really do need the HRT and whichever side effects then follow are ok with me.
Coming out has taken more than 2 years Folk don't really understand the non binary experience and I think they anticipated a more dramatic shift in my presentation. My mild FFS and longer hair have caused the most comment.. I also think that doing this in my 50's has meant that the physical effects have been less dramatic but I have got to the point where I don't have a lot of patience, so I am quite prepared to change my job, friends and other relationships if I don't receive the respect that each of us deserves
Safe travels
Aisla
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Post by EchelonHunt on Dec 9, 2015 15:32:52 GMT 8
Only my homophobic brother remains to be told. Family, friends, colleagues and clients have been pretty good. Different reactions but range from supportive through humor, surprise, disbelief and concern, but each interested and I feel closer to them as a result and feel more authentic in general. Certainly I have largely put to bed my fear and my stress over being rejected or hurt when folk discovered that I was trans As my hair gets longer and my breasts assert themselves I suspect that strangers will react. After more than 4 years on low dose HRT and many, many hours of electro, my brows have been shaped and the last facial and body hair has gone. Fat is being redistributed and there is some muscle loss. Andro appearance, yes (which I want), male fail not unless I further amp up the HRT Having moved to an implant I have stopped fiddling with dosage and accept that my dysphoria needs HRT, I really do need the HRT and whichever side effects then follow are ok with me. Coming out has taken more than 2 years Folk don't really understand the non binary experience and I think they anticipated a more dramatic shift in my presentation. My mild FFS and longer hair have caused the most comment.. I also think that doing this in my 50's has meant that the physical effects have been less dramatic but I have got to the point where I don't have a lot of patience, so I am quite prepared to change my job, friends and other relationships if I don't receive the respect that each of us deserves Safe travels Aisla This is my goal body-wise I intend to get the ball moving next year!
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DES Trans
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Non-Binary
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Post by Trinity on Dec 15, 2015 19:02:33 GMT 8
Jamie, not a single person trashed me. I got one odd glance from an old duck. I think a good looking 6 foot 1 woman has that effect. ???? I swallowed all my fear, did what I needed and now understand who I am a whole lot more. That smile is so real. In the binary present, i seem to be nearly the same. It struck me that i was better in the cis womens bathroom than the guys. One lady commented nicely on my hair and the rain. I had it on, was brushing it. I changed the voice, whispered, passed. Looked really good, honestly was shocked. So nervous i couldnt pee the first time, was ok the second. I was scared shitless going into a ladies room and putting on my wig there. Then with the shrink. As usual body language shifted to all girl. What blew my mind was he asked me if all my emotional descriptions of gender were not gender who am i. Pretty darned binary...pretty much a sh'e for real. Ive run the spectrum so many times i cant explain it. Im a me. What do I want. I can be anything. I want to be me. And i need my body. In a good place here. Good shrink, strange session. I realized i am really pissed at all the oppression and forced controls at home, family pressure. That leaves me with choices. I choose to not be out...why? Because of the gender enforcers. But i have it good too, why mess it up by revealing she to the same ignorance that so cruelly tortured my mind in school? Put my wife and kids through that bullshit? I have a lot i live as sh'e with the door shut. Just no wig or makeup. Like most girls at home. They dont wear hair and makeup to bed, and they are just as real as i am. No boxes. Just being, living, breathing. This is such a wild journey. And my core constantly comments, observes. Whats real, whats fake. How do we know without living that? Trinity
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